Mason
Claire was on board with my plan. I had a feeling she would be. I was surprised she didn’t try to pry for details about Avery and me, but I guess chicks only really do that to each other.
I have almost everything figured out—I thought a Thursday night date would work better for her than a weekend. Max will be covered, and it’s easier to get Avery out of work. I haven’t talked to Ray again—not since I told him I took care of Adam.
Ben’s pissed that I’m late. He keeps texting me, wanting to know when I’ll make it to rehearsals. He’s like a jealous girlfriend when my time is focused anywhere other than on him.
I figure I’m already on his shit list, so what’s a few more minutes. I can see there are kids on the playground at Max’s school, and I just feel this pull—like I need to check on him. I cruise by at about five miles per hour, rounding the corner slowly. I’m sure I look like a predator, and I notice at least one of the teachers following my car with her eyes.
I’d speed up and keep driving, except I don’t see Max. Maybe it’s not his grade or something, but I swear these kids look like Max’s age. My chest starts to constrict. My head starts to go to dark places—like Max ran away and nobody noticed, or he’s in trouble…or he’s being pinned down in a bathroom by some asshole kid. I was that asshole kid.
I’m in the parking lot suddenly, like my steering wheel went on autopilot, and seconds later I’m jogging through the lot to the playground gate. I have to find him, I have to find him.
“Can I help you?” an older woman says, clearly sent to stop me from entering.
“Hi, I’m sorry. I’m…Max Abbot’s uncle,” I lie through my teeth. “I just promised his mom I’d swing by to check on him, since I was in the area.”
“Oh, well, normally you need to check in with the office to be on school grounds,” she says, her hand still blocking my way through the gate. I’m honestly thinking about just shoving her out of my way, but I know that probably wouldn’t go over well.
“Right. Right. I really don’t need to talk to him or anything, I was just making sure he was doing well at recess, and…look, I sort of panicked when I didn’t see him. Can you just tell me where he is?” I ask, and her guard drops a little. She smiles softly and nods. She must understand Max’s issues. Either that, or my charm now works on the over-sixty crowd. Whatever it is, she’s motioning for me to follow her onto the basketball court, so I do.
“He’s in there,” she points over to the giant concrete pipe off in the far corner of the playground. I remember that pipe—we used to call it the tunnel of love when I was in sixth grade. I kissed Mindy Howard in that tunnel. But something tells me that’s not what Max is in there for. I squint; I can see his feet propped up on the sidewall and his hands over his ears; he’s sitting perfectly still.
“Does he go in there often?” I ask, my heart sinking.
“He spends every recess in there. His teacher, Mrs. Bailey, will sometimes try to coax him out, but…you know Max. He seems content to just sit in there,” she says, staring at the same lonely boy I am.
“Is that Mrs. Bailey?” I ask, pointing to a woman near the tunnel.
“That’s her. Come on, I’ll introduce you,” she urges me to follow, and I do. I’m going to be really late for rehearsal, and Ben is going to shit over it, but I don’t care. I have to do something here.
“Mrs. Bailey? This is Max’s uncle…I’m sorry, what was your name?” she says, and I reach out my hand to shake Mrs. Bailey’s hand.
“Mason. I’m Mason,” I say, and she grabs my hand and smiles, clearly on to me. She seems like she’s going to play along though, so I ride out the lie.
“Hi, Mason. I didn’t know Max had an uncle,” she smirks when the older woman walks away.
“He doesn’t,” I respond with a shrug.
“I didn’t think so,” she laughs a little. “Are you friends with Avery?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, looking at the blue and white shoes now poking out of the end of the tunnel. “He’s in there…every day, huh?”
“Uh huh. Every recess. It’s still early, and he’ll find his way. School is hard, Mason. And for a kid like Max, everything is just a little harder,” she looks at me sympathetically.
“Does he have any…friends?” I ask, remembering the homework assignment from last night.
