CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Thia
Bear’s lips on mine wasn’t just something amazing. It was an event. It was downright magical.
Which is why it needed to stop.
All of it needed to stop.
I pulled back, but he didn’t move, hovering over me, breathing hard. His lips glistened from our kiss, his hair fell into his face. His muscles bulged as he braced himself on the window above my head. His sapphire blue eyes mirroring the raw lust I knew he had to see in my own because it was so overwhelming I felt like I was about to bust out of my own skin. “You can’t do this again. I won’t let you. If you plan on kissing me and walking away just so you can prove some sort of point about how much of a joke I am, then stop now because I won’t be toyed with.”
Bear growled. “Is that what you think happened when I left you by the fire pit? That I was playing some fucking game?”
“Yes.”
“The only game I was playing was good guy, which I admit is extremely hard to play and I don’t fully understand all the rules.”
“Good guy? You walked away because you were playing the role of the good guy? What does that even mean?”
“It means that I walked away because you were battered and bruised and me kissing you, tasting you, was a mistake.”
“Oh.”
“Not in the way you think, Ti. It was a mistake because I was seconds away from bending you over the fire pit and ramming my cock into your tight little perfect pussy. I walked away because it was the right thing to do, which is new for me. I thought I was supposed to feel good about making the right decision but I didn’t, I regretted not taking you. I fucking ached that night.” I reached up and pushed his hair out of his face that had fallen into his eyes and he leaned into the palm of my hand. “I’m still fucking aching.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“And you don’t get to say shit you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Because let me tell you something, Ti. If I didn’t give a shit about you, I would have stayed after that kiss, after I tasted you. I would have fucked your virgin pussy until you couldn’t walk straight, see straight, fucking think straight. I would have made you see God if I thought such shit existed. But I did care. I do care. So I left you the fuck alone and walked away.”
“So what now?” I asked, overwhelmed by his confession.
“I’m done leaving you alone.” Bear tangled his hands in the back of my hair and tugged my lips down onto his. “I want you. Still fucking want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Been a dead man walking with a price on my head and I’m walking around with a fucking hard on all day thinking about being inside of you. That first night when I saw you in that bed hanging onto my ring like you were drowning and it was your life preserver, I just knew.”
“Knew what?” I asked as Bear dipped down to run his lips across mine.
“That you were mine. And looking back, even to that day when we first met. You were mine then. Not in the way my cock wants to claim you now, but in a way that made me care and I don’t care about a lot of people Ti, but that first day? I cared about you. So no, I’m not going to just kiss you and leave.” He lifted the back of his tank top over his head and tossed it to the floor. “Because I’m not stopping at kissing. I’m not stopping until you’re mine in every fucking way. I’ll try not to hurt you, but this is happening right fucking now. I’m warning you that I want you so much, my version of gentle still might be really fucking hard.” Bear’s lips again met mine and his tongue danced with my own. My heart hammered in my chest and I was so wet between my legs, my inner thighs slid against one another as I tried to find some sort of friction, which was going to be impossible given Bear’s large frame in the tiny cab of the truck.
Or so I thought.
Bear sat up and pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him, his enormous erection prodded against the very spot I needed him most. I threw my head back and moaned, not caring what I sounded like. I ground against him. “Fuck,” he growled and I did it again, loving the reaction I could coax from him.
I vaguely heard the door opening and then suddenly I was airborne. Bear’s hands were on my ass as he carried me to the bed of the truck and pulled down the tailgate. He pushed me down onto my back, the cold metal biting into my bare skin. He rocked into me, pushing his hardness against my core creating a wave of tightening in my lower belly.
“I’m not gonna promise you shit I know I can’t give you,” Bear said, his hand snaking up my shirt and splaying out over my stomach. “So you need to tell me to stop. Right now. Before it’s too damn late, and I can’t hold back. This is your last chance to get away, little girl.” Bear warned, speaking into and around my mouth as our kiss turned into a frantic possession of each other’s lips.
* * *
Bear
I was selfish. I was an asshole.
I needed to fuck her more than I needed to breathe.
I waited for her to tell me no. To tell me to go the fuck to hell. To tell me she realized that letting me inside her was a big mistake and would only bring heartache and pain.
The stupid bitch did none of those things.
“Yes,” she moaned, closing her eyes and arching her back into me, pushing her tits into my chest and my inner monster came alive, wanting more than to just fuck her. I wanted to possess her. Own her.
CLAIM her.
I leaned down close to her ear and whispered. “You stupid, stupid girl.”
“What does that make you?” she whispered back.
“Me?” I chuckled, running my hand down the side of her shirt, pushing it up and brushing the outside of her tit with my fingertips, “I’m the guy who’s about to fuck the stupid, stupid girl.”
