Broden had never considered himself a coward, although he was well aware there were some in his hometown of Scotland who refused to speak his name any longer. His family name had been sullied by his actions, or perhaps his actions after the fact. Right now he felt like nothing but a yellow belly, one who’d allowed an incredible woman out of his life without even a fight. As he stood in front of the only place in town that seemed to give him any comfort, he shook his head and gazed into the sky. There was going to be a storm later. The blackening skies matched his ugly mood, everything reminiscent of that damning day.

Even though it was late spring, he was shivering from the wind whipping across his neck and face. He really hadn’t intended leaving the house without at least talking with Kaela, but the instant he realized she’d seen a glimpse into his wretched past, he realized he could never get away from anything, especially the horrors.

As he stood on the banks of the small lake, surrounded by trees, he glanced across to the other side. The graveyard was protected, a hallowed piece of confederate history. He’d found the serene and very secluded place one day when he’d been running, or maybe attempting to get away from the world.

Ever since the day he’d merely happened on the beautiful spot a few months before, he’d come here at least once a week. Only twice had he seen other people and the peaceful reverence allowed him to regroup, perhaps pretend he was the man in the United States he was portraying himself to be. Inhaling, the scent of oncoming rain and the fresh flowering plants and trees reminded him a bit of home, and of the loneliness he felt. So damn lonely.

He rubbed his eyes, longing to find solace and forgiveness at least within himself. Then again, he would never forget. His burden in life was to bear the cross of losing her. His pain and misery was deserved and there was no way he could allow another woman into his life, to get close to him. Why would he even offer her a life with a man who was… unholy?

As the wind continued to whip in the trees, he slipped his hands in his pockets and thought about Kaela. He hadn’t intended on the party or enticing her seduction. He certainly hadn’t intended to come up with such a ridiculous plan. As if he’d ever consider firing her. The blasphemy was ridiculous, horrendous. The woman was his backbone in the company, the only one who could take his moods, his odd behavior. She challenged his authority as well as his libido. He’d imagined her coming to him late one night, becoming the vixen he’d always known she was inside, and offering more than just her body.

At those very precious moments, he’d become her warrior as well as her lover, and her hero. He was nobody’s hero. Broden knew what he had to do with Kaela and while she would hate him for a little while and he could lose her in his company, she would be better off in the end. As he glanced back over at the graveyard, he could almost hear her crying. Samantha. The lovely young woman had entrusted more than just her body with him. For some reason he’d lost control one night, one freaking lousy night, and she’d paid with her life.

Of all the nights. Of all the times. They were developing something so special and he knew he cared about Kaela more than any other woman he had in his life, including the very woman who’d stolen his heart years before. As he heard the first claps of thunder, he groaned and realized this was very much like the day she… the day Samantha died. The experts gave various causes, including her heart was weak. However, they didn’t know for certain. They didn’t know her at all. None of the explanations mattered to him, or to her family or to the closely-knit community he’d grown up in. He and his sister had been ostracized almost immediately. He’d refused to allow his sister, or Samantha’s memory, to suffer.

Sniffing, a tear slipped from the corner of his eyes and he pushed back his sadness. He wasn’t allowed to be sad or happy, nor did he deserve any success in life. He deserved to die. For a few seconds he contemplated walking out into the water and remaining. Yeah. As if he had the courage to kill himself. As the first crack of lightning flashed across the horizon, he gazed into the sky, watching the ominous patterns the clouds were making, crisscrossing the sky. His heart was heavy.

Swallowing hard, Broden held out his hands, staring at the instruments of death. He darted his eyes back and forth from hand to hand, the realization of what he was capable of never leaving him. As if it should. “Fuck!” Raging to the wind, he threw his arms into the air as another crack of lightning slammed down somewhere in the distance. He so longed to succumb to the pain, relinquish control and end the torture, but he couldn’t and he knew better. He was going to live out his life as God intended, paying for his sins. Looking down, he was haunted by Samantha’s playful laughter, something he hoped he’d never forget.

