Playing for a live studio audience, one that’s broadcast to millions and then re-watched by millions more, is fucking fantastic. Afterward there’s a party held at a rooftop bar on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and we pile into two town cars for the drive. Selfishly I wish I could grab Opal’s hand and pull her into my lap, but I don’t know how to do that yet without losing my place in the band. There’s a sinking, suffocating feeling that comes with the realization and I don’t know how to push through. How do I keep the girl and this life that I love?

Everyone’s at the party. Celebrities, industry professionals, and several Off Track Records staff—which includes dear old Uncle Bedo. God, I wish he’d go the fuck away. He’s like a poison, infecting everything good around him. All these years I looked up to him, for leaving the family, for making it on his own, but I don’t anymore. He’s only out for himself, and there’s nothing noble in that.

Sipping my water, I stick close to Sean and Austin for most of the party and try not to stare longingly across the crowd at Opal. I smile and make small talk, but I’d rather ditch the event and go back to the hotel with my girl. Tonight’s the last night we’ll have privacy and a bed, and the desire to lose myself in the comfort of her body thrums incessantly in my blood. It’s not only about sex, though. Her sweet acceptance feels like a home I never knew. Even if we don’t fuck I’ll be perfectly content holding her in my arms, kissing those plump pink lips, and talking deep into the night.

“Come on, let’s go rescue Trent.” Sean slaps me on the back.

Trent, Lexi, and Opal stand at a high-top table, chatting to a woman and three men. I don’t know who they are, but by the designer suits and tight posture, they remind me of people my parents socialize with. Deep pockets.

As we cross the room I get a better glimpse at the woman. She’s familiar, like maybe we’ve met before, and the fear that she might know my parents, and in turn who I am, causes me to fall behind Sean. Shit. Why do I know her? My mind races but I can’t place her face.

“There they are! Sean, Leighton, these are the top executives from WMI.” Worldwide Music Industries. Only the largest distributer and producer of music. They’re as big as it gets and they’re talking to us. Trent tips his chin to Sean. “Where the hell did Austin run off to now?”

“Last we saw him, he was at the bar.” Sean shrugs before holding out his hand to the woman. “Sean. It’s nice to meet you.”

The woman shakes his hand. “You boys made quite a splash tonight. It’s nice to finally meet you, Sean.” She turns to me next. “You must be Leighton. I’ve heard nothing but good things about the new Three Ugly Guys drummer, and after tonight I can see why.”

I place my hand against her palm and a sense of déjà vu hits me square in the chest. “I’m sorry, but have we met?”

“Surely not.” She glances over my shoulder before returning my gaze with a bright smile. “I never forget a face.”

“She doesn’t. Vicky is as savvy as she is smart,” one of the suits says.

“Aw, Brent, you don’t have to suck up. I already like you.” She laughs and there it is again. That familiarity I can’t seem to shake.

“We’re going to grab another round,” Lexi interrupts, and my gaze darts to Opal.

Pain. It flashes in her eyes, but before I can decipher the cause of it, the girls are gone and we’re pulled into conversation with the execs. I try to focus. Smile when appropriate. Laugh and nod, too, but I’m totally distracted by the fact Opal isn’t with me. I want to turn around, scan the room and look for her, but I know my uncle’s here, too. Watching and scheming like the shark he is.

I don’t want to make her any more of a target than she already is, but I can’t take it anymore. “Hey, I’m gonna grab a drink,” I say to Sean. “I’ll be right back.” At his nod I work my way through the crowd, but there’s no sight of Opal. Her long red hair usually makes her easy to spot. Fuck. Where is she?

“Hey, Lexi!” I catch Opal’s sister on her way back to Trent. “What happened to Opal? Where did she go?”

“Why should I tell you, dipshit?” She pushes past and practically checks me with her shoulder.

Whoa. I hold up my hands. “Because I need to see her.”