* * *
Thia
He was right.
I was a stupid girl, because when he latched his mouth onto my nipple I damn near bucked myself right out of the truck and all rational thoughts left the building, or the truck, or the whatever. “You ever been touched like this?” Bear asked, hooking his fingers inside of my panties. I shook my head, barely able to catch my breath. “How about like this?” he asked, finding my folds and running his fingertips through my wetness and over my clit.
I was on fire. Every nerve ending in my body was firing, alive and active and every single one of them wanted Bear to make me his once and for all.
Every promise that dripped from his mouth made me feel like for the first time in weeks that I was alive, and not just the one person living in the land of the dead, but a real live person with needs and wants. It just so happened that both my needs and wants were on the same page.
Bear.
His lips assaulted my mouth then moved to my neck, he continued to rock against me, my insides clenching and unclenching, my core tightening, my senses on complete overdrive and all I could see in my tunnel vision was Bear and when he pushed a finger inside of me I let out a groan that could be heard three counties over.
“You’re so fucking tight, baby. By the fire pit when you were about to come on my tongue I felt how tight you were, but right now, with just one finger…” He pushed in further and moaned. “Your pussy is going to strangle my fucking cock.”
Bear pushed up my shirt, exposing one of my breasts to him. “Perfect tits,” he mumbled, dipping his tongue to the tip of my already stiff peak. How did I not know that nipples could do this? I felt like they had a direct line to my core and every single time Bear stroked his talented tongue over my flesh it was as if he was stroking my clit. He hooked his finger inside of me and sucked my nipple into his mouth.
Holy shit.
“Yes,” I said. “Yes, please. More.”
“You’re gonna get more alright. A lot fucking more.” Bear pushed inside me deep, dragging his finger along the front of my inner wall when he pulled out and then back up again. Faster and faster until I was shamelessly riding his hand. The in and the out was a sweet torture. He sucked on my nipple as his hand worked me until the clenching in my lower stomach turned almost painful.
He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me like he was fucking me with not just his fingers but his tongue. We were at war, a war of passion and lust, and anger and hate and every feeling I’d had towards the confusing man since I was ten years old. The pressure mounted and when he added his thumb to stroke my clit I screamed into his mouth as an explosion of pleasure went off like a bomb in my core, spreading throughout the rest of my body in waves upon waves of pure ecstasy like I never even knew existed.
I was still seeing stars when Bear picked me up and set me on his lap again so I was straddling him, my legs spread wide over his pulsing hardness making my insides quiver as if I hadn’t just had a mind and body blowing orgasm. “You coming is the single most fucking beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Bear said, pushing a stray hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ears. With one hand he lifted up my shirt and tossed it into the bed of the truck.
“I need to get these off of you right fucking now. I need you baby. I need to be inside of you,” Bear said, his voice strained and raspy, shivers danced up my spine. He pulled down on the waistband of my shorts with one hand and I lifted my hips so he could remove them and my panties in one pull.
We were face to face, skin to skin. He knew all my secrets. He knew exactly who I was and every time I’d wanted to run and hide from him he hadn’t let me. I was fully exposed to Bear inside and out and although I’d never been naked around anyone since I was a kid I felt more comfortable in that truck bed with Bear than I had fully clothed with anyone else in my entire life.
Bear’s eyes were heavily lidded with lust as he took a step back to look me over with appreciation and pure animalistic need. He undid the buckle and the button on his jeans. With one hand on my throat he again pushed me until my back was against the cool metal of the truck bed, his hand dragging down my chest between my breasts, his thumb again finding my clit and a primal moan escaped my mouth sounding nothing like my normal voice. I could smell the rust from the motorcycle parts just above my head, the ridges from the truck bed captured my shoulder blades making it hard for me to move my arms.
It wasn’t romantic.
It wasn’t flowery.
But it also wasn’t lies.
It was just us.
Bear grabbed my feet and as he climbed on top of me he ran his hands up the inside of my legs, spreading them to make room for him between my thighs. And that’s when I saw him. All of him. His thick and heavy cock bounced slightly with his movements, the tip glistening with moisture. His finger had felt huge and filling inside of me, there was no way he was going to fit but I trusted him and I didn’t care. He could rip me in two and I still didn’t care because it wasn’t what he could do to my body that I was worried about.
It was what he could do to my heart.
He stopped mid climb and bracing himself with his hands on the underside of my knees he dipped his head down and ran his tongue along my folds, stiffening his tongue and pushing it far inside of me as he could. He pulled back and licked his lips. “Never tasted anything better than you,” he said and with his hands on the very inside of my thighs, his fingers kneading into my sensitive flesh he spread my legs as far as they could go.
