Leigh barely heard Avery over lunch at one of the Burger Shack's outdoor tables. Avery chattered on about narrowing down her speed-dating candidates. She seemed to have her sights set on Jesse's brother, Jack.
"I hate to tell you this, but every single woman in Beach Pointe is trying to land him," Leigh reminded her.
"Except you, but you're into his brother—which still weirds me out, by the way—so I may have one up on the competition."
"Don't count on it. Jesse and Jack have a strained relationship."
"Really? Why?"
Shrugging, Leigh sipped her Sprite and played dumb. She couldn't tell Avery that Jack had seen his mother kill his father. There wasn't a lot she didn't share with her best friend, but something like this deserved more discretion. If Avery managed to hook up with Jack, maybe he'd tell her about it someday.
Leigh smiled and laughed as Avery rambled on about a shipment of lace that still hadn't arrived and her aversion to selling a wedding dress to a bride who wanted an underwater wedding. Leigh's eyes kept drifting to her cell phone. The time flew as if someone had pushed fast forward. And then a quarter till one, the hour she dreaded, rolled around. She drove back to the office, tempted to turn around and keep driving in the other direction. A nice hotel on the Gulf Coast, an alias, a rented convertible—all that sounded much better than her next appointment.
She had just gotten settled at her desk after spending a little too long in the bathroom trying not to throw up.
“Your one o’clock is here,” Becky chirped.
Leigh stabbed the intercom button with her finger. “Could you possibly tone it down a little?”
“I’m sorry?” Becky sounded genuinely confused.
“Never mind.”
“Okay. Should I send him in now?”
No, send him to Mars, please. “Yes.”
The door opened, and Becky ushered Mitch Perkins in. He wore the very same clothes as last time, only dirtier. She forced her feet to carry her to her armchair, while he took a seat on the couch. Thank God it was faux leather. She'd have to disinfect it when he left. Body odor wafted up as he fixed her with a cold stare, head tilted down so she could see the whites of his eyes. His face twitched in random places—one eye, then the other, then his nose, the left corner of his mouth, then the right.
Leigh focused on her notebook instead. “Good afternoon, Mitch. How are you today?”
He scratched at his neck. “I killed a dog.”
“Okay… Did it run in front of your truck?”
“No. It was spying on me.”
“Okay, why do you think the dog was spying on you?” Leigh tried to hold her pen steady, but her hands shook so badly, she had to rest them on her lap.
“He kept coming in my yard, looking at me through the window. It followed me to the barn and watched me while I fed the pigs."
"Is it possible the dog is just a stray that's hungry and followed the smell of the, um, pig slop?"
"No. It put thoughts in here.” He tapped his temple with a dirty finger. "I think it's one of the aliens in dog form."
She didn't want to ask, but that red camera light reminded her that it was her job. “What thoughts, Mitch?”
“Thoughts about hurting someone.”
“How so?” Hair prickled on the back of her neck. She looked pointedly at the camera, hoping Dr. Gadbury would get the hint and intervene. He didn’t.
“Don’t matter. Just fix it. Get these thoughts out of my head.” A fly landed on his nose. He snatched it in his fist and crushed it, then wiped the remains on his jeans.
This guy needed some serious help. Neither she nor Dr. Gadbury could prescribe medication, but she’d brought the subject up to Mitch before. He always refused.
She decided to try another approach. “Would you reconsider seeing a psychiatrist for a more thorough treatment regimen? We have a few good ones nearby who often work with our clients.”
“I ain’t stupid. You mean medication.” He hung his head, speaking through gritted teeth. “What is it with you doctor folk? If you put that stuff in me, the aliens will have access to my brain. They'll force me into some hybrid experiment. They'll make me fuck a dog or something."
“There are very good medications on the market with few side effects. I think it would help you. I'd never suggest it if I didn't.”
Head still down, he muttered, “I told you…” He raised his creepy eyes to hers, his mouth in an angry twist. “I don’t want no goddamn medication!”
Without warning, he slammed his fists in the couch seat cushion. Startled, Leigh cringed in her chair, pushing herself as far away as she could, which was nowhere near far enough. Mitch stalked out of her office, slamming the door behind him. Leigh covered her face with her hands, trying to calm her racing heart. Why would her boss not intervene? Had he even been watching?
She had no more appointments that day, so once she was sure Mitch had gone, she grabbed her purse and keys and hurried out. Dr. Gadbury's office door was wide open, and he wasn't there. He wasn't at the receptionist desk, either, when Leigh breezed by Becky without so much as a glance at her chipper, "Have a lovely night!"
Leigh went straight for her car, got in, and turned the key. As she backed out of her parking space, she saw Dr. Gadbury outside near the corner of the building, on his cell phone. He was hunched over slightly, grinning like a fool. Probably talking to the thong lady, but Leigh didn't give a shit about who was on the other end.
