STELLA

Smiling to myself, I made my way down the long corridor from the laundry room. I had just conditioned Booth’s leather cut with a special leather softener. As I held the coveted president cut to my chest, I felt the elation of last night that had led into the early hours of the morning and, after a snooze, some of this afternoon. My man was insatiable. I giggled to myself, remembering the number of love bites that were all over my body, especially my breasts. Booth seemed quite enamoured with them, and he had even given me one on my pubis. Oh, Lord, that had been a climax all on its own.

I could hear a voice coming from near the war room. It was a strong rule of the club that if voices could be heard, stop, turn around, and find an alternate route. Never stop and listen. Deciding to take a different way just in case a meeting was about to go on, I turned to change my direction. But when I realised it was Booth’s voice, I hesitated.

“Hey, sweetheart, wanna bring yourself around for a quickie?”

I felt the blood leave my face. A chill travelled down my spine, and my heart ached. I stood rooted to the spot as I listened to the man I gave my virginity and heart to arrange a sex visit with some woman, telling her to use her secret entrance. What in the hell? Then I listened to him laugh with her. Ingrid! It had to be Ingrid. Perfect tits Ingrid.

Move, Stella, move your feet and get the hell out of there. But I couldn’t, not only because I was in shock but also because I couldn’t move too fast anyway. The pig cheating arsehole loved me so thoroughly and so many times that I was too sore to run.

But it was his smile that broke me completely.

His head was still down as he put his phone in his pocket, and I could see the smile form, wistful and happy. Sexy. Oh, God. I let out a sob that got Booth’s attention. He looked … guilty?

“Stella! No, Honey. No, wait.”

I don’t think so. I dropped his cut to the ground and ignoring the ache and tenderness between my legs, I ran in the direction of the main room. I had to get out of there. His voice was bellowing to stop, but stuff that for a joke. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, and I am a fucking idiot wanker looking to be a doormat.

“Hey, Stells, where is the fire?” Steel joked, sitting on the couch with Callie on his knee. Even in my upset state, I noticed Mia tending the bar, and her hurt look was too much for me to take.

“Get a clue, for fuck’s sake, Steel, and look at what is right in front of you,” I screamed the words, but my eyes were on Booth. He had followed me and was standing on the other side of the couch Steel was on. He was panting, his eyes wild.

“Um, Stella, are you okay?” Steel asked, but as far as I was concerned, there were only two people in the room.

“I fucking know what is in front of me, for fuck’s sake. Let me explain,” Booth yelled. Desperation coloured his tone.

“She was talking to me, Pres.”

Booth cut a look at his VP that had the pretty boy shutting up quick.

“What you heard wasn’t what you think, Honey.”

I snorted. Yeah, right. “Really? Tell me, Pres, what did I just hear?” I saw him flinch when I called him by his club title. Good. I was sick of being the one hurt in this relationship, or whatever the blazes it was. Over was one word that came to my mind. I would not share him with anyone—President of the club or not. I had some self-respect. Vegas and Rainn were able to share their men, and good luck to them, but just the thought made me want to vomit.

“Please, Honey, come to my room where we can talk in private,” he demanded softly, his eyes pleading. His grey eyes were my weakness, and I was close to giving him what he wanted. Something in me was telling me to run and not look back, but something deeper was telling me this man was my happily ever after, that I should listen to him first and then decide.

“Talk here. Right where you are. You tell me right now, or I’m out of here for good.” I hated the words even as I said them. But my heart was at its limit. He either fights for me or gives me the honesty I deserve, or I leave.

Booth’s eyes narrowed, but I didn’t care. I was holding on by a thread, and he had to be the one to fix it. His gaze lifted to his brothers, who had all gathered around us. None of them even bothered to look like they weren’t listening. So typical of these men. Always up in your business.

“Booth,” I prompted.

He was looking right through me like I wasn’t there. It was eerie, but I had seen him like this before when he didn’t think anyone was watching, and he got stuck in his memories. I waited for what felt like an eternity, which was probably only thirty seconds, but it was a heavy thirty seconds. Sighing, resigned, I shrugged my shoulders in defeat.

