Mark

The day finally came for the big barbecue/wedding and I couldn't believe how nervous I was. It wasn't so much seeing all my coworkers again after so many months. It wasn’t even that they were all going to see me as a full-blown omega for the first time. It was that everything seemed so real all of a sudden. I guess I’d been living in this little world of me and Landon and Trevor for the last couple weeks, and now that people were going to come over and see our little family together, it was just a little overwhelming.

This new life as a father in a husband, it was amazing. It was more than anything I could have ever dreamed possible when I was a single cop going to strip clubs and picking up random dudes. I can’t believe I thought I was happy. I really believed that anything other than that life would be boring, or would make me a lesser man.

But I was so wrong. I was wrong about it being boring and I was wrong about childbirth and fatherhood being hard. I guess it’s the unknown that really is the scary part. And change. But really, it isn’t even the actual change that’s the scariest. It's that moment right before you’ve changed. Before you realize what you’re really capable of. Before you remember that you've done so many things like this before in your life. Things that were scary and seemed impossible. Things that you believed were all wrong, but somehow turned out fine. Or more than fine. And that’s when you know that what’s in front of you is just one more adventure. It’s all a matter of how you look at it.

I never did give myself enough credit for being able to handle just about anything. But when I thought about how far I’d come in such a short time, I was really proud of myself. And now … now I knew that anything was possible. Especially with Landon at my side.

I walked out to the backyard with a tray of little smokies wrapped in bacon and set them down on the table of food and drinks Landon had set up. I really wanted to set the tray right on my lap, but I figured I should share. Landon had done such an amazing job. There was a long table packed with salads, appetizers, chips, and dips. There was a huge pile of all kinds of meats ready to be barbecued. And there were drinks for days. I grabbed a soda and made my way toward the crowd that was gathered near the grill.

It was a huge backyard filled with grass and trees and gorgeous landscaped areas, and right now it was packed full. Members of both our families who had been able to fly in were mingling with the cops from the precinct. My brother was in the middle of a group of big, burly men who were all gushing over teeny baby Trevor, who they were gently passing around. Landon was right there too, laughing, and chatting, and keeping an eagle eye on his son. He really was good at being a protector, and it warmed my heart to know that he would always be there for us.

"So, Landon tells me you're interested in coming back to work," I heard from behind me. I turned around to see the captain walking up with a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. “Cute kid, by the way. He’s the spitting image of both of you.”

“Thanks, captain. I think he looks more like Landon, but I’ll take the compliment,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. It felt so good to be myself. But then I remembered what I’d done and looked down at my drink. “Hey, captain, I’m sorry I lied to you when I took my leave, but I didn't know how to—”

"Don't even mention it, Lewis,” he said as he slapped my shoulder. "I know what it's been like for omegas for the last few decades. Perfectly capable men and women who haven’t been allowed to take certain positions because it was assumed that their heat would put everyone in danger. I probably would have done the same if I was in that position.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I never bought any of that crap. I was always pushing to hire more omegas so that we could at least have some evidence one way or the other. I knew if we brought omegas on we could prove that it was all a bunch of bull.” The captain turned and gave me another slap. “But it looks like that’s all in the past. And if you want to come back, I’m more than happy to work with the two of you and your schedule.”

“So, I’m assuming Landon already gave you his proposal? That we each do part time shifts with Hank?”

“Yeah, he told me. I think that's a great idea. Kind of like work sharing. We may even be able to get some sort of maternity pay going.”

“That may be a little optimistic,” I said with a laugh. Although I thought it was an awesome idea. I just didn’t know how much progressive thinking the world could take at one time.

“Well, I think we should document everything, and in six months to a year we'll have something to show those naysayers who think that the old ways are better.”

“You’re not talking about me again, are you?” I heard in my ear as Landon slipped his hands over my shoulders. “Me and my old ways?”

“No, sweetie. Your old ways, I love. Speaking of which, when’s the ceremony?”

“Right now,” Landon said, kissing the crook of my neck.

I closed my eyes and smiled, letting the feeling of happiness and the chills from Landon’s lips run freely through my body. “If you do that much longer we’re gonna have to skip the ceremony.” I felt Landon’s smiling lips pull away from my neck, then let my body rest against his for a long moment before turning around. “Okay,” I said when my eyes met his. “Let’s do this.”

Landon made the announcement and we all made our way to one corner of the backyard. Landon had some people come and set up chairs, and an aisle, and bunches of gorgeous flowers where we would be taking our vows.

It turned out that the new omega, Hank, had become ordained a few years ago in order to marry some friends on a beach in Hawaii, and he volunteered to perform the ceremony. So, when everything was ready to go, Landon put Trevor in one arm, then grabbed my hand, and we walked down the aisle together.

Everyone stood up as we made our way across the grass, and every single person there was grinning ear to ear. When I looked over at Landon and Trevor my eyes filled with tears seeing how happy they both were.

“We’re gathered here today to join Mark Lewis and Landon Harrison together as a loving couple.” Hank looked a little nervous, but when he glanced away from the crowd and saw how happy we were, I think he relaxed a bit. We went through a fairly short version of a traditional ceremony, but when it came to the vows, Landon and I chose to say our own. Landon handed Trevor to Hank, then grabbed both of my hands, and even though I was terrified, I went first.

