I would miss the sea.

Likely the only thing I’d miss as a result of the wretched situation my clan and I had been forced into. The feeling of skimming through the water, feeling it all over me as I glided along.

Swimming had always come naturally to me. I’d swum the length of the loch closest to our mountain. Dunsapie Loch was as much home to me as our caves ever were.

But swimming it was nothing akin to swimming in living, moving, surging seawater which moved in waves, the current pulling it away from the shoreline only for the water to somehow find its way back. Once I’d gathered up the courage to allow my feet to leave the sandy bottom and let the water carry me, I’d taken to it as easily as I’d taken to flying.

The thought of flying stopped me.

Just like that, I was no longer enjoying myself. My stomach clenched tight, like a fist, and I had no choice but to tread water and wait for the feeling to pass.

Would that it were that easy.

What was I supposed to do once we returned home? I could no longer hide the change which had come over me. I could no longer hide my shame.

If there were an actual noose around my neck, tightening incrementally with each passing moment, taking me closer to returning to Scotland with my clan, I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised. I felt as though I was choking either way.

Who would ever have imagined feeling this way? When I had done nothing but long for home ever since the moment we’d been taken captive. When my dragon had screamed and thrashed against the power-stripping iron shackles which had bound my wrists and ankles all throughout the nauseatingly rough, stressful journey.

I would’ve given anything to be back at the caves. To wander through the enchanted trees which comprised the woods surrounding the mountain we’d called home for centuries, for longer even than almost any existing castles or monuments had managed to remain standing.

The enchantment placed on the woods so long ago had kept us safe—up until that day. That final day. What had gone wrong? Had the enchantment worn thin? Had we lived in a fool’s paradise, believing ourselves untouchable?

I shivered in spite of the warm water, in spite of the sun’s loving rays. Even the quality of sunlight felt different here, more… simply more. I never thought I’d come to love it so.

Would that I could stay.

Such a thought. Just another thing I never would’ve imagined otherwise, the very idea of living without my clan. My kin, my blood, those for whom I’d gladly lay down my life.

Some of them had laid down their lives for me, after all. But to what purpose? They were dead, while I and the others had still been captured and imprisoned in that laboratory. And used.

I allowed myself to sink under the surface until the water touched my chin. I would never feel clean, not ever, not after what he did…

“Hello, out there!”

I was barely able to bite back a scream when I heard his voice. My head swiveled back and forth, my eyes trained on the beach.

Who did I expect to see? The doctor? No, he was dead, I’d never see him again except in my nightmares. He was no longer a threat. He couldn’t hurt me anymore.

Who was it, then? I lifted a hand to my forehead to block the sun, and once I did, I recognized Klaus. He was seated on the sand, legs stretched out in front of him while he leaned back on his palms. And if I wasn't mistaken, it was my dress which he sat next to.

“What are you doing?” I called out, grateful for the presence of another. I wouldn’t have to sink deeper into dark memories. Not for the time being, anyhow.

“Relaxing on the beach. Why? Must there be a reason for my being here at this moment?”

“Do you want an honest answer?”

“I asked an honest question.”

I rolled my eyes, glad he couldn’t see me at a distance. “You must realize my clothing is at your side. Surely, you’re intelligent enough to understand that.”

“I am.”

“Therefore, it ought to go without saying that I’m not wearing that dress at this moment. Correct?”

“Correct.”

“Does it not occur to you, that I might not wish to come out of the water dressed in nothing but my underwear while you are present on the beach?”

“It did occur to me.” He looked up at the palm trees which hung over his head. “And I’ve given quite a lot of thought to my course of action.”

“What did you finally arrive at?”

He chuckled. “I decided it was only fair to announce my presence. I must admit, I hadn’t thought past that point.”

He had a nice sense of humor. I could see myself getting along well with him, especially since he seemed to be as big a talker as I was. I’d been known as the clan chatterbox since the word “chatterbox” came to be.

“I see. Allow me to remind you that I can’t stay out here indefinitely. My skin is beginning to prune.”

“But you won’t tire out, will you? Don’t bother using that as an excuse.”

I rolled my eyes again. “I wouldn’t dream of insulting your intelligence.” As a lion shifter, he knew what it was like to possess strength worlds greater than the humans we only appeared to be.

“I was just strolling along the beach, wanting to go for a swim of my own.”

“Thank you for that insight into your day.”

“Don’t you want to know why?”

“I have the feeling you’ll tell me no matter what my answer is.”

He laughed again, the sound floating across the water. I told myself he was merely being friendly, which was not exactly something all of Mary’s soldiers—if that was, indeed, what they were—had taken pains to do.

“I’m going to miss this place, is all,” he announced. “It’s beautiful. Paradise.”

