Chapter Sixteen

Beth

I’m an idiot. A complete idiot. I can’t believe I allowed myself to think for even one second that everything was going to be different with him. He fooled me. And for what? Maybe it’s all part of a plan that earns him the spot.

Ugh, I can’t keep referring everything back to that. I knew the risks of being together, but that was his father. Wouldn’t he want his father to know the truth? If anyone is going to be supportive, to see his side of things, family would be it, wouldn’t it?

What am I even saying? When you’re the last person in your family anyone can rely on, you don’t really get to start handing out family advice. Either way, what Maverick did to me just now is not okay.

I slam the door behind me. Abby’s car was gone when I got home, so I know I’m alone. Which is good. My friends have maybe seen me cry three times in the entire time I’ve known them. I’m not about to let it show again. And it would have, because I can’t control the tears streaming off my cheeks right now.

My heart aches. I’ve never known a pain like this. I’ve made it only from his place to mine, yet I’ve gone through three stages where I couldn’t breathe, I wasn’t sure if my hands would stop shaking, I wasn’t sure if what just happened was real. Denial—I think that’s what it’s called.

Now though, I just want to curl up and cry because everything I thought was good wasn’t.

I set my purse on the table and lay on the couch. I pull one of the brown suede décor pillows to my chest and begin to sob. Even through the god-awful noise I’m making, I can hear my cell phone vibrating against my keys inside my purse. It’s been ringing since about halfway here. I know it’s him even though I haven’t actually looked at my phone. I don’t need to. I’m not going to answer it. What would I even say? What could he possibly have to say to me?

For once, I have nothing to say. Nothing to argue. There is no excuse for him calling me a coworker when not even twenty-four hours ago he was telling me I am his girlfriend.

The noise stops but my tears don’t. How have my friends gone through multiple boyfriends before they found their husbands? I hope this pain doesn’t last long and the moment it’s over, I’m going back to vetoing all relationships. My life was so much easier then—a whole two and half months ago.

“Hello, hello,” Abby calls out when she bursts through the door. Well, she might not have done that, but it sure as shit sounds like it when the door bounces off the wall. Either that or I’m jumpy. Probably a mix.

I sit up, wiping away the tears and hoping that the makeup I’d managed to salvage from last night isn’t smeared all over again. I also take a deep breath to halt my crying.

Fuck, why can’t I stop crying? I hardly knew him.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asks, rushing to sit next to me. She pulls me into her side and her touch is a new button that sets me off. I start crying all over again.

“Tell me what happened. Did they already choose someone for the job? Oh my gosh, they didn’t pick you. Those assholes,” she seethes for me. I like that she assumes it was the job. She had that much faith in him, too, it turns out, so we were both wrong.

I give a crap attempt to sit up.

“It wasn’t the job,” I clarify. Although I wish that were the reason because admitting I’m a hot mess because of a boy is going to be a first for me. “Maverick is an ass and he isn’t welcome in our apartment anymore.”

“Whoa, straight to eighty-sixed, huh? He must have messed up really bad to get that.”

More like he basically told me I was his world and followed that up by begging me to commit and then poof, just like Austin said, everything between us vanished.

Oh my god, Austin is smarter than me. He knew exactly what was going to happen. He tried to warn me and I was so mesmerized by what I thought was right that I let this happen.

“Now, now, take a deep breath or you’re going to start hyperventilating, and I’m not so sure there is anything in the world that could be that bad.”

“You’re just saying that because your heart feels no pain,” I say.

“Hey now, that’s not true. It hurts looking at you and your big red puffy eyes right now.”

Ugh.

“Yeah, but I’ve never seen you cry over a guy before. You ditch and switch them before they can hurt you.”

And now Abby is smarter than me. What the fuck did Maverick do to my brain?

She laughs. “I don’t switch and ditch anyone.”

“Still, I should have never believed anything that came out of his mouth.”

Everything he said sounded so right and like he meant it. Maybe I missed something and I’m overreacting.

No.

I can’t be one of those girls. He did wrong. I can’t make excuses for him because I don’t want to accept this.

“I’m sure he meant most of it. Tell me what happened, and maybe an outside opinion will help get a better perspective,” she says.

Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m obviously clueless when it comes to men.

“I better start with yesterday at the company picnic when—”

“Beth!” His shout is followed by a single knock.

“Ballsy. I’ll give him that.” Abby looks at the door.

I jump up and rush to it like he’s going to open it and come in before I get to tell him to go away. But he doesn’t, so I do.

“Beth, please just let me explain.”

“Pretty sure you lost that privilege when you acted like I was nothing to you,” I argue back.

“Ouch, yeah, that’s going to be a tough one to come back from,” Abby adds and then wanders into her room, closing her door.

“I know, I know. I just … I wasn’t thinking. Please let me come in.”

“No.”

“Fine, but we still need to go over this presentation and who will deliver each section to TACM.”

“Don’t weasel your way in here with work talk,” I snap.

