Chapter Twelve
“If you say yippee-ki-yay one more time, I’m going to hurt you,” I snapped as I typed in the code to the employee’s entrance.
A tentacle grew out of Wyatt Earp’s ear. The nasty thing stroked my face. “Go ahead. Try.”
Hothar groaned.
“Okay. I’m always up for a challenge.” I dropped my shields, spun around and hit him with my telekinetic shock wave.
Adan flew across the parking lot and crashed into an old Ford truck; caving the side in. Burning yellow eyes surveyed me for a long moment. Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore!
“I take it, I’m not on the dinner menu?”
“You are not,” Hothar said, his relief obvious.
Wyatt strolled over to us. “Nicely done, little human. You must carry the Berserker gene.”
“Nope, it’s called PMS, but the results are the same.”
A hint of alarm in his voice, Hothar asked, “How do I deal with this PMS?”
“Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.” I stepped inside the building. The backstage area included a small breakroom, lockers, showers and changing rooms. “We have thirty buildings to search and I’m sure Mary Beth will try to blend in with the tourists or workers.”
“She cannot hide from me, I have tasted her flesh,” Adan announced.
“Say what?”
Hothar seemed equally taken aback. “You ate part of her?”
“Only an ear before the female activated the logic gate, but the sensory cells on my tongue are capable of sensing her up to two hundred feet away.”
“Imagine that, our own alien bloodhound.”
“Yippee-ki-yay. Yippee-ki-yay.”
I glared at Adan. “Enough already.”
“Where is my costume? Hothar hurriedly inserted.
“Wild Bill Hickok can’t walk around covered in slime. It spoils the image.” I pointed at the door with a cowboy riding a bucking bronco on it. “That’s the men’s shower.”
Hothar’s black brows knitted together. “I will not leave you alone until all the Earth First soldiers have been eliminated.”
“I haven’t sensed any threats, have you?”
“That does not mean they are not here,” Hothar disputed.
Adan interjected, “I will watch over Casey while she showers.”
“No!” Hothar bellowed.
“Thanks for the offer, but that won’t be necessary,” I stated firmly. “If there is a problem, you can be at my side within ten seconds.” I opened my locker and took out the Annie Oakley outfit I always kept here. “The door on the right is the wardrobe room. While Hothar cleans up, you can look for a Wild Bill Hickok costume in his size. You’ll find the gunslinger gear on the back wall.”
Adan bowed. “As my lady commands.” He danced off.
I was going to have a long talk with Aunt Tess.
“I will not leave you unguarded,” Hothar insisted.
“And I don’t want to end up cleaning rat poop out of tunnels. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.” I shooed Hothar. “Now go.”
“Yes, my lady.” He stomped off.
I quickly showered off the slime, changed and braided my wet hair into pigtails. My outfit included a short buckskin dress, boots and a brown cowgirl hat. I strapped on my six-shooters and glanced in the mirror. God, I looked like death warmed over.
“None of the costumes will fit Hothar. He is too big,” Adan advised mentally.
“I’ll be right there.” I hurried into the wardrobe room and my jaw dropped. Hothar was buck-ass naked. His torso was sculptured perfection. Thick muscles corded his arms and massive thighs. My gaze froze on the slit in his abdomen. The vids Kaylee sent me were very accurate. No balls or pubic hair. But dang it, no sign of his penis either.
Desire blossomed in Hothar’s eyes and out slid his snakelike penis. A frill of inch long, copper-colored tentacles undulated around the head. “Like what you see?”
Heat coiled in my belly. “Hoo boy. You got my attention and then some.”
“And this?” Hothar’s voice was a low, husky growl.
It was like the tentacles were stroking my clit. I sucked in a shuddering breath. The sensation was unbelievably hot. An aching need roared to life. “Oh, God.”
“Like that, do you?” Hothar purred in satisfaction.
Psychic sex rocked. “Yes. All I want is you. Now and forever.”
