Chapter Three

 

Styx

 

I opened my cabin door to see Ky on the deck. “Phebe?” I signed.

“Not yet,” he replied and glanced in the general direction of AK’s cabin. “He texted me saying she’s pulling through. He’ll let me know when she’s good. And I hope it’s fucking soon. I can tell Li smells bullshit when I tell her nothing’s on my mind.”

I nodded then signed, “Why are you here?”

Ky put his hand over his heart. “Fucking wounded, Prez! Can’t your best friend just come to say hi?”

I raised an eyebrow and he laughed, flicking out his motherfucking tongue like he was licking Li’s pussy or some shit. I blew out a breath, and he said, “Fine. I’m here ’cause your stuttering ass is coming with me.”

“Why?”

“Just get your fucking cut and let’s go, asshole.”

I grabbed my cut, threw on my boots, and went to my Harley. Ky pulled out first and drove up the dirt track to the clubhouse. I pulled in beside him and followed him inside.

“Prez.” Vike sat at the bar, a slut in his lap. Smiler sat beside him, along with Tank, Tanner, and Bull. The last three got off their seats as we entered and followed Ky and me into church.

I remained standing as Tank, Tanner, and Bull took their seats then turned their confused asses to Ky. He handed me a sheet of paper and took a seat on his usual VP chair. I glanced down at the paper and saw the same old bullshit generic wedding vows Ky had spoken at his wedding to Li. And just like that, I felt the blood drain from my face. When I looked to Ky, he smiled, pointed to a real confused Tank, Tanner, and Bull, and informed me, “We’re your test dummies. Practice on us.”

I glared at my VP. When I looked to Tank, Tanner, and Bull, the fuckers were shifting in their seats uncomfortably. At least I wouldn’t have to murder them as well as my asshole best friend for setting me up with this shit.

“Fuck, Ky,” Tank muttered as he shook his head. “This is why you called us here?”

“Don’t look like the prez wants to put on a fucking show today.” Bull stood up to get the fuck out.

“He wants to speak at his wedding.” Ky glared at the Samoan to sit back down. He turned to me. “You do. So get some fucking practice now. We don’t care that you stutter. Ain’t no one here got the balls to rip you for your speech anyway—great Hangmen Mute and all that shit. We all kinda like our cocks. My massive one especially.”

I was gonna kill him. Real fucking slow and painful, and mess up his fucking pretty boy face.

“Read,” Ky ordered and reached to the center of the table for the Jack. He poured me a glass and slid it toward me. Still eyeballing the fucker, silently promising him a ton of fucking pain later, I knocked the shot back and slammed the empty glass on to the table. I paced back and forth as my brothers stayed silent and just watched.

With every step I felt the python wrap around my throat. But I read the damn stupid vows anyway, sounding out the words in my head. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to keep my shit together.

Come on, Styx. Man the fuck up, asshole. Then I stopped dead and, ignoring the pussy that I was and the fucking shaking of my hands, I ran my tongue along my lips and pushed out some motherfucking words.

“I . . . ” I shook my head as I growled the first word. My throat closed and cut off the words before I’d barely started. I clenched the paper tighter in my hands and tried again. Fuck-all came out, just hot air when my lips parted. Another Jack slid in my direction, and I didn’t even look up to see who’d supplied it. I knocked back the bourbon and closed my eyes, trying to calm the fuck down.

My pansy ass tried to imagine being at the fucking altar and seeing Mae walk toward me in white. Her fucking smile and her wolf eyes. I opened my mouth. “I-I-I . . . R-R-River, t-t-t-t . . .” Without even looking at my brothers, I kicked my chair and smashed that fucker against the wall. I pounded out of the room and into the clubhouse.

“You get your period, Prez?” Vike called after me. I didn’t even stop to kick his ginger ass. Embarrassment and anger ran through me like lava. I was storming toward my bike when a hand landed on my arm. I turned and immediately wrapped my hand around Ky’s neck. I walked him backward until I smashed his back against the nearest wall.

“Styx,” he said with his hands held out. “I was just trying to fucking help.”

“D-D-Don’t,” I snarled then released him so I could sign. “Don’t pull shit on me like that again, Ky, or I swear to fucking Hades I’ll slit your throat. Best friend or not. I promise I’ll kill you.”