The wind howled around him, thunder rolling closer and closer. He was going to have to either face Kaela or leave for a little while, just to clear his head. Neither idea suited him. There were few choices. As the first drops of rain began to fall, he glanced up at the sky. His mother was Irish and a song that always gave her comfort he would never forget. The words seemed to flow.

“Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying. 'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.”

Lowering his head, the rain felt good against his heated skin, and he allowed himself to cry.

* * *

“Shit!” Kaela jumped as the clap echoed around the room. The storm was close. Folding her arms, she had to force herself to look away from the table. Tears brimmed her eyelashes and she hissed in an attempt to fight them away. She wasn’t a crier. She wasn’t a woman who succumbed to her emotions, at least she hadn’t for years. Then why are you crying? Shaking her head, she looked at the note again before tossing it down on the table. If he didn’t want her, then Broden was missing out. Damn the man. Damn his bullshit and his untrusting spirit. Damn his roguish behavior and harsh tactics.

And damn the fact he was so fucking good looking. Laughing, she pressed her hand over her mouth, her tummy aching just seconds later. She sauntered toward the window, thinking about the way he kissed her, the way he’d touched her, and for the life of her, she was so wet her pussy was aching with need. When she drew close to the glass, she remained unblinking, watching the trees swaying, the dark clouds rolling. She could almost taste his lips, smell him, his scent so very male. Tilting her head to the side, she palmed the glass and sighed.

What could she really offer him other than attitude? Undying love. Shivering, she refused to allow her mind to think about this. She couldn’t. The single promise made to herself was just that. No love at any time. Ever. But you do. Cringing, she looked away, so many thoughts, so many ideas. So many desires. “Shit!” The clap of thunder followed by a hard strike of lightning meant the storm was close, too close. She hated thunderstorms, everything about them. Her teeth were chattering as she took a step back from the window. The rain was just starting to pelt hard against the siding of the house.

She wasn’t certain she could help him. How could she? For a few seconds she stood quietly, trying to control her breathing, until the next hard strike of lightning made her recoil into the corner of the room. “Fuck!” Shivering, she rocked back and forth as she crowded the wall, so many ugly memories crowding the last vestiges of peace. Despite all she’d accomplished and all she knew she was as a woman, he still had some hold on her.

After a few seconds and a rumble of thunder, she snarled. “No more.” She was going to search the house for anything that might help her. She was going to call Broden, and she was going to encourage him to come and talk with her. Period. The table reminded her of their passion and she was determined to help him see how special they were. They would be together—one way or the other.

Kaela walked by the window and something caught her eye. Another flash was enough to send her reeling, but even in the darkness she could make out a form, someone lurking in the shadows. Straining, she pressed her face against the glass. “Oh God.” There was no doubt in her mind the person was Broden. For some reason she knew he could see her watching, waiting. Her heart was racing so badly a lump was caught in her throat. “Broden…”

She was frozen, unsure of what to do, or how to react. He’d come back and damn it she was going to find a way to him, both emotionally and physically. Her feet finally moving, she stumbled toward the back door. Her fingers wrapping around the doorknob, she tugged. The door refused to budge. “Damn it!” Slapping her hand on the doorjamb, she stared wide-eyed at the lock. “No. No!”

She struggled and fought with the door, finally managing to throw it open. Racing out into the rain, she couldn’t see anything in the steady stream of water. “Broden!” She could see him standing on the outskirts of the property. Gripping the deck railing, she shook her head, every part of her body shaking. “Broden, please stop.” He seemed to be waiting, as if wanting her to come to him.

Her heart pumping, she raced down the set of stairs, her feet flying. When she finally made it to the foot of the stairs she stumbled slightly almost falling to the ground. The rain was heavy and Kaela moved forward, the sheet of rain blinding her. “Broden!” She brushed her hand across her face and squinted. He was no longer there.

“No. No.” She ran forward, but could see he’d gone. “Broden.” As the rain continued pelting down, she stood up straight, her lower lip quivering. For a few minutes she remained still, staring at the forest of trees bordering the back of the property. There was no reason to follow and no way she was going to find him. Broden didn’t want her in his life.