Leaving work usually relaxed her, but the farther she drove, the madder she got. Her ass of a boss knew she felt uncomfortable with Mitch. He didn’t even have the decency to watch their session in case the guy got violent. She gripped the steering wheel until her fingers hurt and huffed a sarcastic laugh. But he’d be sure to review the video and tell her all the things she’d done wrong. If she went home all wound up like this, her mom would freak out and try to convince her to quit. She didn’t want to quit. She just wanted to get her license and go start her own practice, preferably far away from Dr. Gadbury and Mitch Perkins.
As if her subconscious had taken over, she realized she had turned off the road and onto Jesse’s driveway. She put on the brakes and stopped about halfway down the drive. What the bloody hell was she doing? Was she really that drawn to this place? That drawn to him?
Looking in the rearview mirror, she put the car in reverse and started backing out of the driveway. A truck pulled in behind her. Crap. Blocked. Jesse's driveway was narrow and lined with huge trees and fences. No way she could get around it.
"You've got to be kidding me."
Just her luck. None other than Jesse himself stepped out of the truck, came up to her window, and tapped on it. Her face heated up, and her stomach rolled, a weird combination of excitement and dread. Staring solemnly ahead, she pressed the window button, letting in the hot June air, the screech of cicadas, and the mild, spicy scent of Jesse's cologne. She breathed a little deeper. Why did he have to smell so damn good?
"It's like deja vu. What's up, Leigh? Everything okay?"
She attempted a pleasant smile and met his gaze. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue, like the cloudless sky. "Yeah. I just got off work and..." She couldn't finish.
But he smiled softly and shrugged. "I happen to be off today. I took Pa to his checkup and didn't have any plans for the rest of the day except maybe some fishing. Care to join me?"
Jesse's raised eyebrows and slight smile exuded hopefulness. She'd already hurt him once, okay, more than once. She couldn't do it again.
Leigh released the breath she'd been holding and the smile she'd suppressed. "Sure. I'd love to."
His head jerked back as though he hadn't expected a positive response. "Um, okay, great. I'll just get Pa settled for a nap, and we'll hang out on the dock."
"Sounds good. But I can't stay long. It's my mom's birthday, and I'm taking her out."
"No problem." He flashed a bright smile and jogged back to his truck.
Leigh drove up to the house and parked the car, leaving plenty of room for Jesse to get his grandpa in and up the stairs. Before she got out, she took off her blazer and tossed it onto the passenger seat.
The old man lifted an arthritic hand in greeting. "Well, if it ain't 'not my girl.'"
"Excuse me?"
Jesse glanced at him, frowning. "It's nothing. You can come in or go on out to the dock if you want."
"I think I'll head out there, thanks."
"Okay, I'll bring us out some iced tea."
"Even better."
Leigh started around the house, but managed to hear his grandpa say, "I told ya she'd be back."
Her cheeks warmed, and the thought that Jesse had missed her enough to tell his grandpa about it brought on a smile. She slipped off her flats and let her feet sink into the cool, green grass while she continued down the gentle slope to the pond. The closer she got, the more her stress melted away. Who knew that some fresh air, sunshine, and wildlife could make her feel so good? When she was a little girl, going outside was often like going to Disneyworld—a rare and magical adventure. She reached the dock, wondering why, as an adult, she'd never appreciated how much nature could improve one's mood. She'd recommended it to most of her patients, but like many healthcare practitioners, she didn't always practice what she preached.
When she sat and let her legs dangle off the dock, she heard the swoosh and thump of Jesse's sliding door that led out the back of the house. She looked over her shoulder. He walked down the hill, carrying iced tea. The ice cubes clinked in the glasses. Her mouth watered, but not only for the anticipation of a cold drink. She remembered how Jesse's lips had tasted when she was here last time.
"Hope you like sweet tea." He handed her a glass.
"Is there any other kind?" She took it and sipped. Condensation had already beaded up around it, thanks to the hot June afternoon. "It's good."
"Don't tell Pa, but I put Splenda in his. He can't tell the difference, but if he knew, he'd turn his nose up at it."
Leigh laughed. "He's a feisty one, huh?"
"You have no idea." Glass in hand, he sat beside her and let his legs dangle off the edge. He wore a pair of khaki shorts and a blue University of Kentucky T-shirt. He'd taken off his shoes too. Their feet only inches apart, she noticed their differences. His white and callused with faint flip-flop strap tan lines, hers brown and smooth, made smoother with regular manicures. Their toes skimmed the water in lazy circles.
She raised her head to find him staring at her. "What?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking that you're really pretty sitting out here. The sunlight brings it out even more."
"I thought sun brought out everyone's skin flaws."
He shook his head. "Maybe you got lucky."
She held his gaze for a moment before looking out over the pond, memories flitting through her mind like the minnows that darted around her feet. "I wasn't always this lucky."
Jesse sat his glass on his lap, both hands wrapped around it, one finger tapping as though he wanted to speak but didn't know if he should.
"What is it?" she asked.
He took a deep breath and shrugged.
She leaned to her side, nudging him gently. "Come on, I'm your counselor, remember?"
He searched her face, a slanted smile forming on his lips before he sat his tea on the dock and braced himself with both hands palms down on the weathered wood. "Marge said you were really sick as a kid but don't like to talk about it. Just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need to get anything off your chest."
