CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
As she stood at the stove, stirring sauce and checking the cookbook on the counter, Adrienne felt Badger come up behind her. His hands moved over her hips and linked on her belly. “Hey, babe. Whatcha makin’?”
She leaned back against him, sighing when he tucked his face against her neck.
“Béchamel sauce. For pasta.”
“You feeling good enough?”
Since she and Badger had moved into this house, she’d been trying to teach herself to cook. Lately, though, she’d sort of abandoned the enterprise, when lots of food smells had made her stomach roll unpleasantly, sometimes violently.
“Yeah. Not sick at all today. And it’s Valentine’s. I thought I’d make a nice dinner.”
“It smells great.”
Setting the spoon aside, she turned in his embrace. As she did so, he stepped back, pulling her away from the stove.
She leaned into his chest. “How was your day?” Since Isaac and Len had gone away, there had been a kind of pall over the Horde. Show and Badger, the club leaders now, felt it most strongly. Badger’s nightmares had started again—not with the intensity or frequency they’d had in the past, but enough to drive him from bed a few times a week. Show had gotten quieter, more somber—and he’d never exactly been an excitable guy.
Everything seemed to be calm in town, though. The Horde was back to working their ‘regular’ jobs full time. Show was managing the feed store, in preliminary talks with the owner to buy it outright. Badger was managing the animals at the B&B. There wasn’t much more to do, here in the winter, with the inn still being rebuilt, but he went over every day, took care of the animals, hung out with Weasel, did some paperwork. He’d been spending every afternoon with Nolan, in Cory’s garage, working on the bike that Havoc had given Nolan for his birthday a few months before he’d died.
Badger kissed her cheek and rubbed his hand over her belly before he let her go. He liked to rub her belly, even though it was still the same as it ever was. She wondered when that would change; she was ten weeks along, according to the doctor Tasha had referred her to.
“My day was okay. Nolan’s bike’s about finished. Finally found the right tank. We’re gonna strip and paint it next. Did you see Lilli today?”
“Yeah. Shannon and I went with her to talk to the interior design person.” Even though she would only be the assistant manager when the B&B reopened, Lilli and Shannon wanted her to join them for planning meetings. She liked it—especially these interior design meetings. They took her opinions and ideas seriously.
The primary build on the B&B was almost finished. The original main house for the Keller Acres B&B had been a modular construction, but Lilli had decided to do a traditional build for its replacement. The business had increased significantly in value over the years, and the insurance payout had been sizable enough to handle the more expensive build, but it was definitely a slower process than it would have been had she bought another factory-made building. It had been further slowed by the cold winter weather, but they were looking at being able to re-open in April.
“She okay?”
Adrienne shrugged. “She’s…Lilli. All business. She doesn’t want to talk about personal stuff.” After Isaac had left, Lilli had spent three days closed up in her house with her kids, telling everybody who tried to check on her to ‘fuck off.’ When she’d emerged, she’d thrown herself into her work—rebuilding the B&B, running the town library, sitting on the town council. But she was not socializing at all.
She had not yet, as far as Adrienne knew, been back to the clubhouse.
Tasha seemed to be dealing with the loss of Len in the opposite way. She’d thrown herself into her work, too, but she never wanted to be alone. She and Cory had been spending a lot of their free time together, but Tasha sought out the company of all the Horde family, and she’d been going regularly into Springfield to visit her friends there. She was on the move constantly, hardly ever at home. Shannon had told her that she’d even spent the night on their sofa a few times after she’d been to their house for dinner.
Adrienne didn’t know whom to worry about more.
Badger was still thinking about Lilli. “She’s tough. She’ll be okay. She needs some time. They both do.” Badger squatted, and Hector—who never strayed far from the kitchen when food was happening—walked into his arms for a rough hug. “Hey, boy. Taking care of mama today?”
He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. “I’ve been thinking. We should buy a house. This place is too small for when the kid comes. And what if you have twins—they run in families, right?”
The thought scared the bejeezus out of Adrienne. “Don’t even joke. I love Millie and Joey, but watching Shannon and Show juggle two of everything is freaking exhausting. One baby at a time is just enough.”
He took a long swallow from his bottle and leaned against the counter near where she was working. The pasta was ready, and as Adrienne started to heft the pot of boiling water to the sink, he set his beer down. “Hey, I got that.” With a gentle push, he set her out of the way and poured the pasta and water into the colander she’d set in the sink. “I’m just saying that we need a bigger place. The extra room here is barely a closet.”