“I don’t think she really wants to see you.” Her hands rest on her hips, and if I weren’t so determined to find Opal I would walk away.

“Why?” I shake my head, dumbfounded as to the reason Lexi’s being so rude.

She raises her brows. “Maybe she’s not keen on the fact you were checking out another woman for like five minutes straight.”

“What? Who? I wasn’t checking out anyone.”

“The CEO of WMI. Vicky, or whatever the fuck her name is.” She shakes her head. “Is Opal just a game to you? A conquest?”

“No!” Is that what she thinks? Fuck. I need to find her. “Look, I care about Opal, a hell of a lot, which I think you already know. I thought I recognized Vicky. I was only trying to remember from where. I can’t believe Opal thought I’d be into anyone other than her.”

She stares me down, long and hard, before she finally relents. “Then go find her. She went to use the restroom.”

“Thank you!” I say, my legs already moving toward the doors. Inside the restaurant, I spot Opal coming out of the restroom near the bar. Her gaze is cast downward and she doesn’t look up until she notices me blocking her path.

“Oh, hi,” she says.

“I want you. Only you.” The declaration flows freely from my lips.

She glances around before meeting my gaze and the question is clear in her eyes.

“That woman back there, I thought I recognized her. Thought maybe she was someone I knew before. But if she is, I don’t know from where. But I don’t care about her. I care about you.” I lay out my heart and reach to brush my fingers along Opal’s hip. The hardness in her eyes softens.

I take a small step forward, closing the distance between us even more and drop my voice so only she can hear. “It’s literally taking everything in me to not follow you around, hold your hand, and kiss you tonight.”

“I want that, too,” she says.

I nod, take a step back, and shove my hands into my back pockets so I won’t be tempted to reach for her. “Do you wanna maybe get out of here soon?”

“That depends,” she says and flashes me a coy grin. “Are you spending the night in my room again?”

I grin right back. “If I’m invited, yes.”

She nods, her skin flush and smile wide. “Meet you outside in ten? We can share a cab back to the hotel.”

“You’re so sexy when you make plans.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “That’s only because they’re sex plans.” She bites her bottom lip, as if she’s thinking about our time together. She shakes her head. “Okay, I’m going to tell Lexi good-bye. See you soon, rock star.”

“Can’t wait.” A grin is plastered to my face and I turn to watch her go.

Everything about this night is looking up. Until I catch sight of my uncle.

He’s across the restaurant, but his eyes are trained on me. Fuck. He nods at Opal as they pass and I swear to God if he says anything to her he’s going to regret it.

I meet his glare with a cocky smirk and brace myself for whatever shit he’s gonna pull.

“You fucking her yet?”

My jaw clenches but I hold in the surge of anger from his words. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “I have friends like that, too. So, who is she?”

I want to tell him she’s the most kind, generous, and beautiful soul on this earth. She loves with a trust and limitlessness I’ve never known. She doesn’t care where I come from or who I’ve been. She only judges me for the now. Who I am to her.

And that I’ve fallen in love with her. That I can’t imagine my life without her. That I never should’ve blackmailed him for this gig, because I can never tell her I’ve betrayed her trust. Or how I can’t bring myself to regret my choices because without them I’d have never met her.

But I don’t say any of those things. Instead I shrug, because acting the aloof and arrogant ass is my best mask. “I’m not a PI. Looks like you’re figuring out who she is just fine without my help.”

He takes a step forward, his voice low as he gets in my face. “Cut the shit, Leighton. Don’t try to tell me you have no fucking clue how a country mouse like her ended up as the personal assistant to a rock star as big as Trent.”

This time it’s easy to lie. “I don’t.”

“You know who she is.” He jabs his finger into my chest.

“I wish I could help you, but I can’t.” I shrug again.

“Can’t or won’t?” His eyes hold mine and he narrows his gaze. “You know, this little arrangement has been mutually beneficial until now, but I’m done. It’s time I had a chat with Opal. I’m sure she’ll be more than willing to spill after she learns exactly who you are and how you’ve been using her.”