She smiled. "Now who's the counselor?"
"I just thought it could go both ways when I'm not paying for the hour."
Nodding, she had to chuckle at that one. After the tragedy he'd lived through, she didn't know if unloading on him would be a good idea. But she needed to talk to someone who understood the fine line between life and death.
She took a long drink of tea, letting the cold, sweet nectar quench her thirst and her nerves. "Marge is right. I had cancer. It's called rhabdomyosarcoma, if you want the proper term." Just saying the name of her childhood tormentor made her shiver. "Started with a lump here in my left arm when I was five." She raised her arm to show him the pale scar that still lingered on the inside of her bicep. "It affects the soft tissues and is pretty rare. Yay me, right?"
"That must have been a nightmare to live through." He rested his hand on hers. "But you lived. That's the important thing."
"Sure. I've been in remission since I was thirteen. It's just...when you fight it for so long, it never goes away in here." She touched her forehead. "Any headache, any pain, any anything makes me worry that it's coming back. Though it's not as likely now that it's been eleven years in remission, there's always a chance."
"You're a lot braver than I am. So, your doctor visits recently?"
"Migraines and dizzy spells, which you probably remember."
One side of his mouth tilted up, showing off his gorgeous dimple. "Yeah, can't say I regret that dizzy spell though."
She smiled back, flipping her hand so that her fingers intertwined with his. It felt kind of natural. "Dr. Kushman thinks it's long-term effects of the chemo. He's probably right."
"So, you never went to school or played outdoors?"
Leigh shook her head. "My whole childhood was spent indoors for the most part. My mom quit her job as a teacher to take care of me. Even after remission, I was considered 'high risk' for recurrence. So, there I was, stuck at home or the hospital for a few more years. I did meet my best friend, Avery, there. She had a traumatic brain injury, and we shared physical therapy sessions. Her family moved next door not long after that. My medical bills were so expensive, though, which I didn't understand back then. We had a nice place in Bardstown, but we went bankrupt because of all the bills and moved here when I was ten to a smaller, cheaper place. All because of me."
"It's not your fault. You didn't ask to get cancer."
"I know. They tell me that all the time, to not feel guilty, and most of the time, I don't. But sometimes I can't help but wonder what life would have been like without the cancer."
He scooted closer, lifting their joined hands to rest on his thigh. "You wouldn't have met me and turned me into a somewhat respectable man."
She smiled. "You did that yourself. I just gave you the tools to get it done."
"I'm not glad that you had cancer, but I'm glad I listened to the sheriff when he insisted I needed therapy."
Leigh looked back out over the pond, where a fish jumped from the water and splashed back down with ripples she could feel with her feet. "I've never dated anyone before." She swallowed hard and glanced up at him. His eyes had never left her face. "I've never loved anyone before because I...I can't have kids. They had to do a hysterectomy when they discovered the cancer had spread there. It's not fair to ask a man to give up his chance to be a father."
He squeezed her hand and spoke in a soft and gentle tone she'd never heard from him before. "That's for him to decide, isn't it?"
She made herself look him in the eye, even though hers were brimming with tears. "But that's not the only thing. If the cancer does come back, my chances are slim to none. I can't expect someone to be okay with that."
"I've seen death firsthand, Leigh. And the only thing common to each one was that it happens to all of us at one point or another. You just do what you can with the time you've got and don't waste it. Take your chances to be happy when they're in front of you."
"I've never taken chances on anything."
"Our whole lives are a series of chances. Every decision we make, even the little ones. We don't know one minute what will happen the next. If we keep asking what if, we miss the what might have been."
The tenderness in his words coaxed a tear down her cheek. She leaned against his arm and put her free hand on their joined ones, feeling his strong, warm knuckles on her palm. Then she looked into his eyes. Their kindness and steadiness gave her strength.
"You're right," she said.
He wiped away her tear with a gentle swipe of his thumb and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Will you take a chance on me?"
Before she could change her mind, she pressed her lips to his. He responded immediately, kissing her with the urgent need of a parched man who'd found water. His arm slipped around her waist, pulling her closer. Her breasts brushed against his chest. Every part of her throbbed with need. An ache spread from her core with a wet warmth that brought her back to reality.
She pulled away, placing a finger on his lips, though she longed to fully test their capabilities. "We have one more session. Let's finish that first and go from there."
He nodded and released her from his embrace. "Fair enough."
"I'll see you then."
He stood and offered his hand to help her up. She took it, savoring the strength in his grip for a moment, and got to her feet.
"See ya," he said.
She kissed his cheek, taking the opportunity to breathe in his intoxicating scent. "See ya."
For the entire drive home, she couldn't stop smiling. If this was what falling in love felt like, she wanted more of it. But she still had to be careful until their therapy sessions had come to an end. She was so close to getting her license and opening up her own practice, she could taste it.
Jesse's taste also lingered on her lips. She licked them, hoping there'd be more where that came from. He'd asked her to take a chance on him. For once, she thought it might be possible.