“Like I said, we’re working on it…it’s early yet. That’s one of his goals. He just needs to learn how to be with other kids right now,” she says, looking back over at Max. Every so often, his feet reposition, but his hands stay cupped on his ears. I think his eyes may even be closed. I just want to run over and give the kid his iPad, something to do, but I know that wouldn’t help this situation. It would only give him an out, a reason to recluse himself even more.
“Do you think…maybe I could visit your classroom for a few minutes sometime? I’m a musician, and Max has learned some things about music. Maybe, like, a show-and-tell? Just to help him break the ice,” I ask, my voice inside warning me I should probably bring Avery into something like this. But I’ve already made myself a relative, what’s crossing one more line?
“I think that might be nice,” she says, her smile bigger now.
“Okay, maybe tomorrow?” I say, not wanting to see Max’s feet in that tunnel for one more day.
“I’ll make some time in the morning, before recess. At nine?” she says, opening up the notebook in her arms and jotting down a reminder.
“I’ll be here,” I say, making my own mental note to get Avery…and Max…up to speed on my plan. “Thank you.”
I shake her hand goodbye and head back to my car, pulling my phone from my pocket to deal with the dozen or so angry texts from Ben.
What the hell? Where are you?
I write Ben back quickly before turning on my engine.
Relax, man. I’m on my way. Be there in 5.
I have to speed a little to get to his house in just under 10 minutes, and he’s pacing in the driveway, smoking, when I pull up.
“Fuck, man? Where’s your head at?” he says, throwing his cigarette on the ground and stomping it out.
Ben’s house is a lot like his life—the paint is chipping off the front door, and there are sheets tacked to the walls over the windows. It’s like a cave inside it’s so dark. It’s a small house on the not-so-nice end of town, and I’d rather move back in with my mom than live here. But he was anxious to get out of his house, and the rent here was cheap, so he jumped on it. He’s kept his lease during the tour, though he always talks about how when we hit it big, he’s going to buy one of the fancy mountain homes on the other side of the hill.
“My head’s right here,” I say, not really in the mood to get into it with him. He has some beef with me being with Avery. I don’t know what it is, but I know enough to know it’s probably petty and stupid.
“Better be,” he mutters under his breath. A couple months ago, that would have been enough to send my fist into his face, but I just find it ridiculous now. That’s how the last year of touring was. Matt and Josh spent most of the shows so drunk they barely remembered how to play our songs, and Ben got high, drunk, and belligerent. I’m starting to think time apart wasn’t such a bad thing.
I pull out my guitar and take my spot on the stool; Josh sits up from the lounger, ready to go. “I was thinking we could start out the hour with some cool covers. You know, like shit we always wanted to try?” I say, looking at Ben, hoping this might just inspire him a little.
“We used to do some Stones,” Ben says, taking his spot behind the drums and giving it a little kick. “Oh, and you know what might be cool? What if we did some Johnny Cash?”
My friend actually looks alive, and for the first time in months, I see a hint of him again.
Avery’s already been at work for a few hours when I roll in. It’s funny how nervous I get before seeing her. I actually changed my shirt in the car because my other one reeked of Ben’s smoke, and I didn’t want her to not want to be close to me.
I pick a spot in the corner, far away from everyone else, because I want to watch her, and when her eyes catch mine the first time as she passes through the kitchen door, my heart actually beats twice as fast. Her lips pull up into the quickest smile, and she keeps looking back to me, to make sure I’m watching her. And I am—I plan on watching her until I follow her home and beg her to sleep in my bed again. Ray hasn’t killed me yet!
“Well, if it isn’t my only child,” my mom says, sliding into the booth next to me and patting my leg. “You and the boys playing this weekend?”
As crazy as my mother makes me, I do love her. She wasn’t typical, and she’s selfish as hell—but I’d probably beat the shit out of anyone else that talked bad about her. And I still don’t believe any of her boyfriends have deserved her.
“We’re playin’ Friday. You working?” I ask.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she winks, leaning into me.
