Weeks had passed since Melody was born, and to my surprise, Tyler never spent more than two hours away. I’d expected him to go back to spending most of his time at the club, like before. It was our main source of income, after all, but he hadn’t spent a single night away from us. He was able to process merchandise orders and look over the schedules once a week from home. I was starting to wonder if his role as a father had influenced him to try a new adventure: stay-at-home dad. Whatever it was, having Tyler home had been a blessing.
A few days ago, Tyler received some mail which indicated he was checking into going back to school. I’d held the envelope for several minutes before it registered. This was a big step for him, but my man was up for change. That Tyler was trying to pursue new goals made me proud, and I wanted to tell him so, but decided to let him come to me. This was his choice, and I didn’t want to influence it. By now, he had to know I would support him no matter what. Tyler had proven to me how responsible he was. I trusted him.
Three little knocks coming from the front door told me Val was here.
“Come in.” Hiding the giddiness in my voice was far too hard. I loved Val, and had been looking forward to spending time with her.
“Hello, Mama. I brought food, because I’m starving.” She laughed, and my first instinct was to hug her as soon as she walked in. With her arms full, there wasn’t a chance we could without her dropping the food, though.
“Just in time, because I’m starving, too. If you hadn’t brought food, we would be making mac-and-cheese from the box.” I’d been thirty seconds away from making the cheap pasta when she got here.
She looked at me. “If I’m still hungry, then you’re fixing me that mac-and-cheese. Hell, yes. I haven’t had it in such a long time.”
“You’re such a liar, I made you a batch three weeks ago.” I laughed.
“That’s what I’m saying, a long time ago.”
Twenty-one days is a long time? She’s a nut.
We laughed together while Val started pulling containers from the paper bag.
“What did you get?” My nose was picking up all kinds of different spices, and I was confused.
“A lot, I wasn’t sure what I wanted or what you’d want. So, we’ve got: a feta salad, a turkey wrap, a chicken and noodle soup, and this is a serving of tortellini in rose sauce with garlic bread.” She pointed to each container in turn.
“I think you have lost your mind.” It was just the two of us.
Val shrugged. “We both know there won’t be anything left. And if there is, you’ll have it ready to heat-n-eat later.”
“True, and thank you. So, what brings you here today? Aren’t you working at the shop?”
“I was, but I have a four-hour lunch break, so I’m here to see you and Miss Melody Jane.”
“You should come more often. I like having people over,” I confessed placing some glasses and soda on the table. Pointing at the spread of food, I asked, “Which is mine?” At this point, my stomach didn’t care what food it got, so long as it got it fast.
“You can have the pasta, I think I’ll have the wrap.”
“Sounds good. It looks delicious,” I said looking at the warm pasta and cheesy garlic bread. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but damn, a woman had to eat.
As Val peeled the paper away from her sandwich, sauce dripped everywhere. “Jesus, you gotta love spicy southwest sauce.” One lick at each finger, and she went for a bite. “Okay, I lied to you,” she said with her mouth full.
I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. Val didn’t lie to me, not now or ever, so what was she talking about? “Lied? About what?”
She sighed. “Tyler is at the shop with Kyle and Levi. Apparently, Tyler is thinking about taking a real estate class, and is discussing it with K since he took one years ago.”
Oh. This was serious then. If he was talking to his friends about his decision, then it wasn’t meaningless or fleeting.
“I saw a packet in the mail for him, but he hasn’t said anything to me yet. It seems like he’s researching.”
“He is.” Val took a second bite of her wrap.
“Maybe he needs to validate his thoughts before talking to me about it. Although, I don’t know how he’ll take classes and manage the club.”
“The club is easy money, Bekka. He makes a lot from it. Tyler owns the building and the lot, and it’s paid for. He hired a guy when Melody was born who deals with opening and closing, and helps with inventory, et cetera. Tyler only needs to order the supplies and sign the paychecks,” she said with a quick move of her hand pretending to sign a paycheck as she unveiled the truth about Black Shakers.
All of a sudden, I felt… off. Why hadn’t Tyler talked to me, the mother of his child, before going to his friends? It was our future, not theirs.
