CHAPTER NINETEEN
Saturday, September 2nd
Claire stood in Brady’s kitchen and made deviled eggs for the tailgate party they were going to later. Today marked the start of Ragin’ Cajun Football season and she was beside herself with excitement. They had a couple of hours before they had to be at Cajun Field and she wondered if his brothers were coming here or if they were going to meet at the game.
She hoped to have enough time to start moving her things back to her house. She’d been staying with Brady since she got out of the hospital, and now that she’d mostly recovered, it was time to go home and get back to her regular routine.
Brady had been beyond generous and the last thing she wanted to do was overstay her welcome. And, if she was being honest, she needed to be independent again. If, for nothing else, just to prove to herself that she could. The last thing she wanted to happen was to let the shooting affect her life any more than it had.
Wiggling her fingers, she silently thanked the PT she’d been working with for being so relentless. If she was lucky, the nerve damage the bullets had caused would be minimal. Hearing Brady’s footsteps, she wished the same was true for him. Bracing herself, she got ready for Nurse Brady to begin his fussing. Which was about all he had to offer lately.
Another reason for her to move back to her house and get a break. Maybe if he saw her back to her old self, he would start acting like his old self, and they could get their relationship back on track. Because, as far as she was concerned, what they had going wasn’t very appealing.
She wanted relaxed, sexy Brady back, because the uptight, boring one wasn’t all that much fun to be around. They barely had been intimate in the last couple of weeks since she’d been cleared for activity and it made her incredibly sad. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to her in the same way he had been before and didn’t know how to tell her.
If there was a reset button for relationships, she sure would like to find it, because they were in need of one desperately.
A small basket slid across the counter and Claire looked up to see a thunderous expression on Brady’s face. “Why are you about to spit venom?”
“What the hell is that?” he roared.
She carefully filled the last egg and then wiped her hands on a towel. Looking into the basket, she shrugged. “My stuff that was littering your bathroom counters. I’m getting ready to go back home.”
“You are home.” He crossed his arms and ground his teeth. “No way you are going anywhere.”
She opened the box of Saran Wrap, pulled out a sheet, and hoped to God she got control of herself by the time she covered the plate of eggs. When the sheet got stuck together, she let out a little growl of frustration. “I’d like to meet the damn person who invented this. It never comes out easily. It’s like it was made to test our patience.” Raising her eyes, she looked at Brady and smirked. “Kind of like you.”
He walked over, pulled the crumpled piece of plastic out of her hands, and threw it in the trash. “That’s why there’s foil. It works much better.” He pulled the box out of the drawer and handed it to her. “Why are you trying to leave me?”
Setting the box down, she studied him. No way could he think that she was trying to leave him. She was just moving back home. Did Brady see this as her abandoning him? “Brady, I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“There is no damn welcome. You are home, where you should be. With me. In the house. Together.”
“Not to put too fine a point on it…but, what the hell are you talking about?” Seeing his expression made her wonder if he’d lost his mind. Did he think that when she came here after being released from the hospital, it was a permanent thing?
Because she’d never thought that.
For her, this was temporary. But seeing his expression made her believe that he was on a much different page than she was. Or perhaps a whole different book in another library, in a different city.
Brady ran his hand over his jaw and then looked up. “I thought we were moving forward in our relationship, and living together was the next logical step. I never guessed that you’d want to move out. I’d hoped it was permanent.”
Seeing his earnest expression made her feel like she had missed a whole conversation. Like the one that outlined what they were and where they were going and what all this meant. Maybe they’d had it and she was heavily medicated and forgot the whole thing. Kind of like when she drank tequila. Whole hours had disappeared from her life and maybe this was sort of like that. “Did we ever actually discuss this?”
He looked down at his feet and shrugged. “Not specifically…in so many words. It was just sort of…assumed.”
“In an alternate universe where I do not reside,” she replied. Sweet baby Jesus, this man was making plans in his mind and not letting anyone know. For a hot second, she’d actually thought she had agreed to something and had totally forgotten. But, in fact, Brady was making his plan and keeping it to his own damn self.
“Are you saying that you don’t want to live with me? Because if you are, that really sucks. You are my exact perfect other half. I don’t know about you, but I’m never going to find someone to fit me as perfectly as you. I love you, Claire.”
Pressing her hand to her heart, she felt all the protests in her brain disappear. Those were the finest words that anyone had ever spoken to her. Heartfelt and true. A tear slipped down her cheek as she stood in the middle of Brady’s kitchen and felt her heart tip into his hands. Without any effort on her part. It was as though it voluntarily moved out of her body and decided that it would be safe in his care.
For the first time in her life, she was completely vulnerable to another human being. And what that would ultimately mean, she had no idea. On a beautiful Saturday morning in September, Brady Landry stole her heart. How or what that meant, she couldn’t say. “Well…”
“I know this is a lot to take in. Just tell me that you’ll unpack that stupid plastic basket and put all your stuff back in the bathroom where it belongs. Think about it, Claire. That’s all I ask.”