We’re quiet at the table together for a few minutes, just watching people walk in and out of the restaurant. There’s a certain tension to our silence—an awkwardness that started when I was a teenager, and our relationship changed. I don’t know what set it off, but I quit being her little boy, and I think maybe not needing her made her resent me a little. It sounds stupid, even now in my own head, but we both started pulling away from one another at the same time. And I think she’s always regretted it. Hell, maybe I have too. I can tell my mother wants to talk now, but she can’t seem to speak.
“I uh…I finally kissed Avery,” I say, biting my lip and looking at her sideways. My mom is a romantic at heart, so I know telling her this will make her smile—and for some reason, I feel like she needs to smile.
“I heard! Sorry I missed that little speech you made. Claire told me all about it,” she smiles, and my mom actually looks proud of me. “You know, I always wanted you to give that girl a chance.”
“Sure you did,” I say, rolling my eyes. My mom always prided herself on being some great matchmaker—for everyone other than herself.
“Roll your eyes at me all you want, Mason, but I always thought Avery would be good for you. She’s grounded,” she says, her eyes looking out over the growing crowd, and her face a little more serious than I’m used to. “You’ve got a lot of me in you. We’re dreamers. And that’s…that’s a good thing. But sometimes you need to remember about the important things here on the ground. Not just all that tempting stuff that’s up in the clouds.”
The heaviness of my mom’s words makes me swallow hard. I don’t think she’s ever said anything so deep in her entire life, and I don’t know how to react to it, so I just nod and smile.
“So, it’s your birthday next week,” she says, quickly changing the subject, just as uncomfortable as I am. Shit, I forgot. I’ll be twenty-six. I wonder when Avery’s birthday is? Suddenly there are a ton of things I realize I don’t know about Avery—that’s definitely going into the big date plan. “How about the two of you come over for dinner? I’ll make my sauce. You still like pasta, right?”
“That’d be nice, ma. We’ll be there,” I say, somehow feeling like this dinner is more for my mother than my birthday.
“Good. It’s settled then. I’ll see you two at six,” she says, standing and straightening out her apron and blouse, making sure she looks her best. My mom is always put together—sometimes a little over-the-top, but she’s put together. She’s always been the biggest tip earner at Dusty’s—partly because she flirts with the fat wallets, and partly because, despite her flaws, my mom is a damn hard worker…when she needs to be.
She gives me one last smile, and heads over to greet the newest tables of customers. I don’t know why, but the smile on her face when she walks away makes me sad.
I must be frowning, because Avery is looking at me from across the bar, and she mouths, “Are you all right?” I just nod and over exaggerate my smile to compensate. I’m actually better than I’ve ever been.
The night speeds by. Wednesdays are good dinner crowds—a lot of families come in. I used to like the middle of the week when I came in here with my mom. Ray was never busy, and that’s when he’d spend time letting me mess with his guitar. I can tell Ray is still avoiding me a little, which makes me…uneasy. I love that man, but damn, I’m pretty sure I love his daughter too, and if he told me I couldn’t be with her, I’m not sure what I would do.
Avery heads to the back and holds up a finger, letting me know she’ll only be another minute, so I walk over and sit at the corner of the bar to wait for her. Ray comes out just then with a couple of books to take some inventory; I can tell he stutter steps, not sure if he wants to hang out so close to me.
“Hey, Ray. So we’ve got a good set ready for Friday night,” I say, wanting to break the damned cold ice building up between the two of us. Ray smiles and grunts—he’s not sure what to do with me.
I might be taking my life into my own hands, but I stand up at the bar and head over to where Ray’s sitting, rubbing the sweat from my palms along my jeans before sticking my hand out for him to shake. It takes him a few seconds to notice, and when he does, he laughs a little under his breath.
“I didn’t really do this right, and I’m sorry,” I say. He raises one of his graying eyebrows at me, pulling his lip in tightly. “I probably should have asked for your blessing, or something like that. But I really like her, Ray. It’s more than like. ”
He looks at my eyes and then to my hand, chewing at his cheek, considering, before finally gripping my hand, cupping it with his other hand. When he looks back up at me, he’s a little teary eyed—it’s barely there, but I notice.
