The third eye is where your conscience lives. Here, an individual not only can sense and see what’s going on but evaluate its true meaning. Ethics and a sense of justice originate from this chakra.

I’m not the right man for you.

His last words clang around my mind as I sit in utter shock, my gaze still locked on the bakery’s glass doors. He walked out on me. We were having a nice time; there was even some sexual tension buzzing around our bodies, as though we both wanted more. Much more.

I think about the intensity of his kisses in the studio and on the street. The sensual way he swirled his tongue around my fingers as I fed him. He was into me. All in. And then…nothing.

Worse, I watched it happen in living color. Literally. His aura changed so fast it was like watching a mood ring change color when different people put it on, one after the other.

Red…sexual desire.

Orange…excitement.

Shades of green…insecurity.

Shades of blue…fear of speaking the truth.

Indigo…deep feeling.

Black…grief.

All of it speaking to a man who’s confused. He seems down-to-earth, pleasant, easygoing, and then when something stirs his feelings, he doesn’t know how to handle it. He shuts down. Closes off to me and those around him. I don’t get it.

I’m dumfounded, trying to figure out what I did wrong.

While I sit there staring, Ricardo comes over, making a big show of resting his ass in the chair Silas vacated.

“Two thousand five hundred sixty-one dollars and some change.” He grins wickedly.

I frown, trying to understand what he’s talking about but mostly just stare at him blankly.

“The amount of money in my bank account.” His chest puffs up with pride. “Told you that boy would be back. Now give me all the deets. He ran off so quick I didn’t even have a chance to make up a reason to come over to your table and introduce myself personally.” Ricardo’s hopeful tone and smile make my heart sink.

“He’s gone, Ricky. I think this time for good.” I don’t even recognize the sorrow and sadness in my own voice. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Worse because I know what it means for our child.

Silas isn’t going to be capable of being a part of the baby’s life if he is unable to be near me. I can’t imagine what it feels like to go through the tumultuous myriad of emotions the way he did when he sat with me. It was like one of those kaleidoscopes. Peer through the looking glass, spin the base, and see all of the colors change, weaving into one another. Only his colors didn’t provide beautiful new images to gawk at. His were like watching a man being shot in slow motion. One second he’s alive and full of life, the next, he hears the shot—shock, fear, and surprise on his face—and then the bullet strikes. That’s when his face shows recognition of his fate, of the lifeforce bleeding out of him, and then resolution and, finally, death.

I could never willingly put him through that again. Heck, I don’t want to put myself through it.

He cringes. “No way. Nuh-uh. No man can look at a woman all enamored and hanging on his every word like that and not be interested. How’d you mess up with him? Tell me, and I’ll tell you how to make it better.”

I shake my head and grab his hand. “No, I’m serious. I think he’s gone gone. He said something about being the wrong man for me. Like he wasn’t good enough.”

He purses his lips and rubs at his chin. “Well, that I believe. No man is good enough for my baby girl.”

I slump into my chair and run my fingers through my hair, pulling the long mane over to one side. In a moment of clarity, I make the most important decision of my life: I’m not going to let this go. He needs to at least be given a chance to conquer his demons. There’s something far more important on the line than whatever is plaguing him, and that’s the little love growing inside me. Our child.

“I need to get through to him,” I say, absolutely committed to my mission.

Ricardo frowns and squints. “Why is it so important? If he’s just another guy you hooked up with, it shouldn’t matter that much. It’s not like you have a vested interest in him.”

I open and close my mouth, not sure how to tell him I do have a vested interest, a huge one. A life-altering one. Except the buzzer in the back kitchen goes off.

“We gonna get any help back here?” Mama yells from the back of the bakery.

Both Ricky and I stand, jumping to action. “Tonight, Luna’s coming over. We’ll order pizza, and I’ll tell you everything.”

He narrows his eyes. “Meaning you haven’t already.” The sass in his voice cannot be missed.

“Ugh. Let’s just talk about it later, okay?” I lift my hands, clasped in prayer, to my chest.

He puckers his lips and clucks his tongue. “Fine. I’ll bring the wine.”

