Chapter Four

Changes

 

 

“Maybe a penis tattoo would’ve been a better idea.”

Looking around the packed club, I was relieved no one heard me talking to myself.

Or, if they had, they were pretending they hadn't.

As much as I wished I was sitting at home in my yoga pants, watching mindless TV and eating Chinese food delivery straight from the carton, I knew I needed a change of scenery.

I was in a rut. And not a minor one.

Ray must’ve known, too, since she’d threatened me with an obscene face tattoo if I didn’t come out.

For almost two weeks straight, I’d been swamped with school and cakes. I’d also started pouring over my financial books. The bank had been in contact quickly to tell me that my loan had been denied. I’d researched everything in hopes that there was an obvious cause but I hadn’t found any.

It was easy to not dwell on Jake ending things when I barely had time to think.

Can you end something that never even began?

Well, I didn’t dwell too much, at least.

When I’d gotten home that night, I was mentally drained and physically exhausted. Even still, I’d forced myself into the shower to wash away the smell of him. Skipping all of my usual nighttime routines, I’d collapsed into bed though sleep was hard to find. My mind wouldn’t settle as it replayed the night, once again filling in all of the things I should have said.

I’d wondered if he would try to clear the air again.

He hadn’t.

I wasn’t sure how the situation with Jake was going to affect things with the other guys. I’d hoped it wouldn’t, but knowing he was their boss, I’d understood if they didn’t want any weirdness.

That didn’t mean I’d like it.

My worry was for nothing. The guys texted and acted like nothing was different.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t say I did the same.

*******

The day after my epic crash and burn with Jake, Kase texted to invite me out with them. I was so swamped, I couldn’t have gone even if I wanted to.

For over a week, every time one of the guys invited me out, I used my schedule as a crutch. I was busy, definitely. But I could’ve found time if I tried hard enough.

After flopping on the bed one night, too exhausted to even pull the blanket up, I couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, I found myself wondering what the guys were up to. I hadn’t wanted everything with Jake to change things between me and them, but it had.

And I was the one responsible for the change.

Waking with the sun the next morning, I began baking a giant batch of donuts in three different flavors. I texted Kase when it reached a suitable time and asked him to come pick them up to take to work.

“Hey, these were on your porch,” he blurted out quickly as he handed me a giant vase of Stargazer Lilies.

I looked around for a card, but there was none. It wasn’t uncommon for me to get flowers from clients but I liked to know who sent them. Knowing that something I did made someone happy and that they appreciated it was a thrill that never lessened.

I took the flowers before handing him two big containers of donuts with instructions to freeze them at the shop. I also gave him a box to be eaten right away.

Since Kase seemed perpetually cheerful, I was surprised when he leaned against the open door frame and his expression turned serious.

“Jake’s being a real dick around the shop. Barking at everyone over stupid shit.”

“So it’s business as usual?” I joked.

“This is worse than Jake’s normal warm and snuggly personality. I don’t know what happened and I’m not asking you to share. All I know is you two looked tight at Jet’s. Next day you’re suddenly too busy to do anything and Jake’s a major prick.”

“I really have been busy.”

“I don’t doubt that. I’m just saying that there’s more to it. I know Jake can be a little… controlling.”

Yeah, and a hurricane is just a little windy.

“It’s not that, Kase.”

“But if there was something he said to make you end things or—”

“I appreciate this. I really do. But I’m not the one that ended things.”

“Jake did? Shit, we’d all just figured…” Kase shook his head. “Well, it doesn’t matter what we figured. Really?”

“Yup.”

His brows lowered. “What the hell is wrong with him?”

“Sometimes people just want different things. Doesn’t make either of us right or wrong.” I smiled up at him. “Now get going. I have cakes to bake.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Kase began walking off my porch towards his car before stopping. “Don’t think any of that means you can get rid of me and the guys.” Though his voice was teasing, I was pretty sure his words were more of a warning than a joke.