When Avery walks out, she sees us shaking hands, and she stops—she doesn’t want to interrupt, so instead she waits for my cue. “I’ll see you at the house. I’m gonna head out, as soon as Avery’s done,” I say, and Ray pats my hand once more and stands with his books, nodding. Avery starts to make noise and walks out of the kitchen just then.
“Hey, Dad. I’m heading home. Need anything?” she asks, her eyes locked on mine.
“No, I’m fine baby girl. It’s inventory night, so I’ll be late. You go on,” he says, not quite looking her squarely in the face, probably because he doesn’t want her to see how emotional he is.
Ray heads through the kitchen, back to his office, and Avery leans against the bar, looking at me with her lips curled into a faint smirk.
“What’s that look for?” I ask, reaching out my hand, which she grabs. It feels so damn good, and natural, like it’s how it’s always been.
“You’re good to my dad. That’s all,” she says, leaning into me as we head through the front door and out into the empty parking lot. “I like that.”
“Yeah, well, I like you,” I say, putting my arm completely around her, and drawing her close. I wish like hell I could just take her home in my car—because I’d probably find a reason to pull over somewhere in the desert and put my lips on her body for the next thirty minutes before getting her home. But I know she needs to take Max to school in the morning, so I walk her to her car, then head to mine to follow her the few blocks to her house.
When we enter the kitchen at home, Claire eyes us and gives me a wink—Avery doesn’t notice our silent exchange. Honestly, I think Claire is almost as excited about my date night with Avery as I am.
“Max is already asleep, and I think he’s actually sleeping tonight,” Claire says, giving her friend a quick hug and then gathering her things.
“Okay, that’s good. I’ve got a paper to write tonight,” Avery says, and I can’t help but feel a little disappointment. Claire laughs at me, shaking her head before heading out the back door.
“You need anything to eat?” Avery asks, pulling out the bread and peanut butter. I help her with the jar and slide it back to her. Her hand is better today, but she still has a bandage wrapped over the side.
“Well, I’m a little hungry, but I’m not sure I want to eat a sack lunch for dinner,” I joke. She shrugs and continues to make her sandwich.
“Suit yourself,” she says, licking the leftover peanut butter off the dull end of the butter knife. I’ve never wanted to be a knife more in my entire life; seeing her tongue slide up the edge of the metal has my mind flipping through a dozen various inappropriate thoughts.
She takes three large bites, and her sandwich is almost gone. I’m staring at her in awe, watching her pull the milk from the fridge and drink it right from the carton in front of me too. “What?” she says, her mouth muffled from the bite still inside. She raises the carton to hand it over to me. I shake my head and laugh. “It’s not like you haven’t shared my cooties.”
“Ave, believe me, I LOVE sharing your cooties. It’s just kind of nice seeing you relax, and honestly, watching you chug milk right from the carton is kinda…well…hot,” I say, my eyes almost daring her with the way I’m looking at her.
At first, she makes a tight smile and looks down, a little embarrassed. But then she reaches into the freezer to grab an ice cube, and when she turns her attention back to me, she’s making an entirely different face. Her eyes are hooded, and her smile is soft and wicked.
“You mean, hot like this?” She says, holding the ice cube between two fingers and sucking on the end, making sure I can see her tongue run a slow circle around the entire thing. She drags it slowly across her lips, her eyes on mine the entire time. I almost grab her then and replace the ice with my own tongue, but I stop when she slowly trails the cube down her chin and to her neck, drawing a wet line along her collarbone before softly circling it over the rise of her breast.
Fuck me. I’m usually pretty good with signs, but for some reason, this girl has me second-guessing everything. My feet are twitching with the need to charge at her, but my brain is waiting for a clear signal. Avery must sense my hesitation, though, because she steps toward me slowly, reaching for my hand, and placing the melting ice in my palm before pulling the edges of her T-shirt up slowly.
That’s enough of a sign for me, and soon I’m helping her pull the shirt entirely over her head, pushing her back against the counter. We’re far enough in the corner that we would be able to move to the living room to hide if someone came in.