I’m about to tell him not to bother and then think better of it. He’ll definitely need it when he hears my news. “Great.”

---

Two separate knocks sound on my door at the same time. I hustle to the door, already knowing who it is. Both Ricardo and Luna have the security codes to get into the building, but Ricardo has a key.

I open it to find both Ricky and Luna all smiles and welcoming energy. One is holding up two bottles of wine, the other a box of pizza.

My mouth starts watering instantly at the smell of cheesy goodness. I’m not sure if it’s mental, but since I found out I’m pregnant, I want to eat all the time. As though my mind and body had a discussion and agreed now was the time to have the largest appetite in the world. This does not bode well for my physical appearance. If this keeps up, by the time the baby comes, I’ll be the size of a house. Mentally, I remind myself to add an extra yoga class into my normal weekly schedule. Maybe that will make up for the overabundance of extra calories.

“Hey, guys!” I swing open my door, letting them both in.

Ricky goes straight for the wineglasses while Luna sets down the pie. She’s wearing a pair of tattered jeans, a skintight tank, and a gazillion bangles that clink and chime like little bells as she moves. Two separate crystals hang from her neck. One on a long chain that runs down past her breasts, the other on a choker right at her neck. I finger the quartz.

“Feeling the need to ward off some negativity today?” I question, noting her aura is a pensive silver at the tips of her normal gold tones. Luna takes after her mother and is a natural healer and divine spiritual leader for all the yogis in the area. It’s not typical to see something hinging on concern in her aura.

She flattens her lips into a thin line, her facial expression one of uncertainty. “Yeah, I got a weird call from the building owner. He warned me he was thinking of selling. Did you receive a similar call?”

I shake my head. “No, but my father would have been the one to receive it. I imagine apartment sales are like this. If our landowner sells, it usually just means we are getting a new landlord essentially. Right?”

The silver in her aura flickers and pops around her. “I guess. I just have a funny feeling about it. I’ll know more in the coming weeks, I guess. Besides, we’re not here to talk about me. We’re here to talk about you and that yummy cocoa bit of sexy I saw you sucking face with earlier.” Her blue eyes sparkle with mirth.

“You were sucking face! You did not share that information with me!” Ricardo walks around the kitchen counter and sets down two glasses. Luna grabs hers and instantly takes a sip. I stare at mine like it’s got a virus attached to it. Even the smell of it is strangely turning my stomach a little.

I grab the glass and move our little party over to the couch before groaning and flopping down onto it. Luna sits gracefully next to me. Always the one with poise and tact. Ricky sits across from us in the single chair. My studio apartment isn’t big and has an open floor plan, so my bedroom is completely visible to the rest of the space. It means I always have to keep my bed made and clothes off the floor in case I have visitors.

“It was so hot, Ricardo,” Luna gushes, making me squirm in my seat. “They were totally going at it. I swear if I hadn’t interrupted, they would have been on the floor doing the naked pretzel.” She laughs and smacks her thigh.

“Not true!” I pick up a throw pillow and nail her with it.

She nods repeatedly. “It is!”

I sigh and flop back into the couch. “Not that it matters now. He came over to the bakery to talk. We chatted a bit, talked about his wife, who passed away. That was part of my original issue…”

Ricardo sips his wine and shakes his head. “Wait a minute. You never told me he had a wife.”

I glance down at my lap and away. “I didn’t know at first. We had the best night of sex, all over his house, and then when I woke up, I saw pictures of him and his happy wife all over the place. I freaked out. Thought he betrayed his wife and daughter. So, I bailed.”

“His daughter! He has a kid?” Ricky asks, shock in his tone.

“That was the other thing that freaked me out. I opened a door and found a pink nursery. Except… I didn’t see even one baby picture with his wife. Only pictures of them together. Weird, right?” I cringe and rub at my suddenly throbbing forehead.

Ricky nods. “Yeah, it is.”

“My mother still has baby pictures of me in the hallway, and I’m twenty-six years old,” Luna adds.

I inhale fully and let it out slowly. “It is strange. Anyway, long story short, I jumped to conclusions, thinking he had a wife and I’d accidently jumped into bed with a scumbag cheater.”

