How much sexual tension could one live through before they incinerated? I couldn’t understand Jonas. We were able to share one another’s bed to be able to sleep, but to touch each other or to carry on a civilized conversation was out. What the hell? Was I supposed to just find a coconut or rock on the ground and paint a face on it so I’d have someone to talk to? I’m human, and I know the psyche needs daily stimulation through conversing with others.
I couldn’t keep living like this. I’d already gotten myself off so many times I’d lost count. Granted, I wasn’t that experienced with sex despite doing a clinical rotation with the Bradfords—they were psychiatrists who practiced in the mental health field, but they specialized in sex therapy. I’d found it intriguing how they used the world of BDSM to help people suffering from a multitude of disorders find balance and re-establish their purpose in society. The various offerings seemed to give them a new focus, allowing them to work past their hang-ups. At first, I’d thought the Bradfords were insane with their thinking, but it did help a good majority of their patients. Who knew?
Well, maybe I should’ve known; my sister had told me how amazing the world of BDSM was. Dawn always seemed to sport a relaxed nature and a smile lately. Was sex really powerful enough to cause such contentment? We’d talked about the various offerings, and I’d tried to go to the club, only to chicken out because I didn’t want anyone to see me there, and I didn’t want to risk seeing anyone I knew going at it. Think of the embarrassment. Heck, even Carol Bradford took me to the club one night to show me what I was missing with scene after scene. I couldn’t stay. Seeing a person hit another with a leather whip was deplorable to me. The idea of marking the skin with such harsh methods…I just couldn’t stomach it.
I also couldn’t understand why the women in the clubs dressed the way they did. I wasn’t one to flaunt my shape or curves, but thanks to someone else picking out my clothes for this island hideaway, everything I now had was formfitting or downright sexy. I understood I was supposed to dress the complete opposite of how I normally dressed, but this was ridiculous for a number of reasons. Mainly because I believed that a person’s personality should be the only thing that came into play when two people started talking and dating, not their looks. But I did have to admit that some of the clothes made me feel beautiful and were actually beginning to turn me on.
The first few weeks on the island, Jonas and I mainly stayed away from one another. We each ended up frustrated and taking cold showers. I spent my day reading through books, listening to music, or keeping busy in the kitchen by trying to be creative with the food, whereas Jonas either worked on things outside or he holed up in his room tying those damn knots. What was that all about? I could tell he was looking at something on the floor, but every time I stepped toward him, there was nothing there. Was I losing it?
We were now on week four, and I found myself migrating to the clothes that seemed to appeal to Jonas’s senses. I could tell I hit on something that started his engine when the center of his eyes got bigger and his breathing altered. Now if I could only find something that would shift his mind into drive and allow me the release I was slowly dying for. What the heck was I thinking? Did I really just admit that I wanted Jonas? You know you did, girl. You want to climb up on him and ride him like the beast he is. Aren’t you getting a little curious to see what he’s packing underneath his pants?
I was feeling pent up in more ways than one. I took a quick shower to shut my subconscious and my sexual desires down. I decided I didn’t care what Jonas had to say; today, I was going to venture a little further from the house but still remain in his line of sight. I wouldn’t go all the way down to the beach, but I wanted to get a closer look. I thought I’d seen something swinging in the breeze between the trees. I’m sure Jonas wouldn’t begrudge me relaxing a bit.
I dressed in the one-piece black bathing suit I’d worn to breakfast that first morning. I didn’t know why, but it seemed to bother him more than the bikini had. Walking outside, I found him several yards down the path practicing tying his rope and knots on a damn palm tree and cursing, about what I didn’t know. The breeze blew his mumbled words over to me. I could just make out, “Don’t go there. No, she’s off limits. It’ll only be a little while longer; you can do this.”
I didn’t know if he was talking to the tree or about me, but either way, I didn’t care. I was tired of this shit and needed a little change in scenery. With his mind preoccupied, I wandered a little farther down, ending up on the edge of the palm trees. Just a few feet beyond was a wide-open space of white sand and the clearest blue water I’d ever seen. This place was amazing. Too bad my jailer was keeping me on a tight leash.