Unable to take it, I kiss her hard, my tongue diving deep into her mouth, tangling with hers. The feeling of the cold from the ice only makes me want to explore her more, and I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, grazing my teeth against it when I finally let go. As soon as my lips leave hers, she lets out a faint cry, and it drives me absolutely crazy.
My hand starts at her cheek, and then I move it slowly along her neck and shoulders, pulling her bra straps down against her arms. She’s arching for me, and I know she wants me to touch her desperately, but I won’t—not yet. Instead, I stand in front of her and look at her bare skin, not touching her, until her eyes open to mine, and she’s practically begging.
I move closer, and take the ice in my hand, drawing it slowly along her neck and down her breast, right to the edge of her bra line, forcing her to pant. I hold it there, and I stare into her eyes, just watching her breathe—in and out, her rhythm the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I move my lips to her chest and grip the lace trim of her bra in my teeth, pulling it away from her skin slowly until her nipple is exposed. I blow gently, just long enough for her to think I’m going to pull it into my mouth, and then I move to the next one and do the same.
When I back away again, her eyes are closed, and her breathing is rapid. Seeing her stand there—her breasts barely exposed and being held up by the stretched white lace bra—has me so goddamned hard, I think about speeding this up. But I know these opportunities won’t come often, so I’m going to make sure this one lasts.
I move in closer, and once again trail the ice cube over her lips, her pink tongue peeking out just enough to taste it. I move it down her body, along the center of her chest so I can trace my way along the line of the bra to her now hard-as-hell nipple. I stop right before I touch the ice to the tip, waiting; Avery shifts her weight, squeezing her legs once. I’m driving her crazy, and it’s such a fucking turn on.
When I move the ice to the very tip of her nipple, she lets her lips fall open with another cry, and this time she says my name, and that only makes me want to torture her more. I hold the ice to the round, red peak, and don’t let her move, even though she’s squirming to try to get away. Then I move it to the other one, pinching with my fingers to press the ice against her, bringing her other nipple to the same hardness as the first.
“Mason,” she whimpers, and I feel her breath fall down my entire body.
Unable to stand it, I have to taste her. I take her frozen nipple into my mouth, sucking hard, and holding it tightly with my teeth until it’s warm again. My hand works her other breast, pinching and pulling at the tip until I feel her shift her legs once more. I reach behind her, and unhook her bra to let it fall completely from her body. I wrap my hands around her fucking amazing tits, my thumbs rubbing against the hard tips while she lifts herself up on the counter.
I move my hands to her face, cupping it hard, and bringing her lips to mine. She does the same, her hands starting around my neck and quickly gripping at my T-shirt, pulling it up and over my head. There’s no way I’m going to be able to not finish this, but I have to make sure Avery’s on the same page.
“I’m taking you to my bed,” I say, not really asking. When she holds her forehead to mine, and wraps her legs firmly around my waist, I know she’s letting me have her completely. I move my hands to her ass and press her body against mine, lifting her from the counter and walking her to the stairs.
I kiss her hard all the way into my bedroom. After I set her down on the mattress, I shut the door behind me, and lock it. Kicking my shoes off, I move closer to her, getting down on my knees since the mattress is so low to the floor. Looping my thumbs into the belt loops of her shorts, I slide her closer to the edge of the bed, staring into her eyes the entire time, hoping like hell I don’t read any hesitation. When I don’t, I pull off her shoes and socks, then slowly take down her zipper and slide the shorts from her legs, leaving her there in only a small pair of pink lace panties.
I have to rub my hand over my face once just to snap myself back to reality—reminding myself that this isn’t a dream, I’m really here for this. Her skin is so unbelievably soft, and she tastes just like she smells—like vanilla.
When I move forward to kiss her, she reaches her hands to the button on my jeans, and I almost lose it right there. “Hang on,” I say, holding my forehead to hers and taking a deep breath. “Being with you, Avery. It’s…it’s hard to take it slow.”
“So don’t,” she says, her eyes boring into mine with desire.
