I walked back into the room ten minutes ago, prepared to tell Lance everything. But here I am, on the bed next to him, unable to find the words. I’m frightened of losing him. I’m terrified of the way he would look at me after he knows the truth.

The time I’m giving myself before coming clean is a chance for me to mentally prepare myself for his goodbye when he discovers who I really am.

“Tell me the truth.” Lance’s hands form fists. “I need to know where the damn money is.”

“It’s gone, Lance.” The whisper rolls off my tongue and dies between us.

“I know it’s gone. Tell me what you used it for.” He takes a sharp breath. “This is not about the money. There’s more where it came from.” Every word is making his body shake. “This is about you, about us. I’m not about to enter into a marriage with someone who lies to me.”

“Lance.” Tears squeeze from the corners of my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“What is it exactly you’re sorry for?” he asks.

I get out of bed and move to the window, gazing out, but seeing nothing. “There’s something you need to know ... about me.”

When I don’t get a response, I turn to glance at him, my breath stuck in my throat. I turn back to the window and continue.

“I’m not who you think I am. My name is not Jia Summers.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that I lied to you, Lance—from the start. I’m not Jia. My real name is Alana Johnston.” My biological name tastes foreign on my tongue. It’s been years since I’ve said it. The sound of it makes my skin crawl.

When Lance speaks, after a long pause, his voice is dry and distant. “Who is Jia Summers?”

I turn back to him, twisting my engagement ring around my finger. “She doesn’t exist. She’s someone I wanted to be.”

“What exactly are you saying to me, Jia?”

“I’ve been living under a false identity for years now. I didn’t like the person I was back then, so I chose to be someone else. That person was Jia Summers.” I purse my lips to wait for another response from him. This is a lot of information for him to take in. He needs time to digest it, and it’s not even the worst of it all.

Lance gets to his feet and stands there, unmoving, his face pale. “Tell me you’re kidding. This has to be some kind of joke.”

I shake my head. “I’m so sorry.” I near him, reach out to touch his shoulder, but he shakes me off. I back off immediately. “I lied to you, but not about how I feel … about you. I love you, Lance. That’s the truth.”

He sinks onto the bed, eyes spitting fire. “Tell me everything.”

I turn back to the window and let it all spill out before I lose my courage. “I grew up in New York with a prostitute mother. My father left us when I was one, and my mother died of a drug overdose when I was eighteen.”

“You told me your mother died while giving birth to you.”

“I lied.” I feel my knees weakening, threatening to give up on me, so I move to the couch on the opposite end of the room. I sit with my back to him.

“You lied to me about everything?” His tortured voice makes my heart hurt.

“Not about everything.” I lift my chin. “Not when I told you I love you. I do love you. That will never change.”

“Don’t you dare tell me how much you love me when everything about you is a bloody lie.” His words are like a knife driving into my gut. “Go on, tell me what else I don’t know.”

I draw in a deep breath and bring my hands together as if about to pray. “After my mother died, I had nowhere to go. I ended up on the streets with nothing to my name. I was alone and afraid.”

I wait for him to say something that breaks off another piece of my heart, but he doesn’t speak. I might as well continue to get it all out into the open so he can decide whether he still wants to go ahead and marry me or if it all ends here.

I thought coming onto this ship I’d be running away from Kirk and the past he brought with him. I never thought I’d have to come clean by force. Now I know it’s better to tell Lance the truth than let someone else do it.

“Mama always told me that beauty is everything. She said I could use it to get anything I wanted. I never wanted to be like her. I wanted a different life, one I could be proud of. But out of desperation, I found myself doing things I never thought I was capable of.”

“You became a prostitute, as well?” I’m unable to breathe from the emotions brought on by his frozen words.

“No. Not really.”

“Not really is not an answer. Were you, or weren’t you?”

“I met a man who promised to take care of me. He took me off the streets. He gave me a home, a life. He asked me to be his wife.”

“You were married before?” Lance lets out a harsh breath. “You were married and didn’t say a thing?”

“If I told you, I would have had to tell you everything else.” I close my eyes and travel back to the past. “My husband used me. He forced me to use my beauty to get money from wealthy men.” I chew my lower lip. “Lance, I was a con artist ... Kirk and me—my ex.”