As she took over and returned the pasta to its pot, then poured the sauce over it, she said, “I have the rest of the money from my mom. We could use that as a down payment.”
“We don’t need to. I’ve got money saved up. You should keep your mom’s money.”
Adrienne wasn’t sure why, but that pissed her off a little. “No. I want to help. I’ve been saving that money for something big, and buying a house is a big thing. You’ve been supporting me for months. I don’t want you to buy a house for me, Badge. I want us to buy a house together.” Oh. That was why she was pissed.
But Badger wasn’t angry at all. He grinned. “Okay, okay. Between us, we probably have way more than we’d need for a down payment around here. Maybe we can buy something outright.” His grin faded. “I’d like that. Not having a bank hanging over us, threatening to take our home out from under us if we’re ever in trouble.” He got up and went to the cupboards, collecting plates and utensils to set the table. “You want juice?”
“Yes. Cranberry, please.”
He poured her a glass. When she turned with the pasta, now in a serving bowl, there was a little, light blue pouch on the table at her place.
“What’s that?”
“It’s Valentine’s Day. You made me supper. I got you something.”
“That’s a Tiffany’s bag.”
“Yeah.”
“How did you get a Tiffany’s bag?”
“Well, I went to Tiffany’s.”
“Where is there a Tiffany’s around here?”
“St. Louis. Last week, when we did that run for Tasha’s clinic?”
“You went to a Tiffany’s store?”
“Yeah. That’s where they keep their jewelry.” Smiling, he picked up the bag and brought it to her, where she was still standing, holding the bowl of pasta in béchamel sauce. “Babe, are you gonna see what’s in here, or are we playing Twenty Questions?”
Living in Signal Bend, married to a member of the Horde, surrounded by leather and metal, wild men and the women who could tame them, Adrienne had sort of forgotten that things like surprise gifts from swanky jewelers could ever happen. Even though their wedding had been elegant, by town standards, their reception had been at the rowdy saloon, where the bar and all the tables were all slightly, permanently damp feeling, from eons of spilled beer. Actually, when she thought about it more, it made perfect sense that her man would be standing there with his long hair and full beard, his flannel shirt and worn jeans, holding a Tiffany’s jewelry bag in his calloused hands. Her life was a riot of unexpected juxtapositions. There was grime around the beds of his fingernails.
“You need to wash your hands before we eat.”
“Take the bag, and I will.”
She set the bowl of pasta in the middle of the table and took the bag from him. He went immediately to the sink and washed his hands. Pulling open the satiny rope of the drawstrings, she turned the pouch over into the palm of her hand.
A silver necklace with the infinity symbol at the center. Simple and classic. “Oh, Badge. It’s beautiful.”
He came back to her and took the necklace out of her hands. Knowing what he intended, she pulled her fluffy ponytail over one shoulder, and he fastened the dainty chain around her neck. Then he pressed his lips to her nape. She loved the touch of his beard on her. So very much.
“I’m never leaving you, Adrienne. We are us forever.”
~oOo~
Adrienne knocked on Show’s office door. “Come,” he called, and she turned the knob and peeked in.
“Hi. Do you have a minute?”
She’d never been in this room when it had been Isaac’s office, so it wasn’t hard for her to think of it as Show’s. Badger, on the other hand, had described a keen sense of dislocation, even though nothing had apparently changed in the room since Isaac had gone away. With a wide smile, Show pushed away from the desk and stood.
“Hey, little one.” In one long stride, he was at her side, bending down to kiss her cheek. “I’m glad to see you. Surprised, though. I thought you’d be with Shannon and Lilli, talking to the contractor again. There something wrong?”
“We’re done with that. Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
He cocked his head. “Of course. Come sit.” Taking her hand in his, he led her to the sofa against the far wall and sat down with her. “You sure there’s nothing wrong?” He looked at her belly. “You feelin’ alright?”
If Show and Badger could take turns carrying her around on a satin pillow for the next seven months, Adrienne was sure that they would. She’d seen Show’s tender care of Shannon while she was pregnant, but it had still been something of a surprise—and not always a great thing—when he’d turned the same concerned eyes and hands on her. Everywhere she turned, somebody was fussing over her. Most of the time, though, she liked it, inconvenient as it was. And always she felt loved.
“I’m good. The past couple of days, I’ve felt pretty normal.”
“Good. Good.” He lifted her new necklace from her throat. “Pretty. Suits you.”
“Did you know he bought it?”
“Yep. I went with him. That’s where I bought Shannon’s rings. Got her a bracelet this time.”
“I can’t even imagine what they thought when the two of you came into the store.”
