13
Three Years Later
Lucas paced anxiously in the hallway, waiting for the results to be posted. Two weeks following his twenty fifth birthday, after weeks of cramming, years of patrol, working his way through the ranks, he’d finally sat his detective exams. Tired of relentless pacing he sat on one of the hard plastic chairs in the hallway and thought back over the past three years and what had brought him to this point.
He’d learnt his lesson the hard way after Carrie’s wedding and his encounter with Leah. Lucas avoided any contact with women who knew Carrie or Nathan from that point onwards. When Carrie talked to him again it started as a tirade. He’d wished she still wasn’t talking to him as opposed to this. Leah had quit her job at Carrie’s salon and cut off all contact with her. Try as she might, she couldn’t get Leah to change her mind. She claimed she was humiliated and couldn’t work with Carrie without thinking about Lucas and the way he’d treated her. Since those guilt laden weeks he’d learnt how to push aside his conscience.
Now he simply picked up nameless, faceless girls in bars, at work, or wherever they took his fancy. He never saw the same girl twice. Sometimes their agenda was the same and he was thankful when it was, however, sometimes they wanted a repeat performance and he’d learned to decline with politeness and tact. Discovering the easiest way to let them down was gently, to see them nicely on their way, take their number without giving out his and never calling. He avoided unwanted scenes this way.
He avoided a re-run for the same reason he always had, the attachment factor. As it had always been, he never wanted to fall in love or be with anyone long term and have them form an attachment. Even Olivia had and he’d thought she had wanted the same things as he did. After he broke off their arrangement, he heard she was seeing another detective and in fact he remembered hearing that they were getting married. He’d dodged that bullet. It seemed all women, even if they said otherwise, wanted the same thing ultimately. As time wore on his heart grew colder and lonelier.
His new disposition also pushed along his career. He became a senior officer, with a younger partner, in his second year. Having a stony, hard, tough approach to life was getting him closer to his goal of detective. He also secured himself a day shift which was a bonus, more nights free to spend with his conquests.
Carrie continuously advised him to change his ways, find some happiness, move on and find love. Being scared of what could happen was a pointless exercise. Her words fell on deaf ears, he didn’t care anymore and his heart was black now. Too many nightmares, isolation and horrific crime scenes had seen to that. Lucas could never see the irony. His career and lifestyle only darkened his heart and instead of finding the peace he sought through justice and the force, he travelled further from it each day. Every hollow encounter, every bloody scene and his thirst for vengeance were slowly destroying his soul. Carrie could see it and with a heavy heart knew he couldn’t go on this way. She prayed her little brother, the sweet, passionate, loving child, had not been destroyed forever. Her constant worry about him and his choices were voiced, but his mantra became I’m fine.
The amber glow had long gone from his eyes and his work, besides the women warming the sheets, continued to be his only purpose in life. Time hadn’t healed his wounds, only deepened the scars. Thankfully his nightmares had abated some and only occurred every so often, but this did little to lighten his heart. Closing himself off to the world, at least on the outside, just fed the solitude and the pain in his heart never faded, merely lingered. His other constant companion and solace was his journal. Page after page of his thoughts helped take the edge off of life but it wasn’t enough to bring him from the darkness.
There had been one shining light in this otherwise dark existence, Carrie’s impending new arrival. The thought of a niece or nephew lightened his heart ever so slightly.
The call came from Nathan, as he drove his wife to the hospital, in the early hours one morning. Lucas politely ushered out the blonde he had in his apartment and raced to the hospital. He paced anxiously waiting for the news. Hours later, Nathan appeared, ecstatically announcing it was a girl. Carrie wanted to see him.
“Hey, Carrie,” he said as he came to sit beside her bed. He gazed at the bundle she was cuddling and fell instantly in love. She was the most exquisite thing he’d ever seen. “She’s beautiful.”
“I know.” She grinned. “I wanted to ask you something before we named her.”
“Why do you need to ask me?”
“We want to name her Mabel.”
He stared at his beautiful family for a moment until the stabbing pains of longing subsided.
“I think Mum would have been honoured.”
“Are you okay with it?”
“Yes, I think it’s great.”
Deep down, he actually did, regardless of the memories that came with it.
“Do you want to hold her?”
“I wouldn’t know how.”
“Just support her head, everything else comes naturally.”
Lucas cradled the tiny bundle and as he ever so gently ran a finger over her face, she gripped his finger and his heart swelled. Life would be a little better now Mabel was in it.
Two wonderful, niece filled years passed and Lucas spent most of his spare time being an uncle, studying for his detective exams or at the gym. It paid to stay in shape and the physical pain reminded him he was still alive, well that and Mabel. He limited his other activities to once a month, wanting to be a better role model these days but still needed the distraction now and again. A man had his needs and as a relationship was out of the question, hollow one night stands would have to do. Lucas now only found solace in two places, at work, where he could hide his true feelings and strengthen his indifference, and with the Montgomery’s, where he didn’t have to hide as much.
His partner, Paul Jones, was enthusiastic and thorough and his buoyancy increased the pleasure of working patrol with him. He proved to be pleasant and interesting to work with. They both shared the same view on relationships, for totally different reasons, and went trawling together on many occasions. His blonde hair, blue eyes and boyish good looks never failed to draw the lookers, so along with Lucas’ dark brooding handsomeness they catered to the tastes of all women. As a team at work and play they were a powerful combination. Of course, Lucas didn’t actually need any help picking up, however, doing it with a companion made it seem less seedy somehow. As much as he enjoyed working with Paul, his ultimate goal came down to the results he impatiently waited for.
After seven years on the force and an impeccable arrest record, he was no closer to his original goal, the reason for his chosen career, finding his parent’s murderers.
Every robbery they attended, every thief they collared, he wondered whether it was the same punks. Would he ever know? Similar robbery or murders had occurred intermittently since that night but no-one had ever been caught and the cases, as his parent’s had, went cold. He constantly checked the databases, seeking similar MO’s, but there was never enough evidence with any of the cases to catch a perp. He began to wonder whether they would ever be caught, this troubled him and his sleep now.
Finally Captain Shaw stuck his head out the door and called him in, it was the moment of truth.