“Of course not. Hence the donuts. You’re still my boys.”

“Boys? Hell, woman, we’re men!” he yelled back as he got into his car and drove off with a wave.

*******

When Eli had texted to tattle on Kase for hoarding donuts and ask if I was coming out with them, I again declined. This time, though, it was because of my plans with Ray.

A Friday night with the boys would be a chill time.

I needed more than that.

Shaking off my kind of funk definitely called for getting decked out and partying with my girls.

Blowing off my last class of the day, I’d caught up on my baking before getting ready.

Using hot rollers and enough spray to be personally responsible for a sizeable hole in the ozone, I’d styled my hair in a wild tumble of curls. I went heavy on my eyeliner and mascara, but offset it with a simple nude gloss on my lips.

While my makeup had balance, my outfit was all-out. Pairing a black mini skirt with a fitted, dark purple, scoop neck top, I was showing more than a hint of leg and cleavage. I’d even dusted shimmer on my legs before putting on matching purple, strappy heeled sandals.

I felt good. I was ready to party.

Until I walked into the club.

It wasn’t anything against the place itself. Voodoo was kickass, and I wasn’t just saying that because I knew the owner and was best friends with his woman.

I was just in a rotten freakin’ mood.

“You can do this. Be normal for once,” I whispered to myself as I made my way around people. “Okay, not talking to yourself is probably the first step in being normal.”

I reached the bar and saw that Ray was already there with Marcy and Lily, two other tattoo artists from her all female studio.

Lily was a little taller than me and more rounded, with an angelic face framed by blond hair. Her innocent looks contradicted with her far from heavenly interests. She was constantly on the hunt for a partner that understood that. She also had rotten luck finding one.

Marcy was almost six feet tall with smooth brown skin that glowed, hypnotic light brown eyes, and a love of weaves in bright colors. She was also a self-proclaimed nerd with an anti-possession symbol tattooed around her bellybutton. She even dressed up as Star Trek’s Uhura for Halloween.

Every year.

Hugs and greetings were given, everyone talking over each other before Ray interrupted.

“Honey, there’s time for chatting later. Right now you need a drink.”

“That obvious?” I asked.

“Uh-huh. You look totally hot, of course. But if you climbed on the bar, not to dance but to sleep, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long few weeks.”

I hadn’t told Ray much about what had been happening. She knew there was a guy I dug, he didn’t end up being into me, and I was a bit bummed out.

Right after Jake halted things, I wasn’t ready to analyze and dissect everything with her. Once I’d made the decision a few days ago to put on my big girl panties and get over it, I didn’t feel like revisiting it all.

Jake and I were kinda friends on the way to maybe more. Things not working out was hardly a great romantic tragedy, even if the end was a bit of a fiasco.

The girls and I tossed back a couple shots and were already on our way to tipsy by the time we hit the dance floor. We danced, laughing and yelling over the music to talk.

“I’m getting thirsty. Anyone else want another drink?” Ray asked.

I opened my mouth to agree when I felt the hairs on my neck stand up, something that seemed to happen often.

“Hellooooo, handsome. Isn’t that Jake Hyde?” Marcy asked.

Of course. Seriously, of fuckin’ course it is. And next in will be Billy Mason with a new pair of sneakers for me to throw up on.

“Oh, damn. If I weren’t in Edge’s bar right now, I would say something very obscene regarding what I want to do to him, and which of his tattoos I want to lick,” Ray said with a laugh.

I didn’t bother to turn around to look. I figured that, based on his magical ability to know and see all, he’d already noticed me. I didn’t want to see him with what I assumed would soon be a harem of women flocking to him.

So I went with pretending he didn’t exist.

It wasn’t the most mature reaction, but it was the best one I could think of.

“Okay, eye candy gone,” Lily said. “Let’s go get a drink.”

We headed back to the bar, throwing back a shot as the bartender mixed up some fruity, but dangerous, concoction.