Ricky’s and Luna’s faces contort into expressions of disgust, but neither interrupts.

“When he came to class on Saturday, I yelled at him for making me his mistress. He said I had the wrong idea, but I didn’t believe him and left thinking that was it. This morning, he shows up outside Lotus House again, waiting to talk to me.”

“And how did it get from a one-night stand, to a yelling match at Lotus House, to you and him making out, to him coming to the bakery and walking out?” Ricky queries, summing up my drama rather nicely.

“He walked out?” Luna gasps. “No!” Her voice crumbles with misery as if it happened to her.

Man, I have good friends. Worried about me to the point they’re sad for me.

“Yes!” Ricky answers for me, his indignation obvious.

I groan and cover my eyes. “When he came today, he was flirty, which reminded me why I was attracted to him in the first place.” I frown, forcing those thoughts out of my head. “Anyway, he made me listen to him. He cornered me up against the hallway wall, which was so hot, you guys, you have no idea.” I fan my face, my temperature rising with the retelling. “Then he told me he’d been married, but he’s now widowed.”

“Oh no.” Luna’s voice lowers, filled with emotion for a person she doesn’t even know. Kindhearted, my girl. “Do you know how long ago?”

“He didn’t say, but his aura was showing he’s still grieving, yet I get the feeling it wasn’t that recent. Also, he never brought up his daughter.” Which is weird. Period.

“Do you think something happened to his kid and wife at the same time?” Ricardo’s eyes seem to get bigger by the millisecond, a sheen of sadness passing through them.

Holy shit! That could be it.

“Oh, my goodness. What if he lost his kid too?” I gasp and place my hand over my mouth and belly, gut-wrenching acid swirling in my stomach. “Losing both at the same time could easily break a man like him.”

Both Luna and Ricky nod and take swallows of their wine.

Not thinking straight, with this possible new information swirling around in my head like a tornado, I add, “Makes the secret I’m keeping from him even harder to tell.”

I shake my head, the misery coating my tongue, clogging up my throat and making tears prick at my eyes.

“What secret, baby girl?” Ricky asks softly.

Luna places her hand on my knee. “Yeah, what are you not sharing?”

I close my eyes and sigh heavily. “You know the one-night stand we started talking about?”

“Yeah. Go on…” Luna nudges.

“Well, I got a little more out of it than a half dozen orgasms and a lifetime of memories to relive.”

Ricardo shakes his head. “No, baby girl. Don’t even say it…” he warns, his face paling, expression guarded.

Luna’s brow furrows, and she looks at Ricky and then at me and back again. “Say what?”

I swallow down the fear and doubt I’m doing the right thing by telling my best friends, but I can’t go through this alone. Not anymore. Especially after Silas left the way he did this evening.

Mustering up all my strength, I whisper the two words I’ve been afraid to say: “I’m pregnant.”

Ricky hisses, and Luna gasps.

“Fucking hell, baby girl!” Ricardo stands up and starts pacing. “And with a fucked-up creeper who may look exactly like Jesse Williams, which means your baby is going to be fine as fuck, but damn it all to hell. The man has a screw loose!” He keeps pacing, to the kitchen and back to the couch, all of ten feet, before turning around again. “Obviously, if he got up and walked away from you after a night of carnal delights. Sweet baby Jesus. Now I’m going to have to be a father figure. Shit!” He runs his hands through his slick black hair, messing it up, layers falling to the sides of his head.

I can’t help it… Watching him rant sets me off into a flurry of much-needed giggles. The situation is dire, yes, but it’s not like I don’t have a job, a family, and amazing friends, all who will love this baby to the moon and beyond. I’ve got money in the bank. I can be a single mom if I have to and still be completely fulfilled.

Ricky stops pacing, sets his fists on his hips, and glares at me. “This is not funny. You’re pregnant, and the baby daddy’s jacked in the head! At least tell me he has a good job. Please!” He looks up at the ceiling and repeats himself. “Please, for the love of God, make this man rich!”

Prayers granted.

“He’s the owner of Knight & Day Productions,” I admit.

“No way! He’s Atlas’s boss.” Luna taps at her wineglass.