“Forever,” Hothar echoed. Dozens of phantom hands suddenly caressed every inch of my body, sending quivers of heat streaking through me. A mouth closed over each breast and suckled them until I thought my senses would implode. The tentacles thrust deep inside me and vibrated wildly. My eyes rolled back in my head. God almighty. Now I knew why all my cousins walked around with big smiles on their faces. Another pulse, and a vortex of pleasure exploded inside me. Whooee! I collapsed against the wall and sucked in a shuddering breath.
“What are you doing?” Zarek’s furious voice reverberated around my skull.
Bliss turned into horror. “Ah. Talking.”
“I take full responsibility, my lord,” Hothar interjected.
Adan added, “Hothar removed his clothing to shower and find a suitable disguise. We do not wish to frighten the humans during our hunt for Mary Beth Dunson.”
“General Jones and his warriors will arrive shortly to assist in the search. If I catch the two of you “talking” again, poop scooping will be the least of your worries. Do you understand me Hothar?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Put your battle suit back on and find a costume that will cover it,” Zarek instructed.
“Yes, my lord.” Hothar scrambled into his suit and started strapping on his weapons.
Huh? Did all warriors go commando? I’d have to ask Kaylee or Zoey.
Zarek’s exasperated sigh echoed in my head. “Your hormones are overwhelming your good sense.”
What could I say? He was right. For some odd reason my PMS was making me incredibly horny. “Look on the bright side. In another ten days, I’ll be back to normal. Well, until the curse hits again next month.”
“I will see if Shrek has a solution,” Zarek stated.
“Okey-dokey.”
Zarek turned his irritation on Adan. “In the future Adan, you will notify me of your plans. Immediately.”
“I do not answer to you,” Adan retorted.
“Perhaps you would like to speak with Detja?” The menacing note in Zarek’s voice gave me the willies.
“That is not necessary. I will comply with your wishes,” Adan said quickly.
“Good.”
I sagged in relief when the Overlord vanished from our minds. “Zarek’s right. It’s like we’re in heat. The only thing on my mind is sex. Lots and lots of sex.”
“Our future will be filled with dung duty,” Hothar lamented.
Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! “Humanoids are very entertaining.”
“I’m glad you find us so amusing,” I snapped.
The image of two rabbitlike creatures humping flashed across my mind. “Your mating drive is much like the Petkas.”
“Gee, thanks.” I punched Hothar in the arm. “You promised no more sex in public.”
“No, I promised not to feed in public,” Hothar contradicted.
I threw up my hands in disgust. “I’m mated to an exhibitionist.”
“You enflame my senses. You are my heart, my soul, my life. You call to me like no other. I need your touch to live.”
“Ahhh. I love you too Hot Lips.” I gave him a big smooch with no tongue. “Now let’s get you a disguise before that murdering bitch gets away and Zarek locks us up in the tunnels for the next hundred years.”
“Why do you insist on calling me Hot Lips?”
“Because your lips are smoking hot like the rest of you.” I handed him a monk’s robe. “Try this on.”
A pleased smile on his face, Hothar pulled the robe on.
It hit him mid-thigh. Crap. Then I remember the guy who played Black Bart. He was the size of a small mountain and the script called for him to dress up as a nun to rob the bank. The shootout between the nun and the marshal had been a big hit with the tourists. I found the habit and gave it to Hothar. “This should work.”
It fit. I smothered a laugh at the disgruntled expression on Hothar’s face.
Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! “He makes a very large and ugly female.”
I gave Adan the evil eye. “You’re not helping.”
“He is correct. This is not a fitting disguise for a warrior,” Hothar growled.
“Suck it up, big guy. It’s all we’ve got. Just remember to keep your head down and don’t fang anyone.” I turned to Adan. “Do your bloodhound thing.”
“As you command.” A long black tongue protruded from Adan’s human mouth and flicked this way and that. “She is seventy feet to the west.” Moving inhumanly fast, he rushed out of the building.
“Hey! Wait for us.” We ran after him.