She turned away, walking back to the house, her resolve crushed. She had no idea what to think as she walked up the stairs, her feet heavy. By the time she walked inside, she was freezing, soaked. How dare he do something like this! How fucking dare Broden not care enough to tell her personally he never wanted to see her again. How fucking dare he! Fisting her mouth, she whimpered and pressed her back against the wall, cramps settling in to her stomach. There was no way to describe what she was feeling. Maybe she wasn’t feeling any longer.

She leaned her head against the doorjamb, listening to the sounds of the storm. A myriad of thoughts were jumbled in her head, but her gut told her the key to Broden’s behavior was definitely whatever happened with the girl. Still shivering, she shook her head and walked out of the kitchen and toward his office. The moment she opened his door she knew he’d taken or locked up the file. She pressed her hand against her forehead and sighed. “Why? What have you done? What are you hiding that’s killing your soul?”

Rational thoughts were difficult, but as the scattered bits of information continued to flow, she remembered Angel had certain connections in her family that might be able to help her figure out just who Broden was. However, she knew if she said anything to Angel, Broden’s past would be exposed, no matter what his previous life had entailed. She weighed the concept, the worries, but she knew what little she might gather from the Internet she guessed would be just a portion of the story. Whatever Pandora’s Box had him tied in knots, few men or women were going to be able to help him. And now she was more than determined.

She wiped the water from her eyes and lifted his office phone receiver. As she dialed Angel’s number, she stared out the window, praying he might just be there.

“Angel Barnes.”

“Hey.”

Kaela heard hesitation.

“Kaela?” Angel said.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You? As in the you best friend who suddenly disappeared without a single word?” Angel huffed.

“I know. I couldn’t explain, not really. Look, I need your help,” Kaela closed her eyes and leaned against Broden’s desk.

“I don’t like the way your voice sounds. Did something happen?”

“Yes. No. I mean—”

Angel sighed. “What’s going on? You left without saying anything and Mr. MacGruder is gone and… Oh crap. You’re with him, aren’t you?”

“I um, well I was, and then this thing happened, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, now you’re scaring me,” Angel said quietly.

“I don’t mean to I just…” Fidgeting with her sash, Kaela couldn’t stop shaking.

“Talk to me. Did something happen? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?”

A slight moan escaped her lips. “Why would you think he hurt me?” Angel knew enough about Kaela’s past to be protective, at times like a mama bear. If her friend knew the whole truth, there’d be no way she would allow her to date any man who hungered to own another.

“I do not at all like the sound of your voice. Where the hell are you?”

“At his place. I’m here because he asked me to and we were setting this contract and you know how it goes with him. He has to be in charge, but the truth is he’s much more than just our boss. In fact, he’s really not who you think he is at all. There are some things about him I don’t understand. I just don’t and—” Her voice trailing off, Kaela knew how ridiculous she sounded.

“Yep. Now I’m terrified. Slow down, tell me where you are and I am coming to get you right now.”

“No!”

“Girl, what the fuck is going on?” Angel demanded.

Kaela exhaled slowly, her lower lip trembling. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t have any fucking clue what’s going on and that’s why I called you.”

“Honey, you’re not making any sense. Start from the beginning and slowly tell me what’s going on.”

As she began to tell the story, leaving out a few of the more intimate details, she was grateful Angel remained quiet. By the end she knew what she was saying sounded like nothing more than a man who no longer wanted a woman. But she knew better.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You think something horrible from Broden’s past is keeping him from wanting to be with you?”

“That’s the gist of it.” How else could Kaela describe what she was thinking?

“And this probably happened in Scotland. Right?” Angel’s voice was steady.

“I think so. Had to have happened there. He’s only been in the country for about a year.”

“Well, then we have somewhere to start.”

“Do you think your friend can find anything out?” Kaela wasn’t certain she wanted to hear the answer.

Angel chuckled. “Trust me. My friend can find dirt on any man or woman, including the pope. The question is, do you really want to know the truth? Do you really want to after what happened to you?”