“I didn’t know.” This frustrated me.
Why did she know all this stuff and I didn’t? How did that make me look? Like an ignorant girlfriend. Of course, I knew the club made great revenue, and that financially speaking, Tyler had no issues whatsoever. His Porsche and our remodeled house were proof of that. What made me ignorant was that I hadn’t known about the new guy. Or that he flat-out owned Black Shakers. Not knowing these details sucked. To me, they seemed rather important, and I would’ve thought Tyler would share such things with me. I guess not.
Val rolled her eyes. “He’s your Mr. Mysterious. Don’t worry about it, Bek. I bet he didn’t want to bore you with business stuff when you have so much going on already.”
“I’m his girlfriend, and the mother of his child, which doesn’t give me every right to his life, I know, but I still wish he’d said something.” While it still frustrated me, so what if Ty had hired someone who gave him rest and freedom? I’m sure it felt good to Tyler, and having him home all the time had been a blessing to me. I shook it off. “Never mind, I’ll talk to him later.”
“I might be cutting my hours at the club down, too. I don’t see Miles enough, which makes everything harder.” She sighed. “I don’t want to lose him. He’s my man.” Val flipped her hair to the side. “There are days I thank the sky for putting him in my path. I loved John for years, but I’m so happy he’s my ex now.” A cute giggle came out of her. “Miles has captured my heart like I never thought possible.”
“You’re in love, Val, and it’s serious. No need to worry.”
A quick shrug of her shoulders was all I got before Val went quiet for a bit. “We’re both so busy with new jobs right now. It’s hard finding time.”
“You guys do have a hectic schedule. You work day and night, seven days a week, and so does he. When is his next gig?”
“Saturday night. It won’t be here in Seattle, though. I think he said Tacoma.”
“Ooh, sounds like you’re going on a little road trip.” Dancing in my chair with excitement for her, I wanted to go, too.
She shook her head. “I can’t go. I have two appointments on Saturday, and we have puppies at home.” A long sigh escaped her. “I’m with a veterinarian, so I should expect situations like this, right?” Val’s laugh was half-hearted while she shrugged with a “what can I do” expression on her face.
“Puppies? As in, plural?” I would love to have puppies. Why was she complaining?
“Yeah. The owner of the clinic brought in a pregnant dog who’d been hurt and gone into labor. The puppies are now seven weeks old, but mama still can’t stand on her own, so they’re treating her at the clinic. Meanwhile, we took on three of puppies.”
“What breed are they?” I asked, my interest piqued. I’d been thinking about getting a dog. With Tyler and me being home all the time now, we could get one…
“A mix of Poodle and Boston Terrier.” Although I was having a hard time imagining what the dogs might look like when they matured, they sounded super cute.
“I want one,” I blurted. A second of thinking on it sufficed for adopting a dog in my opinion. I’d grown up with a dog, so the routine walks and feeding were familiar; I knew what I was getting myself into.
Val had been mid-bite on her wrap and stopped, looking at me in surprise. “Are you sure? You want two babies at once?”
“Yeah, I’ve always loved dogs. Remember Carlos?” We’d had a Pinscher who was like a brother to me, until he passed away at fourteen. We’d played together, and even taken naps together. Whenever I was lonely, my dog always comforted me. I liked the idea of giving that experience to my daughter. Maybe this puppy would help Melody Jane in the years to come.
“Yeah, that was such a long time ago. You used to take him everywhere with you.”
I nodded. “That’s why I want my daughter to have a puppy. Carlos gave me so much.”
“Knowing Tyler, he may not approve.”
Oh, come on! He could never say no to me or Melody.
“When do you think they’ll be ready to go to new homes?”
She frowned. “Miles said they should be about eight weeks before they could be adopted. I’m sure he’ll want to keep one. Where he grew up was nothing like our place. He has such patience with animals now because of it. It’s a passion for him.”