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Have you talked to Atlas about him?”

“Honestly, the thought never occurred to me. Besides, I kind of need to see a doctor, make sure the baby is healthy and everything is all right before I tell him. And I definitely want to tell him before I start telling the people he works with.” I’d be pissed if the situation were reversed.

She bites down on her lip. “Yeah, that would probably be wise. What are you going to do right now, though?” Her hand comes back to my leg, and she rubs a soothing path along my thigh. Her energy switches, green tones mixing with her usual gold.

“Nothing I can do besides eat right, take prenatal vitamins, which Mama already stocked my cabinet with, and wait. Maybe he’ll come around.” I shrug, trying to play nonchalant, but every fiber of my being is telling me to hunt him down and make him see I’m worthy of his attention. And he’s worthy of mine.

I’m just not confident what the end result will be. Will he even care I’m pregnant with his child? What if he did lose his daughter and wife at the same time? He never told me what happened to her. Maybe this is the universe’s way of giving Silas a second chance at having a family.

Ricky pulls me out of my thoughts by putting two slices of pizza in front of me. “Eat. The baby needs food.”

“The baby isn’t even a real baby yet.” I roll my eyes but pick up the plate because I am hungry. I glance at his lap, and there’s no plate of pizza on it. “Where’s yours?”

He grabs my untouched wine glass and pours it into his almost empty one. “Liquid dinner.”

I snort-laugh once more, the situation so ridiculous, and yet, I’m glad I told them. Having a couple of friends and my mother to lean on right now is exactly what I need.

“Thank you both for being here. For not judging me.” I pick at the crust on the edge of my slice.

Luna clutches at her chest and almost chokes on her wine. “Heavens no! Dara, we’re your friends. We’re here to support you in whatever life throws your way. And a baby is something to rejoice in.” She beams daggers at Ricky, her voice rising in accusation.

He holds up his hands. “What! Speak for yourself. I’m allowed to be nervous. I’m about to be a dad!” he fires off as though my problem is his problem.

“No, you’re not. Relax, Ricky,” I implore tiredly. God, all I want to do is go to bed early and forget this day ever happened.

“Oh yes, I am. If this baby needs a male father figure, I’m going to be it.” He points a thumb at his chest with pride.

I shake my head. “You’ll be Uncle Ricky and an important part of his or her life, yes. The baby already has a dad, and something in me believes…no, knows Silas will step up. I just have to get up the nerve to tell him. Eventually. When I know for sure the baby is fine. I have a doctor’s appointment in a month. After that, I’ll know more. The baby should be around seven weeks by then. The books say it will have a heartbeat and the doctor will be able to make sure everything is moving along as it should.”

Ricky comes over to my side of the couch and squeezes his lean body in next to me, placing a hand on my flat belly. “Have you thought about names? Ricardo is a really nice one.”

I tip my head and look up at him. “Really?”

“It is! Strong. Hispanic.”

“My baby’s father is African American…and maybe some Caucasian. I’m not exactly sure, but I know he’s a brotha. Definitely not Hispanic.”

“What about your biological family? You could be Hispanic! You don’t know! You look like you’ve got some Latina in you. Swear it!” He makes a show of crossing his finger over his heart. “Sassy and spicy like one for sure!” He holds out his forearm against mine. “See, our skin tone is almost the same hue! Definitely Latina! So Ricardo fits.”

I chuckle and shrug. “My birth certificate only has my mother listed. No father. And she’s listed as African American, but my guess is I’m half and half. My father thinks I’m half white, but it’s really anyone’s guess.”

Luna sits up straight. “Is it true what they say about…you know…”

“Yes,” I answer swiftly, already knowing what she wants to know. It’s a female thing. We have radar on this type of question.

She tips her head. “I mean about his…”

“Yes,” I answer directly.

“I’m talking about his…” She gestures to the general vicinity of her lap.

“Luna, honey, I get you, girl. Totally get you. And yes. He’s hung like a freakin’ horse.”

Which reminds me: I’m not going to be getting any more sexy time, so I flop back and sigh dramatically.

“What?” She rubs at my arm.