Kaela hesitated only a few seconds. “Yes. I want, no I need, to know everything. Angel, I’m falling in love with him.”

“Oh great.”

* * *

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Kaela stood glaring at the bleach-bottle blonde, incensed the administrative assistant was denying her information.

“As I just said, he’s gone for at least a week and asked not to be disturbed.” Giving Kaela a look screaming of perceived authority, the woman dismissed her with a nod and began typing furiously on her computer keyboard.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name again? Bambi or Barbie?”

Jerking her fingers off the keyboard, the blonde narrowed her eyes and slowly lifted her head. “Brittany, but you already knew that, didn’t you, Krissa?”

Okay so score one point for the vixen in heels. Time to take a different tactic. “You’re right. Look, I have some important information I need to get to him very personally. This is something that can’t wait. May I please have his phone number?”

Brittany smiled, the look coy. “Even if I did have the number I wouldn’t give it to you. I do follow directions.”

The implied slap was fairly heavy duty. Sighing, Kaela thought about the last few days. She’d gotten Angel to pick her up the night he’d raced into the rain, hiding in her house for a solid two days to try and figure out what was going on. Angel had pried and Kaela had simply shut down. Even glasses of wine, tears and a heavy dose of butter pecan ice cream hadn’t made her feel any better.

Every phone call she’d made to his cell phone had been unreturned and she realized she had no idea about anything in his life other than work. She’d managed to create a crack, seeing a glimpse into his world, but he’d shut everyone out, especially her.

“Brittany. I really need to get in touch with him. It’s personal and I simply want to talk to him. Is he calling in at all? I mean once this week?” Kaela realized her voice sounded desperate. Great. Now that would be the water cooler fodder later today.

Brittany scrutinized her for a full minute before leaning closer. “All I know is that he told me that where he’s going there isn’t any cell phone reception and that he anticipated being back the first of next week.”

“Next week?” It was only Thursday. She couldn’t wait for a few days to talk with him. She’d go mad.

“That’s what he said.”

“But if he calls in you’re going to let me know, right?”

“Uh-huh. Sure thing.” Bobbing her head up and down, Brittany smiled brightly.

Kaela wanted to rip the smirk off her face. “All right. Thank you.” She wasn’t just dejected; she was terrified he was going to ask her to resign, thereby pushing her completely out of his life. That had to be why he was away from the company, trying hard to figure out how to ask without sounding, well, sexist. She started to walk away and stopped. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many emotions hanging raw in her mind. “Brittany, I know you don’t like me very much. I can understand why given I haven’t even attempted to get to know you. But I can tell you something very important about me. I care about this man. I’m risking everything I have telling you this because I know you could by all rights turn around and tell everyone in the company the Director of Publicity has a thing for the boss. But…” She fisted her mouth, stars floating in front of her eyes.

“But?”

“But I care about him. I’m sure for all the wrong reasons and I’m certain I’m not good for him, but I care. I simply want to find out if he’s okay, tell him some things that he needs to hear. I know what I’m telling you sounds crazy at best. I just… I just care about him.” Sighing, she closed her eyes. When she didn’t hear anything she nodded and started to walk away. What an idiot she was.

“For the record, I do believe you and I understand.”

Kaela looked toward Brittany, expecting some knowing look as she was ready to pen a wretched email. Instead she saw a woman who must have experienced her own share of bullshit with men in her life. “Thank you.” Groaning, she walked back to her office, hoping for some divine intervention. Without a doubt, she was stymied for the first time in her life.

She kicked her office door closed and walked toward her window. All the soul searching and Internet searching on the man had produced about the name thing, a little bit of nothing. For all practical purposes, Broden MacGruder was a popular Scotsman in his hometown and the lineage she’d been able to find led him to a mom, dad, and sister who were still living. She found enough press about his work in Scotland to support the man he purported himself to be. She found a newspaper article from the day he left after purchasing the advertising firm, and she even found the real estate information when he purchased his house. That was basically it. There was no dirt, nothing to indicate anything horrible, but Kaela knew when something appeared squeaky clean, the information was usually covered in muck. Now she just had to figure out how dirty and slimy the ugly truth really was.

