It’s been a tough week. I took a few days off of work to help my mom and Clyde find a new rhythm now that he’s in treatment. Also, MacBride took his retirement and the new captain started on the job. I haven’t talked to Angie very much. I text her everyday and when I’m lucky, she texts me back but I’ve been doing my best to give her space to deal with the news I dropped on her.

But this has gone on long enough. I miss her. It’s time we talked about things. And my body’s been craving her. Tonight, I need her. I want her naked in my lap, twisting and grinding as I kiss a path up her torso. I want to fuck her. Make her come. Get lost in her so we can forget all the shit that life is trying to throw in our way. I want to feel connected to my Gigi tonight.

Late in the afternoon, I swing by the hospital to see if she has the night off.

“Hi Lieutenant Riggs.” Nina cocks one hip out and gives me a seductive smile as I approach.

“Dr. Yamazuki. Good to see you,” I respond somberly.

“Likewise.” She waggles her brows shamelessly. And then sneezes.

At the sound of my voice, Angie looks up from the nurse’s station where she’s slouched over filling out paperwork. “What are you doing here?” She stands upright and straightens her clothes. Her body language is guarded, almost protective. “Are you here with your mom and Clive?” She throws a wary glance around the seating area for my family.

Still, I smile and act like I’m not freaking out internally as I try to figure out what she’s thinking. “I’ve got the night off and I thought I’d stop in and see if you’re free.”

She kind of flinches. “Oh…uh, I’ve, uh. I can’t. Not tonight. Sorry, I have plans.”

“You sure?” I grin slyly as I pull a DVD case out of the inside pocket of my jacket. “I’ve got something I know you want…”

She hikes a brow. “What?”

“Footage of the glory years—Mild Implosion in concert. Everything from bat mitzvahs to that performance we did at the winter formal in senior year to my serenade at your 17^th birthday party…”

“Oh my god, don’t tease me.” Clutching the stack of papers to her chest, she laughs.

It’s so good to see her laugh…even though her expression shutters again within seconds.

“I’m not trying to tease you. I’m trying to lure you into my cave.” I just want to see her laugh again. I want her next to me in my bed.

Still, she refuses. She brushes her bangs from her face. “Tonight’s not a good night.”

There’s uneasiness in my chest. Is she really done with us? Won’t she give me a chance? Can’t we talk about it? “Okay then, I guess. See ya.”

Her tone is painfully aloof. “See ya.”

I turn to leave. I only make it a few feet before I turn back to her. “Do you have a few minutes, though? Can we talk?”

She throws a hesitant look at her supervisor. Nina makes a not-subtle-at-all head gesture toward an empty room across the hall. “Sure,” Angie concedes with a hefty exhale and I follow her into the room.

“I just want to check in on you,” I say when the door closes. “See how you feel since we last spoke.”

She leans against the wall and laughs bitterly. “I don’t feel all that great, honestly. Knowing that you lied to me about why we broke up and you’ve been keeping this secret—with my dad, no less—for all these years.”

“I’m so sorry, Angie.”

Her eyes roll into her head. “You apologize a hell of a lot,” she says cryptically.

“Because I am. I regret my decisions so much. There are no fucking words.” I shovel my fingers through my hair and pull.

“I loved you so much. My little 17-year-old heart could hardly stand it. And you dumped me because my dad disapproved of you?"

I flinch as I finally begin to understand her reasoning. She’s all wrong. "It was never your dad I was concerned about, Gigi. It was you. I didn't want you to look at me and think that I was the scum of the earth, that you were wrong for falling in love with me. I didn’t want you to regret us. I was a drug dealer and you…you were a queen."

“Wow, you really don’t know me. I’m not upset that you found yourself dealing drugs…Your father was dead. Your family was crumbling. You did what you had to do. I could have loved you through that. What pisses me off is that you made a decision about my life without ever once thinking to consult me. You let me believe that I wasn’t enough to compete with the glitz and glamor of being a boy band superstar. That crushed my self-esteem. It made me into a person that I could hardly look at in the mirror…I was only 17…”

I fling my arms in the air and roar in frustration. “So was I!”

“Do you realize how many years we lost, Ben? We could have been together that whole time. Instead, we were apart and both suffering because you didn’t think you could talk to me—”

The door bursts open and Dr. Elliot comes swaggering in. Worst timing ever. He eyes me with a cocked brow. I just want to smack him. “Hello Lieutenant.”

I respond with a grunt.

He shrugs and turns his focus on Angie. “You excited for tonight, Gallo?”

My heart drops off into my gut. She gives him a tight smile. “Of course, sir. Very excited.”

I hate the way his gaze rolls over her body. “Can’t wait.” He halts halfway to the door. “It might be a good idea to wear some high heels.” He winks at her.

Before I can grab him by the collar and ram his head through the nearest wall, he strolls out of the room.

I turn to Angie. I’m livid. What the fuck is going on? “Tonight? With him?”

She shakes her head like the whole thing is unimportant. “Yeah, we’re going to New York for a few days, actually. To present our research findings to a group of rich guys who might be interested in funding the thing.”

Suddenly, I have a pounding headache. “Just you and him. In New York.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Ben.” She groans and rotates her shoulders, looking weary. “We’re just going for work.” She pads over to me and places both hands on my shoulders. “Look—the break will be good for me. When I get back, I’ll deal with you. And my father.” She kisses me gently on the cheek. “Please understand. I just need…” She shakes her head, flustered.

“…Time?” I supply weakly.

Right then, her pager beeps and she looks down. “Ah, shoot! I’ve gotta go. There’s this geriatric beauty queen on the third floor. She keeps trying to apply the ultrasound gel as a facial moisturizer.” Without a second look in my direction, she skids out of the room and straight through the elevator doors as they’re about to slide shut.

My mind is reeling. I need to understand what’s happening. I stomp out of the room, frustrated as hell.

Just then, two nurses walk past me and wander up to the reception desk.

Judy? Jasper? Jakarta? Right, Jules!

Jules and a friend. She doesn’t even notice me. She’s so completely immersed in gossip with her friend.

“…I warned you about having sex with Dr. Elliot,” her friend tells her. “There are all kinds of rumors going around the hospital about him.”

Jules is almost in tears. “I thought things would be different with us. He was really into me…Until he started working one-on-one with that new intern.”

“Who? Angie? She’s nice.” The other nurse puts a suspicious accent on the word.

Jules laughs sarcastically. “I was ‘nice’, too, when I was getting pounded daily by Dr. Hot Stuff Elliot.”

The other nurse joins in the laughter. “What are you whining about? I thought you said he was bad in bed.”

She gives her friend a pointed look. “Y'know what kind of sex is worse than bad sex?"

"What kind?" the friend asks, sounding intrigued.

"No sex!"

“Touché.” The woman laughs again.

The sound is like a kick to my gut. I have to walk away. I’m too stunned, too angry, too jealous at the idea of Angie with that womanizing doctor. I can’t bare the idea that we could be over for good.

With my insides in knots, I trudge out the hospital’s doors.