He kissed me. Hard and eager just like his erection which he slid up and down my wetness until I was writhing underneath him, the need that had been sated minutes earlier was now back and a hundred times more powerful than before. He reached between us and grabbed the base of his shaft, lining it up with my entrance. His skin was soft and hot and the contact was almost too much. The anticipation of him inside of me had me raking my nails along his back. He groaned and growled and swore in my ear before surging forward, stretching my opening to the point of pain, filling me with him.
“Holy fuck, Ti. Wider, open up for me,” he said like he too was in some sort of pain. He pushed my knees apart until I was as open as I could possibly be and Bear didn’t waste any time pushing forward in one hard thrust.
He really was ripping me open. It hurt. It really fucking hurt.
I really didn’t fucking care.
I couldn’t be any more full. Body and heart. Both happy. Both at peace.
Both in pain.
“Fuck. I knew it would be fucking amazing, baby. But Jesus Christ, your virgin pussy really is strangling me,” Bear groaned, the cords of his neck tense and tight as he pushed until he was as far inside of me as our bodies would allow. “Never doubt that this has always belonged to me. YOU have always belonged to me,” he said, staring into my eyes which were watering from the pain and something else that was bubbling up from deep inside of me. Fear. Relief.
Love?
I couldn’t think on that one long because Bear started to move, pulling out of me and pushing back in, burying himself to the hilt all over again. The feeling of physical pain was still there, but morphed into a kind of pleasurable pain. Each time he thrust into me he went all the way in, making me gasp. When he pulled out he dragged his cock along every sensitive bundle of nerves inside of me, making me moan. Harder and harder, faster and faster he thrust in and pulled out until my vision blurred and my insides clenched around him in rhythm with his movements. I was lost in the white hot pleasure. I was lost in the moment.
I was lost in Bear.
I knew right then and there that there would be no coming back from it.
“I feel you tightening around me, Ti. I know you’re close. Been thinking about making you coming around my cock since that first night back in the apartment.” He thrust inside me, hard. Reaching between us he used the pad of his thumb to rub light but furious circles around my clit. I was almost there. Almost over the edge. “You are so fucking beautiful,” Bear said, coming down over me and pressing his lips to mine.
That’s when I lost it.
That’s when I came.
His thumb.
His cock.
His lips.
Him.
I came until I thought my insides were going to flip onto the outside. I came until it hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out. I came and came and the waves of pleasure only increased with each pulse of my release. He kissed me and fucked me and claimed me until there was only one truth between us which Bear pointed out when he said, “Never doubt that this pussy has always belonged to me. YOU have always belonged to me.”
He kissed me again then ordered. “Wrap your arms around me.” I did what he said and wrapped my arms around his neck. He put his hands on the back of my thighs, lifting me slightly off the bed of the truck, angling me so he could thrust even deeper. Faster and faster he pushed in and out until we were a clattering of lips and teeth and until he tipped his head back and opened his mouth releasing a guttural roar that made me think I was going to come all over again. With one final crazed thrust, he held himself still deep inside of me, pulsing long and hard, filling me with warmth and satisfaction, love and confusion.
Filling me with him.
“Ti,” Bear groaned, breathing hard.
He had done what he’d set out to do.
He’d claimed me.
Body and soul.
Out there in the bed of that rusted truck on the side of the road, with only the smell of the rotting oranges and the warm breeze as our witnesses, in that moment there was no more hiding, no more denying the truth.
Bear was right.
I’d always been his.
* * *
Bear
Mine.
* * *
Thia
We were naked, panting and in a mound of tangled limbs. My arms rested on some sort of part Bear had bought for the motorcycle. He was face forward between my breasts.
Still inside me.
He lifted his face and looked up at me. He held up his ring, which had fallen off to the side. “I still can’t believe you kept it all these years.”
“Never took it off,” I said. Then I wished I hadn’t said it, realizing how pathetic it made me sound. “I mean…”
“You never took it off?” Bear asked, his eyes so bright blue they rivaled the color of the cloudless sky.
“No,” I answered honestly. “Told my parents that I found it, not like they really cared where I got it, they had enough other stuff to worry about. Buck is the only person who knew the truth behind it. I think that’s why he was all pissed off back there. Mad I ran to you instead of him for help.”
“And tell me something. Be honest,” Bear said. A lump was forming in my throat as he played with the ring, turning it over and over in his hand. “You really shot a guy?” he said with a laugh.
“Yeah, it was stupid but he was from Sunnlandio. He tried to buy the grove and since they had canceled the contracts it was worthless.”
