Chapter Twenty-Nine
When I wasn’t sleeping, I spent the rest of my hospital stay talking. Talking to nurses and hospital staff about when I could leave, talking to Colton about plans to get back to the cabin and eventually back to LA, and talking to Ethan, who true to his word, never left my side. Ethan had been in contact with his PI and with the officers who visited me earlier. He’d figured out that Cate was behind bars momentarily with a pricey bond for her release. Ethan seemed to be under the impression that she would be staying there until her trial in a few weeks. Everyone told me there wasn’t anything to worry about, but I’d heard that before.
Colton had been in touch with my mother who was supposed to meet me at the cabin later. He'd also talked to Michelle, Jane, and Anthony who would also meet up with us at the cabin as soon as I got out of the hospital. He said my phone had been blowing up all day from my close friends and family. Luckily for us, though, no one outside of my inner circle had caught wind of the assault. In fact, Colton had been on the phone with Melanie, my publicist, making sure that no rumors were even whispered to the public.
Mason had arrived shortly after I had fallen asleep. He and I hadn't had much of a chance to talk. I could tell by the way he was carrying himself and the hard look on his face that he was beating himself up over what happened though. I made a mental note to myself that I needed to speak with him later to reassure him that none of this was his fault. Just like it wasn’t my fault or Ethan’s fault.
I still hadn’t really had time to process what Ethan and I were now that we had changed our friendship into something more. We hadn’t really had time to talk since that conversation. All we had were secretive smiles and hidden gestures. It felt like we were walking on eggshells slightly. Like we were in a bubble that if I said the wrong thing, it would pop and everything that I thought he said would be a lie.
Still, I couldn't mistake the way his eyes followed my every move or how the corners of his mouth curved slightly upward whenever we made prolonged eye contact. I couldn't ignore the way his fingers caressed my skin every chance he got – my cheek, my arm, the back of my hand. Every touch between us sent shivers up my spine and spiked my heart rate.
As we pulled up to the cabin, Ethan’s hand rested on my knee, his body pressed to mine. “What are you thinking?” he asked, lowering his head so he was looking at me through his eyelashes in a smoldering look. Colton was sitting up front in the passenger seat with Mason, giving Ethan and I some privacy in the back of the SUV.
I turned my head to look Ethan in the eyes, getting that flutter of excitement at how close he was to me. “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “So much has happened… with Cate, with you…”
Ethan’s eyes bore into mine trying to read my expression, a worried crease forming between his brows. “Are you okay? With me being here, I mean?” I watched his expression momentarily while the car stopped and the guys up front got out, leaving us in the car alone. He stilled completely, his eyes darting back and forth between my own waiting for my response.
“Of course,” I said, sliding my hand over the top of his. “Of course, Ethan.” I didn’t have time to offer any more reassurances as Mason opened the door to help me out.
We all stayed silent as I was helped from the car. I had agreed to use a wheelchair for the time being since my body was still very sore. Using crutches would have caused me more pain than anything. I felt pathetic as I dropped into the chair, but I couldn’t deny that it was very helpful. As Mason wheeled me up the walk to the side entrance so I wouldn’t have to climb any steps, we could hear a loud commotion coming from inside.
The screen door to the side entrance flew open in front of us when we got near, my mother standing there in jeans and a soft pink sweater, her blonde hair shorter than I remember, just brushing the top of her shoulders. Her blue-gray eyes, the same shade as my own, were bloodshot with obvious evidence of crying recently.
“Elena, baby girl!" My mother came towards me and wrapped her arms around me in an awkward hug, causing her to bend slightly at the waist to reach me as I sat in my wheelchair. "I was so worried! Thank goodness you're okay." She started crying again and I watched Colton place a hesitant hand on her back in an effort to comfort her. She continued blubbering, "I should have been here! This would never have happened if we had been here!"
“Hey,” Colton interrupted hesitantly looking between me and the back of my mother’s head as she continued to hold her arms around me. “Why don’t we get Elena inside and comfortable, then we can all talk.” My mom stood up and turned to Colton. He had a moment of blank fear on his face when he realized she was going to hug him.