“Talk about a hot veterinarian.” I laughed. “I’m kidding. I think he’s passionate like Kyle and Levi are, each in their own way. Tyler had a rough time of it a few years ago, but I don’t think he has that same fire in him. He likes his club and hanging out there, but at the end of the day, it’s business.” Maybe his thing was business, though; so managing an enterprise would be his passion.
“That’s because you don’t see how he’s looking at you. You’re his main focus. His passion. He’s looked at you that way since we were called in to interview for the job,” she said, all but calling me oblivious.
I… I hadn’t known. The idea of being his muse – sort of – flattered me, and meant a lot. A man should have a passion, something to drive him. If Val were right, and I was Tyler’s inspiration, so much pressure would be off my shoulders.
We demolished all the food Val had brought while chatting about this and that, catching up. Did we eat too much? Hell, yes, and I didn’t feel guilty about it. Thanks to breastfeeding and the exercise routine Tiffany had put together for me, my body was coming back. Albeit, slowly; I wanted to get back to my former slim figure, but not as a short-term goal. My daughter and feeling good about myself were my main goals. Starving or cinching my waist with corsets were never in my plan. Besides, Tiff would’ve kicked my ass for that.
Little Melody woke up minutes after Val left. In her room, I changed her diaper and fed her. While she was in my arms, I started thinking about Tyler, and what Val had told me. He was making plans to change his future. Reorganizing years’ worth of old habits by hiring someone to hold down the fort while he stayed at home with the baby and me. It impressed me to know the lengths he was willing to go to, but… My man must have good reasons, I told myself. I just wish he’d talk to me.
Since finding out I was pregnant, staying home with the baby the first year had been my plan. Working on my career would be next. Unlike most people, I ended up having a baby before launching my career. The reversal changed things, and meant joining the workforce wouldn’t be as easy as if I’d been able to straight out of college.
“Hey, beautiful.”
My heart jumped in my rib cage and my hold on Melody tightened. “Ty, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Sorry. How long has she been up?” he asked before kissing my lips.
“Not too long.” I smiled at him. “Val came by. She brought lunch.”
“I know. I was at the shop,” he confessed. “I had to talk to Kyle and the shop seems to be the only place I can see him.”
“About what?”
Staying quiet for a moment, he moved to sit on the child-size chair in the corner of the nursery. A gift from the gang, it was hand-carved and quite durable. “I want to be a respectable father and, someday, husband to you. Working at the club has been amazing. I’ve spent many years having a good time there, but I’ve also seen things I don’t ever want my child to see. So, I think it’s time I do something else.” He paused, and my vision clouded with tears. “Buying the house ignited something in me, Bekka. Kyle knew a lot of things I didn’t, but I still felt like I was in my element. Remember, he studied to be a real estate agent before he started tattooing? Anyway, I’m thinking about taking classes to become a real estate agent. I’ll keep the club open for a while, so we don’t have to worry about money, but once I’ve made a name for myself in the business, I’ll close the club and remodel the building to open my own real estate agency.” His eyes stayed on me. “All the preliminary research I’ve done shows that part of town is lacking enough representation. The neighborhood is ripe for the market, it just needs picking by the right agent. Me.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of change. You must’ve been thinking about all this for a while now. I wish you would have told me sooner, we could have talked about it—I mean, we can talk about it now.”
“I didn’t want to worry you.” His voice was a whisper.
“I wouldn’t have worried, Ty. You have to confide in me sometimes. I promise I won’t break. We’re adults, and a couple.” Protecting me had been his main goal since we’d started dating, but sometimes I wished Tyler would stop worrying about hurting me. A whole new career was an important matter. Life changing, even.
“You’ve been doing so much, and sleeping so little, since Melody was born, I didn’t want to add more.”
I blew him a kiss for being so thoughtful. “Regardless, I think you should jump into this. Do something you love.” Life was short. We had to find happiness everywhere we could.
“You think?” He looked lost, and I thought I saw a flicker of doubt in his eyes. The club was everything to him, all he’d known for years. Wondering what life would hold after the club held had to be stressful for Tyler.
“I know,” I said, and nodded with confidence.
He started nodding, the smile on his face spreading. “I’m going to do this. I’m going to start a new life for us.”