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you,” I said, looking into Landon’s eyes. “I may be courageous, and willful, and strong … and I may be a good cop … but … with you, Landon … I’m a thousand times better. You make me better. And I love you. So much.” I had to hold myself back from wrapping my arms around him. After saying those words in front of so many people I just wanted to feel him close to me, but I had to wait for Landon to take his turn.

Immediately Landon smiled. He kept his eyes on mine as he brought his hands up, wrapping them around the back of my neck, then he moved his face close to mine. “You,” he said in his deep, commanding voice, “are the man of my dreams. And I will always be madly in love with you.” He didn’t wait a beat before bringing his lips to mine, and when he did, I pressed my body into his.

My head was spinning and I couldn’t breathe. Landon had a way of sweeping me off my feet with a look, but what he’d just said melted my entire body. I felt myself molding into every curve of his as his hands held me firmly.

The kiss was soft and sweet at first, but quickly became passionate and filled with the deep desire we had for each other. And our lips didn’t part until we heard yells and cheers from everyone who surrounded us.

“I now pronounce you, Mark and Landon Harris,” Hank said, smiling at us and putting Trevor in my arms. “And Trevor!” I said as I held my son up in the air.

“And Trevor!” everyone, including Landon, yelled out. The entire group broke into applause and cheers as we kissed one more time. Then, as we walked back through the crowd—through our friends and family and everyone I cared about—and I sat down with Trevor in my arms, I realized I couldn’t have wiped the silly grin off my face if I tried.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look happier in your entire life,” Stephen said as he sat down on the lounge chair next to me. “You’re literally glowing, you know that, don’t you?”

I laughed out loud. “Well, I feel like I’m glowing.” I looked at my brother and thought about how much things had changed in the last few months. “I feel a lot different than I did when I saw you at the clinic. I can’t even remember who I was back then. I thought I had to keep all of this a secret from everyone so I could hold onto what I had. But look at this,” I said, my eyes scanning the happy faces that filled the backyard. “It’s amazing. I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

“You weren’t stupid. You were just keeping a big secret from yourself, too. Probably the biggest one.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Well, you said you thought your life had to look a certain way in order for you to be happy, but you weren’t. And you told me you wanted to be a certain person or you wouldn’t be happy, and that wasn’t true either. I think the secret we’re all keeping from ourselves is that happiness doesn’t come from any of that.”

“Where do you think it comes from?”

“I don’t know for sure. I’m no expert, obviously. But I think it has a lot to do with letting go. Like you did with your ideas about omegas and respect. I’m proud of you, Mark. You’ve done something a lot of people can only hope and wish for. You changed yourself. You let go of your fears and allowed yourself a better person, even though it was scary. You really are an amazing person.”

“Thanks, man. Right back at you,” I said, punching my brother’s shoulder. I paused for a moment before continuing. I didn’t want to come off like my life was more perfect than his and that I had all the answers, but I really wanted my brother to be happy too. “We need to find someone for you, now. And get you one of these,” I said, gesturing to Trevor.

Stephen held his hands out and I handed him my son. “Believe me, I want a family.” He shifted so that Trevor slid right into the crook of his arm, then sat back on the lounge chair. Trevor giggled and stared up at Stephen like he’d found a new toy. “I don’t know,” Stephen said as he absentmindedly played with Trevors small hands. “I guess I’ve just been hiding lately. After what happened with Jamie, and then seeing Jake in the delivery room, I kind of feel like staying under a rock and ignoring the world as far as relationships are concerned.”

“Well, I’m not gonna let you do that. If I have to spend every single day looking for a guy for you …” I stopped talking when I saw the change in my brother’s face. He looked horrified at first, then pissed off. “What’s the matter?” I asked, turning around to see what Stephen was looking at.

“What the hell is he doing here? Did you invite that bastard?” Stephen looked angry, but there was a sadness in his eyes too.

When my eyes fell on the group of people at the sliding patio doors I finally knew what had him so upset. Jake Livingston had just walked in with two of the guys from the precinct. He was smiling and shaking Landon’s hand, then he scanned the crowd and his eyes fell on Stephen.

“Did you guys invite him?” Stephen said through gritted teeth.

“No! I had no idea he was gonna show up. Honest! He must have come with someone from the precinct.”

“So he crashed your wedding? What an ass. He needs to be taught some manners. Can’t one of these cop friends of yours throw him out?”

“We’re not gonna throw him out, Stephen. Just relax. Take your own advice and let it go. He’s not going to bother you. I’m sure he’s just as scared to see you as you are—”

“Stephen,” a low voice said from behind me. “I’m so glad to see you again. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you at the hospital. I had an … well, I had something to take care of.”

I looked at my brother’s stunned face, then turned to see Jake Livingston standing behind me. I barely remembered him from the delivery room, and looking at him now I could see one of the obviously reasons why Stephen had fallen for him in the first place. He was tall and dark and handsome. The perfect doctor. Just like my brother. In fact, I was sure the two of them probably looked pretty damned perfect together. But that was ancient history. At least, it was according to Stephen. I wasn’t so sure about that now. Not when I saw the way Jake was looking at my brother.

As I glanced back and forth between the two of them I knew there was nothing that could happen that would put a crimp in this amazing day. But I was a little worried about this turn of events. I didn’t want there to be any bad vibes going on. I looked back at Stephen, who hadn’t uttered a word yet, and raised my eyebrows at him. Then took a deep breath and let it go, hoping my brother would take the hint and do the same.

I hoped he could do what I’d somehow been able to in the last few months. I hoped he could take a deep breath, and let it out, and let all of his fears go too.