I was going to burn in hell.

I’d always quietly anticipated it, but now it was for certain.

For over a decade, I’d stayed away to protect Bethany, living in constant fear that Gabe would find out about my innate mating bond connection to her and exploit it in order to gain absolute control over me. Or worse: use it to kill me by murdering Bethany—just as Gabe’s ancestors had done to my great-aunt Sofia and her mate, Joaquin Salvatella.

I’d come so close to giving myself away when I’d stood on Bethany’s parents’ front porch in Santa Cruz ten years ago, gaping at Bethany in disbelief—my heart caught in a vise and my newly emerged wolf clawing me apart from the inside with his need to possess her.

Fortunately, I’d had Maribel inside my head at the time to guide me. She’d helped me conceal my initial connection to Bethany from Gabe and Nuriel. And she had ultimately set me on a path to believing that if I stayed away from Bethy and denied the mating bond connection long and hard enough, I could thwart it altogether.

But it had become harder and harder over the years, and Gabe had grown more suspicious over time as to what was always drawing me back to San Francisco. He’d been well on his way to figuring it all out, and thus I’d been diligently plotting to kill him, when little Sloane had done the job for me.

As I fingered the marks I’d left on Bethany’s golden skin, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d made the mating bond pull worse—stronger somehow—through my efforts to reject it for so many years. The evidence of my wolf’s desperation, his overriding need to irrevocably establish and reinforce a mating bond, was everywhere I looked as I canvassed what was visible to me of Bethy’s gorgeous naked body. I itched to inspect every inch of her, but refrained, not wanting to risk disturbing her peaceful slumber by moving her.

What had I done?

Why hadn’t I stopped after the first bite?

Or the fourth?

How was it I was only now noticing all the damage I’d inflicted? Purple bruises were beginning to form around the areas of broken skin.

I was a monster.

My brief trip to Big Basin with Kitsune had served to clear my lust-clouded vision. I felt sick as I took in the damning evidence of the aggressive, excessive manner in which I had gone about marking Bethany.

And yet … a deeper, darkly possessive part of me was rejoicing in what I was seeing. Judging by the size of my erection, my inner Neanderthal was positively reveling in it.

Yep. Hell it was. If they’d have me.

I was an asshole. I didn’t deserve Bethany.

I forced myself to pull a sheet up over her. Then a blanket. She was passed out cold and didn’t so much as stir.

God, she was beautiful. So sweet and perfect.

And a perfect fucking freak in the sheets.

But I couldn’t keep her. I would only ruin her life and make her miserable. She was probably going to hate me as soon as she woke up and discovered all the bite marks I’d made.

I’d fucked up big time giving in to my suppressed desire last night. I had to find a way to reverse this for Bethany’s sake.

And my own. I couldn’t handle Bethany hating me forevermore. It would be better to give her up now and walk away than endure seeing her unhappy—watching her grow to despise me more with each passing day that she was tied to me.

I had to fix this.

I dialed Avery’s number as I walked from the bedroom. Normally, I’d have simply tapped Avery’s mind to reach her, but I knew how much that irritated Alcaeus. And I was going to need Alcaeus’s help today.

“Really?” Avery answered on the fourth ring.

“Have you ever fucked up so badly with something that was critically important to you to the point that you felt driven to keep going with it? You know … like you wanted to be able to stop and fix it, but instead, something inside you compelled you to keep fucking it up more and more, and digging the hole you were already in deeper and deeper?”

There was dead silence on the other end of the line as I paced Bethany’s living room. “Avery? You there?”

“Gimme a sec. It’s barely eight a.m. My coffee hasn’t fully kicked in.”

“It’s four in the morning here in San Francisco.”

“And that’s my fault? I didn’t tell you to wake up early and dig yourself into a big hole.”

“This is serious, Avery. I need your help. I feel out of control, and I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Ugh, don’t pull that sad little brother shtick with me. Not when you’re cutting in on my morning sex time.”

“I’m not messing around. I need you to teleport to San Francisco. And I need you to bring Alcaeus with you.”

“You need Chaos, too? Damn. That’s some fuck-up.”

“I can make it an order.”

“You’re so cute when you’re needy and vulnerable.”

“Avery.”

