Going back to school was harder than Reagan would have expected. Grant had spent all day Thursday cooking the food he’d picked up earlier in the week. Reagan helped where she could, but she wasn’t as good at it as he was, and neither of them would let Luna near the kitchen since she was their guest. There was a turkey breast, potatoes and gravy, rolls, green beans, cranberry sauce made from scratch, and store-bought pies for dessert. Though Grant was an excellent cook, he couldn't bake for shit.

Friday was spent doing laundry and going through the last of Reagan’s belongings. She didn't think she needed to bring anything else to school, but she ended up taking a few t-shirts she liked to sleep in, one of which was Grant’s. It had holes in it and he’d been about to throw it out when she stopped him. She’d forgotten about its existence, but it was one of her favorites. Then, she and Luna hit up a few stores after lunch and picked up a handful of Christmas gifts.

It reminded Reagan that she still wanted to get a job. Her meager savings was starting to dwindle, and she already felt like she freeloaded off of Davis. He insisted on paying whenever they did anything and grew indignant when she tried to turn him down. Still, she paid her own car insurance and gas, plus buying her personal products. She was about to be broke.

Saturday was spent cuddled on the big couch watching Christmas movies. They talked a lot when there was nothing on the television. Grant was interested in Luna’s stories about her internship, especially since he could pick her brain about what it would be like when Reagan got far enough into school to do the same thing. Grant talked a little about his job, but he wasn't as comfortable talking when the subject revolved around him. Sunday was hard for Grant and Reagan as she prepared to leave. She had to drive for three hours and wanted time to get unpacked and prepared to go back to school on Monday. They left shortly after breakfast, and Luna was surprised to see Grant crying as he hugged Reagan.

“Take care of yourself, do you hear me?” His voice was gruff and even deeper than usual.

“You have to do the same, you know.” She sniffed and buried her head further into his chest. He was practically strangling her with his death grip around her back, but she didn't care. She hated to let him go.

“I do, I promise.”

“You work and don't have any fun,” she accused him. “Date somebody, fall in love. Make me an aunt.”

“Watch your mouth.”

She laughed.

“I love you, Ray.”

“I love you, big brother. I’ll see you in less than a month.”

He looked up at Luna. “Are you going home for Christmas? You're more than welcome here.”

Reagan pulled away from him to look at Luna, and she held her arms out to her friend. Luna joined them for a threeway hug.

“I’ll go home,” she said as she pulled away. “I haven't seen my parents since the summer. I’ve been saving up for the trip.”

“Okay.” Reagan wiped her face. “We really should go.”

Now Reagan sat in Hudson's class feeling devastated. She hated being back there in that place. She missed Grant, she missed his hugs, and she missed the time they’d spent with Luna. She wasn't happy to be in Hudson’s class while she looked like shit. Her eyes were red and there were circles underneath them. He, of course, looked good enough to eat. He hadn't shaved his face in a few weeks and the beard he grew occasionally was back. She shivered as she thought of that beard and how it had felt against her sensitive skin.

They were heading into final exams and spent most of the classes in the month of December going over the exam subjects. Reagan knew she would do fine, especially in his class, but she was overall unprepared. She felt like she was out of sorts, unfocused and easily distracted. She chalked it up to missing her brother, but Luna told her she was acting like she was lovesick.

“I thought you said there wasn’t anybody in your life.”

“Why would you say that?” Reagan looked up from her spot on Davis’s couch where they had been studying for the past hour.

“You’re mooning over someone. You need to get laid.”

“You need to get laid.”

“Yeah, you know I'm right, especially since you’re so sensitive about the subject. Who is it?”

“Luna, leave her be,” Davis spoke up. When she saw him for the first time after coming back, Reagan had been surprised to discover how much she missed him.

“Ugh, can we drop it?” Reagan frowned as she attempted to look back down at her notes. Of course, Davis knew who her crush was, but he’d promised never to tell Luna.

“You know who it is!” Luna accused Davis.

“Nope.” He kept his head down as he pretended to read a book, but Luna knew him too well. She was hurt that he knew, but Reagan hadn't felt like she could share it with her.

“Okay, fine.” Reagan slammed her book closed. “If I tell you, no judging, and then can we eat? I’m tired of studying.”

“Fine by me,” Davis said. “As a matter of fact, I’ll go order pizza while the two of you talk.”

They watched him walk out of the room and then Luna turned accusatory eyes to her friend. “What the fuck, Reagan?”

Reagan sighed. “Okay, I'm sorry I told him and not you, but it was a long time ago and I’d forgotten about it.”

Luna just waited, her arms crossed.

“It’s my lit comp professor.” She waited for the fireworks, but there was nothing but silence. “Um, we met on the way here to college. It was storming, I was running late, and had decided to stop at a hotel for the night. I spotted a broken down car on the side of the road, and pulled over to help. It was him.”

