Pressing my lips to Holly’s under the mistletoe, I moaned lightly. I wanted to delve my tongue into her mouth and taste her. I squeezed my hand along her jaw as she pulled me closer. Just before I opened my mouth to beg permission inside with my tongue, someone coughed and I remembered we had an audience.

I broke the kiss, and pulled away from Holly. Her eyes shot open, and they were a distinct shade of dark blue. Beautiful and mesmerizing, I realized I had been lost in the kiss and was thankful to whoever coughed.

Everyone sitting on the couch was silent, and I chuckled as I stepped away from Holly.

“Wow, you two are hot,” Amy said, fanning herself.

Holly giggled, and it was the first time I heard her make the sound. I’d heard her laugh but the way she giggled just then made my chest constrict.

I clapped my hands together as I moved to join everyone in the living room. “What are we up to?”

Holly excused herself and headed upstairs to the restroom. I watched as she made her way up the stairs, and saw how her ass filled out her jeans nicely. She really was hot. I brought my fingers to my lips as I remembered the way her lips felt against mine.

After playing a few games after dinner, it was time to head to bed. Holly had been skittish around me since our kiss, and I didn’t know what to say to her either. We walked up the stairs together and after we both finished our nightly ritual, she stepped closer to the bed.

Dressed in cute red night pants and a ratty white t-shirt she pulled the covers back. She wore the old slippers with the flower pattern and I chuckled to myself.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“I should have demanded you keep the slippers back at your place.”

“These are very comfortable.” She got into the bed, and I just stood there staring down at her. I didn’t want to sleep on the cold wooden floor, but wouldn’t make any move to share the bed with her, either. So I grabbed a pillow and the top blanket as I moved away.

“You can’t be serious?” She sat up in the bed, staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You will never get any sleep down there. Umm, you can sleep in the bed, just no touching. Stay on your side.”

I reached for my pillow and blanket off the floor as I made my way to the bed. Her eyes watched my movements as I pulled the covers back. In nothing but my boxers and a t-shirt, I removed the shirt.

Her eyes grew wide as she glanced down my body and stuck out her tongue to coat her plush, pink lips. We both lay on our backs, staring up to the ceiling. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything. The feel of her lips rushed back through my memory, and I let out a smooth breath.

“Holly?”

“Yes.”

I turned to face her, but she didn’t move. I propped myself on one elbow as I gazed down to her. The moonlight pouring in through the window cascaded over her tanned skin. I could still see the depth of her dark eyes which looked incredible from the light of the moon and I tried to push the feeling of kissing her again away.

“Thank you for coming, it means a lot to me,” I breathed.

“Sure.” She turned away from me to lie on her side, and I slammed back down onto my back. I tried to sleep as I listened to her steady breathing beside me.

Finally after tossing and turning for a while, sleep consumed me.

The next morning, I awoke with my arm wrapped around Holly. He body faced away from me, and I was nestled up behind her with my arm draped over her body. I didn’t want to move, but didn’t want her to wake up this way either.

So I jerked my hand away, and lay on my back. After two minutes of trying to calm my body down from lying so close to her, I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a shower. While in the shower I berated myself for allowing feelings to creep into my mind. It had to be the holidays. Having no real connection with a woman ever, I figured the holiday season was playing tricks on me.

After I exited the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed back into the room. Holly was no longer in the bed, or room for that matter. I got dressed in jeans and a fitted dark brown sweater, making my way downstairs.

The women were in the kitchen drinking coffee, while Dan sat with them reading the newspaper.

“Good morning,” I said to the ladies as I walked through the threshold of the kitchen. “Where’s Brandon?”

“He takes the baby every morning into the coops to pick eggs,” Abigail said.

I couldn’t make eye contact with Holly, but could feel her eyes on me. I was afraid to look at her, afraid she would ruin me with the magnetism her eyes held. So, I ignored her and headed out the backdoor and went in search for Brandon.