Wincing, I looked at Ray. “God, that tasted awful. Like ground up cinnamon potpourri and antifreeze. What was it?”

She opened her mouth to speak when her eyes went beyond me and a smile spread across her face.

I turned to see a familiar pair of sexy blue eyes looking down at me.

“Rhys!” I squealed in delight.

“If it isn’t my very favorite hot baker. Hey, darlin’.”

Ray looked between us. “You two know each other?”

“I had the great pleasure of eating Piper’s cookies.”

Am I just super horny, or did that sound filthy?

“So good, I licked every crumb.”

Okay, yeah, totally filthy.

“I saw a show at Rye recently. I made him cookies to make up for the whole law-breaking thing,” I told Ray, using finger air quotes.

Her bottom lip jutted out in an exaggerated pout. “You didn’t make Edge cookies tonight. I want some cookies.”

“I’ll hop on that this week.” I turned back to Rhys. “What’re you doing at the competition?”

“Edge and I are old friends. We try to plan events that would draw similar crowds on different days. How do you know Ray?”

“Old friends. She did all my ink.”

“I knew it was quality when I saw it,” he said with a wink to Ray. “Let’s dance.”

“Well, I’m here with my girls, so—”

“Yes!” all three girls said behind me as they pushed me towards Rhys.

I shrugged and smiled, taking his outstretched hand as he led me to the dance floor. We danced and talked as much as we could over the music.

When he turned me so my back was to his front, his hardness was impossible to miss.

So, owning a kickass bar is far from the only thing Rhys had going for him.

His mouth pressed close to my ear to be heard over the music. “Do you know how old I am, Piper?”

“Uh, Jake said you were around forty,” I confessed, feeling like I was caught gossiping.

“Of course he would. I’m thirty-seven.”

“Cool.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Does that bother you?”

I shook my head. “Does it bother you I’m twenty?”

“No. You don’t act it. You don’t even really look your age.”

Tilting my head, I fake glared up at him. “Are you saying I look old?”

He grinned. “No. I’m saying you look confident. You know who you are, and you own that. You aren’t desperate or needy, all things I see nightly. So, you don’t look your age, unless you look closer.” He stood up straighter as we danced.

I reached back to put my hand on his neck and pulled him down so he could hear me. “And then what happens?”

“Then you see how soft you are. Totally unhardened by life. You’re not an act. You’re not a mask you put on to manipulate people. You don’t want anything, you aren’t scheming, and you aren’t cynical.”

I smiled, liking that someone saw me that way. I was glad he couldn’t see my face because I knew my smile wavered when he continued.

“You’re almost, I dunno, innocent. Makes a man want to protect you even more.”

Innocent. I wonder how he’d feel if he knew just how innocent I really am? Would he drop out of my life, too?

I gave a nervous laugh. “I really don’t know what to say to all that.”

“Say nothing. Just know it’s true.”

I nodded, deciding to focus on the positive things he’d said.

We danced a minute more before he leaned down. “I gotta get back to Rye.” He kept his arm wrapped around me as we headed to the bar.

“It was cool seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too, darlin’. Call me?” He phrased it like a question, but didn’t wait for my answer. Leaning down, he brushed his lips slowly across my cheek. “Ladies,” he said with a chuckle, giving a glimpse of dimples before he walked away.

I turned to my girls and saw what he found so amusing.

Sitting at the bar, they were attempting to look casual. Since this involved looking anywhere but where Rhys and I were, all while whistling jaunty tunes, they were also failing.

All pretenses dropped once he got far enough away and they let out a collective girly screech and squeal.

Lily grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. “What was all that?”

“And what was with that kiss? How does he make a cheek kiss look obscene?” Marcy asked.

“We were just continuing a conversation from before,” I said, not sure how much detail I wanted to go into.

“About?”

“What do you think about? He obviously wants more of her desserts,” Ray said, using finger quotes as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Lily asked, giggling.