“I’m assuming he was a stranger to you at that point?” Luna frowned as she imagined her young friend pulling over in the dark to help a strange man.

“Yes.” Reagan nodded, pushing her hair behind her ear and swallowing before continuing. “I did something I’ve never done before.” She shot a look toward the door where Davis had gone. “I went to his room and asked him for a one night stand. I didn't tell him that I was a virgin.”

“What the crap, Reagan? It must have been so bad.” Even Luna had to shift in her seat at the thought of how painful that would be.

“It kind of was, at first.” She looked down. “But by the third time, it was amazing.” She couldn't help it, she shot her friend a huge grin. “I know I didn't have anything to compare it to before then, but still. It can't always be like that. He likes certain things, from what I gathered, and he turns me on so ridiculously. The problem is that we can’t date while I'm his student or he’d be fired.”

“Okay, so three more weeks?”

“I'm in his class next semester, too. He's the only professor that teaches the advanced literature classes.”

“So you have to hold out for the end of the school year?”

“We failed at that a few times already. It’s been very up and down.”

“He’s who you were expecting a text from the week before Thanksgiving, isn't he?” No wonder she’d been so distracted. Luna couldn't blame her.

“Yeah.”

“So you're both prepared to break the rules?”

“It's so hard not to. I don't even know if I would like him as a person. We’ve only had sex, we've never really talked. He's been an asshole, he's been sweet. It’s clear he wants me as much as I want him.” Reagan frowned. She wasn’t even sure that was true.

“What did he do to you?”

Reagan frowned. What hadn't he done? “When?”

“The third time that you said was so amazing.”

“I swear to God, if Davis is eavesdropping. . .”

“He wouldn't do that.”

“It was just . . . he was behind me while we were in the bed, and he just . . . you know my ass is huge, so how he managed . . . he arched my back so far, closed his hand around my throat, and pulled my arms behind my back. I’d never felt so dominated. It was almost too much, but he seemed to know exactly how much pressure he could use. From that angle, with my arms trapped behind me . . .” She looked up into Luna’s eyes. “I highly recommend it.”

Luna threw a pillow. “Asshole. I’m not getting any of any nature, and now you've turned up the heat with that description.”

“It's not my fault you aren't getting any. Ask. He’d give.”

Now Luna groaned. “I know. We weren't talking about me, though, were we?”

“No, but turnabout's fair play.”

“Ladies, is it safe?” Davis called from the hallway.

“It is now.”

They ate pizza and Reagan tried to put that third time out of her head. She’d done things with Hudson that she hadn't ever planned on doing with anyone. She’d let him do things to her body . . . He’d used her until she was sore, bruised, and slightly burned all over by his beard. Her skin was red and raw in some places. Her nipples hurt for a week. He’d whispered in her ear how he wanted to put clamps on them and watch them engorge. He wanted to fuck her mouth, he wanted her on her knees before him. He told her of a lot of things that night. She’d managed to fulfill one of the things he’d quasi-promised. She hadn't really thought he'd meant any of it at the time, more that he enjoyed the dirty talk, but she had known when she broke into his office that she could show him a thing or two he’d talked about that night. That was the key to keeping him interested in her, or so she’d thought.

She didn't expect to have any time to be worrying about him for the rest of the month. Between their last few classes of the term and then final exams, they would both be too busy. After that, she would be home for two weeks before the new term in January. And after that, he had to wait for an entire four months again before he was technically allowed to be anywhere near her. She didn't think she could wait that long, and hoped he wasn't expecting that, either.

Davis was nice enough to distract them with tales of his time at home for the break. He talked about his parents and the friends they invited over. Reagan couldn't blame Luna for not wanting to ever go with him. The people he described were stuck up, in her opinion. Her mind went back to Hudson, and she wondered what his family was like. Was he doted on as a child? Did he have both parents in his life? Did he have siblings, a girlfriend back home? Was Reagan just a distraction while he was living in Maryland? Maybe he was poor like she and Grant were, or maybe he was as rich as Davis. She wondered what she would do if it turned out that he was a snob. She wasn't sure.

It wasn't long before she had to be back in her own dorm. She was looking forward to the end of the semester due to the simple fact that she was allowed to put in for a transfer request over the winter break. She knew that Lydia would beat her to it, so she wasn’t terribly worried about filling out the paperwork in time. She just hoped whoever they replaced her with was a nicer person, which didn't appear to be too hard to accomplish. Almost anybody would be nicer than Lydia.

Reagan showered before bed, as was her habit. She was tempted to touch herself again after thinking about Hudson for most of the evening, but she didn't feel like it was something she wanted to do often in the shared bathroom. Luna was right about one thing; Reagan was wound too tight.