Shit, this girl was getting to me.

After sitting with Brandon and Skye for a while, Brandon asked if I wanted to head to the store for gifts. I still didn’t know enough about Holly to even think about what she would like as a gift.

“Can we go tomorrow? I still have no clue as to what to give Holly. Besides, there’s somewhere I really want to visit today. Will you go with me to mom’s grave?”

“Of course,” Brandon answered and I lifted my eyes to him and forced a smile.

Once we made our way back to the house, the women had made a mess in the kitchen. Holly was making pancakes while Amy and Abigail danced around her to the tune of Jingle Bells playing on the radio.

“Oh god, don’t tell me that Holly has turned the two of you onto her love of Christmas tunes,” I said, laughing.

For the first time since we kissed, Holly smiled to me and laughed. Her eyes narrowed and she stuck the spatula toward me. “Christmas music is all the rave.”

“What at the preschool?”

“Not everyone is as stuffy as you, some people enjoy Christmas music very much.”

“Whatever you say, kid,” I said.

Then the air shifted, the mood soured and all fell quiet in the kitchen of my youth. Brandon glanced at Abigail and whispered in her ear as he handed Skye off to her. I saw Abigail shake her head to him and Brandon turned to me. “Ready to go?”

My smile was quickly replaced with a frown and I nodded my head. I stepped closer to Holly and wrapped my arms around her.

“I’ll be back in a little bit, and then we can do whatever you want.” I was close to her ear; heart pounding and I begged the universe she wouldn’t ask me where we were headed. I knew I would crack if I told her, and didn’t want her pitying stares.

She stared into my eyes with an understanding, as if the universe had told her my request and smiled softly. “Okay.”

Without thinking, I kissed her cheek and as I pulled away from her- her eyes pierced mine. I had to get away from her. I had to talk to my mother.

Brandon and I piled into his big truck as he headed off down the road. We were both silent, and I felt we needed to do this together. We hadn’t been together at my mother’s grave site since her funeral. Things hadn’t always been easy with Brandon and I, and I wanted more than anything to change that.

As we pulled up to the graveyard, Brandon parked the truck and let out a breath. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” I stepped out of his truck and we walked over to her gravestone.

Brandon sat down and replaced the flowers with ones he had picked from the yard before we left. I sat down in the grass next to him and remembered my mother’s face. Her shining eyes and her love for everyone who she came into contact with. A cool breeze passed by us as Brandon kissed his hand and touched her headstone.

I closed my eyes as I didn’t want the tears I was fighting to escape. “I miss her so much,” I whispered.

“I just wish she could have met Skye,” Brandon breathed his southern accent thick with sadness.

Before I could think about the words, they were out of my mouth. “I wish she could have met Holly.”

Was I really wishing this?

Brandon and I sat for a while in silence as I thought of Holly. No one in a long time had made me laugh the way I have since we’d been here. Nor, has my heart beat as fast as when I see her.

I shook my head as I knew it was just the sadness and loneliness hitting me hard. I didn’t care for Holly, and as soon as Christmas passed, she’d be nothing but my neighbor again.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah.”

“I have to confess something to you.” I wanted to tell him the truth about Holly. I didn’t want to be this person I was anymore. A person who works all hours of the day, then rushes home to get wasted every night on whiskey. I was depressed, and I needed help.

“Okay, go on.” Brandon turned to face me as I took a deep breath.

“I’m very jealous of everything you have. I want it.” I couldn’t believe my own ears. What was I saying? I didn’t want kids, or a wife. But, seeing how happy Brandon was, I wanted to be happy like him.

“Kevin, you’ll get there. Holly’s great, and seeing the way you stared at her this morning, I can tell you she’s different. You and Vivian never had that. I saw the way you kissed Holly, there’s a real passion there.”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

We turned to my mother’s tombstone and both said our goodbyes, and prepared to head back home.