As fast as Lloyd insisted they put together a funeral, Court Stenet rallied to the occasion, but Bretta was the mother of their queen, so it didn’t really surprise Mac. The fact that it was finally over was a relief. The day turned out to be a ferociously long one, and it’d taken a supreme effort of will to keep himself together. When they’d arrived, and he was confronted with the sight of his grandmother’s body laid out, he’d had to clench his fists tight to keep his promise.
He’d nearly lost the fight when his grandfather walked up to her and slid off her mating band. Lloyd carefully leaned his body over her and gently dropped a kiss on her forehead. Mac sucked in a breath and was shocked when Lloyd demanded that Mac be the one to light her pyre. He took the torch in his hand and said good-bye to the woman who’d helped shape him. An apology fell from his lips for never bringing Idris to her and for the mating ceremony she would miss. Then he told her how much he loved her before setting her body to blaze.
Mac wrapped an arm around his frail grandfather and stood patiently while court members offered speeches about what Bretta meant to them. All the while, Lloyd kept up a steady barrage of commentary about how silly Alfred’s high crown was or the fool who was talking that Bretta hadn’t even liked. His grandfather was using humor to keep the sadness at bay, but it was a welcome relief when they all headed into the big house Alfred owned for refreshments.
Moina came up to Mac and hugged him. He refused to add to her grief and embraced her back, but they’d spoken little. His half sister hadn’t come near him or Lloyd, and he wanted to slap her for ignoring her own grandfather. Carter, his half brother, stared owlishly at Mac in his D’Vaire regalia but he’d acted like a man and shook his hand while extending words of comfort. It pleased Mac that the young guy had at least some scruples…despite his parentage.
They’d finally managed to return to the small house Bretta had called home. Mac and Lloyd hadn’t hesitated to get out of their formal wear. Comfortable in jeans and an old flannel shirt, Mac grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and headed out to the deck, where his grandfather was already waiting.
“Took you long enough,” his grandfather grumbled good-naturedly as he took a bottle from him.
Mac sat down in the chair next to him and sucked down half his beer in one swallow. “Sorry.”
“Some funeral, huh? Bretta would’ve hated it.”
“The food wasn’t bad.”
“Moina told me not to eat too many sweets. I didn’t raise her to be stupid. I’ve got hours left on this earth at best. What does it matter if I spend it eating cookies?”
The tears Mac had held at bay welled in his eyes. “What am I going to do without you and Grandma?”
“Don’t you dare be sad. Bretta didn’t want that. She’s waited so long not to be in pain anymore. You know she suffered, but she was going to be damned if she left before you were taken care of. You were her boy, and she needed to know you were in a good place. I can’t tell you how excited she was when you went to D’Vaire. She cried tears of joy when she found out about your Idris. She’s happy now, and I can’t stay here without her.”
Mac scrubbed away the wetness from his cheeks. “Idris loves you guys.”
Lloyd’s heartsick gaze met his. “Does he love you?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why the hell aren’t you mated?”
“He wants to, but we need to wait. Once he’s High Arcanist, we can plan everything.”
“You’re smarter than that, Macardle. You were taught from the day you were born that nothing’s more important than a matebond.”
“A few weeks isn’t going to make any difference. We love each other. We live together just as if we were mated.”
“Your wizard may have the potential for immortality, but there are no guarantees in life, Macardle. You need to be mated.”
“I’ll talk to Idris.”
His grandfather held out a hand. Resting in his palm were the two mating bands Lloyd and Bretta had worn. “You’ve got a fancy metalsmith there at D’Vaire. I think your grandmother would’ve liked to see our rings used again. Maybe you could work them into whatever design you choose.”
With trembling fingers, Mac grabbed the two pieces of jewelry. “Thank you.”
“Maybe you’ll think of us before you do something stupid. It’ll be a good legacy for us both.”
Mac let out a watery chuckle. “It’s going to be poor Idris stuck with keeping me in line, you know.”
“Fate must think he’s up to the task.”
“I doubt there’s anything Idris can’t handle.”
“Macardle, I’ve never told you how to live your life, but I don’t think you should come back to Court Stenet when I’m gone. Clean out what you want from the house. Then go to D’Vaire without looking back.”
“Mom?”
“What about her? Do you see her around? Didn’t even say two words to us after the funeral. Her mother was probably spitting nails on the other side of the veil. I’m sure the two of us are going to have quite a talk when I get there. I’ve gotta tell you—I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a long day without her.”
“First time in over two thousand years you’ve been alone.”
“You understand, I’d stay if I could live without her, right? I love you, Macardle, and it breaks my heart to know we won’t be here for you, but I need Bretta.”
