Chapter 16 - Michael
Finally, my life felt in balance. I had established some priorities, and the more responsibility I took, the better I felt about everything around me.
I made a visit to the coach's office after practice.
"Sir?"
"Michael. Good to see you. What can I do for you?" Coach Silman was a good guy, although very, very focused on his sport.
"Need to talk, sir."
"Sit down, Michael. What is it?"
"Sir, I've been going through a bit of self-discovery lately, and I realized that I need to change some focus in my life. Sir, this will be my last season. I'm letting you know so you can get my replacement ready."
"What? Michael, where the hell did this come from?" He was angry.
"I know you're upset sir, and I know you've made decisions based on having me on the field. But sir, pro football isn't even on my horizon. I'm going to study law, sir, and that's no small undertaking. I've also got some personal responsibilities I need to look after, and if I keep it all going, one thing or another is going to suffer. I don't want it to be the team."
"I see," he said, sitting back in his chair, his hands clasped while twirling his thumbs. "You've given this enough thought?"
"Yes, sir. I have. I think I've realized it for some time, but I felt pressure from home to continue on this path. The thing is, it's just not right for me, sir."
"Michael, ordinarily I'd be kicking your ass a hundred yards down that field. You're right; I've made decisions and plans based on you being in the quarterback position. I won't lie - you're fucking them up, and you're letting down some teammates who might not get to a bowl because you're not on the team. However... in your case, I'm going to back off. I respect your personal insight, and I appreciate the fact that you've come to me now, while I still have a chance to prepare for next season. After all, you could get sidelined with an injury and I'd be in the same spot. The real reason, son, is that I know there's much more in your future than football. Hell, you'd be wasted there. You sure as hell don't need the money, and your mind is something that doesn't need shoulder pads or ice baths to maintain. I want to shake your hand like a man. There's not many who would have the guts to come in here and quit while they're on top."
He extended his hand and I shook it. "Thank you for understanding, sir. It's been a pleasure and an honor to be on your team."
I learned a lot about integrity that day - something that I'd never learned from my dad. I think Callie was beginning to rub off on me. She'd understood integrity from the day I'd met her.
I knew it was coming. My cell vibrated, and Dad's name was on the caller ID. "Hello, Dad," I answered.
"What the fuck are you doin', boy?" He was livid, and without even being there I knew his face was crimson and his free hand balled in a fist. He rarely got interested in anything enough to become irate, but living vicariously through me on the football field was high on his list - if not at the top. "Coach tells me you're a quitter?"
"I was about to call you, Dad," I said. Okay, so I lied. I knew I wouldn't have to; Coach was on the phone to Dad the minute I left his office. "Football has been good to me, but I've had enough. I need to focus on the studies that I'll need for my life."
"What the fuck you talkin' about? Are you doin' drugs or somethin', boy? That walkin' out on me at the Galt House... well, I don't ever want you tryin' that stunt again, do you hear me?"
"Sir, I understand. You're right; that was disrespectful. But sir, I'd rather walk out than become angry and say something I'd regret."
That took a bit of the wind out of his sails, I could tell. "Michael, what's going on?" he asked a bit more quietly. "Is it a girl? Are you doin' drugs? Drinkin'?"
"No sir, and frankly, I thought you knew me better than that. It's about taking responsibility for my future. My life isn't going to be a game, Dad. It's going to be about life and death and making a difference in peoples' lives."
"Don't start up with that shit again. What's got into you?"
I waited a few moments before responding. "Dad, you're a strong personality, and I've always respected you. I'm not like you, sir, and never will be. You're not bad and neither am I; we're just different. What makes you feel a sense of accomplishment isn't the same for me. Most people measure success by the amount of money they've earned. I don't have that need, obviously, so I measure my accomplishments by the pleasure and pride I feel at the end of the day. I know this might not sound right to you as of this moment, but I think once you calm down, you'll understand what I'm saying. At least I hope so, sir."
I heard him expel a loud breath. "Michael, I've given you everything you needed all your life. I guess if you're set on this foolishness, you're gonna have to figure it out on your own. I'll leave you alone now, but I'm always your dad."
"Sir, that is probably the most generous and thoughtful thing you've ever said to me. Thank you."
We both hung up without another word, and I felt an enormous sense of peace come over me.
Before I set the phone down, it began to vibrate again. It was Callie.
"Hello, lassie."
"Michael! Michael! You won't believe what happened! There's this man near Shelbyville... he's from Florida, I think. Anyway, he's not from around here. He's got a small farm with only a few horses, but he's always back and forth between here and his other house and he wants someone to live on the place and see to things. I went over and saw him, and Michael, there's even a house included! Oh, my God... just when I thought we were done for, this comes through! How can I thank you enough for putting the word out?"
It made me hard just to hear the happiness in her voice. I chuckled at her delight. "Well, well, the lassie has found her home. I'm so glad to hear that, and so proud of you, Callie. You're a fighter and probably the strongest woman I know."
"Thank you for saying that, Michael. It means a lot. Well, I've got to go. I've got packing to do, and I need to run by the hospital. Hopefully Dad will be up to hearing all about it. I know it will take a lot off his mind and maybe make him heal faster."
"Good point. Do you need help packing?"
"Well... actually... do you have time?"
"I just happen to have an opening in my schedule. If you'll let me bring the pizza?"
She laughed. "I'm brewing a pitcher of sweet tea starting right now. I'll be back from the hospital in about an hour and a half. I already went and got boxes. Oh, Michael, this is so exciting!"
"I'm happy for you, lassie. I truly am. See you soon!"