“It was a fucking set up.”
“Basically. Guess I should have thought first, shot later, but I was so mad.”
“So you can shoot?” Bear asked, kissing his way around my belly button, his facial hair ticking my skin.
“Yeah. My dad taught me. Won a few competitions when I was younger. Farmer’s Daughters of America.”
“Sounds like a redneck dating site.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” I asked with a laugh.
“It’s so fucking hot that you can shoot,” Bear said, sliding out of me and down my body. My core tightened like it didn’t want to let him go. “So fucking hot,” Bear said again, this time over my clit.
His jeans buzzed and with a groan he reached over me and into the pocket. He pulled out a phone and looked at the screen. He frowned. “We gotta go.” The playfulness from a moment earlier was gone. His hard jaw set in a straight line once again. He tossed me my clothes. “Get dressed,” he ordered. “Now.”
“What’s going on? Who was on your phone?” I asked, pulling on my shirt and scooting to the end of the truck bed to shimmy on my shorts.
“More Bastards are on their way.”
“They text you that?” I asked, confused. Bear pulled on his jeans and hopped down from the truck. He lifted me off the tailgate and pushed it shut.
“No, they told Cash that,” he said, tossing me the phone he took from Cash’s body to keep tabs on the MC. I looked down at the screen.
BE THERE SOON.
We took off for Logan’s Beach in my father’s truck without going back for Bear’s bike, which he’d hidden in the back shed under an old tarp. Bear didn’t say a word. He smoked a cigarette and kept checking the rearview mirrors. He’d called King to tell him we were on the way and he was waiting for us outside the garage by the time we got back. “I’ll be back, go into the apartment and for fucks sake, listen to me and stay there,” Bear ordered, but when I looked into his eyes I saw more than an order. I saw a plea.
“Fine,” I said, a little sharper than I wanted. I went into the apartment and King and Bear left the garage, closing the door behind him.
Ray brought me some food but quickly left because the kids were up at the house all alone. I flipped channels on the old TV and scanned the pages of an old Guns and Ammo magazine from 2007.
I showered and put on one of Bear’s t-shirts, tucking myself in bed. There was no way I was going to sleep without knowing where he was. I wanted to leave, to find out where he was, but I also wanted to keep my promise.
So I stayed.
It was well after midnight when I heard the door to the bedroom creak open and shut. I couldn’t see him in the pitch blackness and I didn’t know what to say. What to ask. The mattress dipped when Bear sat on the edge of the bed. I heard him kick off his boots then the clanking of his belt buckle as he removed his jeans. A cool breeze licked my back as he lifted up the blankets but was quickly replaced by Bear’s heat as he came up behind me, surprising me when he reached out and grabbed my waist, dragging me up against his chest. He was naked. His erection twitching the second it came into contact with my bare ass. He rested his chin on the top of my head, his hand splayed out under my shirt on the skin of my lower stomach.
“Where did you go?” I whispered.
“Trying to sort shit out. Things have kind of changed. Plans needed to change,” Bear said, hearing him acknowledge what had happened between us earlier made me able to relax into his hold.
“Do you have a new plan?”
“Not yet,” Bear said with a sigh.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“This. This helps,” he said into the back of my neck and I arched backward into his now hard erection. “You okay?” he asked, snaking his hand down between my legs. “Here, I mean. I got a little crazy before and forgot to ask you.”
“I’m fine,” I said. And I was. I was a little sore, but nothing that could outweigh the magnitude of what had happened between us.
“Good, ’cause I need inside you, Ti.” Bear ran his tongue down the back of my neck and my lips parted when he sucked the tip of my earlobe into his mouth. He pushed one long finger inside of me. “Fuck, your pussy is so fucking wet for me already,” Bear said, stroking my clit.
I moaned. “Gonna make this fast and hard,” he murmured against my skin. He lifted up my leg and pushed inside of me, stretching and filling me in two hard long thrusts. He started pumping into me before my body was ready for him and the bite of pain made each stroke torturously erotic.
“Never felt nothing like this, Ti. Wanna fuck you and smack the living shit out of you all at the same time. Don’t know what this is, but it makes me want to keep you filled with my cock all day long and dripping with my cum. I want to mark you. I want to fucking own you.” He grunted as his thrusts became harder, more frantic, more erratic.
Just more.
“What the fuck are you doing to me?” he asked on a ragged exhale.
Sparks played behind my eyes and Bear must have sensed I was close because he reached over and circled my clit with two fingers until I came undone around him. “Fuck, so fucking good,” he groaned, finding his release inside of me, pulling me so close into him that I thought he was going to crack one of my ribs.
I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.