Mac lifted his head and couldn’t see the stars through his tears. “I know,” he whispered as he sucked in a deep breath. “As hard as it is for me to believe I have to let go of you both, I’ve always known how strong the love is between you. I’m not mad at you for wanting to join her but damn, I’m going to miss you both.”
“I want you to love Idris the way I’ve always loved my Bretta. You might not be able to talk to us every day, but we’ll always be with you, Macardle. Right there in your heart. You and Idris are immortal, and as long as you keep us close in your thoughts, we will be too.”
“I promise you, I’ll continue to love him with every piece of me.”
“Good. It’s the only way you’ll be happy.”
“You taught me how to love, so I know I’m up to the task.”
“Macardle, I always wanted a son. A daughter’s wonderful, but a man wants to mold someone in his own image. I know you’re Moina’s, but you’re also mine. I want you to know that. Bretta and me—we always considered you our boy.”
“I was yours. Mom came and went, but you guys made me who I am.”
“Pretty good for my ego to see my boy wearing such fancy duds today. To know you’re worthy of a place like D’Vaire. That it was your own ability and honor that got you that job. Makes me feel like I might not have done such a bad job raising you.”
“I’m a D’Vaire because of you and trust me, there’s no court as great as the one I call home now.”
“Don’t you let anyone take advantage of your Idris. I know you have those parents of his sniffing around.”
Mac finished off his beer and opened a second one. “I have to let Idris make his own decisions. He’s young, and he needs to feel like I trust him enough to do that.”
“That’s all fine and good, but he also needs a partner he can rely on.”
“He can rely on me.”
“Everyone needs someone to steer them in certain situations. You’ve plenty of experience with dysfunctional families. You know his parents can’t be up to any good.”
“If it comes down to it, I’ll do what I can to keep them from interfering, but I honestly think Idris isn’t going to allow himself to be fooled into any plan they have. He’s got some deep anger about his childhood, but he’s not ready to discuss it.”
Lloyd nodded sagely. “He’ll need to get that out someday.”
“I’ll be there to listen when he is.”
“You think that boy of Alfred’s is gay?”
Mac’s head whipped to his grandfather’s profile. “Huh?”
“I like to think I’ve gotten good at figuring out when a young man fancies other men. I raised a gay son. I think that Carter’s gay.”
“For his sake, I hope not. Alfred isn’t tolerant of anything.”
“Stupid fool will lose his son if I’m right, and your mother will let another of her children slide through her fingers because she apparently doesn’t have a lick of sense. How the hell did Bretta and I go so wrong with her?”
“You didn’t. She was taught her mate goes above all else, and so he does.”
Lloyd turned to Mac and his heartsick eyes blazed with anger. “That doesn’t mean you ignore your children. It’s about balance.”
“Stop blaming yourself for the way she’s treated me.”
“I’m not sure I can do that.”
“Then you aren’t getting another beer.”
“You’d keep it from a dying man?”
The words were said with humor, but Mac couldn’t ignore the truth of them. He flipped off the top of a bottle and handed it over. “Of course not.”
“Don’t go getting glum. I love you, Macardle, but I’m going to kick your ass if you spend what time we’ve got left together wallowing in misery. Focus on your mate. It makes me proud you’ve such a wonderful young man, and when the time comes, I’ll be celebrating on the other side of the veil as he becomes High Arcanist. I like knowing I never have to worry where you’ll land. You’ll have your king and everyone else there at D’Vaire.”
“Idris is incredible.”
“I was thinking about him while Bretta’s pyre burned. It made me think back to two decades ago. I was so mad at Fate. I couldn’t imagine what she’d been thinking. That old king of ours died, and I expected you’d be carrying his title but instead, it was Alfred who got the crown. Now I know your Idris had already been born, and Fate knew this wasn’t the place for such a fancy wizard.”
Mac smiled. “I never thought of that. I gotta admit, I thought I was going to be made king too. I’m the only black dragon here, but I figured Fate knew what she was about and perhaps I wasn’t meant for that. Now I know I wasn’t. I have two Council wizards to protect. There aren’t even kings who can say that.”
“I’m proud of you, and I love you. No matter what waits for you in life, I know you’ll be able to handle it and when you need me, find me in your heart, Macardle. I won’t lead you astray.”
“I love you too, and thank you for every gift you’ve given me in life. I’ve always known how lucky I was to have you and Grandma.”
“You’re a fine boy. Now I’m heading off to bed. I want to dream of my Bretta.”
Mac helped his grandfather to bed and as he’d watched him do to his soulmate hours before, kissed his forehead. It was impossible not to wonder if he would ever have the chance again. With his heart in his throat, Macardle flipped off the light and left him alone. More than anything, he needed Idris. Mac was going to have a good cry; then he was going to make use of his grandfather’s computer to chat with him. It wasn’t enough to hear Idris’s voice. Mac needed those beautiful indigo eyes to remind himself of all he had to live for.