My gaze lovingly grazed the beach, the palms, the clear water all about me. “Aye. It does seem that.” I never would’ve imagined feeling this way, having such a change of heart. Not if I lived another thousand years, I was certain.

I was free, however. It was natural that I be able to see the beauty around me for what it was after having been released from the lab. I hadn’t been able to do so right away; the jungle was always there, always reminding me of whatever might be lurking in the deep darkness. Just inside the trees, eyes watching me, waiting until I let my guard down…

And me, with no way to defend myself.

“I can hardly wait to see Scotland.”

I nearly forgot to keep paddling, I was so surprised. “What did you say?” I shouted, certain I’d misheard him.

He sat up, cupping his hands around his mouth. “I said, I can hardly wait to see Scotland.”

So, I was correct. I hadn’t imagined it. And how did it make me feel? I couldn’t say. The ever-present tightness in my chest seemed to be easing. I could breathe more freely. I no longer heard the blood rushing in my ears. Was I finally relaxing?

“You don’t look pleased,” he observed, leaning forward to rest thick forearms over his bent knees. Even in the shade, his longish hair was golden, and his eyes a keen, sharp blue which seemed to penetrate even from a distance.

“I’m neither pleased nor unhappy. I suppose the more help we get in securing the caves, the better.”

“Which is exactly why Mary wants me to go.” The suddenness of his jumping to his feet startled me, no less so than when he removed his shirt.

“What are you doing?” The familiar sound of rushing blood was back, but not for the same reason. I chided myself; so, he had an impressive body, what difference did it make? I’d spent my entire life among bodies just as impressive as his.

Perhaps that was the issue. He was different. He wasn’t one of my kin.

He also wasn’t a dragon. Lion shifters and their ilk were hardly in the same league as Scottish dragons descended from the very first ancient dragons to walk the Earth.

He turned to the side, kicking off his shoes. “I’m tired of postponing my swim, and I refuse to leave St. Lucia without at least one more dip.” His fingers worked the button at the waistband of his shorts.

My cheeks colored in spite of the reassurance from my common sense that it didn’t matter what Klaus looked like. He was trying to scare me away, and I knew it. Did he know how old I truly was? How much I’d seen over the course of a seemingly endless life?

“Enjoy. The water is just wonderful.” I dove in, touching the sandy bottom before slowly kicking my way to the surface once again. It was a short journey, the water perhaps no more than ten feet deep where I’d come to a stop.

When I resurfaced, he was swimming to me, powerful arms allowing him to cut through the water like a speedboat. I moved out of the way, giving him wide berth, then began slowly paddling my way back to shore.

“I don’t bite,” he promised on surfacing, shaking the hair out of his eyes and chuckling at what he likely saw as shyness on my part.

“Perhaps I do,” I called out over my shoulder, having turned my attention to the shoreline. “I suppose you’ll find out for yourself once we’ve reached Scotland.”

The mere mention of the place sent bile rushing to my throat. Would it ever feel like home again?

Especially when I wasn’t myself?

I was deliberate in my actions as I walked from the water, very aware of the amount of skin I revealed with each step. Soon, the waves curled around my ankles, and if Klaus was watching, he’d see the pink panties and bra I’d been swimming in. If anything, my costume was more modest than what I’d seen girls wearing on TV and in movies.

Even so, I felt naked. Goosebumps rose over my skin when the breeze drifted through the trees and touched me. I wrung my hair out before sliding into my dress, the linen sticking to me in a dozen places.

But I wouldn’t look over my shoulder. I didn’t want to find him looking at me. There was already far too much weighing on my mind. An unfamiliar lion shifter was the least of my problems.

We’d be leaving in the morning, before the sunrise. I missed my room back home, the only home I’d ever known. As comfortable as the resort was, as luxurious, it wasn’t the same as being truly comfortable in a space meant only for me. I never felt quite settled in. A thousand years in the same place made adjusting to a new location an impossibility.

The pavement was hot beneath my bare feet as I walked down the winding path which led from the beach, through the grounds, and into the shining, white building with its plywood-covered windows. The pool was packed with those like me who’d decided to get a little extra swimming and sunning in before going back to the mountains.

I waved to Leslie and Isla, both of whom stretched out on deck chairs beneath a wide umbrella. My twin brother, Alan, was playing some sort of game with Dallas, Owen and a handful of Mary’s men which involved a ball and a lot of splashing and yelling.

Amazing, really, how terrible the circumstances were which led us there, and how the unknowing outsider would never be able to guess at first glance our reason for being on the island at all. We looked like a bunch of young, frisky people on holiday.

I supposed it was easier for them to think of themselves that way, as well. Better than remembering what happened to us, how hopeless things had looked before Gate and Miles had come to save us.

It’s good that we’re leaving. It’s good that we’re going home. The fewer reminders of that time, the better.

That wasn’t the case for me, sadly.

I carried a reminder with me all the time.