“From the looks of it, he wants some more of Piper’s glorious cookies.” Ray grabbed her own chest for emphasis. “So, what’s the story?”

“He wants to go out but I don’t want to jump into anything,” I admitted.

All three made various noises of disbelief.

Ray shook her head. “No, no, that’s understandable.” Lowering her voice, she leaned in closer. “From what I hear, jumping in with Rhys is like diving into the deep end of sex. It’s intense for one night and then that’s all she wrote. Or, I guess in this case, that’s all he humped!”

We all burst out laughing, which reminded me how badly I had to go.

“Alright, I’ve had to go to the bathroom for the past three songs. I’ll dish when I get back!” Their girly talk and giggles faded as I walked away but still left me smiling.

When I finished in the bathroom, I turned in the hall towards the bar. I let out a startled yelp as I found myself suddenly pressed up against the wall.

I pulled my fist back and was ready to swing when I looked up into a pair of intense, green eyes.

“What the hell?” I put my hand to my chest. “Are you trying to give me a freakin’ heart attack?”

“I said your name. I thought you were ignoring me.”

“No, I just wasn’t paying attention. Lesson learned for both of us.”

Jake tilted his head. “Both?”

“Mine is to not zone out. Yours is to stop sneaking up on me or I’ll open a can of whoop-ass on you. Maybe even a case of it.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good, be sure you do,” I said, distracted at the way his eyes lightened with humor before going dark again.

“Havin’ fun?”

“Yes I am. You?” I was proud of how even my voice sounded since I was feeling anything but with the way he was pressed close.

So close.

You should touch his hair!

“Don’t be cute.”

“Sorry, I don’t know how to do that.”

Jake chuckled though this time his eyes didn’t lighten. “No, I guess you don’t. Where’d your dance partner go?”

“Work.”

“Little old for you, isn’t he?”

“No.”

He wasn’t. All of my close friends were older. The only guys I’d seen my age had been horrible. Some were so dull that the only desire I felt was to take a nap. Others were slightly less boring but skeeved me out, like I needed a scalding hot shower with my clothes on.

“You’re supposed to be with someone your own age. Closer to it, at least. Some nice kid.”

“Why? I’m an adult. I can pick who I want. If I wanted someone my age, I’d be with them. Now excuse me.” I shifted to get past him.

I barely moved when his mouth was on mine, hard and insistent. My hands went to his chest as I began to lose myself in the kiss. Before my brain could go to total mush, the pain of his rejection resurfaced.

At the reminder of what he’d said and how he’d acted, I pushed his shoulders hard. Though he only went back an inch, he did bring his head up enough to look at me.

“This is fucked up, Jake. I don’t play games.”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s not my name.”

“Everyone calls you Jake.”

“Yeah, everyone but you. You called me Jacoby when you found out it was my full name. I like hearin’ my name from your mouth.”

“Okay, whatever. I’ve gotta get back.” I tried to move away again but he put his forearms flat on the wall and pinned me with his body. If he were anyone else I’d feel panicked and caged.

He wasn’t just anyone, though.

“You don’t get it.”

“No. I do get it ‘cause you made that message very clear.” Inhaling deeply, I tried to calm my temper. “It’s fine.”

“I’m trying to do the right thing. It isn’t you.”

And there goes my Zenful calm.

“Oh, God, Jake, don’t give me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit.”

I heard Ray calling my name from down the hall, but Jake’s body blocked my view.

“Dammit, Piper, just listen. Hear where I’m comin’ from and give me a chance to explain,” he murmured in my ear, his gravelly voice coaxing.

I wonder what else that voice could get me to do. Oh wait! Been there, done that, got the emotional burn. Where was my chance to talk last week?

That thought pissed me off to Hulk-like strength.

Or so I imagined.

I pushed away from the wall, giving Jake no choice but to move. Getting free, I turned and got toe-to-toe with him, once again wishing I was taller.

“Don’t pull that shit with me. I’m not a toy you can throw away and then get cranky about when someone else picks me up to play.”