I looked around for the trees where I’d thought I’d seen something attached between them…there it is. I was right: a rope hammock. I looked up and around to see if there were enough palm fronds and foliage covering the area to keep me out of sight from any ships or planes passing by. Thank the heavens, there were.
Already feeling relaxed by the sound of the waves and the smell of the surf spraying up into the air, I went around to the side of the hammock that would give me the greatest view of the ocean. This was definitely what I needed to keep my mind off of—You want me to keep my mind off wanting him? You’d better follow your own advise, honey.
Testing the hammock’s strength and durability, I sat on it for a few seconds prepared to jump if I started to feel the rope give. After a few moments, I felt secure enough to lie back and just allow nature to heal my soul.
My eyes closed, and my mind began to travel through different memories, wondering how I could’ve changed this or prevented that. I always did have a problem with just letting my mind settle. I guess in all the thinking, I drifted off into slumber.
“Erica! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I awoke to shouting, causing me to startle and forget that I was still lying on a rope hammock, which spun from my movement and entangled me.
I didn’t have to yell out for help, not that I could anyway, because I was wrapped up tighter than a guitar string ready to snap. I was able to breath, but not deeply. My hands were tangled in the ropes up over my head, while my feet were forced together. I was stuck, not to the same degree as a turtle on its back, but I definitely felt frustrated with the inability to move.
Jonas dropped the coconuts and bananas he had in his hands and came running at me with ample speed. He stopped about a foot away, staring and laughing at me, the bastard! “This isn’t funny.” I reprimanded him. “If you hadn’t startled me, this wouldn’t have happened.”
He kept laughing but leaned forward, “I thought I told you to stay away from the beach.”
My eyes were squinting because of the sun coming off the surf. I tried looking up at him, but he was surrounded by light, making him appear almost ethereal. “Technically, I’m not on the beach. If you look up and to the side, there’s only a small hole where I can see out, and unless you’re physically on the island, you can’t see me through all the palm fronds and foliage around here.”
Jonas moved closer, where I could see him more clearly. His pupils were nearly black, and his breathing was heavy. I glanced down and noticed the bulge that was pressing against his zippered area. I didn’t know why I appealed to him, so I decided to be snarky and ask, “What, do I finally catch your attention being tied up?”
The words had barely left my mouth, when he shifted a leg over the hammock and straddled me before crashing his lips down hard on mine. Instinct had me wanting to wrap my arms around his neck and draw him in closer, but he controlled everything about this kiss. At first, I wanted to resist, but the feelings surging through me won over. I granted his probing tongue access to my mouth, where he ravished and tasted every inch of it. I tried my best to meet his intensity, trying to deepen our contact, until he finally pulled away allowing us both to breath in the air we so desperately needed.
He kept within a hair’s breadth from my lips, letting his minty warm breath wash over me before moving toward my neck and up toward my ear where he bit down on the underneath side, sending a surge of heat running through my core. I could feel the electricity in the air around us crackle. His words only heightened my desire for him. “Do you have any idea how you affect me, Erica? I’ve tried to fight this attraction to you, but seeing you tied up like this, having to surrender to my mercy,” I watched as he pulled back to take in the view of my hands above my head, and then casting a glance down at my chest. My breasts were shoved together causing them to nearly spill out of my suit. He reached his hands out and caressed the sides of my neck before working his way down to my chest, where he grabbed ahold of both breasts and squeezed, causing me to arch slightly and moan. “I can’t resist anymore. Seeing you tied up like I’ve imagined in my dreams has me so hard for you. You’ve destroyed every wall I’ve put into place, Erica. Please tell me you want me as badly as I want you.”
“Seeing me tied up does this to you?” I wasn’t sure how to respond to his statement, but wanted to know more about his sudden interest in me.
Jonas nodded. “I’ve been fighting my attraction for you since my sister’s wedding if I were to be honest. I wasn’t in a good place then, and I’m not that much better now, but you win. I can’t look away from you any longer. Sharing a bed with you and not touching your sinful body is just short of torture for me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cause any problems.” I offered.
