Sophia
A loud banging pulls me from sleep. I don’t jump out of bed screaming the house is burning down because I can’t. I ache too bad all over. It feels like I’ve done an all-nighter on the Waltzer. My thighs hurt, my boobs ache, the delicate flesh at the tops of my thighs is almost crushed. It’s been a long night of the most enjoyable variety. I fell into an exhausted but contended sleep in the early hours of the morning. Which must have only been about five minutes ago.
"What’s going on?" I grumble, my eyes still fused shut.
"I’m coming, I’m coming," Blake calls, and I crank one eye open and offer him a sleepy smirk.
"Again? That’s not humanly possible, surely?"
His sleep creased face spreads into a lazy smile and he rolls over, crushing me under the weight of his arm as he slings it across my tummy and kisses my full tender lips. "It’s Mam. It must be time for church."
This gets my eyes open. "Church?"
"Yeah, it’s Sunday, we always go to Darren’s sermons."
I’ve spent the night locked in this man’s embrace, allowing him to explore every inch of skin I own, both externally and internally and yet I don’t know this.
"I can’t go to church, Blake."
He gives me another warm lipped sleepy kiss. "Why not, are you a non-believer? Perhaps we should have discussed this before."
I jab him in the ribs with my elbow making him chuckle. "No, I can’t go to church after last night. It’s going to be obvious you’ve practically destroyed me."
"Destroyed you? Don’t be so ridiculous." His smile creeps slowly. "That, my, Sophia was amazing and I don’t give a shit who knows."
A big stupid grin plasters itself across my face. "I’m going to walk into church like I’m saddle sore."
"Do you want me to get you one of the horses out to make it authentic?" He rolls from the bed and I cast a lingering glance in his direction. Naked, he’s beyond anything I ever imagined. I’ve seen Johnny naked, both on set and off, but he’s sculpted to appeal. Blake is raw power, and don’t my poor limbs know it, and let’s not mention the bruised sensitivity located in my vagina.
"You know full well I can’t ride a horse." I lob a pillow in his direction and he snatches it up, standing there butt naked as if we’ve always been this way together. I love it. It’s everything I thought it would be and more.
"Have you still not learned?" He’s referencing the terrible movie I stared in at fifteen where I had to ride a bloody horse. It was the worst filming experience of my life. Well, until I started on that bloody franchise with Johnny and Charlie. I sigh and stretch. I don’t have to think about that for a few more days at least.
Blake snatches his jeans from the floor and wriggles into them, hanging them low on his hips. "Come on, we can’t be late; it makes Darren cast pointed comments in our direction the whole service."
"So, you go to church every Sunday?"
"Yes, when I’m home. You seem kind of shocked?" He cocks his head to the side as he buttons his fly.
"I’ve never been to church." I figure he’d know this. He did live with me and tail my every move for five years.
"Not even when you were a child?"
I shake my head. I feel exposed, which is ridiculous considering he saw all of me the night before, in great detail. Sitting on the bed he lifts my hands, running his thumbs over my fingers. "Shall I tell you what church is like for me? Would that help?"
I nod.
"I go, I sit. It’s quiet and I think. Sometimes what Darren talks about means something, other times," here he flashes me a grin, "a lot of the time, it doesn’t mean anything, but that’s okay. It’s just space. Space to be. It’s whatever you want." He leans towards me, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. "But, it’s fine, you don’t have to come."
I practically leap from the bed, wincing as I go. "No way, your mum already thinks I’m trouble."
Blake chuckles. "She does not."
My eyebrows raise into my hairline. "I stole a bottle of vodka from the local shop."
Blake shakes his head. "You borrowed a bottle of vodka. You haven’t opened it and that’s what counts."
"That’s bollocks and you know it. Is there a place I can shower? I smell of sex and God knows what."
Blake winks. "Yes, God knows what, Sophia."
I place my hands on my hips. "Are you being serious?"
"Nope." He throws back his head and laughs. "But fuck you look sexy standing there naked like that. I’m suffering from an onslaught of impure thoughts."
I grin. We both grin. Two people just bloody grinning. "We both know you aren’t pure."
He grabs at his jumper, pulling it on. "I know. Let’s go listen to Darren prattle on and then I shall treat you to a Sunday roast at the pub."
"Another date." I fan myself down, uncaring I’m still stark naked in front of the man I’ve idolised since I was too young to know what idolisation meant. "What a lucky girl I am."
Blake points at a wooden door on the far wall. "Shower room." He waves me off. "I’ll go get some coffee."
Once I’m dressed—well once I’m dressed and have then run through the Henderson house back to the room I’ve been assigned by Mammy Henderson, and got redressed into something clean—I search out my phone.
I’m expecting messages from Johnny begging me to come back to filming.
There’s a message from Davies asking if I’ve had a chance to look at the A1 Entertainment script. I respond with a curt yes. The script hasn’t left a whole lot to be discussed.
I jump at the next message. Sarah.
Hey superstar, how’s being clean and mean? I’m in the big apple baby, give me a call.
New York? I cringe, catching myself pulling a hideous face in the mirror on the wall. Sarah in New York? That sounds dangerous. I press her number, only remembering the time difference when her sleepy voice answers. "This better be good, Superstar?"
"Sarah!" I screech. "Where the frick have you been?"
"Where have I been? You’re the one who's ditched Hollywood and evaporated." There’s a pause and the spark of a lighter. "National Enquirer have announced you’ve been abducted by aliens." Another pause fills with a dragging intake of air. "Have you been stolen by aliens? In which case are they hot and giving you a thorough probing?"
I giggle and palm my cheeks when they start to flush. "Very hot."
"What?" Sarah splutters and coughs. "Where are you exactly?"