“We gave ‘em a shock, I’m sure. But Badge and I married fancy women and dropped ‘em into a shit life. You deserve some fancy every now and then.”
“I’m not fancy.”
Show chuckled. “Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea.”
A little offended, she made a face. He brushed his fingers over her brow and nose with a smile. “Easy, now. I meant it as a compliment. You and your m—Shannon—you class up the joint. She classes the fuck out of me.” He winked, and she rolled her eyes. “What d’you want to talk about?”
“Badge. I’m a little worried.”
Show’s face darkened with concern almost instantly. “What’s up? He’s not back on—”
“No. No. I’m sure he’s not. That’s not what I mean. But he’s different. Distracted a lot.”
“Well, you’re making him a father. That shuffles a man’s thinking. Trust me.”
“It’s more than that. Usually I can get him to talk, but he won’t.” She looked into Show’s light blue eyes. “You’re different, too.”
His expression shifted to a sort of tired understanding. “Ah. Did Shannon ask you to say something?”
They’d talked about it, how Show and Badger both seemed weighed down since the new year, but no, Shannon hadn’t asked her to say anything. She shook her head.
He lifted her hand and brought it to his lips. “You are a sweet little thing. I’m alright. If you’re worried about Badge for the same reason, then he’ll be alright, too. Things are different. It’s taking some time to get right with that. Isaac left a big hole. Len, too.”
“Can they have visitors?”
“Yeah. Eventually. There’s paperwork, and the Feds aren’t in any rush, I guess, to process it. But in a couple of weeks, I hope, I’ll ride Lilli, Tasha, and the kids up there for the weekend. That’ll help some. Seeing they’re doin’ okay.”
Adrienne nodded and sat back, thinking again about what Lilli and Tasha were giving up. It made her feel a crushing loneliness. At the meeting today, Lilli had seemed fairly normal, focused on the swatches and sketches of the designer’s proposal. But afterward, when Shannon had suggested they go to lunch to debrief, she’d refused—just said, “No. See you,” and gotten into her truck.
After a minute or two of silence, Show’s eyes on her the whole time, he asked, “What’s really got you sideways, little one? You know Badge is gonna be okay. Me, too. What’s goin’ on?”
She shrugged. “I don’t like people going away.” Suddenly, her head was full of tears. She looked down and blinked until the threat that they would spill out had passed.
“If you miss him, you should call him.”
She looked up. “What?”
“Your dad. You could call him. It’s been months. He’s had time to feel what he’s lost by now. He lost a lot. So did you.”
Until Show had brought her ex-father up, Adrienne had had no inkling he was in her thoughts at all, but once the idea was out, she knew it was true. Charles Renard had been standing in the corner of her mind, leaving a shadow of loss and discontent. But Show was wrong. “No. I don’t want him back. I’ll never want him back.” She would never forgive him for erasing her from his life and driving away in an empty U-Haul. There was no coming back from that. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t forget him; she would never forgive him.
“But you miss him?”
She shook her head. “I miss my mom. I miss the way things were before she got sick. But maybe that’s not even true. If she hadn’t died, I wouldn’t know you or Shannon or anybody here. I wouldn’t have Badge. I don’t think I’d give Signal Bend up even if it meant I could have my mom back.” The horror of that thought brought her tears up and over, and she put her hand to her mouth to hold back the sobs.
Show pulled her into a sheltering embrace, and she cried against his dense chest, tucked into the leather of his kutte. “Shhh, little one. I understand. Doesn’t mean you love her less. No matter how bad things get, it’s good we can’t go backwards. We deal with what life throws at us and find strength in what we live through. We make what comes next the best we can. If there’s no place for your father in your future, then that’s the way it is.”
Sniffling, she sat back and looked up into Show’s kind, handsome face. “I have my father in my future. I have you.”
He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Well, you know I’m glad to have the job. I sure love you. Lookin’ forward to spoiling that grandbaby you’re makin’ me, too.”
“You were wrong about me and Badge, you know. About him being wrong for me.”
“Wondered if you were ever gonna get around to tryin’ to make me eat that. But no, I don’t think I was. I think you were right for Badge, and that made him right for you. He’s a strong guy, been through more than most. But he needed a special person to show him his balance. That was you. Sometimes I look in your eyes and think I see something in you that’s older than time. You are something special. You look for the good in people. You bring it out of them. Badge is a lucky son of a bitch.”
With a bittersweet sigh, Adrienne leaned into his hold again, resting on his chest, letting the deep, steady thump of his strong heart settle her body and mind.