“Leave her out of it.” The threat flies from my lips and I grip the collar of my uncle’s shirt, twisting the material along with the knot of his tie. Anger reverberates with every beat of my heart. I can’t lose her. Not now.

“Oh. Oh, Leighton. Bad move.” His lips twist with a bitter smile and he peels my fingers open and away from his throat.

He’s bigger than me. Older, too. But I’ll give him everything I’ve got if he threatens to get between the only true happiness I’ve ever known. “I mean it. Leave her alone.”

“This is better than I imagined.” My uncle steps back and straightens his tie. He meets my stare with a hint of laughter on his lips. “You’re in love with her.”

Yes. I work my jaw back and forth to keep from answering. Shit. I don’t even know exactly when it happened. I’ve been attracted to her from the start, but love? That sucker snuck up on me and I can’t even deny it.

“You are. You’re in love with her.” He laughs as though he’s hit the jackpot. Fucker.

“This isn’t about her. This is between you and me.” I need to set him straight. Keep his focus on the prize. “I told you I’d get you info on the band. Tell me what you need. I’ll find it for you.”

He shakes his head. “I want to know who she is. Otherwise I’ll tell her.”

“You can’t,” I beg. I fucking beg because that’s how much I love her. “Please. Don’t.”

“I will.” All humor is gone and he narrows his glare. Enunciating each and every word. “You have twelve hours. If I don’t hear from you by the time the bus hits Richmond tomorrow, I tell her everything.”

“I hate you.” The words seethe from my lips.

“Everyone does. I’m used to the sentiment.” He shrugs and walks back to the party as if he didn’t blow up my entire world.

I meet Opal downstairs and we share a cab back to the hotel. It’s a short drive but I can’t bring myself to say much. My mind runs with the thousand different ways this relationship goes with Opal, and all of them end badly. I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t know how to keep that from happening.

We walk inside the hotel lobby, which is busy despite the late hour. A crowd gathers at the bar and everyone around us seems happy, joyful, as they celebrate the weekend. I can’t get to the room quickly enough. There’s a need to block out all the noise, both internal and external, I can’t seem to chase.

But inside the room isn’t any better. My head pounds and the clarity I seek isn’t within reach. Because no matter what I do, I’m screwed.

“Hey.” Opal slides her hand down my arm until her fingers thread with mine. “What’s going on?” Her eyes are warm and inviting. Sweet. And completely fucking clueless.

“Nothing.” I shrug away from her touch. I don’t deserve her comfort.

She doesn’t let me off so easy. “You’ve been really quiet all night.”

“Just tired.” I stretch my arm back and rub the tension along my shoulders.

I can feel her gaze on me. Her kindness has always been a balm to the fractured edges of my soul, but now it only heightens my worthlessness. “You sure that’s all?”

“Jesus, Opal, can’t a man just be tired.”

“Sorry.” Her eyes widen as though I’ve struck her and she steps away, wrapping her arms around her waist.

I’m an asshole. I reach for her and though her limbs are stiff, she allows me to pull her close. “I’m sorry. I—” I take a breath to try again. “I . . . I’m—” Words fail me.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, but don’t lie to me.” Her words hurt more than a punch to the gut.

“I want to tell you, but . . .” I clench my eyes shut, breathe in the scent of her conditioner, and allow the tension to seep from my shoulders.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk.” Her arms wrap around my waist and she presses her body to mine. She lifts her chin and her lips deliver forgiveness I don’t merit, but accept anyway.

I’m a bastard, because I could tell her. Come clean. She’s all but given the perfect opportunity. Instead I assault her lips as if it’s the last time she’ll ever kiss me again. It might be. I’m not sure she’ll ever forgive me. Not after what I’ve done or how I’ve hidden this much of myself. If the tables were turned, I wouldn’t.