“Colton!” she cried out with renewed emotion, wrapping her arms tightly around him, pinning his arms to his side. He shot me a look of disgust as my mother cried into his shoulder. I bit my lip to keep from laughing aloud, knowing Colton hated situations like this – open displays of sadness or crying made him feel really awkward.
Mason rolled his eyes walking past the sideshow that was my mother, opening the door and nodded for Ethan to push me inside. My mother realized what was going on and followed us in with dramatic sniffles, leaving Colton alone outside for a moment before I heard him follow us, sighing theatrically.
We rolled into the living room where we found Michelle, Haden, Jane, and Anthony waiting for us. They all stood up when we came in. I gave Anthony a half-smile and noticed him standing awfully close to Jane. He moved aside so Ethan and Mason could help me onto the couch, my mother hovering protectively behind me. Once settled, I turned my eyes towards Michelle.
She bit her lip, her eyes raking over my body, concern exuding from her facial expression. “Michelle,” I began, unsure where to begin. “Thank you for being there for me.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.”
Michelle stepped closer and grasped my hand within hers. "I'm just glad you're going to be okay."
After I was settled, Jane disappeared into the kitchen to make something for dinner. Michelle and Haden hovered nearby, recounting Michelle’s side of the events, causing my mother’s dramatics to increase. Anthony had stuck around listening to the conversation, occasionally giving me subtle looks that made me wonder what he was thinking. Finally, Mason and Ethan convinced the group to give me some space so I could get some rest.
“Of course, of course!" Mom said, rubbing my arm comfortingly. "I need to call your father, anyway. He's been worried about you, too." She walked out the room, already pulling her phone out of her pocket to call my dad. Michelle gave me a pitying smile as she and Haden followed my mother out of the room.
Mason moved to squat down in front of the couch I was lying on. He leveled his stern gaze with mine, “Okay, boss. You need anything you call me, okay?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for my response.
“Yeah, Mason, I’ll be fine,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
He narrowed his in response. “I mean it, Elena. You need rest.”
“Yeah, okay, Dad,” I mocked him. “I get it.”
“Hey, don’t worry,” Ethan said, nodding to Mason. “I’m not leaving her side.”
Mason looked at us and nodded, "I'm not surprised." He gave Ethan a pat on the shoulder on his way past as he left the room.
I turned to look at Anthony who still sat on the opposing couch watching me. He looked like he wanted to talk – and I knew I needed to talk to him. Turning to Ethan, who was sitting in the armchair right next to the couch, I looked over into his eyes. His green eyes were shadowed with dark circles and he badly needed to rest as well. Concern still masked his expression as his eyes met mine. “Ethan, would you mind getting me a glass of water?”
Ethan glanced between Anthony and me, his brows furrowing. “Sure…”
“And take your time,” I continued. “I need to talk to Anthony in private, anyways.” Ethan nodded. He reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a light squeeze, causing a happy warmth to spread through my body, before he released it and left the room, leaving me alone with Anthony.
I looked over at him, sitting casually, his right ankle propped up on his left knee. He leaned his head against his hand, his elbow resting on the armrest, while his warm, brown eyes raked over me. He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Is this when you tell me we’re better off friends?” he asked me.
I bit my lip, wondering where to begin. “How would you feel about that?” It felt like I was breaking up with him. And I hated breaking up with people. Grant it, I didn’t have much experience with it, but I still knew what it felt like. I had this similar feeling when I broke up with Sean after our brief fling during the first Monument film. Still, that was different. I despised Sean. I realized he was using me for fame and notoriety, so the decision was simple. This time was so much different. Anthony and I had sparked right away, fueled partly by Ethan’s words that I shouldn’t be so alone. Maybe we both read too much into our attraction toward each other. We had started out so explosive and now – compared to how I felt about Ethan – it almost felt like we never even had a shot. I was in love with Ethan before I even realized it.