His hands kept running up and down my sides and around the exterior of my breasts. “I know it’s not right to like to see people tied up, but you’ve been wanting to get inside my head for a while now, so here you are. Kent suggested I try to control my thoughts and fears with the use of BDSM. I used to be in the scene—although, I couldn’t tolerate most things—but after seeing the way they treated their submissive women overseas, I couldn’t get into it again. What they did to them was abhorrent. They used similar implements to those used to torture prisoners of war. The thought of using objects almost identical in look and feel to the ones I once associated with pleasure as mere instruments of torture…well, I couldn’t pick up a cane, whip, or the like ever again without seeing some of the images of women and men beaten to within inches of death with those items.”
Okay, this was way more information than I’d expected, but he was finally opening up to me. I wanted to keep him talking. “So the rope, that works for you?”
“Yes. It’s not seeing the women tied up per se, but seeing the beauty of the designs cast in the rope against the backdrop of luminous skin. It’s a Japanese art form called Shibari. I have a book in my room if you want to see what I’m talking about in more detail.” His face blushed a little, “I kicked it under the bed every time you caught me practicing my knots in the room.”
I didn’t know what possessed me to ask this, but I wanted to understand Jonas better, feel closer to him, “Will you show me, and then tie me up to let me experience what Shibari is like?” I admit: seeing him this turned on from the idea of me being tied and bound was a hedonistic experience, heightening my own arousal. I just prayed he couldn’t smell the arousal now soaking the crotch of my suit.
A salacious smile spread across his face. “I’d love to tie you up.”
“I’ll do it under one condition.” I offered.
Jonas was quick to ask. “What did you have in mind?”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “A new game of twenty questions but without limits, no passes on questions.”
He breathed in deeply as his hand came up to rub over his beard. “Fine, but the same applies to you. Now let’s get you down from here.”
Jonas swung his leg back over and tried turning me in every direction to get me loose, but to no avail. I began to panic, when he kissed me tenderly on the lips, making me lose my mind and heating up my body again. “Maybe I should just stay like this? It wouldn’t be the worst thing, would it?”
He took a step back to examine to situation, before reaching for a knife he carried in the side pocket on the leg of his fatigues. I guess military-style cargo pants came in handy for things. “I’m going to have to cut you down from here.”
Jonas moved down by my legs before placing the knife against a portion of the rope and slicing through it. The constriction around my legs slowly eased with each flick of his knife. He was moving closer to my upper thighs, and I cringed at the idea of a sharp blade being near my private area. I should’ve known he wouldn’t allow any harm to come to me. I watched as he got down on his knees, moved in between my legs, lifted them up over his shoulders and around his head, and then sliced the rope holding the hammock to the trees.
“Oh god!” I yelled out as I felt a part of me fall. My legs instantly fell onto his shoulders, giving me support and keeping me from crashing to the ground.
I tried to squeeze my thighs together to prevent him from moving up, but he did anyway. The edge of the knife flicked through a few more ropes before my lower half was finally free from the clutches of the hammock. I watched in horror as Jonas moved his nose closer to the apex of my thighs and drew in a heady breath. The sinfulness of his eyes intensified. “Smells like someone either likes being tied up or they like that I’m only inches away from their pussy. Which is it, Erica?”
Damn, he would go right to that door and open it, forcing me to admit I wanted him. I tried to look elsewhere, but these damn ropes had me locked onto his face. When I hesitated, his finger moved up to trail underneath the edge of my swimsuit and into the folds surrounding my clit. “You’re wet, sweetheart. Is this all for me?”
I couldn’t help but nod. His voice was so direct. “I like that you’re nodding, but I’d rather hear your voice.”
“Yes.”
He smiled and pushed his thumb through to the hard nubbin of my clit while one of his fingers pressed inside me. “Yes, what?”
Okay, I wasn’t sure how he wanted me to answer. “Yes, I’m wet for you, only you. Are you happy now?”
Jonas’s eyes were hooded with desire, his voice laden with need. “Damn you’re tight. If I ever want to fit inside you, I’ll need to loosen you up.”
My eyes went wide with fear, and my body stiffened at his response. He wanted inside me. What happened to the pursuit of the woman, the foreplay, the…whatever the heck you did before the actual act of consummating a relationship? Was this the start of a relationship or was this just all sex? I’m not sure I could handle the “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” kind of deal that some people did.