Instead of confessing my sins, I worship her. I brand myself on her with every sacred touch. We strip each other bare and I lay her out on the bed. We’re on borrowed time, but I make the most of every second. Kissing her, stroking her, loving her with my mouth until she comes.

I climb up her body, but she pushes me to my back. She’s bolder now. This woman isn’t the same girl I met weeks ago. She’s more. And for this moment, she’s mine.

“I want you,” she says. Straddling my hips, she rubs back and forth along my erection. It takes all of my remaining self-control to not push up into her. As much as I want that, to be sheathed in her warmth, I love watching her take control. Set the pace. Make me beg for more.

“Please, baby. Fuck, do you know how sexy you are right now?” The words tumble from my mouth. My hands caress up her thighs to her waist and skim up her chest until her breasts are in my palms. Heavy, full, and fucking amazing. I brush my thumbs across her nipples until they harden.

The moan that escapes her mouth is positively sinful. “Leighton, I want you in me. I want to ride you.”

My hands abandon her breasts to rest at her hips. “Yes, fuck me, baby. Ride me, Opal. Get yourself off on my cock.”

She gasps, her eyes finding mine, then she lifts her hips, positions me at her center and presses back down. “Oh, fuck. Leighton.” My name along with the intense look of pleasure on her face is enough to make me almost blow my load. I bite back the urge to lose myself, because this isn’t about me right now. It’s for her.

But holy fuck, she feels incredible. My eyes widen with the realization of why and I dig my fingers into her skin. “Condom,” I croak out through my tensed jaw. “We need a condom.”

Her eyes meet mine, but she doesn’t move off my cock. If anything, she grinds down harder as her hands rest on my chest. “Can you . . . pull out?” she says breathily. “It just, it feels so good. I don’t want anything between us.”

Fuck me. Her words are loaded and all the more reason I should refuse her request. I always wear a condom. Always. I’m nowhere near ready to be a father. I’ve never chanced it. But why does the idea not cause me to throw her off my dick? Opal carrying my child? That would be amazing.

In a few years.

If we are still together.

“I’ll try,” I say and groan because she immediately begins riding me again. This time she leans back, her breasts bouncing with the rhythm of her hips. I use my thumb to stimulate her already throbbing clit, needing to get her off once more before I come.

She’s intense. Erotic. Beautiful. We fuck, but we’re also making love. Her breaths come faster and she lets go of all inhibitions as she chases her release. I love the way my name falls from her lips as she climaxes.

I think I deserve an award for not coming on the spot.

“Opal, I’m coming.” I shove her hips up and back so she rests on my thighs. I grip my dick and shoot my load onto her belly and that pretty pussy I was just inside. “Fuck. Opal. That was . . .”

“The best sex of your life?” she offers with a satiated smile.

“Undeniably.” I nod, “But I made a mess. How do you feel about a shower?”

She wipes my release with her hand so it won’t drip onto the sheets. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Together we clean up under the warm spray of the water—another first for me. There’s an intimacy in washing each other, even though we spend most of the time laughing like idiots. It’s fucking cold when you’re not the one under the showerhead. After drying off, we don’t bother with clothes. We climb into bed and I pull the covers over both of us to keep warm.

Opal tucks her hand under her pillow and turns onto her side to face me. “Good night.”

“Sweet dreams.” I scoot closer, and my hand finds her hip. I stroke the soft skin there, and watch as her eyelids fall heavy. I study and memorize everything about this moment. The freckles that paint her skin. The soft open pout of her lips as she drifts to sleep. The comfort she takes in the safety of my arms, not knowing that tomorrow everything will change.

My nose burns with the hurt I can’t protect her from and tears well in my eyes. I kiss her forehead and bury my face in her hair. Breathing her in, the sweet scent that will forever remind me of her, I finally allow the tears to fall.

She’s perfect. Pure. Loving.

And soon enough I will change all that.