“Elena,” Anthony said, dropping both feet to the ground and scooting to the edge of his chair. He leaned forward on his elbows, looking directly into my eyes. “You are amazing. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have been able to spend so much time with you lately.” I stared at him waiting for something to happen, for him to say something that would make everything okay. He continued, “I’ll be honest with you…I think I might have been a little blinded when it came to you.”
“Blinded?” I asked, confused.
“Blinded by your looks, by your lifestyle…just everything about you is unbelievable to me,” he said, clasping his hands together. “I got kind of swept away, but I mean… come on. You know what I’m getting at?”
“I think so,” I said. “We just got swept away with everything.” I gulped. “I think…that we might be better off friends…” I held my breath waiting for his response.
Relief flooded his features and he let his head drop, before lifting it again to smile at me. It was that same smile that drew me in the first time – a half smirk, half confident grin. “I completely agree.”
At once, it felt like a weight had been taken off my chest. Anthony and I were on the same page and I was so grateful. I didn’t want to be the bad guy. I didn’t want to break his heart, but I didn’t have to. We felt the same way. In fact, I still felt like Anthony might have feelings for Jane, but I decided not to voice that opinion aloud. “Thank God!” I exclaimed. “I mean you’re great, Anthony. I’m so glad we’ve gotten to know each other, but we are much better off friends.”
“Much better off,” Anthony said laughing. He stood up and dusted his pants off. “Hey, you get some rest, Elena. You’ve had a crazy few days. You need it.”
"Thanks, Anthony," I said, snuggling deeper back into the couch cushions and pulling the blanket off the couch across me. "Really." He gave me that confident grin of his before turning and leaving the room. I sighed contently and closed my eyes. With that off my chest, I was able to drift off into a peaceful sleep.
∞∞∞
Soft caresses across my face woke me up. I smiled in my half-awake state, the scent of Ethan’s cologne clinging to the air around me, and opened my eyes. Ethan sat on the coffee table next to the couch I was lying on. He was leaned over towards me, his fingers drifting across my cheek. His eyes crinkled in adoration as he looked down over me, a gentle smile appearing on his beautiful face.
“Ethan,” I said quietly, leaning my cheek into his hand.
“Elle.” His eyes scanned my face. “How are you feeling?”
I sighed and shifted on the couch, feeling for pain or injuries. “Ah,” I groaned. Everything still ached badly. I grimaced and Ethan withdrew his hand as if he thought he was the one that hurt me. “Maybe some painkillers might help.”
“I’ll go get some,” he stood quickly leaving the room.
I took a deep breath, settling back into the comfort of the couch beneath me and gathered my thoughts. There was so much to think about now. After everything Ethan had said…where did that leave us? He had said he would never leave my side again, but come on … that’s an illogical declaration with everything that we do for our careers. I don’t even know how to date someone. That was clear with everything that happened with Anthony and Sean before him. What exactly did Ethan want? Was he looking to settle down? Was he my boyfriend? I started breathing heavily as I began to panic about what was going on between us.
When Ethan returned with the painkillers, he found me in a full-blown anxiety attack. He dropped the pills on the table and grabbed my hands in his, kneeling next to the couch. “Hey, hey, Elle!” he said with alarm, his green eyes widened. “Sweetie,” he spoke more calmly. “Calm down! What’s going on?”
I focused my eyes on his while I internally focused on slowing my breathing. I was freaking out over nothing. Maybe everything that had happened to me recently was affecting me more than I realized.
As my breathing slowed, I looked over Ethan using his comfort to reel me back down. Those deep forest green eyes that always made me feel like home, his strong jawline currently peppered with stubble creating a masculine quality to his attractive looks, and the hard muscles that made up his shoulders and arms always providing safety and comfort for me. This was a man I had grown to love. I had always put his needs above my own desires. And I needed to make sure we were on the same page before we went any further.
Sorry,” I said, shaking my head and lifting my blonde hair off my neck to cool me down a bit. “I just… I got to thinking too much, I guess.”
“You’ve been through a lot, Elle,” he said soothingly. “I completely understand.”