“Okay, okay. Chill the Alpha vibe. What’d you do this time, Boss Man?”

The stunned look on Alcaeus’s face when he turned to me wasn’t reassuring. Neither was Avery’s sharp intake of breath as she peeled the covers back.

“Are you kidding me?” Alcaeus shouted, stepping into my space. “What the hell do you think I can do about this?”

“I don’t know. Just find a way to fix it,” I ordered, waving a hand at the bed. “Undo it.”

“Undo it? With what? A time machine? There’s no undoing this, Raul. What the hell were you thinking? I told you last night to stay away from Bethany.”

He looked dead serious. This couldn’t be happening. There had to be a way to fix it. “Come on, man, you’re centuries old. You have to have seen a fix for this kind of thing before.”

His eyes shifted. A growl rolled up his chest. I got in his face and growled through my teeth, “You’re supposed to be my head Beta. It’s your job to fix this.”

“And I live for the day when I get to kill you and call myself Alpha, you little shit.”

“Chaos!” Avery spun around and stepped between us, pressing her palms to Alcaeus’s chest. “Down, boy.”

“Why are you taking his side in this? You’re always taking his side,” Alcaeus whined. “Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny, Avery.”

Christ, he really couldn’t fix it. I was royally fucked.

And Avery really was laughing. Hysterically. She looked about ready to double over with laughter where she stood, wheezing and shaking, leaning into Alcaeus’s chest.

“What the hell is so funny?” I snapped.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Alcaeus fired back.

“You marked,” Avery managed to get out amid wheezing laughter, “Alpha Milena’s”—another wheeze—“childhood BFF.” She turned away from Alcaeus and flung her arms around me, squeezing me in a hug. “You’re so much more fun than I ever thought you’d be.”

“Wait—” I pulled back to see a look of wicked triumph light her features. “No.” I shook my head. “No, no, no, it wasn’t like that. This wasn’t about revenge against my sister. It was an accident. I never meant to mark Bethany. I just got carried away.”

“Carried away?” Alcaeus balked, tugging Avery away from me. “You think?”

Avery snorted. “Whatever you say, Boss Man. But you should know, this kind of thing starts to look a lot less like a heat-o-the-moment mishap and more like a crime scene after about ... oh, the twelfth bite.”

“I did not bite her twelve times.” It was more like seven.

Or ten.

“Well, I counted eight without checking her ass.” Avery patted my shoulder. “And I don’t have to look to know you marked her hiney. That’s such a surfer-Alpha thing to do.”

“I did not mark her ass,” I denied.

Fuck, I definitely remembered biting her ass. More than once.

“I don’t understand how any of this could have happened. How the hell did things get so far out of hand between you two last night in the first place?” Alcaeus’s eyes cut to the bed where Bethany still lay unconscious despite our loud bickering. “Just how drunk was she? Last I heard, Bethany was engaged to some loser who was cheating on her.”

“Whoa—wait, what did you say?” My inner animal stirred at the mention of my mate’s cheating ex. “How did—you knew Gregg was cheating on Bethy? And you never told me? How long have you known?”

Alcaeus’s eyes widened. “Bethy?” He looked from me to Avery and back again. “Please tell me this is all a bad joke.”

Avery shrugged and said with a smile, “I’m as delightfully surprised as you are to learn about Raul’s new girlfriend.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Gregg was cheating?” I repeated.

Alcaeus threw his hands up. “Why on earth would I think to tell you? I forgot about it almost as soon as Alex and Milena mentioned it to me. How was I supposed to know you were harboring some weird childhood crush on Beth-y that would result in you losing your damn mind and attacking her like a chew toy?”

“How long?” I pressed him through clenched teeth. “When did Alex and Miles mention to you that Gregg was cheating? And don’t call her Bethy. Only I can call her that.”

His eyes rolled. “Six months ago. Maybe seven? Yeah, more like seven. It was when I went back to Morumbi to visit them.” His shoulders tensed. “Before all the shit went down between us over Sloane.” Alcaeus’s family’s betrayal over Avery and her daughter, Sloane, remained a festering wound. “By the way, I’m pretty sure Alex calls her Bethy.”

“How did they know about it? Bethany just found out about Gregg’s cheating.” Or at least it had seemed that way last night. Bethany had said that she hadn’t even given Gregg a chance to explain himself yet. I really needed to kill that guy.

