“So, are you planning on wearing that for the next week?” Kieran asked his twin brother, surveying the Santa suit Kane was wearing. “Because it’s not even Christmas yet.”

“Fuck yeah, and I got you one, too.” Kane opened up a duffel bag he’d brought with him to the parent’s house and pulled out a green full-sized elf costume. “Here!”

Kieran tossed the elf costume onto the kitchen counter next to them. “Literally never going to happen.”

“If you’re not helping me cook, then out.” Dee shooed them away, tossing the duffel bag at Kane. “This kitchen is crowded enough! Where’s Quinny? He can come in. I’ve missed him too much.”

“Quinn, Mother Dearest is requesting your presence,” Kane called out into the hallway.

Dee smacked Kane on the arm, but she was laughing. “You little shite.”

“Come on, man. Let’s leave Ma alone.” Kieran pushed his twin out of the kitchen and into the hallway. The majority of his family was in the living room or dining room, and the loud conversations and laughter rang throughout the house. “Wanna grab some air?” Kieran nodded toward the front door.

“Sure. You okay?”

Kieran pulled open the front door and stepped onto the front stoop. Kane closed it behind him and walked down the steps to the bottom. Leaning against the railing, Kane shoved his hands in the pockets of his bright red pants and looked back up at him.

Sitting on the top step with a loud exhale, Kieran ran his hands through his dark brown hair. “Fuck, K. I’m exhausted.”

“Kid keeping you up at nights?” Kane asked.

Kieran shrugged his shoulder. “Gavin sleeps pretty well, but it’s these terrible two’s that are getting to me. He’s a wonderful kid but a handful. That would all be fine, but…”

“You’ve got Shea, and Fi’s pregnant.” Kane finished the thought for him.

He nodded slowly, glad not to be the one to say it. He didn’t want to sound like an asshole, or ungrateful, because he loved their little makeshift family more than anything else in the world. Marrying Fiona was the best decision he’d ever made, and adopting Shea had been the second best decision, only they’d made that together. But the fact that she was on the autism spectrum had sometimes made life complicated—especially now that Shea was in her teenage years.

“How’s Fi doing? Feeling any better?” Kane asked. “Ma said she didn’t come tonight.”

“She stayed home. Wanted the night to herself. Last week, too.” Kieran dropped his head into his hands. “The doctor’s saying she might need to be on bed rest.”

“Shit.”

“I hate that I can’t do anything about it, you know? Like I can’t help her feel better. She’s sick all the time, and she’s angry and frustrated.” He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a loud exhale. “I don’t blame her, but it also just makes it even harder to help. She doesn’t even want to be around Gavin much. I’m taking him on more and more because she needs time alone so much. I don’t know what to do, K.”

“Want me to ask Nora to go over there this week and talk to her? Sounds like her field, bro.”

Kane’s girlfriend was a counselor, and Fiona’s childhood best friend, so it could be a good idea. He nodded his head slowly, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Ask her. It can’t hurt at this point.”

“I’ll ask her right now.” Kane walked back up the steps, dropping a hand on Kieran’s shoulder. “It’ll be all right, man. You’re a great husband and an even better father. You’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, K. And, hey, sorry for unloading on you. Especially when you’re about to—”

“I know.” Kane smiled, cutting him off. “I see all your happy. Gonna get me some, too.”

Kieran laughed, watching Kane retreat back into the house. He didn’t stand up from the stoop, preferring to stare at the quiet, darkened street instead. Sliding his phone out of his pocket, he checked for a message from his wife, but there was none. He sighed, hanging his head again.

Marrying Fiona in Vegas so many years ago had been the best moment of his entire life. He’d met her only days after he’d been released from prison and still felt insanely lucky that he’d managed to convince the beautiful florist to fall in love with an ex-con turning his life around. Thankfully, she did, and then Gavin was born. Kieran honestly thought it wasn’t possible to be any happier. Life was everything he’d dreamt of with him, Fiona, Shea, and Gavin in their new home in Woodlawn. Shea was in great schools specifically geared for her needs, and Gavin was Kieran’s mini-me. It was the highest point in his life.

So, when Fiona had told him she was pregnant a second time, he’d been thrilled. Parenthood was hard, but it’d been so damn rewarding. Twice over just sounded like more blessings. How could that be a bad thing?

Then Fiona had begun bleeding and cramping, her blood pressure rose, and they’d been in an out of the hospital a few times trying to keep her and their baby safe. Thankfully, they’d managed to do that so far, but there were still another four months to go. Doctors were now beginning to worry about her low amniotic fluid levels, and everything about it terrified him.