He must have sensed my hesitance. He kept his finger inside me, pressed up against some spot that had my legs quivering, while his thumb stilled against my clit. “I think I lost you there for a second. Are you a virgin, Erica? Have you ever had sex?”
I could feel the heat of my blush crossing over my chest and spreading up into my face. This was humiliating. I didn’t answer right away, so his finger pressed harder on the spot inside me, making me cry out with need, wanting something but unsure of what that was. Jonas added, “I’m waiting, and just so you know, I’m not a very patient man.”
I couldn’t take what he was doing to me any longer, so I finally blurted out. “Yes, okay. I still have my hymen intact, but with oral sex, I’m not so innocent.”
Jonas withdrew his fingers from me and brought his hands up to hold my hips in place. “How old are you, Erica?”
I felt him pulling away from me and didn’t want to answer for fear he wouldn’t like my reply. “I’m not answering until you do. That is how twenty questions works, right? You’ve asked me enough questions already; I want a response first this time.”
He laughed. “I’m thirty-two.”
I breathed a sigh of relief to know he wasn’t too much older than me. I was afraid he’d be ten or fifteen years older despite him looking youthful. I didn’t want rejection, not like I’d had with past boyfriends.
Getting up enough nerve I replied, “Twenty-six. My birthday was two days ago.”
He opened his mouth a couple of times, closed it, and then opened again, until finally some words came out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know when your birthday was. We’ll have to see what supplies we have left and put together a feast for you tonight.” Then he paused for a moment, thinking about something. “I’m due to call Rick later tonight. I’ll see if he can either get us a food drop, since we’re getting low in the pantry and freezer, or if we can get permission to go to the mainland for a food run and to get you a cake to celebrate properly.”
The idea of going to the mainland put a smile on my face, but I needed to know something, “You’re not put off by my age?”
He shook his head while his hand started rubbing up and down the crotch of my suit. “No. I wasn’t sure how old you were. Usually Titan gives us the full details of an assignment, but given you’re the daughter of two of the operatives, they made exceptions. The way you talk and carry yourself makes you appear older than you are, but there’s a certain youthfulness to you that is hard to resist.” Jonas got quiet for a moment, reflective even, “You’ve seen too much in your short lifetime, haven’t you?” I didn’t respond, because my parents’ past wasn’t a secret amongst the operatives. However, I was shocked when he stated, “Sadly, I can relate a little too well.”
I tried to get our topic back to something more positive or, better yet, sexual. “Are you going to leave me hanging here?”
He looked at me like I’d lost it, until I licked my lips to indicate what I meant. The devilish grin that spread across his mouth made my center feel on fire. “Let me give you a birthday present you won’t forget; then we’ll see about getting you down out of this tree.”
Jonas pushed the fabric of my bathing suit aside, exposing my pussy and clit to him. His lips ran up the side of one thigh, nipping and kissing the skin as he went. His beard felt a little ticklish, until it hit my center. I was so thankful I’d shaved down there, allowing me to feel the warmth of his breath and the touch of his coarse whiskers.
I felt my body let go and relax, allowing Jonas to take the lead on everything. His hands reached down and parted my folds as his tongue licked from my pussy up to my hardened nub. My back arched in response, while a deep groan came from somewhere deep within me.
“You’re so fucking responsive, something I like in a woman.” His words were muffled, spoken against my folds and between licks as he gave my clit a workout. He first pressed one finger and then two into my pussy and headed right for that little bundle of nerves he’d found earlier, sending the tingling sensation deep within my body soaring to new heights.
My body was feeling things it had never experienced before. Granted, I’d had oral sex before, but while the guy I was with had gotten off, I ended up having to fake it just to get him to stop. I couldn’t see what the big deal was, but damn, Jonas was making me rethink my stance on the subject. He was playing my body like a musical instrument, tuning me for an epic finale, which I’m sure wouldn’t disappoint.
No sooner had the thought left my mind than thoughts about anything became impossible. I could only focus on the tingling sensation starting in the tips of my toes and working its way up my legs, through my center, until it reached my head. My mind let go as my pussy clenched around his fingers. My release out into the universe was cathartic, seeing white stars and flashes of light in my mind’s eye. I heard someone scream out Jonas’s name, before realizing it was me doing the screaming.