Alcaeus sighed and rubbed his temple. “Alex went snooping around in the fiancé’s head and found out about it that way.”

“And they didn’t tell her?” They’d known for seven months? Maybe longer? My blood boiled at the knowledge that Miles had known about this and hadn’t even thought to warn Bethany away from Gregg. Suddenly I felt less concerned about the flak I was going to catch from my sister for marking her best friend. “What kind of a best friend doesn’t warn a person that their fiancé is cheating on them?”

“A shitty one,” Avery inserted.

“Exactly,” I agreed.

“Give your sister a break. What was Milena supposed to say? It’s not like she could tell Bethany how Alex discovered Gregg was cheating.”

Alcaeus was often quick to come to my little sister’s defense—despite the fact that he wasn’t on speaking terms with her at present. It was an annoying habit of his. And I wasn’t the only one bothered by it. Avery and I shared a look as Alcaeus proceeded to justify Milena’s actions.

“Bethany doesn’t know about Milena and Alex being werelocks. She knows nothing of our world. And that’s by Bethany’s own choice,” he said, giving me that pointed, know-it-all look of his that always made me want to smash his face in. “Milena was right to stay out of it. It’s Bethany’s business. Alex shouldn’t have been snooping around in Gregg’s head in the first place.”

Squelching the impulse to lash out, I shook my head and argued, “Bethany doesn’t know about Miles or any of us being werelocks because your former pack took the liberty of erasing from her mind all knowledge of what she learned and witnessed firsthand in South America ten years ago.” Along with the memory of our first kiss.

“Right. And I’m telling you that Remy erased Bethany’s memory at her own request,” Alcaeus continued, his revelation prompting an unwelcome ache in my chest. “Bethany chose to have her mind erased. To forget that her best friend had become a powerful werewolf subspecies. She can’t have it both ways. When you ask to be kept in the dark, that’s what you get. Besides, you don’t think Milena felt hurt by Bethany’s choice? Abandoned?”

“You don’t think that just once you could stop playing devil’s fucking advocate for every situation I find myself in?”

“A good Alpha analyzes situations from all sides and remains flexible in his thinking.”

“Boys,” Avery cut in, “what does it matter who erased whose mind at whose request and who’s still acting butthurt over it, hmm? The important thing here is that Raul has chosen a mate, and whether he did it by accident”—she gave me an exaggerated wink—“or to mess with his power-trippin’ sister, the fact remains, this is fucking awesome news.” She raised a hand in the air. “I call dibs on planning the engagement party. I’ll just go send a save-the-date email invite right now to Milena to get the fun started, ’kay?”

“No,” Alcaeus objected, wrapping an arm around Avery and pulling her into his side. “Honey, that’s not the way to handle the Blind Warrior.”

“Oh, c’mon, Raul started it. I’m just jumping in to support our Alpha.”

“What happened last night had nothing to do with Miles,” I insisted once more. “It was about me and Bethy.”

Alcaeus pulled a face. “Can you please stop calling her that? It only makes this entire scenario sound that much more absurd.”

“It does not. It’s what Miles and I always called Bethany growing up.”

“Omigod,” Avery erupted, clasping her hands together in front of her heart as understanding lit her brown eyes. “Bethy’s the hot blonde I caught you stalking on Facebook using your catfish profile, isn’t she? She’s the one Weenie Gabe was talking about—Milena’s med student friend living in San Francisco.”

I nodded.

Alcaeus’s forehead crumpled. “Just how long has this been going on?”

“Long enough,” Mike answered from the doorway.

“Mike,” Alcaeus greeted with a sigh. “How could you let this happen? I specifically told Stephen to tell you to make sure—”

“I know, Chaos,” Mike said, addressing Alcaeus by Avery’s outrageous nickname for him—that had somehow caught on with my entire pack since Alcaeus and Avery had joined us seven months ago. “But you can only deny a true mate connection for so long. It’s a wonder Raul managed to make it a whole decade with his sanity intact.”

Avery let out a little gasp. “This explains so much.”

“More than a decade,” I corrected under my breath. “Not that I’ve been keeping track.”

