Chapter Six
Jesse sat in one of the oversized chairs in the center of the only men’s store in Brighton as Johnny spoke with the owner. He’d asked Jesse to come with him today to look at suits for his upcoming wedding to Gabe. It had been almost a week since the attack in the parking lot and both he and Travis were back to work at the diner. Though Jesse had been avoiding any talk of the fight, he had apologized to Travis, who like everyone else, refused to blame him.
Jesse knew he’d been acting distant from everyone since the incident but he couldn’t let go of the guilt he was carrying. It felt as though he couldn’t stand up straight with the weight of it all sometimes.
“Jesse.”
He looked up to find Johnny standing a few feet away. He looked nervous, which immediately put Jesse on alert. “Johnny, what’s wrong?” Jesse asked as he scanned the area. Nothing seemed out of place but that didn’t mean a thing.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just need to talk to you about something,” Johnny replied softly.
“But you’re okay, right?” Jesse asked. He would do anything to make sure the gentle man was not hurt by any of this. Johnny was kind to everyone and deserved the good stuff out of life, not the shit following Jesse around.
“Yes,” Johnny confirmed with a smile. “I just wanted to ask you something. It’s important to me and I’m a little nervous.”
“You can ask me anything. We’re friends after all. If you need something I’m here to help.” Jesse didn’t know why Johnny was nervous, but he’d do anything to help his friend.
“I wanted to ask you to be my best man, and if you agree I brought you here today to get your measurements for your suit.” Johnny sat down beside Jesse, his eyes fixed on a mannequin a few feet away.
“So you brought me to get a suit before you even asked?” Jesse couldn’t help but tease a little; in all good conscience he wouldn’t make Johnny wait long for an answer. Or it might have been the fact that he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. “Yes, I would be honored to be your best man.”
Johnny turned, eyes bright with tears. “You will?” he asked.
“Of course. We’re good friends, Johnny,” Jesse assured.
“Before I came to Brighton I was never given a chance to build any real friendships. Only families my father deemed to have the right kind of children to associate with. The best money could buy,” Johnny stated sarcastically. “Not one of them knew the real me or even cared.”
“I care about you and I see the real you; you’re a kind and generous man who I’m honored to call a true friend,” Jesse said softly, not wanting others in the store to hear their private conversation. “Now how about we pick out a suit for me because we both know it’s going to take a while for them to tailor it to my body.” To stress his point, Jesse flexed his muscles, making Johnny laugh just as Jesse had planned.
Hours later, Jesse had been measured from top to bottom and way too closely to some personal places in between. They decided on a dark gray single-breasted, three-piece wool suit. Half the time it felt like Johnny and the tailor were speaking in their own special language about cuts, how it hung, vents…Jesse was lost but Johnny was happy, and that was all that mattered.
“You’re going to look great,” Johnny gushed. “Has Royce ever seen you in a suit?”
“Well, considering this is my first one…no,” Jesse teased, and smiled at a happy Johnny. The man could light up a room when he smiled.
“He’s going to be blown away. You’ll rock that suit, I promise,” Johnny said, and Jesse found he had a little less weighing him down compared to earlier. He had friends, he was a best man, and he had his first suit. All things he never thought would happen. Then add the man who meant everything to him, and his world was just about perfect. If only Jerry and his men would leave town, then it would be.
“How could I not look amazing with you overseeing everything? Now we need to get back to the diner before the guys send out a search party for us.” Jesse laughed.
“Okay,” Johnny said and the two headed for the door.
As they walked they discussed all the things a best man was responsible for, considering Jesse had no idea what it entailed. Thankfully, both he and Royce were in this together because Jesse had never been close enough to anyone to be considered their best man. Johnny was still talking about flowers and colors when Jesse noticed an older-model van with darkly tinted windows drive by for the second time. Johnny was oblivious to the possible danger. Either that, or Jesse was overly sensitive to changes around him. Jesse scanned the area in search of any one of the Sentinels who should be watching over him, and found Coop on the opposite side of the street, talking on his phone and watching the van like a hawk.
As they approached the diner, Jesse noticed two black SUVs were parked along the side of the road and one police vehicle was in the process of pulling over the van.
“Wow. I wonder what that guy did wrong to get Officer Bo’s attention and why are there Sentinels here?” Johnny asked, watching Jesse closely. “Wait, is something wrong, Jesse? Are those the men who keep following you, your family?”