Oh fuck. On her command, I unzip my jeans and kick off the rest of my clothes, leaving the only thing between us the small strip of satin on her panties. I start my lips at her knees, and kiss my way all the way up to the tender spot between her legs. I test it once with my tongue over the silky fabric, and when I do, she writhes beneath me, a soft moan almost doing me in again.
I take the sides of her panties in both of my hands and slide them away from her body, slowly down her legs, watching every new part of her as I reveal it. She’s fucking breathtaking, and I’ve never wanted to be inside a woman more.
“Avery, I really care about you, and this is different than anything I’ve ever done, or anyone I’ve ever been with,” I say, my eyes unable to leave the small line of hair that points right between her legs. Like a fucking animal, I actually lick my lips, and I hear her breath pause when I do. “I just want you to know that—that you, and this—is special. But I’m not going to be able to hold back. I’m going to fuck you, and it’s going to be hard and rough and…it’s just gonna be that way.”
I manage to pull my gaze to her face for just a moment, and in that second, she sits up and reaches her arm around my neck, pulling me down on her. “Okay,” she says, her smile so unbelievably seductive I start to wonder if I’ve ever really known this girl at all.
“I have protection, in my jeans…” I start to say, but she pulls me back to her, shaking her head no.
“I’m on the pill; it’s okay,” she says, her words breathy and oh my god, I’m going to feel all of her completely.
Her lips hit mine hard, and she digs her fingers into the muscles of my back, pushing them lower into my sides, begging me to thrust into her. It doesn’t take long for me to find her entrance, and when I feel the tip against her soft, warm folds, I can no longer control myself. I push into her fast and hard, and she lets out a small gasp when I do. I look at her, wanting to make sure she’s all right, and she grabs my head and pulls me to her once again, kissing me hard.
“Again,” she says against my ear. So I thrust into her again, this time a little slower, but much deeper. With my next movement, Avery’s legs are wrapped around my body and her hands are clutching at the top edge of the mattress.
“Oh my god, Avery. You feel so fucking good,” I whisper roughly in her ear. I’m trying my best to be quiet, but I want to shout her name to the entire fucking world every time I feel her take me in. I know I don’t have long left, but I do my best to hold on as long as I can. I grip her leg and bring her thigh up high against me so I can move in and out with even more force.
Avery’s eyes open to mine, and the look of want and need on her face is so goddamned sexy. When she starts to nod yes and bites down on the back of her fist to keep herself from screaming, I completely lose control, hoping like hell I can move hard enough to take her with me. When I feel her shudder against me, I let go of everything and release it all inside of her, collapsing against her with exhaustion.
“Unbelievable. That was…I don’t even have a word for that,” I say, wishing like hell I wasn’t so wiped out so I could lift her up and do it all again. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
When I look at her, there’s a tiny tear forming in the corner of her eye, and my heart literally sinks. I reach up immediately and wipe it away with my thumb gently, kissing her forehead and moving her to my side so I can hold her close. “Oh my god, Ave, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry,” I say, suddenly angry with myself for not being in control.
“No, I’m fine. Please, Mason, you didn’t hurt me at all. It was amazing,” she says, her voice cracking a little.
“You don’t sound fine,” I say, pulling her face away just enough so I can look into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts. She smiles softly when I do, her hand coming up slowly and caressing my cheek.
“I think the intensity just struck me…I…oh god, I’m embarrassed to say this,” she says, covering her face with her hand. I grab it to pull it away and kiss her nose.
“Don’t be embarrassed. What is it?” I ask, needing to know she’s okay, that I didn’t just blow the best thing in my life.
“It’s sort of like when you imagine something for so long—when you actually dream about it—and then you get to live your dream? I guess…uhhhh, this sounds so stupid, I know, but Mason, I used to dream about being with you like this. I just, I’m afraid it’s not real,” she says, her eyes starting to tear again.
