Eighteen
Twenty One Months Prior
“I’m heading out, Arbor.” Emily stepped into the doorway of the nursery and smiled at me rocking Faith to sleep. “Sorry,” she whispered.
“You’re fine. She’s in a coma.” I chuckled.
“I’ll stop in around lunch and bring you something to eat.”
“Something greasy and delicious.”
Emily laughed. “You’re dying for unhealthy food, aren’t you?”
“You don’t even know. Breast feeding has put a number on me, but since I can’t anymore, I’ve been craving a good juicy burger.”
“Well, I got you covered.” Emily bent down and kissed Faith’s cheek. “I’ll see you later. Take care of that sweet baby. I can’t wait to cuddle the crap out of her when I get home.”
“You know I will.”
They say you never know true love until you have a child. That couldn’t be truer. I’d always thought I’d be the person who never had kids, who spent life alone, watching everyone around me have family bloom over the years. But one unexpected night with an unexpected man changed that for me. Macie Faith Banks was a blessing in a tiny little blanket.
She was the quietest baby you’d ever met. Only cried when she’d gone to the bathroom or was hungry, the perfect doll-like girl, and my daughter.
I gently stood and lowered her into the crib. She was fast asleep, most likely would be for hours. She loved her naps just as much as Momma loved a little time to herself. I clicked the power on to the monitor and took the other one with me, turning it on once I left the room so it didn’t howl because the speakers were too close to one another.
The days seemed to fly by when it was just me and her in the house. Emily had taken the first two weeks after Faith’s birth off from work, but had gone back to handle not only her clients, but mine as well. I’d offer to do my part from home, but she refused to allow me. Said Faith needed her mother’s undivided attention while I needed to enjoy every moment because it would fly by before my eyes. How she knew all of that was beyond me. Emily didn’t have children of her own; hell, I wasn’t even sure she wanted any. It wasn’t something we talked about. But the smile that stayed on her face when she played with Faith was evidence enough that she would be a great mom. She handled her so well.
I’d gotten settled in on a good book when my phone rang. Emily’s name lit up the screen.
“Hey.”
“I really hate to ask you to do this, but I need someone to come pick me up.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, my damn car’s overheating and I’m a good half an hour outside the city.”
“I thought you were at work?”
“I was. Had to pick up some proofs for one of Dan’s new projects. I haven’t even made it to the place yet.” She huffed.
“No worries. I’ll wake Faith up and be on my way. Text me the address of where you are.”
“I’m so sorry, Arbor.”
“Don’t apologize. It’ll be nice to get out of the house for a bit. No worries.”
“Thank you! I owe you big time. After I pick up the proofs, maybe the three of us can grab lunch together. That way you get what you want and I get to see little miss Faith.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you in a little bit.”
Tossing my hair into a messy bun, I took in my appearance. The leggings I was wearing managed to make it through breakfast without catching anything, but my shirt wasn’t so lucky. I changed it and quickly turned off Faith’s monitor. She was sleeping soundly with her chubby arms resting above her head. She looked so peaceful I hated to wake her up, but I had to. It just meant she’d be taking another snooze once we got home.
I gently woke her and lifted her into my arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I know you’re tired.” I cooed and rocked her in my arms. She yawned but didn’t cry. Hopefully she’d fall back asleep once we got on the road.
My purse and keys sat on the table by the door, while the diaper bag sat beside it ready to go. I secured Faith in her carrier and slipped my phone in my bra. “They really should put pockets in leggings.” Faith giggled as I lifted her and walked to the door, sitting her down for a second to gather my things. I hooked my purse on my free arm, tossed my keys into it, and slipped the diaper bag over my shoulder before lifting Faith’s carrier to head out the door.
Getting onto the highway headed out of town was a lot easier at lunch time than heading toward the city. I was glad she wasn’t in the midst of all the craziness downtown. I’d have still gone to save her, but where we lived was closer to where she’d broken down than anyone in the city would’ve been. So I could see why she called me first. Time was of the essence when it came to doing errands for our boss, Dan. Every second counted. So the last thing she most likely wanted to do was call him and explain that she was having car troubles.
The reflection of a sleeping Faith in the rearview mirror made me smile. She was so peaceful, so beautiful, and almost unreal. About fifteen minutes passed and the fifth round of “The Wheels on the Bus” began to play as I took the exit Emily had broken down just off of. We came to a stop at the red light and the gas station was easy to see. Right down the road to the left. I could see Emily leaning against her car at the edge of the parking lot. She waved when she noticed it was me sitting at the front of the line waiting for the light to turn green so I could go.
