His name is Bryant . . . a wonderful man . . . a kind and loving man . . . rebuilt my confidence . . .

Dammit, I open my eyes in the morning with Grace still on my mind, her words driving me crazy.

I bury my face into my pillow.

Last night, I’d gone over to Grace’s room, hoping to get closer to her. I’d changed my mind about waiting to tell her how I feel. And then through the slit in the door, I heard the words she said to her mother. Those beautiful words that now feel like lead inside my chest.

What the hell is wrong with me? One would think Grace told her mother I’m a dick.

Could it be I’m not ready for a serious relationship after all? Maybe I’ll never be ready to commit to any woman, even the right one.

I barge into the bathroom and jump under a cold shower, a distraction outside my confused heart. As the water sluices down my body, I try to push Grace from my mind, to find a moment of calm.

When I exit the bathroom, refreshed and ready to head downstairs for breakfast, Neal pops his head around the door.

Before I decided to go to Grace’s room last night, my brothers had shown up to try and convince me to join them for the last few minutes of the party. I’d refused the invitation. The only person I’d wanted to spend time with was Grace, even though I’d promised to give her space.

“Is Grace downstairs?” I ask before Neal gets a word in.

“Nope. She’s out. She left right after breakfast. Said something about going to see some friends on the ship.” He pauses. “Is something going on between you two?”

I yank a t-shirt over my head. “Nothing you have to worry about.”

Neal rests his back against the door and folds his arms across his chest. “Since when do you let a woman mess you up?”

I pull the blinds open. A stream of sunshine pours into the room. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re not fooling anyone, you know. This one got to you.” Neal pushes his hands into his pockets. “Anyway, I didn’t come up here to drill you. I came to give you a heads up.” He clears his throat. “Derrick has some chicks waiting for you downstairs, to cure your love bug. He says all you have to do is pick one for the day. No complications and no strings attached.”

“I don’t know about the chicks, man.” I stride toward the table where my breakfast tray has been delivered by the housekeeper an hour ago. I lift the lid and the smell of bacon and eggs meets my nostrils. My stomach groans. “I haven’t even eaten breakfast.”

Neal’s mouth drops open. “Tell me you didn’t just say that. Since when do you turn your back on an easy fuck?”

As I fall into my seat, I recall Lance’s words from our conversation last night.

When I watch you wasting the life I wish I had, it pisses me off.

His words left a mark I’ll never be able to erase from my soul. Denying myself the love of one woman so I can sleep around with many chicks who are only interested in my money, doesn’t seem appealing to me. Being in another woman’s arms without thinking about Grace seems impossible.

Neal crosses the room and comes to place a hand on my shoulder. “Seems like you’ve got it bad, bro. This girl has gotten under your skin. Dare I say it’s love?”

I grab my fork and stab a strip of bacon. I fill my mouth with it, an excuse not to speak. I don’t know if I have an answer for him right now. “Who knows?”

Although Neal doesn’t judge my lifestyle, he’s a true romantic at heart. He met the love of his life in high school and married her on graduation day. But he lost her and their unborn child, two years later, when she was shot during a mall shooting. He’s kept his heart closely guarded since that day, the day his world crashed. The closest he comes to love these days, is when it involves someone else’s heart.

Stars are already dancing in his eyes as he hopes I’ve found the real thing.

He lowers himself into the chair next to me, his expression serious. “Be honest with yourself. If Grace is the one, you have to seriously think about whether you’re prepared to let go of the rest.” He reaches into my plate for a strip of bacon. He chews it for a while, thinking about what to say next or to give his words time to sink into my hardened heart. “You’ve spent years pushing love away. We both know why, and I wish to God you’d quit blaming yourself for what happened to Lance. You’ve paid enough.”

Over the years, I had never told my brothers about the demons that haunt me day in, day out. In fact, the way everyone skirted the whole topic of the accident, you’d think it was taboo in the family. It seems now things have changed.

“Maybe you’re right.” I swat his hand away as he reaches for more bacon. “The debt is paid.”

Neal rises from the chair, towering over me. He’s the tallest of all of us, taking after our father. “Now get out of this room and let’s go have a drink. Only a drink, no girls. You came here so we can spend time together. Now’s the chance to catch up. You know how hard it is to get us all in the same room.”

“Damn near impossible.” I smile and stand. “I’ll be down in a minute. Pay the girls and send them on their way. I won’t be requiring their services.”

* * *

The time spent with my brothers is the best I’ve had in a while.

We turn back time and talk about our childhood, bursting with laughter as we make fun of each other’s escapades.

Inside my heart, nothing has been resolved yet. I still have a lot on my mind, a lot I need to figure out, but it doesn’t get in the way of my time with my family, especially now that I’ve made a decision to talk to Grace.

There’s no point, she can’t know about my true feelings. What she decides to do with the information is up to her.

An hour later, when Derrick and Neal leave the room to have a drink outside, and Caleb goes for a jog, Lance narrows his eyes at me.

He points to my cheek. “Are you going to tell me what happened last night or what? You looked all bashed up when you got home.”

“Grace was in trouble. I stepped in.”

Lance raises an eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. “You mean you were involved in a fight?”

“That’s right.” I burst out laughing because I know what he’s getting at.

“But you fight like a girl.” He shakes with laughter.

They keep going on about me fighting like a girl, even after the fight I had with Lance. But I don’t mind. I’m over it.

I lean back in my chair. “Point of correction. I used to fight like a girl. Past tense. Things change, you know.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re finally a man.” He still hasn’t stopped laughing and neither have I. It feels great to connect.

“Did you get to tell Grace how you feel? She looked a bit low this morning.”

“I didn’t get the chance. There were too many emotions in the way last night.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Maybe today.”

“I’m sorry I painted you in such a bad light. I’m sure that didn’t help your case. Give her time, she’ll come around.” He pauses, craning his neck to gaze at the window behind me. “Make that, she’s just coming around.”

“What?” I follow his gaze. Through the window pane we both watch Grace stepping out of a cab, wearing one of her baggy t-shirts over a pair of jeans. My gaze follows as she walks to the front door, her movements slow and measured. She doesn’t seem to want to arrive.

“Go give it a shot,” Lance says and I nod and rise.

I open the door before she rings the bell. A bolt of lightning hits the center of my chest the moment our eyes meet.

“Hi.” She gives me a small smile and enters. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” I stand there like a fool, unsure of what to do. When she peels her gaze from mine, my chest aches at the spot the lightning struck.

“I should go up to pack my things. I’ve decided to return to the ship today as planned.” Her hand touches my shoulder briefly then falls back by her side too soon. “I’ll be down in a bit.” She walks past me.

After watching her panting beneath me, screaming my name in the throes of passion, it feels wrong that she was being overly polite.

“It’s now or never,” Lance says from behind me. I turn to find his intense gaze daring me to do one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. “Be a man, go talk to her. Listen to your heart.”

“You’re right.” I run after her, driven by a surge of panic.

I have no freaking idea what I’m going to say. With each step up the stairs, I remember the memories of us together. The first time I saw her in the gym, the way I felt about her then, the excitement in her eyes, and the laughter when I showed her new places and experiences, when I expanded her world.

My feelings for her have changed from physical to emotional and there’s no going back from that. It’s time to make a decision that will change everything.