Opening her arms, she waited for him so she could envelop him. It had always been the other way around and she felt like it was time to open herself to him. To make some small gesture that showed him he had her heart. God willing, he’d know what to do with it.
***
Brady watched Claire put her stuff back in the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief. Damn stupid plastic basket almost caused him to lose his shit. Running his hand over the back of his neck, he then shook his head. The thing he feared most had almost happened and it wasn’t anything he wanted to let happen again.
He knew he hadn’t backed off enough and the cold reality of her almost walking out the door made him realize he had to find a way. Otherwise, he was going to lose her for good. Which was unacceptable.
Somehow, he had to find a way to communicate his feelings so that Claire knew that the only home in the world for him…was with her. How he was going to accomplish that wasn’t real evident yet, but he was a smart man, and he would figure it out. One way or another.
Because never in his life had he wanted something as singularly as he wanted Claire. The first time they’d met, he’d recognized something familiar in her…something that called to him. She was the answer to a question that he had no idea he’d been asking.
She was his home and he hoped to God that someday she would feel the same way about him.
After their first date, he saw the possibility of their future roll out like a thousand miles of highway. All they had to do was join hands, get in the car, and let their life begin. Seems he hadn’t expressed any of that in a way that made sense to her. Watching her move stuff around in a drawer, he wondered how he could communicate his feelings in a way that bound her to him without making her think he was a crazy man.
He tilted his head and realized he had no flipping idea how to pull it off. Give him a hot extraction with a HALO jump in the middle of a firefight and he knew what to do. No questions asked.
How to tell the woman of his heart that he wanted her to stay and make a life together…no idea. Not one clue.
Shit.
Maybe he could ask his brother for some advice. After all, the guy did manage to get Lilly to fall in love with him. Which, as far as he could tell, had to involve some kind of dark magic. What other explanation could there be, considering they bickered right up to the moment they started kissing. If his brother could manage that, then getting Claire to fall for him should be doable.
Shouldn’t it?
He watched Claire walk out of the bathroom and come toward him. He held out his hand and waited until she took it. He scooped her up and settled her into his lap. “Thank you, darlin’.”
“For putting my stuff away and cleaning up the bathroom?”
“No, for giving us a chance. For staying.”
“I didn’t know that you wanted me to stay.”
He tipped his head against hers and let out a breath. “I thought when I brought you home that it meant you were here permanently. I know the closet isn’t great, but I spoke with my brother Brody, and the moment he has a free second, he’s going to help me build it out so you have plenty of room for your stuff.”
Leaning back, she studied his face. “You think I’m worried about where I’m going to hang my clothes?”
Shrugging, he shook his head. “Not really. It’s just easier to talk about the practical. If I start to tell you how much you mean to me, then I may scare the shit out of you.”
Patting his arm, she smiled. “Okay. But maybe just a clue here and there would help me understand what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking that I can’t lose you. I can’t let you out of my sight and take a regular breath. You are not the only one who understands loss. You are not the only one who is scared. I need you to be within a handspan so I can function.”
“Because of what happened at the mall?”
“No! Maybe…” Running his hand through his hair, he let out a frustrated growl. “I knew before we walked in there that I would lay down my life to save yours, and the idea of not having you with me on this journey is inconceivable. To have that idea tested like it was has put me on edge. I want to hold onto you as tightly as I can so I never have another moment like I did when I opened that door and saw you’d been shot.”
Feeling her hand run up and down his arm made his heart slow down. So far, she hadn’t run screaming from the room, so he figured that she wasn’t completely horrified by his confession. His whole life had been spent showing anyone who cared to look that he was as tough as nails and couldn’t be taken down. Turned out, none of that meant shit when it came to Claire because she could destroy him if she decided to leave.
Not anything he wanted to advertise.
“Well, a lot of things make sense now.” Pulling away, she gazed at him and ran her hand down his face. “I’m not saying that I’m going to permanently live in sin with you. But I’m not saying that I won’t.”
“Maybe I need to work on my communication skills so that I actually say what I’m feeling and not expect you to telepathically pick up on the subliminal messages that I send.”
“Yeah, we could probably use some practice on letting each other know how we’re feeling. Too bad we can’t be equipped with the FlickIt technology. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could mentally swipe my thoughts into your brain and have you instantly understand them?”
“Yeah, that would make my life a lot easier because you’re not always understandable to me. In fact, you’re pretty much a foreign country with a language I will never totally understand.”
“I guess that means we need to spend some time learning about each other.”
“Which we can because we are living together.”
“Guess so.” Leaning her head against his, she sighed. “Except…”
“What, Claire? Tell me what I can do to make this better.” When she tried to wiggle out of his embrace, he didn’t let her. Nothing good was going to happen if she was trying to get away. “Please, don’t leave.”
“I’m not. But I want to look at your face when we have this conversation.”