In that moment, I was enthusiastic for Tyler and his new beginning, but also wondered what else he’d kept from me. Was this something he did often, or just this once?
This isn’t the first time, remember?
He hadn’t said anything about the new guy he’d hired for the club. I didn’t think Tyler wanted to hurt me or keep secrets, but he needed to include me more. I didn’t keep secrets from Tyler. He knew pretty much everything about me, all my thoughts and dreams. Every evening we tried to take a moment for the two of us, which was how sharing every single thought with him started. I’d known from the beginning that Tyler was dark and mysterious. He’d let me in and shown me his world, but he was still holding back.
Why? I had no clue. Deep down in my heart, I had to believe he had his own reasons.
In my arms, Melody began wiggling and making noises, and appeared to be done nursing. Much to the contentment of her father.
“I miss her, can I hold her?”
“Well, yeah. Absolutely.”
As he took our daughter from my arms a little sparkle shone in his eyes. “Hello, beautiful,” he cooed before burping her.
I watched them in silence; their father/daughter bond had grown a lot since the day she was born. Her eyes were round with curiosity while he spoke to her, and her little fingers reached for his mouth, where he gave her kisses all the time. Although she was still little, they shared something special, I could tell.
While they enjoyed their time together, I went downstairs to clean the mess from Val’s visit. The food containers were still on the table waiting to be put into the trash, and the dishes needed doing.
It was mid-afternoon, the sun still shining bright, when I turned around to see Tyler and Melody all ready to head out.
“Hey, baby.”
“Where are you going?”
“Grab your things, we’re going out.”
If only it were that easy. “Wait, we can’t just up and leave. I have to get the diaper bag ready.”
He laughed. “Already done.”
“Wh–where do you want to go?”
“Outside, you never get out anymore. Let’s go get some fresh air and see our friends.”
“Okay,” I said, now anxious. It worried me to go out in a rush. What if we needed something we forgot to bring, or what if Melody started feeling unwell?
“Babe, stop freaking out. I can see on your face that you are. We got this. We’re going out for some fun as a family, and if for whatever reason Melody isn’t well, we’ll come back. We aren’t going far.”
Am I that obvious? Leaving the comfort of our home had gotten harder with each day gone by. Tyler had been taking care of the errands. To be honest, I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone out. “I’m okay.” Trying to convince myself seemed like the way to go.
“Come on, I’m driving,” he said plucking my key from my purse like a child would steal candy from a jar. It made me laugh, and my stress levels eased a bit.
I’d only driven my new car once, and that was before we’d become parents. Tyler had a point; I was becoming agoraphobic. The total opposite of who I was. Going outside, or wherever he planned on taking us, was a perfect way to spend the remainder of the day.
“Next time, give me more than thirty seconds to get ready, though. I look like crap.”
“No, you don’t. You are a natural beauty, and you don’t need a ton of makeup to prove it.” Flattery, as always, would get him anywhere.
While I got settled in the car, Tyler buckled Melody into her car seat and then, we were on our way to... I still didn’t know.
“Where are you taking me?
“We’re going to the park for a bit.”
The park? I’d never seen Tyler in a park before. He wasn’t the type of guy who enjoyed the outside world. At least, I didn’t think he was. All I could do was trust his plan.
As promised, we went to the park. His arm around my waist as we pushed the stroller along the walking trails made feel good. A simple moment at the park was giving me a sense of pride and put a smile on my face I couldn’t ignore even if I tried. Fresh air and exercise were an excellent combination for reviving the soul.
“See? It’s just a walk. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, everything’s okay.”
“I know. It’s just... oh, I don’t know. I can’t really explain it.”
“You can’t hide away inside the house and cut ties with the world, babe. There is so much for us, for you and Melody, out here.”
“I get it, Ty. My energy is running low, that’s all.”
Of course, I knew what he was saying was true, but my reasoning to stay home was simple. First off, I wanted to. Most days, I was too tired to think, so didn’t have enough the energy to invest in a social life or conversations. I was okay with all of this. I’d thought Tyler was, too.