“Damn you’re sexy, Erica. Seeing you give your pleasure for my control…” He switched his fingers with his tongue so he could lick up every ounce of my release. “Mmm, you’re much tastier than I thought, so sweet, so pure. I can’t wait to get inside you and feel you squeeze against my cock the way you milked my fingers.”
My eyes quickly focused on him, seeing the evidence of my release coating his beard. “Will you take my virginity?”
Jonas smiled and nodded. “I just said I would. You think I’m about to walk away from you now that I’ve gotten a taste?”
I tried to shrug my shoulders, but because I was tied up, I had to use my words. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to mess with a virgin, since you’ve probably been with more experienced individuals.”
“Wrap your legs around my waist for a second, Erica.” I did as he asked. His gaze never left mine as his hands reached out and cupped my face. “I want you, more than I’ve wanted anything. I can’t promise this will turn into a relationship, but I’m not opposed to having some fun and finding out where it goes.” He stopped for a moment, looking like he was trying to carefully construct his words. “I’m probably saying this all wrong, but I’ve already admitted I’ve been attracted to you for a while now. I’m messed up in the head and trying to fight my issues of PTSD, which I’m pretty sure you’re fighting too. We’re both fucked up, if we’re being honest, but I guess there’s no reason why we can’t enjoy the moment. Who knows, we might be good for one another.”
His words didn’t scare me off; they worked to increase my desire for him. “Take me, Jonas, here and now. Make me forget about everything going on in my mind. Help me to soar out of the confinements of my old life and into a new one filled with adventure.”
“I’ll do it on one condition.” He countered.
“What’s that?” I wondered.
“You’ll tell me to stop if I try something you don’t like, and we’re exclusive only to one another until one of us says we’re done.” Jonas’s face held a level of seriousness I’d never seen. He’d obviously had his heart broken by someone, and I wanted to be the one to heal it.
“Agreed.”
He started to undo his pants, “Damn it. I don’t have any condoms with me. I have a few but not many, and they’re inside the house. I can’t leave you like this to go and get them.” He looked defeated, “Let me cut you down, and we can pick this up later.”
I shook my head. “You can put the knife away. I may be a virgin, but I’ve been taking the Depo-Provera shot to help regulate my monthly cycle and in case I ever found someone I wanted to be close to. You know that I’m clean, since I’ve never been with anyone. How about you?”
His smile said everything. “I’m clean. I had my last checkup a couple weeks before coming here and haven’t been with anyone in almost two years. When are you due for your shot again?”
Wow, the two-years thing blew my mind. I told him I was due for the shot in a month, but we should be good for now. Before I could get another word out of my mouth, he had his pants down around his ankles, his boxer shorts too. So he was lying to me about not being able to swim because he was going commando. Was it because he was turned on? He had been holding that backpack over his manhood. Speaking of manhood, holy mother of…I finally got a look at it when he grabbed my legs from around his waist and opened me up to him. “I think we have a problem here. How is that going to fit inside me?”
Jonas reached out and pulled down the top of my suit to expose my breasts, before his arms hooked under my legs and positioned me to match his height. He rubbed his cock against my folds to moisten himself, and then lined up with my center. “No need to worry, sweetheart, I’ll fit. I’ll go nice and slow until you get used to me. If you start to hurt, let me know, and I’ll stop or pull out. You do know that taking your virginity will hurt, but only for a second or two, and then you should feel nothing but pleasure.”
“I’ll let you know.” The words weren’t even out of my mouth when he pressed the tip inside me. Oh my god, the feeling was amazing. He wasn’t just well-endowed in length but also girth.
He paused at my entry, letting me get used to the sensation. As soon as I relaxed, he pressed in some more, moving just a little at a time and stopping. It was evident on his face that he was using all the restraint within himself not to push into me. “You’re so tight; your walls feel like a fucking vice around my cock.”
I’d never heard someone talk so dirty to me before, but it was kind of a turn-on and caused my nipples to harden at his words and my center to pulse with anticipation. I didn’t know how to respond to his statement, so I apologized. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. I just paid you a compliment. You feel good—damn good.”