“I’m not sure. The van’s driven down the street three times since we left the men’s store. They’re just being careful.” Jesse was pretty sure it was Jerry or the last two of his men, but he didn’t want to worry Johnny and ruin their day.
“Let’s get into the diner. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this,” Johnny said as he sped up into an almost jog.
Jesse went with him and made sure to keep his body in a position to block any view of Johnny from the van. The last thing Jesse wanted was to have another person hurt because of his past.
When they opened the door, Royce and Gabe were already coming their way.
“We just saw the police and were coming to get you two. What’s happened?” Royce asked while scanning the street. “Who’s in the van?”
“Not sure but they’ve driven around the block three times so far. I guess it raised Coop’s suspicions and he called in the troops,” Jesse explained.
The four watched along with everyone else in the diner as two of Jerry’s men were pulled from the van. Jesse hung his head in shame. They’ll never give up, it was only a dream that I could live in peace. Solid arms wrapped around him, giving Jesse the strength to open his eyes and look down into a pair troubled green ones. Royce didn’t say a word, for which Jesse was grateful; he just held him, lending Jesse his strength.
“You don’t be worrying about those evil men, Jesse.” A soft voice came from behind him. Royce released him, allowing Jesse to turn around to be met by two older men. Both had to be in their eighties, one with a cane and the other with a walker. Jesse had seen the pair in the diner every afternoon since he’d started working here. “My husband and I are too old to give those men a run for their money, but we have strappin’ children that want to pitch in.” Children. Jesse had often dreamed of adoption when he was a child, hoping his parents would send him away to be raised by anyone else.
Jesse stood in shock. These men wanted to help protect him, even though they really didn’t know him. It was humbling.
Three middle-aged men stepped forward and shook Jesse’s hand. “We haven’t had the opportunity to introduce ourselves but Royce knows us well.” The tallest of the three spoke: “I’m Bill and these are my brothers James and Chad. We’d be happy to volunteer to help in any way possible. We have a few hands on the ranch as well, who would like to help search for any of those bastards left. Nobody messes with the people in our town.”
“Language, young man,” one of the older men scolded. Jesse laughed, seeing how contrite Bill was.
“Sorry, Pa.”
Before Jesse had a chance to say anything Royce stepped in. “Thank you, guys. We appreciate any help you can offer.”
“Yes, thank you. I’m honored you want to help us,” Jesse said. “Please stay safe though—they have no issue with using weapons and I don’t think they’re worried about anyone getting in their way any longer,” he explained.
“Don’t worry. We live in Texas. I’d say about eighty percent of the people standing in this here diner are armed,” Bill said. To prove the point several people in the diner produced various handguns; even old Ms. Chan, who ran the local knitting club, pulled out a bedazzled .380 caliber gun from her flowered handbag. “And all of ours are legal. I doubt they can say the same.”
“Let’s get going, babe, that’s enough for one day,” Royce suggested, but Jesse could tell there was something bothering his partner. Maybe he’s finally getting sick of all this bullshit going on around him. Jesse’s heart plummeted like lead, and a sick feeling filled his stomach as he searched Royce’s eyes for answers. Royce simply looked as concerned as Jesse imagined he himself was appearing right about now.
First he had to do something he dreaded doing. “I’m sorry, Gabe and Johnny, but I don’t think I can be one of your best men. I don’t want anything to happen at your wedding.” Jesse couldn’t risk anyone getting hurt at his friend’s wedding.
Suddenly his arms were full of a distraught Johnny. “No, you’re my best man, period. The wedding is months off and everything will be cleared up by then.”
“I don’t want to risk you.” Jesse tried again but Johnny wouldn’t hear it. He simply gave him a watery smile and followed Gabe to the door without replying.
“Let’s go home, honey,” Royce said. “The car’s out back.”
“Okay.” Jesse agreed. By now the police were gone, taking Jerry’s men with them. He knew he’d have to go to the police station eventually but would put it off until morning. Royce led him out the back door and into the passenger seat of their car. He felt numb. Have I finally snapped? After all the years of being hunted, the only safe place he’d ever had was no longer safe and the man he loved might be having second thoughts. Numb was the best way to describe it.
“Jesse…Jesse, honey, we’re home.” He looked out the window and was shocked to see they were inside their garage. He’d missed the entire drive from the diner. He got out of the car but stood rooted to the spot.