“Fuck.” Jake lifted his hand to spear into his hair. His movement stuttered when his fingers tangled in the pulled back strands. Instead, he ran his palm down his face, exasperated. ”I swear that isn’t it. I was here to talk to you already. You told Kase you were comin’ here, he told me. I just want to explain what happened. That’s all. You wanna walk away after that, I can’t force you to stay.”

“Jake, seriously, there’s nothing to explain. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fuckin’ fine.” I sensed his control was close to snapping before he stepped back and took a deep breath. “Look, I’ll leave and you go have your fun with your girls. Just… call me tomorrow, yeah?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t sure if I’d call. My mind was in no place to make a decision right now.

He brought his head down and pressed a light kiss to my lips, though I stayed still. He raised his head to look down at me, searching my face. Lowering his mouth to mine again, he kissed me harder.

Fisting my hands so hard my nails dug into my palms, I resisted the overwhelming desire to return his kiss. I refused to open myself up again. Instead, I stepped back and pulled away from him.

His grip on me tightened briefly before he dropped his hands.

I started walking down the hall with a thoughtfully silent Ray. I needed a second to get my head together, and I knew she got that. When the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, I tilted my head to look behind me.

All I saw was Jake, his back against the wall and his head turned away. Even from a distance, I could see the rigidness of his body as he bit out a curse.

I knew my reprieve was over when we returned to the bar and Ray ordered a round of stronger booze.

“So, what the fuck was that?” she started as soon as we got our drinks.

“What was what?” Marcy asked, looking to Lily who shrugged.

“Piper has been holding out on us. Big time.”

“It’s no big deal, really.” I took a couple large gulps of my drink.

“Oh, yeah, totally. I go to see if you fell into the fuckin’ toilet, and instead find you with Jake Hyde.”

“Dude, were you hooking up with Jake?” Lily asked, her face an almost laughable mix of interest and envy.

“No, not our Piper. She had him flippin’ in a way that was tortured hero hot. And she’s getting all feisty instead of her usual sweet.”

Marcy’s eyes went wide. “What? Why? I need details. Like what was he wearing? Was he shirtless? Can we pretend he was?”

Because my drama was more interesting than dancing, we went to a quieter VIP area so they could hear the goods while we drank.

“So, Jake was your mystery man?” Ray asked.

I nodded. “Yup.”

“Well, that explains why you were the only woman in the place that wasn’t looking at him when he walked in.”

“When were you together?” Marcy asked.

“We weren’t. We were, I dunno.” I moved my hand around, spilling some of my drink as I tried to find the right words. “Friends who made out a few times?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You kissed Jake Hyde?” Lily screamed.

“Jeez, Lily, hop on the MC mic and announce it to the bar.”

“Hell, if I kissed the Jake Hyde, I would totally be on the mic announcing it. I’d tweet it, status it, Instagram it, whatever I could. I’d probably even take out a full page newspaper ad or get a billboard,” she declared, to the nodded agreement of the other two.

“Okay, so were you friends with benefits with him?” Ray asked.

“We weren’t even that. We hung out a couple times.” I looked around to see them all wearing the same shocked expression. “What?”

“Honey, Jake doesn’t do long term.”

“I never asked him to. Sure, I’ve been bummed, but I know he did the right thing.”

Ray shook her head slowly. “No, you aren’t getting it. Hanging out a couple times with Jake is the same as spending a couple months in a relationship with a regular man. To him, that is long term. Only thing crazier would be him spending the night.”

My face must have given something away because all three screeched.

That seems to be happening with them a lot. I wonder if they get together to practice synchronized screeching?

“No fuckin’ way. Having Jake fuckin’ Hyde spend the night is like hitting jackpot. Honestly, if the hype is true, it’s way better. It’d be like hitting the jackpot every time, all night long,” Marcy said.

“Nothing really happened. We kissed a little and then went to sleep. He only spent the night because he’d been drinking.”