“I was trying to help. This is eating you up, asshole. I’ve known you all your life. Don’t think I can’t see how it’s all getting at you.” Before I could answer, Ky’s cell rang. He answered immediately.

“She is?” He nodded, sighing in relief. “Thanks, man. Appreciate all you’ve done for her.” He put the cell back in his jeans, but I was already moving to my bike. I threw my leg over the saddle, and Ky called out, “That was AK. Phebe’s out of the woods. Gonna go and get Li. She’ll meet Phebe again tomorrow.”

Still pissed, I stuck out my middle finger and took off along the dirt path. Dust and stone kicked up in my wake, and I just fucking rode. I rode along the path until I looked to my left and in the field were Lilah, Madds and Mae. Grace was with them too. I killed my bike’s engine when I knew they hadn’t seen me.

I eased up the kickstand and moved to a tree that gave me the fucking perfect view of my bitch. She was braiding Grace’s hair or some shit as Grace played with dolls. Mae’s hair was down. And when she threw her head back and laughed at something Maddie said, my heart fucking broke.

I watched her pink lips as she spoke. I watched as she spoke to her sisters like not one of them had been raped as kids. Like not one of them had a fucking care in the world.

My hands were in fists as I tried to loosen up my mouth. As I silently mouthed the vows Ky had written on that fucking sheet of paper.

The sound of a bike roared across the field, and I saw Ky roll up and speak to Lilah and Grace. Grace ran over to my brother and jumped into his arms. The fucker’s million-dollar smile was out on full display as he lifted her in his arms and kissed her on the cheek. Then he looked over in my direction, and I saw his face fall.

As pissed as I was at the dick, I knew my VP was only trying to help. And as much as I wanted nothing more than to cut off his cock and stuff it down his throat, I knew the fucker would die for me too.

He just didn’t understand. None of them did. How the fuck could they?

Seeing something pulling Ky’s attention, Mae looked my way. The minute she saw me, that same blinding smile she always gave me spread on her lips. And like Pavlov’s dog, my dick hardened and my heart fucking nearly burst from my chest at the sight of her. Especially in her long black dress that showed off her baby bump. My kid that I fucking prayed to all that was holy didn’t inherit this shitty speech impediment.

Ky flicked his chin at me as he led Lilah and Grace back home. Maddie left Mae with a kiss on her cheek. And as I’d known she would, Mae walked toward me. As she came my way, I leaned back against the tree and worked on loosening up my throat. Then, with no one to hear me but the wind, the sun, and fucking Hades himself, I opened my mouth and spoke. “I-I, R-River N-N-Nash.” I sucked in a breath and watched Mae’s smile get brighter as she got closer, and I finished, “T-take y-y-you M-M-Mae . . .” My head twitched and my eyes blinked fast, the fucking tic I always had when I tried to speak. Then, when she was only yards away, I managed to finish quietly, “T-T- b-b-be my . . . l-l-law . . . l-l-lawfully . . . w-w-w-wedded . . . w-w-wife.”

I panted, out of breath, as I spat the last word of the vow. But I felt something in my chest break as the fucking vow was done. I would never be able to do this.

“River?” Mae whispered and took the final few steps until she was before me. “What are you doing here?”

I couldn’t fucking speak any more, so I held out my hand and pulled her down into my lap. Mae called out, laughing, as she gently landed on my lap and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She turned her face toward me and, before she could speak, before she could even ask me what the fuck was wrong, I crushed my lips to hers. Mae sighed into my mouth as I took her tongue with my own then broke away.

She settled into my chest and closed her eyes. I fucking let her as I stared out over the field, eyes focused on nothing. “I love you, River Nash,” she said sleepily. “I cannot wait to be your wife.” I squeezed her tighter; then she said, “We should go home. I am tired. I am struggling to keep my eyes open today.”

But I only held her tighter. I never wanted to let this bitch go. Taking a deep breath, I said, “St-Stay. St-Stay h-h-here w-w-with me.”

Mae looked up at me through her long black lashes and smiled, taken aback. Her cheeks were pink from the sun, and she’d never looked more fucking perfect to me. “Okay,” she said softly, her eyes closing again. “We will stay. It is warm enough, and I have you.”

As her breathing evened out and she fell asleep against my chest, I closed my eyes too and mouthed the vow once again.

I River Nash take you Mae . . . And I mouthed it over and over again until I fell asleep too.

Funny how I didn’t stutter in my dreams.