“That’s it then,” I said quietly. If he couldn’t tell me everything, then I didn’t want this. Our attraction had to be more than about sex. He had to be able to trust me. He demanded it, commanded it even. My heart hurt at the very thought of never seeing him again, but it needed to be both ways.

I could hear Charlotte, who had been at the bar with Mia, crying behind me. I would miss seeing my flock every day, but we would stay in touch, just not at the compound. He couldn’t dictate who I could be friends with. The whole club was watching, their sympathy for me evident in their eyes. I couldn’t look at Booth again, couldn’t see the lost look on his face, or see that he had given up on me.

“This is not the end, Stella. Jesus Christ, woman. Can’t you see how much I need you, how much I feel for you?” There was an ache in his voice that dug into my heart.

“No, Booth, I can’t. You only let me in just enough to satisfy yourself. But from me, you have demanded full disclosure. I trusted you with my deepest, darkest secret. A secret I kept to myself to protect you and your club. Isn’t that proof enough how I feel about you? Doesn’t that deserve some sort of reward? Aren’t I enough for you?” I was yelling now. This was a fight for something more than him opening up to me. This was a fight for my future, a future I wanted with Vincent Booth, but if he couldn’t fight right alongside me, then he wasn’t the man I believed him to be.

“Fuck, Stella, you are everything to me. I haven’t touched another woman in fucking years. You are the only woman I want. I know what you did, what you endured for me and the club, and it fucking kills me that you were brutalised like that,” he shouted.

“Then open up to me, goddamn it! Let me in. Trust me,” I screamed the last two words so loudly that I heard them echo around the room.

“I am fucking broken, all right! I fucking cry like a baby at night at the memories of my brother’s body in fucking pieces in my arms,” he bellowed, holding my eyes with his own. “How can I have something as beautiful and pure as you when I have failed so many people?” he asked as if he were desperate for the answer to his question. My strong, powerful man then shocked me silent as he dropped to his knees in front of his men, his team, his brothers. To his knees for me, his beautiful grey eyes filled with tears.

“I love you so much, Stella Hogan. You are the best part of my day. Your smile takes away all the hurt, your laughter lightens my heart. Your sweet voice fills me with so much happiness I don’t know what to do with it all.” His voice anguished, he breaks down, his words nearly my undoing.

My heart skipped a beat or a hundred. He loved me? He just said he loved me in front of our family. He would so not take that back, or I just might hurt him. But he couldn’t believe he didn’t deserve me. I wouldn’t let that happen. Chancing a glance to my side, I saw that the patched members of the club had gathered in one line. Their expressions had turned from interested to grim. There was no pity in their eyes, just quiet understanding and sadness. Despite our audience, I knew this had to happen for not only Booth but for all of them. It was time the strong men of this club started to heal.

Moving swiftly around the couch, I ignored the smirking Callie—the bitch really needed to find another hobby other than Steel.

Reaching Booth, I immediately fell to my knees right in front of him. My hands reached out and cupped his stubbled cheeks, and my heart broke at the look of sheer despair on his handsome face.

“Baby, you aren’t broken. You are the strongest man I know. Your leadership of this club, of these men, is your greatest achievement, but you can’t do it all on your own, Booth. It’s not weak to ask for help, and you need help, baby. You aren’t the only man in here who has problems with what happened over there. Lean on them, be each other’s strength, but I am here for you always. It will always be you, Booth. You are it for me, but I need you to be all in with me. No more secrets. I love you, baby, I love you so much.” I took a deep breath. I had not meant to say so much in front of the guys, but I was glad I did. Now maybe Booth could start the process of healing, and hopefully, the others would follow his lead.

Booth crashed his body into me, his arms banding tightly around me, pulling me deep into his chest. It was a bit awkward, but I didn’t care. My relief was immediate. His face buried in my neck, and I felt the wetness from his tears, his racking sobs breaking my heart. I just clung to him and combed my fingers through his soft hair, soothing him as he finally broke. So I did what came naturally to me. I sang. I sang my man ‘Lullaby for a Soldier,’ the perfect song for such a heart wrenching but healing occasion, and hoped he would find peace in himself and his dreams. He would always be in my arms, forever. I would never let him go.