Ray held up her cell. “I texted Edge to ask if he’s ever heard of Jake spending the night. Of course, he asked why I wanted to know. He said if I get sucked into the whole sexy, smart, and successful thing Jake has going that means no more free drinks for us. But, according to Edge, Jake rarely has sex with the same girl more than once. He hasn’t heard of him staying the night since his last serious girlfriend and she was eight years ago. I think he must be into you.”

“I don’t know what the deal is. Hell, I don’t think he even knows if he likes me half the time. He can be a serious asshole. It doesn’t matter now anyway, it’s done.”

“What happened that made it done?” Lily asked.

I looked around and saw the three of them were on the edge of their seats.

It seems when I decide to do something out of the ordinary, I really go for it.

“He just said he wasn’t into it and that was that. I haven’t heard from him in almost two weeks.”

“There wasn’t more to it?” Marcy pressed.

“Not really. There’s just a… barrier between us.”

Ha. Barrier.

“What was tonight about then?” Ray asked.

“I think he feels bad. We had a… tiff before and he ended up coming over late at night to apologize. That’s when he crashed with me. He was being nice.”

“Jake Hyde is not nice. He’s an asshole. And, if you asked him, he’d unrepentantly say he was much worse than that. He can be great. He’s loyal as hell, smart, and somehow a good guy. But he’s still an asshole. There’s no way he’d go out of his way twice to try to clear up any ‘tiffs’.”

I was beyond ready to be off this topic. My mind was already muddled, and the conversation wasn't helping. Neither was the booze. “Well, it doesn’t matter. The barrier between us isn’t just going to disappear anytime soon. Well, maybe. I mean I really hope it does.”

Okay, the puzzled faces mean I’m not making any sense. Moving on!

“By that time, though, it’ll be too late. I’m not mad. I like him and will probably see him around. Maybe he just doesn’t want things to be weird if we run into each other?”

“Jake isn’t the type to care if things are weird. He definitely isn’t the jealous type. I’ve seen girls he’s slept with make it really obvious they’re with someone new. I’m talking going at it with another guy against a wall. It’s not even a blip on his radar. You moving on with Rhys shouldn’t faze him one bit. But from what I caught in the hallway, he was plenty fazed.”

“There’s more to it. More to him. He’s hot—”

“Hell yeah, he is,” Lily muttered.

“Well, obviously in that way. But I mean he runs hot and cold. One minute he looks ticked at me. Then he looks bored. All of a sudden he’s so sweet that I swear I’m never going to stop smiling. But then he’s back to being an ass. It’s like he has male PMS that comes every twenty minutes instead of once a month.”

“Maybe it would be better if you started at the beginning,” Ray urged gently.

With some liquid courage courtesy of vodka, I began what was supposed to be a quick sum-up of what had been happening. I hadn’t planned on sharing much, but once I started talking, I couldn’t seem to stop. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to get it out, or how awesome it would feel to finally unload.

Because my virginity was personal to me, I still didn’t get into the specifics of why things ended with Jake. But I did share everything else, including what had gone down tonight with both Rhys and Jake.

“Edge said this is all unheard of,” Ray declared as she looked up from her phone. “Jake even hinting at wanting to talk again is major. Edge also said Rhys left with a big smile on his face. Rhys doesn’t do weekends, repeats, anything more than a ‘wham, bam, thank you, now get the fuck outta my face’. All of that normally takes place in a backroom at Rye.”

“That sounds… unpleasant,” I murmured, scrunching up my nose. I liked Rhys. I didn’t like that he was that kind of guy, though.

“If the lore is to be believed, it’s far from unpleasant. Chicks know what they’re getting. After the way he spends those few hours, though, most want more.”

From what I felt on the dance floor, I can definitely believe it.

“Wait, you’re still texting Edge?” I asked, needing to get my mind out of Rhys’ backroom. “He’s a room away, go tell him in person.”