Releasing his hold, he picked her up and set her next to him. He turned and rested his hands on his lap. “Okay.”
She picked up his hands and rubbed her finger over them. “I want to go back to who we were before the incident in the mall. Your hovering and fussing are making me crazy and I don’t know how much patience I have left.”
“I know. Believe it or not, I’m working on it.”
“Brady, I love you and I want the sexy man back in my life and the fussy nurse you’ve become to disappear. We hardly have had sex, which makes me think you’re not all that interested in me. If we’re going to have a relationship, then I want it to be more like what we had in the beginning and less like what we have now.”
“Did you say you love me?” His heart thudded against his chest as he waited. He was pretty sure, but he needed to hear it again.
Claire ran her hand over his face and gently cupped his jaw. “I love you, Brady Landry.”
He pulled her into his arms and leaned back. Holding her, he kissed her head and felt the happiness wash over his body. Claire Hughes fucking loved him.
As that thought rattled around in his brain, he realized something else she’d said needed to be addressed. He lifted her chin and squinted. “I only held back from taking you the way I wanted because you’ve been recovering. I didn’t want it to be too much, so I’ve locked everything down until you were ready.”
“Brady, I’m ready. Unlock everything and give me all you got.”
“Honey, that may not be such a good idea. Let’s start out nice and slow and build up to all the dirty things I want to do to you.”
“Brady, if you want to keep me, I suggest you let go of that idea and do as I ask. If it’s too much, then I’ll let you know.”
Throwing his head back, he let out a laugh. “I better buy a lottery ticket tonight, ’cause I’m the luckiest bastard in the world.”
“You can, right after you remind me why taking you on is such a good idea.”
He answered her with a kiss. Claire had better get herself ready because he had a lot to show her.
***
“We’re going to miss the tailgate party,” Claire whispered as Brady slid his hands deep into her hair, tugging and pulling her head back.
“Yeah, we sure are. I’ve got to love on you and sex you up. Remind you that I’m the only man who will ever satisfy you.”
“Okay,” she whispered before his mouth descended. Thrusting his tongue deeply, he ravaged her until her lips felt swollen and bruised. The leash had broken and Brady was letting his desire and hunger free. Which was what she’d been waiting for. He pulled their bodies squarely together and she groaned when the enormous bulge in his jeans rubbed against her sex.
“You feel that, darlin’?” Grinding his hips upward, he grinned. “That’s for you. I’m going to fill you all the way up and make you lose your mind.”
“Yes, please. Show me, Brady. Teach me…”
He gave her one more punishing kiss before he pulled away and got rid of his clothes. Standing before her, he grinned like a lion about to consume his prey. Fisting himself, he slid his hand up and down his length as he licked his lips. “Can’t decide where I want to start.” Taking a step closer, he pulled her up and flipped her dress over her head and then got rid of her bra and panties. “Better.”
Crooking her finger, she laughed. “Come here.”
He moved onto the bed between her spread legs and brushed the tips of his fingers slowly through her soft, wet folds. The tenderness of his touch was so at odds with the possessive heat blazing in his eyes, which made her wonder how greedy and demanding he was going to be. Would he be merciless when he buried himself deep inside? Was she ready for something like that?
Probably. There was a part of her that wanted to be claimed by this powerful man. To be completely his. When he dipped and swirled his fingers, she felt her stomach quiver and her nipples peak in hard, needy points. Her body was so attuned to his touch that it wasn’t going to take much for her to come.
“You’re ready to take me,” he growled as he lifted her legs up and rested her ankles on his shoulders.
Aligning the engorged tip of his cock against her opening, he leaned all the way over until his arms were braced on either side of her head. “I’m yours,” she said quietly as their eyes locked. He reared back slightly and drove inside her in one hard, ruthless thrust.
She sucked in a shocked breath at the initial twinge of pain and surprisingly tight fit. “Oh…”
“I’m not deep enough yet,” he said as he pinned her beneath him.
Tilting her hips up, she felt her body accept more of his length as his taut body trembled. “Let go, Brady. I’m not going to break.”
Her words made him snap and he started to move, driving into her again and again. His hips surging faster and faster. Sliding deeper and deeper each time, dragging the head of his cock against the sensitive nerve endings just inside her channel until the sensation had her shifting counterpoint to his aggressive thrusts.
Not able to breathe or move, she could only let the climax build as Brady’s control finally shattered. He bared his teeth with a growl and pumped his hips until the relentless friction set off her release. Her entire body splintered apart as an exquisite sensation took her over the edge. Moaning, she tipped her head back and felt her internal muscles continue to flutter and tighten around Brady’s cock as she came and came. A scream of pleasure filled the room.
One last brutal thrust and he followed her over with a hoarse growl, his body jerking hard, releasing his seed deep within her body.
“That’s what I wanted,” she muttered as her ankles slipped off his shoulders. Pulling him close, she embraced him. “All of you.”
“Always,” he groaned into her ear. “As often as you’ll let me.”