The sentiments were mutual. I didn’t know why I’d waited so long. Yes, you do. You’ve been waiting for someone who enticed you. Jonas is the first person who has made you feel anything. Everyone else was a dud, girl. I looked down, only to see he still had several inches left to try and get fully seated inside me. I wished he’d go ahead and ram into me and just get it over with. I was overheating, on fire and needing him to be the one to put out my flames.
I tensed only when he came up against my barrier. Leaning down, his mouth latched on to my nipple. He began sucking and teasing it with his tongue and teeth before switching to the other side, giving it equal attention. He pushed forward leaving my purity behind and, between his actions and the breeze sweeping across my wet tits, a wanton creature arose in my place.
He was fully seated now, and I felt full to bursting, but oh so good. I began to shift my hips a bit, seeking out friction or need or…I didn’t know…but apparently, I signaled to him that I was ready for him to move. Jonas pulled back a little, and then pushed into me again. He did this a few times before taking deeper strokes in and out of me.
I felt my body give in to him, letting him take control over everything that I am, trusting him to elicit the pleasure I craved. His movements were slow and steady at first, but he began picking up speed as my hips tried to counter his movements, wanting to feel him deeper and harder inside me, wanting him to own me, make me his.
His words cut through the foggy haze surrounding me. “Don’t come until I tell you to, sweetheart. I want us to come together, owning every inch of your pleasure as I plaster your walls with my seed.”
I didn’t know what possessed me, but I screamed out, “Yes!” I wanted him to mark me as his.
Leaning down again, he took my nipple into his mouth while he kept pumping into me at a more frantic pace. I felt that amazing sensation building inside my body again, only more intense than before. Everything around me fell away as my soul began to soar to atmospheric heights. I could only relate it to the rush I felt when bungee jumping, but better, oh sooo much better. Then his words hit me, “Let go, love. Come for me.” His teeth bit down onto my nipple, causing a sense of pain and pleasure to mix as I felt my body explode with an intensity that could only be described as out of this world. I was floating on a cloud of pure ecstasy, feeling the spasms continue throughout my body as Jonas pushed into me a few more times before screaming out my name and grunting his release. I could feel his come splattering my inner walls, painting me with the evidence he’d been there, and it left me hoping, against everything, maybe he could truly be my one and only.
We were still connected, and I was still floating on a sea of bliss and still feeling aftershocks going off in my body. It wasn’t until I felt him lean forward enough to brush a chaste kiss against my lips that I finally came back to reality. “Are you doing okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Jonas’s words were tender.
I shook my head in response. “Can we just stay in this moment for a little while longer?”
A smile spread across his face. “I was thinking the same thing, but we need to cut you down. Your arms are starting to change color from the loss of circulation.”
Hmm. I was wondering why I hadn’t felt them in a while. “Keep your legs wrapped around me as I cut you free.”
I did as he asked. He didn’t take the time to cut one string at a time. He cut the line that was attached to the tree and caught me with one arm, preventing me from falling. Dropping the knife, he walked us a couple of feet to the base of the tree and pressed me up against it. His lips crashed against mine as he pushed into me a couple more times before pulling out of me, causing me to grunt into his mouth. I hated the empty feeling he’d left behind and was about to complain, when he stepped back, grabbed the knife and made quick work of shredding the remains of the hammock and freeing me from my confines. I looked down at his cock, still quite hard and impressive for someone who’d just come with the evidence of my innocence displayed prominently on his manhood.
He didn’t bother covering himself; his concern lie only with how my arms were doing. Jonas took both arms and began to massage them for a few minutes, wanting me to tell him when the feeling came back. I told him I’d be fine and could handle it myself, but he dismissed me. “You surrendered yourself to me, allowed me to have control, and it’s my job to ensure your safety, your pleasure, and your aftercare.”
His words were foreign to me. “I’m not sure I’m following what you’re saying. What’s aftercare? Are you talking in BDSM terms?”
“Shit. I’m rushing you. I’m sorry. It’s just that what I felt, what we did…I want you as my submissive, as my partner.”
He wanted me as his submissive? Was I nothing more than a sex toy to him? Holy shit. I answered the only way I could, with one word, “Explain.”