She dropped her head, anger and frustration merely normal at this point. Barely sleeping, she was on edge and determined to hire a private investigator to find Broden.

“Okay, are you ready for this? I mean really ready?”

Hearing Angel’s accusatory tone, she turned, narrowing her eyes. “Do I really want to know?

Closing the door, Angel held up a file in her hand. “It took some doing but my friend found some interesting information about our boss.”

“Interesting?”

“Maybe damning. Depending on how you look at it.”

“Damning?” Kaela shivered and glanced down at the file.

“Unfortunately.” Angel moved closer, her eyes never leaving Kaela. “Look, are you sure you want to see this? Some of this is pretty raw.”

Folding her arms, she rubbed both, a horrific chill racing down her spine. “I think I need to know. Don’t you? I mean, how bad can this be? It’s not like he murdered anyone.” A haunted look crossed Angel’s face and she sucked in her breath. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“Kaela, I’m not trying to tell you anything. What my guy found isn’t something pretty much anyone wants to let out in the open. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Yes. I need to know. No matter what we’re talking about, I need to know.”

Angel seemed to be studying Kaela, as if gauging her reaction. “You are aware he’s into BDSM, right?”

Kaela opened her eyes wide. The dirty little secrets were going to start to roll.

“See, I didn’t think you did. I’m not even sure if you really understand what that means and I thought that…”

“Wait a minute.” Interrupting, she walked around the desk, sitting on the edge. “I do know.”

“Hmm. Okay. What do you think you know, whips and chains?”

During moments in her life, Kaela knew she’d have to be faced with telling someone what she longed for. Angel only knew the after effects of the event that nearly cost Kaela her life, not the reasons for the attack. There might have been several reasons she’d been hiding her true inner self, but that just couldn’t go on any longer. “Angel, I know. I’ve been investigating the D/s lifestyle for years, including aspects of BDSM. The reason I was so drawn to Broden was his commanding ways and perhaps an innate understanding about his desires. He’s a Dom and I’m a submissive. I long to be owned and collared, trained to be the perfect companion for a man. I pushed back with him at first because of what I endured years ago.”

“Then why do you trust him now?”

“Gut instinct and things we talked about. The way he didn’t pressure me. What Broden and I shared, at least I thought so, was the beginnings of something. Of something amazing. I could see being with him in ways few people can imagine. I know what is in his heart and his mind and I know what’s in mine. I want more. I need more.” She allowed the words to hang, expecting to see horror crossing Angel’s face.

“All right. I completely understand.”

“You do?”

Angel nodded. “Yes, my sister is a submissive and has been owned by a man for almost ten years. She’s told me a lot about the lifestyle and while I initially balked at the very concept, I’ve learned not only to respect the D/s relationship, but long for something so amazing and powerful myself. I’m not a submissive myself, but I see the connection as being amazing for some. I also knew whatever happened to you had to be about giving away control. Certain aspects just fit. You don’t have to tell me what happened to you, but I know you’re trying very hard to deal with everything right now. If you’re sure you want to know more, learn more about Broden, you know you’re going to have to face whatever happened to you as well. Right?”

For a minute Kaela remained silent. “Yes, that I know and I’m so relieved I told you about Broden,” she laughed nervously. Her feelings weren’t just about relief, but a moment of joy.

“I am too. I’m glad you trusted me.” Angel walked closer.

“Yes. I just, I don’t know, girl. The moment he spanked me and fucked me I knew what I had to have. He’s the man for me.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re opening up so much. You’re trusting you again. I can tell you’re ready for this.”

“But?” Kaela didn’t at all like the look on her friend’s face.

“But…” Angel sighed and closed the distance to Kaela’s desk, setting the file on top. She opened the flap slowly and smoothed her hand over the picture.

“I’ve seen that before. Who is she?”

“You mean who was she?”

Kaela’s lower lip quivered. “She’s dead?”

“Yes.”

“How?” Her voice was barely audible.