There, stored in the second half of the garage, sat his Harley. He hadn’t ridden her in weeks. Jesse thought he should take her out for a ride. Her chrome gleamed in the sunlight coming in through the open garage door and her black paint shined. She was a beauty and Jesse had worked for years to buy her. Typically, before that, he went from town to town by bus. She gave him freedom, and right now if he were a decent person he would be hopping on her and taking the danger away from Brighton.
“Jesse?” Royce was at his side while he stood there and stared at his bike. “Tell me what you’re thinking baby, please?”
Jesse thought for a long moment… Hell no, I can’t tell him that. It didn’t seem right to lay that worry on Royce on top of everything else, and still healing from being shot. “I’m okay.” He hated lying to Royce but he had to protect him even if it was only from Jesse’s own thoughts and fears.
“Bullshit,” Royce growled. “If you don’t want to talk about it, say that, but don’t lie to me, never lie to me. Are you leaving me?”
“I should. It’s for the best,” Jesse answered, never once looking Royce in the eyes.
“But I love you. I’ll protect you,” Royce swore.
“You won’t be enough. They’ll hurt people to get to me.” Jesse realized too late what he’d said, but before he could explain Royce took over.
“My love and protection isn’t enough. If you’re going to run every time life gets tough, then go, I won’t stop you.” Royce stormed into the house, leaving Jesse alone with his thoughts. He took a single step to follow Royce and explain, but stopped himself and with a deep sigh, turned around and walked toward his bike.
*****
Royce heard the deep rumbling and knew his hopes that they could work this out had disappeared. The roar of Jesse’s bike as it pulled out of the driveway and away from their house felt like a stab to his chest. Was it still “their” house? Was he coming back? Was he safe? Royce didn’t have the answers and a sick feeling began to spread through his body. Jesse had left him. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on him. But Jesse was keeping things from him and Royce was frustrated. He’d spent the last few weeks afraid Jesse would be hurt or leave. Well, he left.
The pain was starting to set in. Jesse left. The realization hit home like a sledgehammer. He left me. Royce couldn’t understand why Jesse hadn’t taken his things with him. Maybe he’s coming back? Royce didn’t know what to think. He never thought Jesse would just take off like this because they’d always found it easy to talk things out up until now.
Royce wandered through his empty house room by room…rooms he’d hoped and prayed would be filled with children someday. He’d always dreamt of giving children with special needs a good home and viewed adoption as the option for him. But when Daniel had died, so had that dream, until Jesse came along. Now his pain was becoming intense, and Royce knew unless you’d suffered through the loss of the person you love, there was no way of properly describing it. But the closest he could imagine was paralyzing, painful emptiness creeping into his heart and soul.
Should he go look for him or wait here? What would he do if Jesse didn’t come back? That one thought alone kept him pacing the floors. He stopped by the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer before continuing on with his silent vigil. The more he thought about everything that had happened, the more worked up he got. Hell, he’d already lost one man he’d loved. Royce couldn’t help but wonder how he’d pissed off fate so badly that this was happening to him again.
Hours crawled by and Royce sat waiting. At two in the morning he surrendered to the fact that Jesse wasn’t likely to be coming back. He’d been gone over twelve hours. Royce had already called Dante, one of the leaders of the Sentinels, to let him know Jesse had left. That had been hours ago, and he wondered if they were still out looking for him. Royce would still pay to have Jesse safe whether it was with or without Royce at his side.
He walked slowly to their bedroom, taking his shirt off and dropping it on the floor in the hallway, not caring where it landed. He continued on, leaving his pants at the bedroom door, boxers at the foot of the bed. By the time he crawled up onto the mattress, he couldn’t hold back his sorrow and loss any longer. The last time he’d cried was at Daniel’s graveside. Royce had thought he’d be impervious to that kind of pain again, but he’d been sorely mistaken.
Royce laid his sore head down, praying sleep would take him away into blissful nothingness. He hoped against all odds that this had all just been some sort of cruel nightmare and he would wake up at any moment with Jesse in his arms. But all the while knowing full well his reality had changed yet again and his future was uncertain.
Royce awoke hours later. He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep and had no idea what woke him, but something was different. He slowly opened his eyes; the room was dark but he could make out the outline of a large figure standing in the doorway. There was just enough light coming down the hallway to confirm that it was indeed Jesse. Royce sat up in bed, conflicting emotions running rampant through his mind and heart. He was overjoyed that Jesse came back but he felt betrayed at being left in the first place. Those two emotions alone kept him on the bed, silent. If he came back for his things, Royce wasn’t about to beg. No matter how much he wanted Jesse to stay, the man had to want to stay first.