“I don’t just mean with Cate… I mean…Well, what did you mean, Ethan?” I asked looking hard at him. “Everything you said…”
“I meant every word of it,” he said quietly, his thumb stroking the top of my hand as he gripped my palm.
“No,” I shook my head. “I mean, hang on. We need to backtrack a moment.” Worry clouded Ethan’s face, his eyes darkening. “When we stopped talking… before everything with Cate. In New York, you had said some pretty cruel things.” He hung his head, but didn’t say anything. His biting words from the fight still rang through my mind. I couldn’t forget everything he said. When someone you care about so much says such hurtful things to you, it’s easy to dwell on it.
I cleared my throat and continued. We needed to address this before I could accept whatever was happening between us. “I mean, you said I was immature and told me to stop pretending to care. That all I’ve ever cared about is myself.” Ethan continued staring at our clasped hands, not looking me in the eye. “And while I understand that you regret that. I still don’t understand what happened. How could you think I’m selfish? That I don’t care for you?” I waited patiently for him to respond. “Tell me you don’t really think that, do you?” I whispered.
Ethan let out a frustrated sigh. He ran one of his hands through his sandy blond hair, tousling it out of its slicked back style into disarray. The look made him even more attractive. “Of course not. I told you – I was just pushing you away.”
“But why?” I asked hating how pitiful and pleading my voice sounded.
“Because Elena,” he spoke urgently, looking directly into my eyes. “You deserve someone so much better than me. But I’ll be honest – I can’t stand seeing you with other men. When I saw you at the party all over that guy…” He trailed off shaking his head. “It’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. But I didn’t know how to correct it.” Seriously? He was jealous? He was a jerk to me because of some stupid jealousy?
“You had no right to be jealous of me and Anthony when you’ve been with countless women in the past few years. You have no idea what it’s really like to see someone you care about in the arms of another person,” I spoke passionately, my voice rising slightly.
Ethan just looked at me and nodded, taking my scolding, which made me even angrier. I continued, “I hated seeing you act the way you did. I hated seeing other women on your arm or hearing those god-awful stories of how you were turning into a playboy. But I stuck it out because I’d rather be your friend than ruin what we had together if I confessed to feelings that I didn’t even want to admit I had. Feelings I thought were unrequited because of how often you were with other women.” I sighed and looked deeply into Ethan’s eyes trying to get him to understand where I was coming from. “Everything could have been so different.”
“Elle, you deserve so much better than me,” Ethan said quietly, leaning a bit closer so our faces were inches apart. “I screwed up, okay? I can’t change the way I acted in the past. Just know that those women meant nothing. The things I said to you in New York meant nothing.” He gripped both my hands in his and squeezed in an effort to get his point across.
“Elena, I meant it when I told you…nothing means anything without you. I was so afraid of telling you or being with you because of how much you mean to me. I want to give you the world. I want to be the one to always make you smile and never make you cry. I want to be the type of man you deserve to be with. Someone who worships you – your beauty, your personality, your sense of humor, and your selfless caring heart. Because you are one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever met, Elle.”
My eyes watered at his words. I’d never heard someone say such sweet things to me and mean it. I didn’t know what to say back. So I closed the distance between us and kissed him. He kissed me back with so much passion, our breath leaving us in little gasps. His hands slid through my hair on each side of my head and he cradled my face in his hands. I tasted his lips, my heartbeat racing, my body needing to be closer to him. I shifted and groaned, breaking free of his enticing kiss, pain echoing throughout my body.
His hands stilled before pulling away from me. “You should probably not push yourself,” he said, giving me a seductive smirk that made me want to push myself right into his arms.
“You’re probably right,” I said rubbing my hand over the sore spot on my side. I glanced at Ethan as he settled himself back into a seated position on the coffee table next to me. "So what does this mean?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow in question. "I mean you and me? What do we do now?"
“Whatever we want,” Ethan said and gave me a grin, his perfect smile dazzling me. “I’ll always be here for you, Elle."
“Always?” I asked.
“Forever,” he answered, reaching for my hand and bringing it to his lips.
“For infinity?” I asked, smiling coyly.
“Infinitely,” Ethan whispered.