Of course, it had to be so much worse for Fiona, but she didn’t want to talk to him about it. He heard her crying a lot, and he had no idea how to help. They’d bicker and argue, stress getting the better of both of them. Maybe they just needed some time alone to be a couple again. Forget about the pregnancy fears and parenthood responsibilities.

Kieran glanced back at the front door, thinking about it. Getting to his feet, he went inside to find his mother.

“Hey, Ma,” he began, approaching her in the kitchen and lowering his voice. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Anything, baby. What do you need?” She scooped a spoon into a bowl of mashed potatoes and offered him the bite.

He took it, momentarily reveling in how amazing his mother’s cooking was. “Think I can leave Gavin and Shea here tonight? Pick them up in the morning?”

“Of course! You know I love watching them. Gavin’s with Seamus watching football right now. He looks so much like your father. It’s crazy.”

“Thanks, Ma.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll text you in the morning when I’m on my way.”

“Wait!” She grabbed a couple pieces of Tupperware out of the kitchen cabinet. “Let me pack some food for you and Fi. That poor girl needs some home cooked food. It’ll be good for you two to spend some quiet time together.”

Kieran smiled, loving his mother a little more in that moment than ever before. The way she loved and cared for everyone in their family, including all her daughters-in-law, was heartwarming.

About thirty minutes later, Kieran pulled into his driveway and parked the car. He could see the light in the bedroom was on, but the rest of the house was dark. Grabbing the bag of food, he headed into the house and locked the door behind him.

“Fiona?” Kieran called out as he headed for the kitchen, depositing the food in the fridge. “I’m home.”

The sounds of sniffling and crying were unmistakable as he ascended the stairs toward the master bedroom. Pushing open the door, he stepped over the threshold and spied her small frame curled around a blanket in bed. He couldn’t see her stomach, but knew she was cradling her swollen belly.

“Fi?”

“Oh, hi.” She immediately wiped at her face and nose. Her straight brown hair fell flat around her face, a little lackluster as of late, but still just as beautiful. She sat up and began composing herself. “What are you doing back so soon? Are the kids here?”

“They’re at Ma’s,” Kieran assured her. “She’s going to keep them overnight.”

Fiona’s shoulders immediately sagged, relief flooding her expression. She nodded slowly then cleared her throat. “That’s probably a good idea. Thank you.”

“Can I get in with you?” He pointed to the space in the bed next to her. “Or I can fix you a plate of food Ma sent with me?”

“I’m not hungry.” She eyed the bed quietly for a moment then lifted the covers to invite him in.

Kieran kicked off his shoes and then slid under the blanket, curling his body around hers and securing her back tightly to his chest. Fuck, it felt damn good to hold her. She’d been so closed off and distant lately, not to mention their toddler who crawled in between them most nights, that he hadn’t even realized how long it had been since he’d simply embraced his own wife.

Her hair smelled like flowers, but he realized he couldn’t think of the last time he’d seen her working down in her shop. They had several employees who helped run it, which gave them both a lot more freedom. However, being a florist was still something she loved. While she definitely needed to take it easy and not do any work right now, he made a mental note to bring her a bouquet.

“Kieran?” Fiona was whispering now, barely audible in the dark bedroom.

“Yeah?”

She swallowed so hard, he felt her shoulders shake. “I could lose this baby. I could die and lose you and Gavin and Shea.”

Kieran tightened his grip around her, pulling her harder against him. No fucking way was either of those things happening. Not if he could do anything to stop it. “We’re going to get through this, Fi.”

“But we might not.”

He didn’t reply this time. It didn’t seem like she wanted him to. Like maybe she just wanted to worry out loud for a moment, and as much as the very idea scared the shit out of him, if she needed him to listen, he would.

“If it were to ever come down to me or this baby, I want you to save our child. I want you to raise Gavin, Shea, and…what would we name him? Or her?”

“Whatever name you want.” Kieran couldn’t imagine being in a situation where he’d be raising three children alone, though he knew he had the support systems in place to do it if he had to. But it wasn’t an option. He’d never allow anything to happen to her. If he had to choose between Fiona or this baby…fuck. He wasn’t sure he could.

“Grace, if it’s a girl. After your grandmother.”

Kieran nodded. “Pops will love that.”

“If it’s a boy…Gale?”

“Strong Irish name. I like it.” Kieran nuzzled his face into her hair, breathing in her floral scent and then kissing her neck. “You’re going to be here, Fi. You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it.”