I pull the blanket up to cover her, then I pull her in closely, wrapping her completely in my arms so she has nowhere to go. “Avery, I’m in over my head here. This whole feelings thing, well…it’s foreign territory for me. But I can promise you one thing—this? This is real. It’s the realest fucking thing I’ve ever known. And I’m a persistent, stubborn bastard, so you better get used to me,” I stop short of telling her I love her, but the thought actually runs through my mind. If I weren’t such a chicken shit, I would.
She just stares into my eyes for several long minutes, her hand against my face the entire time, like she’s trying to memorize me, and I let her. To be honest, I like looking at her eyes. The green against the paleness of her face, and the hint of red to her hair is perfection. If I could paint a portrait of a beautiful woman, this would be it.
“So, we’re sort of doing this backward, but…I’d like to take you out tomorrow. You know, on a real date,” I say, laughing at my earlier thoughts of how I was going to seduce her during our night out. “I already sorted things out with Claire. Oh…and I got your dad’s permission.”
That last part actually makes her laugh. “You…asked my dad? You asked Ray Abbot if you could take me out?” she says, her giggle making my lungs fill with air.
“Sure did,” I say, kind of proud of myself.
She shakes her head and shuts her eyes for a second. When she opens them again, her smile is the brightest I’ve ever seen. She moves forward and kisses me softly but long. “Thank you,” she whispers against my lips.
“You’re welcome. But…you should know, we’re going cow-tippin’, so you might not want to thank me until you see all of the things I’ve got planned for the date,” I joke, and she considers me for a few long seconds before deciding I’m full of shit. “Seriously, it’s a surprise. Just some things I kind of want to do…with you.”
She blushes then, and I realize exactly everything we have done, and I squeeze her against me tightly.
“I mean, clothed activities,” I say, rubbing my nose against hers.
I get up to turn off my light, but when I do, I realize Avery is standing behind me, my blanket still clutched to her body. “I feel like such a loser, but…I really do have a paper to write,” she says, slapping her hand to her face in embarrassment. I forgot all about that—my stomach dropping at the thought of her not spending the night next to me…especially after what just happened.
“Okay, well…I’ll wait up,” I say, opening the door and looking around the hall and stairs to make sure the coast is clear.
“Are you sure? It’s going to be a while,” she says, chewing at the tips of her fingernails.
“Positive,” I say, swatting her on the ass once playfully while she steps into the hall.
“Okay, well…I’ll just knock lightly,” she says, her finger still dangling from her mouth. I pull it away and kiss her one more time.
“See you soon,” I say, and I stand there to watch her walk away, her bare shoulders and back almost as sexy as her front. She smiles one last time before she ducks into her room, and I watch the light flip on from underneath her door.
I think I’m waiting for the panic to set in. This is all new to me…wanting a girl to actually come back? I slip downstairs to pick up our clothes, and I go ahead and indulge in a few gulps from the milk myself. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to do that and not think of Avery—and tonight.
When I get back to my room, I pull out the guitar and play for about an hour, hoping she’ll be joining me soon. By midnight, I turn the light off and actually pace the small space of my room, opening the door to check on her light every five minutes. It’s always on, and I know her studies are important to her, so I take a deep breath each time, and come back to sit on my bed. I wish like hell I read. I actually read a few news blogs on my phone, but I’m just roaming over the words. I’m not paying attention to anything.
By two in the morning, I give up and let my eyes fall shut. I’m so fucking tired, and as badly as I want to wait for her, I just can’t.
I don’t know when she came in, but when my eyes blink open, the faint sound of Avery’s phone alarm is chirping next to me, and her hair is draped across my chest. She blinks her eyes open slowly and the cutest yawn on earth leaves her lips, followed by what has now become my favorite smile.
“You made it,” I say, smoothing her hair back and tucking it behind her ear.
“I came in an hour ago. It was a tough paper, but I promised. And I missed you,” she says, literally stealing every last piece of me with her words. She promised—the heaviness of that single word burning in my chest, and locking up my soul. And even though I haven’t said it yet, I know I love her. And I know I can’t lose her or let anything happen to her or even see her cry without it absolutely wrecking me.