“I’m not being a … weasel. If you don’t believe me, open the door a crack and I’ll hand you the printed slides. You’ll confirm I’m not lying and then we can put them in order. It’ll take five seconds. I’ll go home and label the slides and sort them into the correct order,” he says.

I stare at the door handle as if it’s going to give me the answer. It would be really nice to focus on something else for a few minutes, even if it is with Maverick. I still need to put work first.

If I’d have been doing that in the first place, I wouldn’t be standing here with a broken heart.

Maverick

“As much as I would love to dive into work right now, this isn’t anything we can’t discuss on Monday morning, Maverick.”

My heartbeat picks up.

Yes, I’m being a weasel as she called it, but how else am I going to get in there to talk to her? I have to make this right.

“Beth, please,” I plead with her.

“I don’t do this, Maverick!” she shouts through the door. “I don’t have fights and make up. I fight and move on. It’s for the best.”

“I disagree.”

“Well, you lost your vote when you called me your coworker. Perhaps I’ll start calling you … jackass or … no, lying sack of shit.”

“I messed up, okay. I know I did and I’m so, so sorry, Beth.” I rush the words out before she can argue with me to leave, again. “Please, open the door. Please.”

Please.

She comes into view slowly; I let my gaze take her in from bottom to top, and my heart skips. Her eyes are a bit puffy and red.

As though my heart can’t think of enough to do right now, it drops to my stomach and then jumps back up my throat. I did that. I made her hurt.

I reach for her, but she steps back.

“Please, Maverick,” she hesitates, “don’t.”

I deserve that.

She doesn’t step aside to let me, but I’ll take it. She opened the door. That’s all I need.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat, because I don’t know what else to say.

“I know you are,” she says, lifting her head to look at me. She licks her lips and I stand frozen as I watch a tear fall. “But I don’t think there is anything you can say to me that will make this better. You made your choice and so have I. Now, I need to make better ones.”

“Just let me explain—”

“I feel like that’s all our relationship has been, Maverick. Me listening to you explain everything. I’m tired of waiting for you to be open with me. I just want honesty, and it’s clear that somewhere inside you’re scared to admit the truth to people.”

“I am honest. I’m just so fucking tired of disappointing people. Until you, my job was everything to me. President has always been my goal, and even though I still want it, other parts of my life have changed and I obviously don’t know how to handle it. I know how to sell product to a client, to bargain my way to the best deals, to control a room full of fifty employees, but this … you and me … it’s new to me.”

She sighs, leaning against the frame of her door, still not allowing me inside. “It’s new for me too.”

“I should have just told him. I know that now.” God, I want to reach for her. Pull her into my arms and never let go.

“Did you tell your dad the truth after I left?” she asks.

I want to look away because she isn’t going to like my answer, but I can’t. I shake my head.

She releases a long sigh and drops her chin to her chest.

I know how it looks. No one has been harder on me than I have been to myself over this whole fucking stupid situation. But when my dad said keep sex and work separate I gave him my word. Letting him down is what got me here and yet I’m here and letting him down all over again.

My mother would be so unhappy with me.

Be a hardworking, trusting, and considerate man, Maverick. And most of all, please keep your father happy. It shouldn’t be hard to do; you’ve always made him proud.

“How do you expect me to believe you when you’re here right now saying you know you did the wrong thing yet you haven’t done anything to make it right?”

“I have a lot at stake here and I—”

“I don’t want to hear what you have at stake anymore!” The rise in her voice catches me off guard. “I’m sick of listening to what this job has done to you, Maverick. I have things to lose too. They may not seem as huge to you, but they are big to me. And if you can’t figure that out, then you never truly cared about me, and for that, I think you should leave.”

She steps back, ready to close the door.

“No, I do know. I just … fuck, I can’t even say the right thing right now. I’m trying, Beth. I’m trying so hard to make this work for everyone. I also knew the consequences of being with you. I know it could cost me my job and yet here I am. I want to make this work.”

She sighs loudly, shaking her head and folding her arms in front of her as she leans on the wall. At least that looks like she might be settling in to talk more. I mean, I hope that’s what it means.

“Maverick, if that were true, you’d have told everyone else the truth, too.”

“I’ll tell them all tomorrow. Every last one.”

She releases a long sigh. “I really want to believe you.”

“So do— trust me. I know I messed up, I know what I did was wrong. Let me fix it and I swear to you, I’ll never let you down again.”

She shifts on her feet, focusing on something behind me. I don’t look to see what it is because if I do, I might miss the signal that she’s going to give me one more chance.

“Please,” I beg, reaching for her hand and lacing our fingers. She jerks her hand back.

“Actions speak louder than words, Maverick. It’s an old saying, but right now, those words haven’t never been so true. You want this to work, prove it. Until then, I want to focus on nothing but my job.”

Her door is closed before I can say anything more.

My heart pinches with each step I take away from her apartment. It’s when I get to my car that everything finally clicks.

For the first time in a long time, I know exactly what I need to do.