"Wales, Sarah. It’s a long story, but Blake is back and we’ve come to Wales while I, uh, while I."
"You fell off the wagon, didn’t you?"
The flush deepens but for different reasons. "Yes, but only once."
"Let me guess, knobhead Fairweather had something to do with it?"
I blast laughter down the line and it feels so good. "It doesn’t matter now."
"And Blake, seriously moody, left your arse solo for no reason at all, Blake, is back and from the sounds of the blushing that’s shouting down the phone he’s giving you a good old stiff one."
"Sarah, you’re outrageous. Listen, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. I just needed to get away. When I came back from rehab everything was so, so..."
"Real? It’s harsh, isn’t it?" Her voice drops to a serious whisper.
"Yeah." My throat tightens when I remember just how harsh it has been. That party, the bloody trying to be on set. It was all harsh and brightly lit, an uncomfortable onslaught on my sensitive nerves.
"Why do you think most people relapse?"
"But you?" I ask. "You’re okay?"
"Never better, Doll, come and see me in New York; it’s bloody awesome."
"What are you doing there?"
"I’m auditioning for stage roles. You should give it a go, they’d love to have the mega star Sophia Jennings on Broadway."
I allow silence to lapse between us as I think about this. "Sarah, I don’t even think I can act anymore."
"Sure you can, Superstar, you’ve just got to find the right role." She drags another toke of her cigarette. At least I hope it’s a cigarette. "Listen, I’ve gotta get some sleep. I’m never going to get a role if I look like death at auditions."
"Sure, I’m sorry I called and woke you."
"Hey now, don’t be a stranger, call me whenever."
She clicks the call before I have a chance to say goodbye. That girl really does hate goodbyes.
"Who’s on the phone?" Blake causes me to start and I turn to find him leaning against the door.
"Sarah. She’s in New York of all places." I pat the bed for him to come in. His face is closed with wariness but I offer him a smile. "She’s giving Broadway a shot, thinks I should give it a go too."
Blake shrugs. "I doubt you’d have to scrounge the audition pool."
It’s my turn to lift my shoulders. "Maybe I should, maybe it’s time I worked hard for something."
He pulls on the ends of my hair. "You do work. Okay, you aren’t scanning cans in a supermarket every day for minimum wage, but you do work hard, give yourself some credit."
"I guess." There isn’t much else to say. My job doesn’t really feel like it deserves the title ‘work’. I’m just lucky. I got the lucky break at the right time. Others like Sarah, or that girl out for lunch with the slimy Steins, didn’t, it’s as simple as that. It comes down to one moment, one break, one decision. I swipe my hands down my smarter pair of jeans. "Are we going to church, or what?"
"Yep, come on the others are waiting."
It’s a simple walk through the village to the pale-stoned church. Most of the people from the pub the previous day are there and they all wave at me. I wave back and try my hardest not to walk with a limping wince. Blake sporadically sniggers which doesn’t help at all.
Shayne is leant against the worn bricks of the church, his arms folded across his wide chest. "Did you have a good evening, brother?" He calls to Blake, a dirty smirk transforming his almost handsome looks into a twisted mask.
"Fine thanks." Blake's face drops into his blank expression.
Shayne bursts a loud shout of laughter. "Thought so."
"That’s enough." Bernie faces up to her younger son. "Shayne, look at me."
He does, begrudgingly. Blake groans before Bernie even says a thing, but it doesn’t take me too long to work it out for myself.
"He’s high."
Blake drops his head onto my shoulder. "I should have known. Go. Sophia, just stay with Mam while I sort out what’s happening."
I root to the spot my hand holding onto Blake’s tight. "What’s going on?" I hiss.
Shayne begins to jeer, but I can’t make out what he’s saying, it’s just garbled nonsense. His eyes when they burn in my direction are black with hatred and I step towards the safety of Blake’s touch.
Turning I place my hands on his shoulders. "Should have known what?"
Blake’s expression twists into a tortured grimace and my stomach responds with a tightening of its own. "I need to go find out what he’s done."
I blink in confusion. "What do you mean, what he’s done?"
"Shayne. He’d sell his soul to the devil for a high." Blake’s eyes fall on me and his lips try to pull into a smile, try but fail. "Go with my mam okay and I’ll find you later."
"What, wait?" Panic prickles along my skin. What did he mean sell his soul?
He stalks away, his shoulders set but I drag him back, my fingers wrapping into the thick material of his jacket. "You’re leaving me to go to church by myself?"
A flash of a smile darts across his face, like the sun peeking from behind the clouds on an overcast day. "You won’t burst into flames." He chuckles and begins to walk away again. "I think."
"Just sweep me up and keep me on the mantelpiece if I do, okay?" I call after him. My eyes linger on his tall form, an uneasy pinch settling in my stomach.
I turn for Bernie who has appraising eyes cast in my direction. "Not a church goer, Sophia?" she asks.
I straighten my spine and lift my chin. "Not yet."
She holds her arm for me to grab. "Come on then, it’s Darren’s favourite subject today."
"Favourite subject?" I ask.
I jolt as another hand grabs my other arm from behind, but then sigh as Amanda swings right into my face. "Oh yes, Corinthians Thirteen. It’s a rip roarer."
She may as well be speaking Japanese.
"Okay, if you say so."
Amanda grins and leans into my ear. "Come on, it’s not that bad."
A flock of people follow us into the church. "Is it always this busy?" I murmur.
Amanda snickers and Bernie shoots her a reprimanding glare. "Nope. They aren’t here for salvation. They are here for you."
I peer at the packed pews settling behind us as we are right at the front on the Godly Geek Pew. It’s rammed, everyone out in their Sunday best.
Great.
Just bloody great.