“Are you shitting me?” Alcaeus’s scowl swung in my direction. “That’s impossible. No one can avoid the mating pull for that long. I don’t believe it.”

“No?” I held my arms open. “Well, believe it, because you’re looking at it.”

“It’s not possible.” Alcaeus’s eyes cut from me to Mike, who nodded soberly. “Jesus, Raul, every time I start to think you can’t possibly be as much of an idiot Alpha as Alex was to mentor, you go and prove me wrong.”

“Stop comparing me to—”

“There is no way,” he insisted. “Bethany can’t be your true mate. You kidnapped her ten years ago. You held her life over Milena’s head—”

“I had to play along with Gabe and Nuriel’s plan,” I defended. “I had no choice back then. It would’ve been more dangerous for Bethany had I revealed my true intentions. But I was never going to let any harm come to her. Damnit, I even told Miles that after it was all over. Do you have any idea how sick I was over that entire situation?”

“No, Raul,” Alcaeus said, his arm falling from around Avery’s shoulder as he turned fully to face me, his volume rising along with his anger. “I honestly don’t. Forgive me if I have a hard time keeping track of what lies you’re spinning as half-truths from one week to the next to justify all the bullshit you’ve—”

“Hey, should we check Bethy’s vitals, maybe?” Avery asked the room, her puzzled gaze fixed on my mate’s unmoving form on the bed. “I mean her heart rate sounds fine from here, and I can hear her breathing, but that poor hickey-ridden girl is seriously zonked to be sleeping through all this.”

Mike coughed behind his fist, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile myself.

Alcaeus shook his head at the ceiling and complained, “You always do this.”

It was true. Avery often managed to insert herself in order to diffuse the escalating tension between her mate and me.

“What?” Avery feigned innocence. “You mean play devil’s advocate? Remain flexible in my thinking? I thought you liked—”

I let out a laugh as Alcaeus lunged for Avery, lifting her off the ground and into his arms as he growled against the crook of her neck, causing her to squeal and giggle. As much as Alcaeus was a thorn in my side, Avery was the balm. I loved that girl. She joked about it, but in many ways, she had assumed the role of surrogate big sister in my life since joining the pack.

Mike had once jokingly described Avery as a hotter, blacker version of J.Lo—all the poise, booty, and confidence of the megastar, but without the bling and diva-persona baggage. A fair surface-level assessment, I supposed.

In truth, Avery was a warrior. She could throw a punch better than most guys I knew. She’d grown up the hard and fast way—without much, if any, adult guidance, and having to figure out on her own how to survive whatever life had thrown at her. Then, ten years ago at the age of thirty-two, she’d been attacked and impregnated by a rogue werewolf, and she’d had to figure out how to navigate her new life as a lone werewolf on the run with her child—who was being hunted by powerful supernatural predators from around the globe.

Avery had put her trust in me and in my pack to protect her daughter, Sloane. It wasn’t a responsibility I took lightly. Avery was someone I never wanted to let down.

“I’m planning to bring Bethy to Bariloche later today to have Rafe take a look at her,” I assured Avery once Alcaeus stopped smooching on her and had set her back down on her feet.

“Well, in the meantime, you might wanna get inside her head and heal some of those bite marks and handprint bruises a little better before she wakes up, Romeo,” she advised. “Lick them better at the very least. A girl can only do so much with concealer.”

I cringed internally at the reminder of the greater obstacle and impending danger at hand where Bethany was concerned. “So … about that,” I addressed Alcaeus directly, assuming an Alpha tone. “I need you to remove the block your former pack placed on Bethany’s mind a decade ago. It’s some sort of emotional shield, and I can’t—”

“Wait—what?” he interrupted. A look of realization washed over his features, and then he confirmed my greatest fear. “Aw, fuck. That shield was Remy’s work.”

“You’re blocked out?” Avery exclaimed, aghast. “But then Bethy’s initial transformation—”

“Yes,” I confirmed, not eager to hear her spell out aloud the harsh reality we were now facing—a reality that Avery herself was painfully familiar with.

If we couldn’t find a way to get inside Bethany’s mind, then I wouldn’t be able to control her initial shift in seven days’ time. And Avery was the only known human in werewolf history to have survived the initial werewolf transformation completely unassisted by one of our kind.