She curled her fingers around his forearm, holding him in place against her. Placing small kisses against his hand and wrist, she finally sighed. “I’m just frightened…and ashamed. I should be able to do this. I should be able to carry my child. Your mother carried five! My mother…I saw her lose a pregnancy once.”

Kieran was quiet—he hadn’t heard this story before.

“She…I think she did it on purpose. I’m not sure. I was so young. There was so much blood, and she had me help her. She said we couldn’t afford the hospital bills and we didn’t have insurance. No idea who the father was.” Fiona trembled, a shiver running through her body. “I can’t face that again, Kieran. I’m not strong enough.”

“Fi, what your mother put you and Shea through as a child was…well, it was downright abusive. You’ll never have to go through that again. You’re not alone anymore, and you never will be. Even if something were to happen to this baby—God forbid—I’ll be with you the entire time. You’re so strong. I know you’re in pain and feeling sick all the time, and I wish there was something I could do to take that away, but there is no doubt in my mind that you can do this.”

She didn’t reply right away, kissing his hand again instead. Finally, she spoke but her voice was shaky and weighted with emotion. “I’m sorry for how distant I’ve been lately. I’m so hormonal, and nauseous. I love you so much though.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed her cheek.

“I spoke to the doctor yesterday, and he got my results from Friday’s appointment…” Her words trailed off.

Nerves settled in Kieran’s stomach. “What did he say?”

“He said I’ll need to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, in hopes that will keep my amniotic fluid levels from lowering even more.” She sniffed and began crying again. “I’m so sorry, Kieran. I hate this. I won’t be able to do anything, or even run around with our son. And Shea…God, I love my sister so much. She’s the whole world to me, so I don’t want to sound ungrateful or bitchy, but how do I take care of a toddler and a special needs teenager while on bed rest?” Her sobs came harder and heavier now. “I can’t do it, which means it’ll mostly be on you, and you already have so much on your plate. I feel like a damn failure.”

Kieran blinked, trying to take in everything she’d just said. It was barely audible because she was speaking so quickly, and her words were blurred by sobs and sniffling. “Fi, we can handle this. Bed rest is going to be a breeze. We’ll hire help, and I’ll ask my mom to take the kids more regularly. She’ll love that.”

Fiona laughed, and it sounded choked and snotty since she was crying. That just made him laugh, too. She turned onto her back and looked at him, wiping her face with a tissue from the nightstand. “You don’t think she’ll mind?”

“Please, we’ll be lucky if she doesn’t try to move in.”

Fiona laughed. “What about Christmas? We were all supposed to be at your parents, and Gavin was so looking forward to that. I’d either have to keep him from that, or miss Christmas with him.”

“Easy.” Kieran reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, dialing his mother’s number.

She picked up on the first ring. “Yes, mo mhac.” My son.

“Hey, Ma. How are the kids?”

“Good, but question…is there a limit on how much mashed potatoes you’re okay with Gavin having? Quinn is apparently having a potato eating contest with him, and, well, Gavin’s winning.”

“What! Ma, he’s two.”

“He’s a Kavanagh, Kieran.”

Fiona laughed, listening in on the conversation.

“Ma, I was calling because I wanted to know if we could change the plans and have everyone come over to our house for Christmas Eve next week.”

“Instead of here like we do every year?” She didn’t seem thrilled with the idea.

Kieran felt Fiona sag slightly beside him. “Yeah. Fi’s on bed rest.”

“Oh, sweet Mary and Joseph. That’s horrible. For how long?”

“The rest of her pregnancy,” Kieran answered.

There was a muffled sound on the other end of the phone, then he could hear his mother yelling to whoever else was in the room. Best guess, it was probably the entire family. “We’re doing Christmas Eve at Kieran’s next week, everyone. What? No. Because I said so. For feck’s sake, don’t give him more mashed potatoes, Quinny. Seamus, I’m going to go pack our bags. We’re going to move in with Kieran for the next four months.”

Kieran’s eyes widened. “Wait! Ma!”

“What did she just say?” Fiona whispered. “Did she say they’re moving in?”

“What?” Dee returned to the phone. “You’ve got the space. We’ll be there in the morning with the kids, and it’ll be fine. I’ll take care of everything. You just tell that beautiful wife of yours to relax. Love you, baby!”

The line disconnected.

Kieran stared at the phone in his hand. “Shit.”

“I mean…it will be really helpful,” Fiona said, chewing on her bottom lip.

He looked at her, then they both dissolved into fits of laughter. Only his family could be a blessing and a curse at the same damn time.