“Now who’s going to want me? I can’t drink. I’m going to get huge, and I’ll be having another man’s child. I’m going to be a statistic with a baby daddy but no man. Ugh!” I groan and cover my eyes. It never really hit me until right now: I’m going to be alone raising my baby. Sure, I’ll have help from my parents, but it’s not the same. A child deserves two loving parents like I had when the Jacksons adopted me. I went from nothing to something amazing. I want that for my baby. I’d always hoped to have a huge family. Every dream I’ve ever had consists of me being a mother, wife, and baker. The perfect life.

Ricky puts his arm around my shoulders and forces me to cuddle against his side. “You have no idea how you turn heads everywhere you go, sweetheart. Hell, half the time I see you in one of your short dresses, I get a semi.”

I cringe and push at his chest, but he doesn’t let me go. “Gross! You’re like my brother.”

“Don’t I know it,” he says solemnly, as if he really is hurt that I don’t see him in a romantic light.

“You’re joking. Please tell me you’re kidding. You don’t want me like that. Do you?” I choke on the question. It tastes so weird on my tongue I can hardly breathe.

He shakes his head. “God no! But your body is banging, baby girl. Tits and ass don’t lie, and I am a man. I may tend to go for the pretty boys, but I’ve been known to get down with a woman when the moon and the stars align.”

Luna gasps. “You mean you’re not totally gay? Whoa! Now that is news to me!”

Ricky shuffles his shoulders. “It ain’t no thang. It’s not like it needs to be spread around. It’s like when you hate coconut the fruit but love the water or the rum! If the ingredients are just right, you can be swayed to sample the dish.”

Luna laughs. “So, you’re mostly gay, but you reserve the right to be swayed to the opposite sex.”

He perks up, smiling widely. “Exactly.”

She takes a deep breath. “Ooookay. Remind me never to try to hook you up.”

His eyes bulge. “Hook me up a million times over. If you’ve got a hunky ginger brother, I’m all in, honey-pie!” Ricky shifts his chin from left to right in a “Mmmhmm” gesture.

I slap my hand over Ricky’s mouth. “Just stop talking. Your I’m-gay-not-gay-sometimes is cray-cray.”

“I’m into people and sex, not labels,” he asserts emphatically.

“Now that I can live with.” I wink, and he kisses my temple.

The three of us look at one another and then all sigh, loudly and heavily.

“So, what now, preggo?” Ricky asks.

“Don’t you dare start calling me that!” I dig a finger into his ribs. “We’re keeping this secret, which means on the down-low. Definitely until I know the baby is okay and I’ve figured out how to tell Silas. Got it?”

Luna nods, and Ricky follows.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but…” I hold up my hand. “Solemn pinky swear on this shit right now.”

Luna has zero problems hooking her finger with mine. Ricky purses his lips, ruffles his hair, and tries to ignore the request.

“Ricky, I need you quiet on this one. Pinky promise, or I’m never talking to you again!” I threaten.

His eyes narrow. “You wouldn’t last a week without talking to me, baby girl.” He links our fingers dramatically and swings them.

He’s not wrong. I wouldn’t last a week without begging him to talk to me. We’ve been best friends since junior high. I’m the first woman he ever kissed. He’s the first boy I ever kissed. That kiss freshman year sealed the deal on us forever being friends and never more than that. Then, four years later, he confided he was into boys as well as girls, which started a whole new era, but I was there for him as he’s always been there for me.

As crazy as my BFF is, he’s one of the most important people in my life, and not being able to talk to him for a week makes my heart ache just thinking about it.

“You’re right. I love you too much,” I admit.

He grins. “I knew it! You’ve always been in love with me. Since our first kiss freshman year.”

Luna has heard this story a million times, so she just plays along and laughs.

“Time to get some music going. We are not at a funeral. We are going to celebrate this new life and my pending awesome uncle status.” Ricky jumps up and heads for the stereo, a jitterbug in his step.

“Hear, hear!” Luna lifts her wineglass.

I pick up a slice of warm pizza and raise it up. “Hear, hear.” Then I take a massive bite, chew, and thank God for good friends.

For the next eight months…I’m going to need them more than ever.