“You were what?”

“I can explain.” I need to get it out before I lose my nerve. “I’m not proud of what I did. I pretended to be in love with the men we targeted—wealthy, lonely men. I made them fall in love with me. I married them within a couple of months … or weeks after the first date. Then—”

“Then you divorced them and took their money?” Lance is breathing hard now.

I nod. “Kirk … he masterminded everything. I was young and naïve. When I wanted out, he reminded me of how I owed him for taking me off the streets.”

“Wow, that’s some story.” Lance breathes sharply. “Now tell me it’s not true. Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m ... no. No, I’m not.” Right now, I wish I could go back to the past and fix things, make better choices.

“Exactly how many times were you married?”

“Three times.” I blow out a breath and finally find the courage to look at him. “But I’m not married now, I swear.”

“Wow.” Lance’s hands grip his knees. “I was just another target to you, wasn’t I?”

“No.” I rush to the bed, but the fire in his eyes stops me in my tracks. I return to the couch. “Lance, you were not a target. I left that life behind me a long time ago. I wanted to be a different person.”

“What made you leave the past? Why did you walk away from what sounds like a rather lucrative career?”

I drop my head into my hands. “Something terrible happened. Someone died.”

The silence in the room is so thick I can feel it brush against my skin.

“You killed someone?” When I hear Lance get back to his feet, I raise my head to face him. “You’re a murderer, too?”

“It was an accident.” Tears well up in my eyes when I go back to that night. “My ... my last target … he found out the truth about me.”

“And you killed him, so he wouldn’t go to the cops?”

“I didn’t kill him.” My voice is sharp. I may be many things, but I’m not a murderer. “We were arguing. He grabbed me. When I pushed him away, he fell down the stairs and hit his head.”

“You left him for dead and ran?”

“He wasn’t dead, just unconscious.” I bring my hands together and push through the final hurdle. “I couldn’t call the cops because I was scared, so I called Kirk.”

“Your other husband.” Lance’s voice is a shattered whisper.

“Kirk, he ... he shot the man. He didn’t want him to survive then go to the cops.”

“Damn.” Lance swipes a hand across his mouth. “Who the hell did I fall in love with? I need to go. I have to get out of here.” He limps to the door, leaving his cane behind. “This is too much.”

“Baby, please stay.”

He turns around with a hand on the door handle. “You want me to stay so you and your husband can kill me, too?”

“Kirk is not ... we’re divorced. He found me again a few weeks ago. I gave him our wedding money because I wanted him to stay away from us.”

“You called out his name in your sleep.” Lance inhales, closes his eyes, then opens them again. “The point is, you wormed your way into my life under false pretenses. I need to get out of here before I lose myself.” He yanks the door open. “And the wedding is off.” The door slams behind him.

I want to chase after him, but I’m terrified of seeing the hate in his eyes. I’m shaking as I get to my feet to get my phone from the nightstand. Desperate to talk to someone, to explain myself better, I call Grace.

She’s as shocked as Lance was. After hearing my whole story, she grows silent for so long that for a second, I think she has dropped the phone.

“Please, Grace, talk to Lance. He needs to know I love him. I could never ... I would never hurt him. I took the money from the wedding account so I could make Kirk go away, to protect my life with Lance.”

“I don’t know how to help you. You wanted to cover up the lies, Jia. You wanted Lance to marry you without knowing who you really are. That’s shocking. I really don’t know what to say to you right now.” Grace pauses. “I’m sorry, Jia, but I understand how Lance feels. This is a lot to take in. You lied to all of us. I can’t even start to imagine what he’s going through.”

“I know.” I shove my pain back down my throat. “Is this it? Don’t you want anything to do with me, either?”

“As much as I don’t want to judge you, I need time to think. This is huge.”

“How about my job? Do I still have one?”

Grace is silent again, but not for long. “I try not to let my personal life influence my business. You’re a good employee. You can keep your job. See you when you get back to Boston. I’m guessing it will be sooner rather than later.”

“Thanks, Grace. I appreciate that.”

After the call, I remain on the couch for a long time, wondering how I’ll be able to survive the storm I know is coming.