Angel looked down, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Kaela waited for a few seconds and couldn’t take it any longer. “Tell me! If I’m going to consider a life with this man, succumbing to him body and soul, I deserve to know.”

“Yes. Yes, you do.” Angel shifted through the top papers in the file before pulling out a single sheet. She held the paper up in front of her face. “There have to be more details, but we haven’t been able to find them yet.”

“Just tell me.”

“Okay. The girl: her name is Samantha Jennings. From what my guy has been able to determine, she was his submissive for about a year.”

“I’m with you. What happened?” Kaela whispered.

“She died, Kaela.”

“I know. How?”

She moved the top pictures aside, showing Kaela a vivid color picture hidden underneath.

Kaela sucked in her breath, a single moan escaping her lips. As she stared at the glossy photo, tears brimmed in her eyes. “How? I mean—”

“This is where it gets fuzzy and I admit we have to check but…”

“Damn it! Tell me!”

“Samantha died by his hands. The majority of the people in his hometown say it was murder, but he was never formally charged.”

“Murder?” There was no way. The ugly words reverberated in her ears, echoes bouncing back and forth. For a few seconds she was certain she was going to faint. Looking away, Kaela tried to collect herself, tears slipping from her eyes. “That’s why, he, he left the country?”

“Well, no one is saying that exactly,” Angel said softly. “What do you think you’re going to do?”

Before she had a chance to answer, there was a sharp knock on the door. “Come in.”

Brittany eased inside, her eyes settling on Angel. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t. What do you need?” Kaela wiped her eyes and tried to smile. Oh my God. Murder?

“I, uh, look, I heard what you said and I lied. I can tell how much you care about Mr. MacGruder,” Brittany said as she nibbled her lower lip.

“I’m sorry. What did you lie about?” Kaela asked, more than just curious.

“He’s staying at a house on the beach on Hilton Head Island. No one knows he owns the place. He said it’s the only place he can be himself. I don’t know and I…I… Sorry, I have the address for you.” Stuttering, Brittany eased a piece of paper down on Kaela’s desk.

“Thank you. I mean…” What in the hell could she say?

Brittany nodded. “I know. You’re welcome. For the little it’s worth, he watched you every time you were near. I can tell how much he cares about you. I just hope this won’t get me fired.”

Kaela picked up the piece of paper eyeing the address. “I do care. I really do and I promise you, he won’t know where I got the information.”

Brittany nodded.

Both Angel and Kaela watched her walk out, closing the door.

“What are you going to do?” Angel asked after Brittany left the room.

Kaela wasn’t a risk taker any longer in her life. She lived every day in various shades of gray, but this time she needed perhaps red. “I’m going to go to him and I honestly need your support on this. I understand what your reports say and I appreciate what you and this mystery man have done to find out information about him, but right now I don’t care. I just need to try this and I need to find out what I need. I know it all sounds nuts, but I need to know everything.” Yes, she sounded nuts.

“In truth, I’m amazed and very happy you’re following your gut. You’re an adult woman and I have no doubt there’s more to this story than what we can find in print. If you’re right about this, you’re going to free whatever horrible hold this man from your past has on you.”

“But if I’m wrong…” Kaela didn’t need to finish the sentence.

“I will warn you to be careful, but I know my friend. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“I understand.”

“No, I’m not sure you do. My sister almost died at the hands of a Dom early in her life. He wasn’t a man of honor, but a sadist, so I’m sensitive to fear. I’m also understanding of what women and men need. Your instinct is strong and right on the money, so go with it.”

“Why do I feel a but here?” Kaela wasn’t sure what to think.

“Not a but. I have one suggestion.”

“Suggestion?” She wasn’t sure what she was doing.

“Let me introduce you to my friend. He’s a Master Dom and can give you perhaps some understanding if nothing else, at least in the best ways of dealing with willful women. Plus, he can give you ideas on how to make certain Broden isn’t the man in this file.” Her eyes twinkling, Angel licked her lips. “Here’s the file for you to read everything yourself.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“Mmm. If I were into girls…”