“And miss these bombs you’re dropping? Anyway, back to what he’s saying. This is all unheard of territory. Both men, both of them owning successful businesses, they’re obviously smart. They know they’re getting someone they can have and leave with no second thought when they hook up with some club hopper or biker bitch. They’re both honest about it, though, and upfront from the beginning. If a woman moves forward with stars, or more likely money signs, in her eyes, thinking she’ll be able to fuck a commitment out of them, that’s on her.”

I looked longingly at my glass and wished it were full for the truth bombs Ray was dropping.

“Even with all that, I genuinely like them both. They have their reasons for holding back. I don’t know all the details, and even if I did, it isn’t my place to share. But either one of them decides to settle down and focus that energy, loyalty, and badass hotness on one woman? I love Edge. Absolutely, to the bottom of my soul and back. He's my very own hot, loyal badass. So I know from experience whoever gets one of them is in for a life of beauty.”

“It’s not that I don’t agree, but—”

“No excuses, Piper,” Ray interrupted, holding up her enviously full drink. “Just listen. See what Jake has to say. Don’t dismiss him as being nice, though, ‘cause that just isn’t him. He doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean. If he wanted to talk just so things weren’t awkward, he’d have said that. More likely he’d just let it go. If you wanted to make a scene, that’d be on you. So, just listen.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Cluck, cluck, chicken.

“Okay, too much heavy. Piper looks like she needs a drink, and as her doctor, I’m saying she gets one, stat,” Lily said.

“You aren’t a doctor,” Marcy pointed out the obvious.

“No, but I have a naughty nurse outfit, and that’s basically the same thing. Now, booze, stat!”

I might not have many, but the few friends I had were the best.

*******

It was well after two in the morning when the taxi pulled in front of my house to drop me off first. I didn’t even need to grammatically calculate my level of intoxication.

Tipsy was a memory.

I was drunk.

“Night, honey!” Ray whisper-yelled out of the window.

“Don’t forget to figure out what scent you’re putting out and bottle it for me! I need men like that all over me!” Marcy yelled as the taxi pulled away.

If I wasn’t so drunk, I’d have been mortified. Instead, I laughed as I carefully climbed the stairs.

“Sweetness,” I heard from the side, startling me and making me drop my keys.

“Holy hell!” I looked over to see Jake lounging in one of my porch chairs, like it wasn’t the middle of the night. “You’re lucky I’m all out of whoop-ass. You scared the bejeezus out of me. What’re you doing here?”

Jake ignored my question as he stood and walked towards me. Gracefully dipping as he moved, he grabbed my keys before standing with his body way in my space. “The scent you put out? It’s your sweetness. Your looks might catch their attention but it’s the soft, sweetness that keeps them hooked.”

His words reminded me of Rhys. Rhys’ words reminded me of Jake.

These dudes are confusing.

“Good to know. Now I can start the process of extracting and bottling it for Marcy.” I tried to keep from falling over. Being drunk was one thing. Being wasted with Jake in my space was another.

“Have fun tonight?”

“Why, yes, yes I did. I danced so much. And drank. Just a little,” I lied, giggling up at him.

“Yeah, just a little,” he said with a chuckle, putting his hand on my cheek. “I miss you, sweets. Have you missed me?”

“I really have. I’m not just saying that because I’m very slightly drunk. You could’ve asked me earlier and I’d have said the same thing. I don’t play games, Jake. And I don’t like people that do.”

“I’m learnin’ that.”

“So, why are you lurking on my porch?”

“I wanted to see you again, make sure you got home okay.”

“How did you know I was coming home?”

“I didn’t.”

“How did you know I was coming home alone?”

“I didn’t.” His fists clenched and released. “I thought about that, wonderin’ how I’d handle it. I can tell you now, for fuckin’ sure, it wouldn’t have been good. Now, let’s get you to bed. Yeah?” He reached around me to unlock the door and push it open.

