Chapter Nineteen

Maggie

In the pre-dawn darkness, I slip from Trig’s bed and drive home. In the night, he murmured something about feeling better. The pain was gone. My mind returns to the events of last night. Trig never touches me and now I’m returning to my house with his mark on my neck. I pull my hair forward so it obscures the dark bruise.

Beast.

When I’d offered to take dinner to Trig’s house, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The house was dark, but the door was unlocked. The dogs barked but mostly they were interested in the meal I carried. They followed me up the walkway, wagging their tails and whining.

It freaked me out to see Trig, suffering. He lay across the bed, his huge frame filling the king-sized frame. He was bare-chested, clad only in boxers. I’d always known he was muscular, but holy shit. He looked like he was hewn from granite. I had to know he was okay and, for that reason and that reason alone, I touched him on the shoulder.

The next thing I knew he was pulling me into his arms. I resisted… for about five seconds. I would have done anything to make him feel better and if he wanted to hold me, I had no problem with that. It’s not like I hadn’t imagined his arms wrapped around me thousands of times.

It all happened so fast. One minute I stood beside the bed, the next I lay beside him, his lips trailing kisses along my neck. He didn’t kiss my lips, but I loved every single thing he did to me. Until he started muttering about other times I’d been in his bed. That was when I wanted to get away from him. He didn’t know what he was doing, but I still didn’t need to hear how my tits were bigger than last time…

I really wanted to know what he meant. Or not.

Jane’s face lights up when I come in and I can tell she wants to ask how Trig is but the boys are already up, clamoring for attention. I slink away, feeling oddly like I’m doing the walk of shame. We didn’t do more than roll around a little. He touched my breast, drove me crazy, but we didn’t have sex. Still, I feel like we did dirty things. Dirty things that I’m not sure he’ll even remember.

I manage to shower, dress and get away from the house without saying much to either Wes or Jane. Just a quick comment that Trig seems much better. Wes tells me how much he appreciates it, especially since his brother and I don’t get along that well.

His words echo in my mind throughout the day. While I’m in class, I pay attention, but later, I can’t stop thinking about how Wes thinks we don’t get along. Why would he think that? Is it obvious or did Trig tell him he doesn’t care for me? When I imagine Trig saying that to Wes, it feels like my heart is being hollowed out with an melon-baller. It’s agony and I hold my chest until the pain fades.

Michael has a baseball game in the early evening, after the last class gets out, and instead of going home for dinner I head to the ball park. I’m late because Professor Corrigan likes to hear herself talk and class goes way over, but I manage to get to the game half-way through the first inning. I’m starving because I missed lunch. All I have is a bag of sunflower seeds, but it will have to do.

A few hardy souls sit in the bleachers, braving the February winds. Baseball in the winter seems wrong to me, but Michael’s select team plays year-round. Yay.

The whole family is here, including Jane’s sister, Gwen. She’s a slightly more portly version of Jane and lives in Houston with her husband. Both are lawyers. No children. Gwen can hardly tear her eyes from the game. Like Jane and Wes, she’s into baseball.

Trig leans against a post and yells encouragement to our team. We’re up to bat and Trig talks to each boy, telling them to wait for a good one. One of the twerps gets a base hit and everyone goes nuts. Even the other little monkeys, Thomas, Seth and Jimmy whoop and holler. The next boy in the line-up approaches the base and Thomas rummages in my purse like he always does during games. He knows I have gum. I buy it just for them to have during a game.

Trig strolls over to the bleachers and stands beside me. He’s just a little too close. “You were late.”

“Don’t give her a bad time, Trig,” Jane says. “Her last class usually goes over. Corrigan’s a windbag.”

The monkeys laugh. Thomas especially likes it, laughing the loudest, then he screws up his face and taps Jane on the shoulder. “What’s a windbag?”

“Someone who likes to talk,” Gwen says. “Like your Uncle John.”

The only one not laughing is Trig. He’s glaring at me. Since everyone else is watching the game, no one notices when he lifts his hand, and tugs the neck of my sweater down. His gaze fixes on the mark on my neck. My breath stalls as I wait for him to say something about last night. It’s not that I want to hear the words so much as see a sign that he remembers.

The crack of the bat hitting a ball draws a cheer from the bleachers but Trig keeps his gaze fixed on me. “Where were you?”

“Today?” I ask softly.

“Yeah. Today.”

“In school, Trig. You know I have class on Wednesdays.”

He drops his hand and nods. “Okay…”

I watch as ice collects in his gaze. A shiver rolls down my spine as it dawns on me that he doesn’t remember last night. Not one bit. I’ve replayed each moment a thousand times but he remembers nothing. Even worse, he thinks I’ve been with someone else. I’ve never had a hickey before and fuck if the first guy to give me one not only doesn’t remember, but thinks some other guy is responsible.

“Do we need to talk?”

I narrow my eyes. “About what?”

“I don’t want anyone around you.”

“There’s nobody,” I whisper. Except you.

His words are loaded with meaning. I know he’s trying to say things without actually saying them. Another boy scores a hit. The other side boos and hollers about unfair calls. A boy tries for home but the catcher manages to tag him. The inning is over and our guys race out to play defense.

Jane’s sister turns around and looks at me, and for a moment I wonder if she heard us. I’ve only met her a few times and we haven’t spoken much. Jane talks about her all the time and what a brilliant lawyer she is. I’ve always gotten the feeling she didn’t want Jane to take me in.

She studies Trig and lifts her brow, then turns her attention back to me. “I wanted to congratulate you on your early admission to Stowe. It’s a good school.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” Gwen says matter-of-factly.

“No one did.”

“Wes and I did,” Jane says over her shoulder.

Gwen’s lips curve into a smile that makes her look even more like Jane. “And your hair looks so pretty. You’re turning over a new leaf.”

I shrug a shoulder, wishing she’d just go back to watching the game but she’s not done yet. She cuts a glance to Trig and then back to me.

“I bet all the boys at Stowe are chasing you.”

Jane snorts. “My girl isn’t allowed to date. I won’t let anyone take her from me.”

The next inning begins and Jane yells encouragement to Michael, who’s pitching. “Easy out here, Michael. You got this. Easy out.”

Their first batter strikes out as do the next two. Trig doesn’t move, watching the inning from my side. He stands just a little too close and I know he’s trying to make a point. He doesn’t want me but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.

Trig’s a bully. He thinks he can mess around with anyone he wants and tell me what to do? Fuck that. I don’t work for him anymore so he can forget about bossing me around. About anything. Maybe I should ask him whose tits he imagined last night while he was pawing me.

I ignore him and focus on Michael’s game. Between innings, I talk to the Thomas, Seth and Jimmy, sharing my bag of sunflower seeds with my favorite monkeys.