Chapter Eighteen

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Tony wasn’t going to let her get out of this without a truthful explanation.

Caden held the pillow tight to her chest, her legs curled up under her on the bed. If she could ball herself up and disappear, she would. Those roaches had brought back heinous memories she thought she had buried years ago. Then again, maybe finally telling someone would get it off her chest and, more importantly, out of her psyche.

“You really want to know? Fine,” she said on a deep breath. “If you marry me--”

“When.”

“Right. Well, you’re marrying into one hell of a family, Tony. I hope you’re ready.”

He sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her close, rubbing her back and ready to listen to whatever she wanted to tell him.

“My mother was a drunk—brought a different guy home every night. We lived in low-income housing so the cockroaches were just a disgusting fact of life. I remember one night when I was about ten years old, I woke up and one of the bastards she brought home was standing over my bed. I didn’t know much about anything, but I knew he was up to no good. He tried to touch me, so I kicked him as hard as I could and ran into the kitchen. So far so good, right? Well, when I turned on the light, the garbage can was covered with roaches. I mean, you couldn’t even see the can, Tony. It was awful.

“I guess my screaming woke my mother from her drunken stupor. I think it was the way she reacted that shocked me the most. That bastard was going to attack me and she was screaming that it was my fault—that I was after her boyfriend. What mother does that to a ten-year-old?” Caden looked at him with eyes brimming with tears. “Things got ugly after that. My house was just a house from then on, not a home. I started to, um, develop, and my mom saw me as some kind of competition. A threat, I guess.” She blinked back tears. “I mean, how ridiculous, right? Anyway, I left when I was thirteen and never looked back.”

“Oh, baby…” Tony murmured into her hair, wishing he could find the fucker who had tried to molest her. He wouldn’t mind finding her mother, either. He wondered if they liked spiders.

“I barely survived on the streets,” she went on, lost in her own thoughts for a moment before her voice became stronger and clearer. “Then I met Diego. He gave me a place to stay and took care of me. He treated me with respect; he started out in the ‘friend zone’ and was happy to stay there. He was like the protective, big brother I’d never had. He wouldn’t let me strip or waitress until I was twenty-one. After that, he said I was a grown-ass woman and it was my decision, but he didn’t want me working for anybody else. He knew how guys like Santiago treated their women. I think he was probably scared one of his enemies might come after me to get to him.

“He’s been so good to me, Tony. He was the only reason I believed that all men weren’t assholes. So, he wasn’t happy with me when I got into a bad relationship with an abusive asshole who thought it was my job to support him.” She looked up at him again with big, soft eyes. “You helped get me out of that one, you know. Getting to know you online was like therapy. I realized I wanted a man who was…like you.”

“Well, you got him. So that makes me your second reason to believe that all men aren’t assholes. I told you I’d find out what you feared.” He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “The only reason I’m not jealous of Diego is because you never fucked him. You didn’t, did you?”

“God, no. We’ll never be anything but friends. He’s head over heels in love with Brook. But we’re a package deal, Tony. I love him like a brother and any man I’m with will have to accept that.”

“No problem, since I’m the only man you’re going to be with from now on. And I’m grateful to him for keeping you safe all those years. He kept you out of the dives and off the streets. So, he has my respect and gratitude, but he needs to understand that it’s my job to protect you now. You know, my dad’s going to want us to get married right away when he sees how serious we are about each other.”

“Oh, the whole ‘can’t testify against my spouse’ thing?”

“Yes. It’s insurance for the cartel, and it would work out pretty great for me,” he said with a wicked grin.

“Oh…so I’m insurance now.”

“You’re mine. That’s what you are.”

“Well, I don’t want to be on your bad side now that you know what I’m afraid of.” She laughed, but there was still the realization that this was a dangerous man who was learning things about her that she’d kept hidden for years.

“All’s fair in love and war, Caden. I think I’d put you under lock and key though. You’re too beautiful to have roaches crawling all over you in a plexiglass head box.”

“I know!” she said as she straightened, her face animated. “Was that not a trip? I couldn’t believe he put that much thought into how to torture somebody with their own worst fear. That’s some tormented shit.” She closed her eyes briefly, remembering Alicia’s bloody body in the stable. “And it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

“Agreed. This is some crazy shit. I need you, baby. We Ramirez men are a tormented lot. I need you with me. You soothe me.”

“And I need you to protect me.”

“That’s good because I need you to protect me too.”

“Really? From what?”

“More like from who.”

“Okay, then from who?”

“From myself.”

“Oh, Tony.” She tossed the pillow to the side and held him. If she was going to roll up in a ball and disappear, she needed him to disappear with her.

He looked up at her with need warming his eyes. She was his salvation as much as he was hers. “I need to tell you something, but I don’t want to break the moment.”

“How can you be so cold and yet so tender?”

“You’re the only one I’m tender with. Like I said, not to break the moment or anything but my father is going to use a woman for a set-up.”

“A woman? Really? But I thought you said he didn’t fuck around on his wife.”

Tony laughed. “I can assure you he doesn’t. My mother is a crazy cage fighting Amazon. She would kill the competition.”

“I’m among good company then. I’d do the same for you.”

“I’m flattered. No, he’s using this woman to set up a pompous bastard named William Briggs. A man who thinks he’s too good to sell a television station to us. But this particular woman? Well, let’s just say my father has outdone himself. Things are about to get very interesting around here...”