I heard Jake throw the lock back into place as I started towards my room. When I went into the bathroom, he stopped in the hall outside the door.

“Don’t stand out there!” I ordered.

Or giggled.

Most likely giggled.

“Why?”

“I have to do something and I don’t want you to hear.”

I heard Jake’s deep laughter. “You gotta pee?”

“Nooooooo!” I vehemently denied. “Now go away!”

“Alright, but only ‘cause I can’t resist you when you’re bossy. I’ll be in your room.”

“Okay, baby,” I mumbled.

After taking care of my nightly routine, I walked back into the bedroom, still in my clothes and heels.

“These shoes might do wonders for my legs and ass, but my feet freakin’ hurt. I need comfy,” I muttered to myself, opening up a dresser drawer. I pushed aside nighties and pajamas but couldn’t find what I wanted.

Jake cleared his throat next to me. “Colorful.”

“Shh. They’re my rebellion,” I whispered

“Panties are your rebellion?” Jake’s head tilted to the side. The angle drew my attention to his strong jaw.

With no impulse control in my drunken state, I reached my hand up. My eyes followed the motion as I ran my fingertips lightly along his jaw.

So soft and so hard, much like another part of him that I wanna touch.

I giggled and then sighed as I dropped my hand to continue my search for pajamas.

“Remember that awful black dress I wore when I was with James?”

“Yeah,” Jake clipped, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“That’s what my mother likes me to wear. Conservative, tasteful, and most definitely covering. A lot of neutrals and muted colors. When I was around fifteen, Anna, our… a friend of our family, introduced me to the wide variety of lace, satin, and silk. It’s all I’ve worn ever since. I might have on a dull beige dress but I’m Technicolor underneath. It’s my rebellion. Well, that and my hair.”

“Your hair?”

“Mother says ladies wear their hair up. I say ladies need to let their hair down. They need to get wild. They need to live. You know what I mean?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before going on. “I’m too tired for all this nonsense.” I closed the drawer.

With no thought to the fact that I had an audience, I pulled my shirt off and removed my bra before pulling my top back on. I slid my skirt down my legs and stepped out of it, kicking it in the general direction of the hamper.

When I turned towards the bed and caught Jake’s gaze, I belatedly realized what I’d done. There was no mistaking the heat in his hooded eyes.

I was drunk, but it wasn’t the booze that was making me feel brave. It was the way he was looking at me.

Like I was sexy.

Desirable.

Perfect.

I took in all that was Jake, every inch of him gorgeous. That someone like him would look at me the way he was? I realized I wasn’t feeling brave.

I was fearless.

Walking to where he sat, I stood in front of him and slowly lifted my left foot to the bed next to him. I undid my sandal and returned my foot to the floor, repeating the process with my other one.

I pushed Jake’s shoulders, relieved when he leaned back on his elbows. I put my knees to the bed and straddled his legs, letting my shoes fall to the ground before I moved.

“Baby, what’re you doin’ to me?” he whispered hoarsely as I crawled up his body.

“Feeling you.” I felt every hard inch of him pressed against my ass. I leaned down and lightly pressed my lips to his throat, jaw, and lips.

“I wanna feel you, too. But not like this, when you’ve been drinkin’. And not ‘til we talk about shit, yeah?”

“Yeah, I know.” I let my lips trail across his jaw again.

“Fuck, you’re killin’ me,” he whispered hoarsely. “Call me when you wake up.”

“Okay,” I agreed with a yawn, letting myself fall to the side off of him. I curled up on my bed, my eyes getting so heavy that moving to get under the blanket seemed like way too much work.

Further proving he could read my mind, Jake got up and pulled the blankets out before covering me with them. The bed dipped as he positioned himself behind me with the long length of his body pressed to mine.

Mmm, hot guy cocoon.

Wrapping his arm around my stomach, he pulled me closer to him and pressed a kiss behind my ear. “Night, sweets.”

“Mmm, hot guy cocoon,” I murmured as I fell asleep.