My fingers tapped the rhythm of the song on the steering wheel as the light switched to green and I pushed on the gas. Someone was laying on the horn. I looked to the right, everyone was stopped. Then to my left…
My head was spinning and my vision was blurry. I rapidly blinked but bright lights were hurting my eyes and the constant beeping sound was giving me anxiety. The dryness in my throat was making it hard to speak. Every inch of my body ached. I finally managed to open my eyes and focus enough to see an unfamiliar face above me, moving what seemed to be a small flashlight from one of my eyes to the other.
“Arbor, can you hear me?” The man observing me continued to check my eyes.
“Wher—where am I?” I choked out, finally being able to fully focus my sight and the spinning of the room slowed.
“You’re in the hospital. You were in an accident.”
The machine beside my bed beeped rapidly as I tried to sit up.
“You need to stay still.” The man gently pushed me back to the bed.
“My—my daughter, Faith, where is she?” I began to cry.
I couldn’t handle if she was hurt. She needed her momma, and I needed her. I had to get to her.
“We need to focus on you for now. You’re pretty banged up.”
He completely ignored my questions.
This can’t be good.
“Where did you take her?” My screams echoed through the sterile room as an attempt to get the answers I desperately needed to hear.
“Ma’am, you need to calm down or we’re going to have to sedate you.” The man in blue scrubs tried to hold me against the bed.
“Get off of me!” I pushed with all the strength I could muster up, trying to get past him.
“You’re bleeding; we can’t allow you to leave,” he countered as he pushed me once more against the bed and a sharp pain shot through my arm. I sluggishly rolled my head to the side as a nurse pulled a needle from my arm.
“No…no…no...” I wailed as the medicine she’d given me washed through my veins.
They’d separated us instantly, without any information given.
How could they leave me in the dark?
This can’t be happening…
My heart thumped recklessly throughout my body as I forced the bile back down my throat. Thoughts of the worst situation possible flooded my mind as a nurse’s muffled voice told me I was going to be okay…everything was going to be fine.
I didn’t give two shits if I was going to be okay or not, the only thing that mattered was if she was going to make it.
She had to make it…because the last thing I could do was keep on living if she didn’t.
My eyelids were betraying me as they fluttered closed. I had no choice but to succumb to the darkness that was enveloping me. How could they force me into slumber without letting me know what I’d wake to? There were images of Faith dancing behind my eyelids as my body went slack and my mind blanked.
“Dan said he would be by sometime this week to check on you. Not to worry about coming back to the office anytime soon. I know you aren’t worried about that, he does, too, I’m sure. Arbor, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. If I’d just called a tow truck and not bothered you, things would be so different right now. I don’t want you to hate me; I pray you don’t hate me. I love you like a sister. More than I love myself. If you’d just wake up…I need you to wake up.” Emily clenched my hand in hers and sobbed against my arm.
That damn beeping.
I opened my mouth and closed it back a few times like a fish out of water.
“Water…” I choked out. “I need water.”
Emily lifted her head and quickly grabbed a pitcher of water from the table beside my hospital bed, poured me a glass and slipped a straw into it. She held the straw at my mouth so I could get a few drinks.
“Thank you.” I coughed and tried to sit up.
“Let me.”
I stopped moving and a brief second later the head of the bed began to lift upward.
“That’s good.”
Emily’s eyes welled with tears and she bit down hard on her lip.
“I’m so sorry, Arbor. God, I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. We’ll be okay.”
Emily shook her head and broke down in tears.
“You don’t know.” She covered her mouth with a shaky hand. “Oh, God. You don’t know.”
My heart rate spiked and a chill rolled through my body.
“What don’t I know, Emily?”
Intuition was rearing its ugly head. I knew what she was going to say before the words could leave her mouth. I didn’t want the words to leave her mouth because then it would be real.
My heart shattered into millions of pieces as I wailed with heartache. The one thing in this world that had given me purpose, that helped me be happy, had been taken from me in an instant.
“Please, no…tell me she’s okay…Emily!” I screamed.
Emily continuously shook her head as she sobbed a few feet from my bed. A handful of nurses came barreling into the room rambling different things before the familiar calming sensation ran through my body and my eyelids fluttered.
“My baby…”