Jesse took a few tentative steps into the room. “Hi.”
“Hello, Jesse.” Royce’s voice came out harsher then he’d intended, but he was tired of being left behind. First Daniel, though not of his own accord, then Jesse, who’d left willingly.
“May I come in?” Jesse asked.
Royce ached to cross the room and wrap his arms around Jesse but he stood his ground. If Jesse ran every time things got tough, this wasn’t going to work. He loved Jesse completely, but that was the one thing Royce wouldn’t be able to live with.
“Maybe we should talk out in the living room,” Royce suggested as he reached for his sleeping pants because he didn’t want to have to face this conversation naked.
“O-okay,” Jesse stuttered and for the first time Royce noticed just how nervous Jesse really was.
Royce slipped on his pants and followed Jesse to the living room. He prepared himself as best he could for whichever way this turned out, but knew full well he’d be devastated if Jesse left again. Jesse turned on the lamps before Royce had the chance, so Royce went ahead and sat in one of the single chairs. He purposely stayed away from the couch because he wasn’t confident what he’d do if Jesse sat beside him. The overpowering need to take the man into his arms was getting progressively harder to fight.
Jesse sat on the couch wringing his hands and refusing to look Royce in the eyes. “Royce, I-I’m sorry.”
Royce wasn’t actually sure which aspect Jesse was apologizing for, so he decided to ask. “You’re sorry for what exactly: keeping things from me, not trusting me, leaving me? Or perhaps you intend to leave again, because I can’t live with that. Always wondering if you’ll take off when things get tough, leaving me alone again.”
Jesse looked down at his hands; they were shaking. “I don’t want anything to happen to you or anyone else. But I’m too damn selfish. I can’t leave you, I love you. I should go and take all this trouble with me, but I can’t.”
Royce wanted to run over to the couch and hold Jesse, but they had too much to talk about before that happened. “Do you plan on leav…leaving me again?” Even saying the word caused Royce’s heart to skip a beat.
“No…no, I’m not going anywhere unless you are and then I’m going with you,” Jesse assured him.
“I need to be able to trust you. When you left you have no idea what that did to me.” Though Jesse was back and said he wanted to stay with him, Royce’s fear of being abandoned was high on his list of concerns
“I know I’ve damaged the trust we’ve built but I want a chance to repair it. Please give me that chance. I was so afraid of you being hurt by my family, I couldn’t think of any other way of protecting you and Brighton from them. I was wrong. I couldn’t even make it past the town line.”
“Where have you been all this time?” Royce asked
“Willow Park. That’s as far as I could go without you,” Jesse answered. His eyes were red, with dark circles underneath, and his shoulders were slumped forward.
“Was a Sentinel with you? Were you safe?” Royce asked.
“Of course I was safe. You called them in when I left, didn’t you?” Jesse asked but Royce remained silent. “After I’d hurt you so badly you still were concerned for my safety.”
“Were you really going to leave me?” Royce had to know if there had been a chance.
“No, I just needed time to think clearly,” Jesse admitted.
“And what have you decided to do about your family?” Royce asked, equally hopeful and afraid of the answer.
“That I make my stand here with you and the town of Brighton. I’m done running. I want to spend my life with you. I just need you to give me that chance. I’m sorry I left. I was sorry the moment I pulled out of the driveway. I know I hurt you and it’s killing me to be this far away from you right now.” Jesse’s voice wavered. Royce could see the tears in Jesse’s eyes and he couldn’t stay back any longer.
Royce got up from his chair, went to Jesse, and held him in his arms “We’ll work this all out, baby. I love you. It just kills me to think of you ever leaving again.”
“No…I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Jesse’s eyes were big, begging Royce to believe him.
“I believe you, love.”
“You do?”
“Yes, Jesse, I do.” Royce honestly did believe Jesse. If he were going to leave, he would have kept going tonight and never returned.
“God, I love you. I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me back after I’d left,” Jesse spoke softly before burying his face in Royce’s chest.
“Just don’t make a habit of it,” Royce teased, wanting to lighten the mood. “Now I think it’s past time for you to tell me everything that’s been going through that beautiful mind of yours.”
The two sat, holding one another tightly on the couch and talking until dawn broke through the living room windows and bathed them in light. They’d worked through their fears and hopes for the future, allowing Royce to finally be able to breathe again. Hours later they fell asleep bundled up together and still on the couch, neither willing to separate long enough to walk to their bed.