Liam and I have been doing this thing we’re doing for several months now. The summer comes and go. Fall blew by. It’s now winter and thick blankets of snow cover the ground. As I’m sitting in my apartment with a glass of wine, I look out the window at the brightly lit town square that’s covered in strands of white lights. Puffy flakes of white snow begin to fall and cling to my windowsill, and a shiver runs through me. I pull the throw blanket tighter around my shoulders and take a sip of my wine.

I hear the door open and seconds later, Liam walks in. “It’s getting cold out there.” He dusts the snow from his coat and hangs it from the hook on the wall before closing the distance between us.

I set my wine glass down on the table and stand, pulling him in for a hug. I place my hands on either side of his face. “Wow, you’re freezing. What’s the matter, that fancy sports car no good in the snow?” I laugh, and he mockingly joins in.

“No.” He rolls his eyes. “I think I’m going to have to get something with four-wheel drive. Want to go truck shopping with me?”

“When?”

“Tomorrow. No way can I keep driving that thing. I hit a patch of black ice and spun out on my way here.” He looks out of the window. “It’s not bad here in the town, but the country roads between town and the ranch are crazy. I don’t want you driving on them.” He brings his eyes back to mine.

I smile and roll my eyes. “I’ve lived here my entire life. I know how to drive in the snow. I didn’t have the luxury of growing up in Southern California during the cold months.” I press a kiss to his lips. “But, yes, I will go with you first thing in the morning.”

“Thank you. I have a feeling you know more about four-wheel drive than I do,” he laughs out.

I nod. “I probably do.” I pull away and pick up my wine glass, heading toward the kitchen. “Did you pick up dinner?” The answer is sitting on the kitchen table right in front of me.

“I got all your favorites.” He smiles as he starts emptying the bags. “There’s Orange Chicken, Chicken Teriyaki, General Tso’s Chicken, and Sesame Chicken, plus all the sides.”

“Yum!” I refill my wine glass and pour one for him.

“With all the chicken you eat, I don’t know how you haven’t turned into one,” he jokes.

I grab the plates from the cabinet and place them on the table. “There’s nothing wrong with eating chicken. It’s better than all that red meat you eat.”

He smiles as he dumps out the whole container of steak and broccoli onto his plate.

After dinner, we snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie. I end up falling asleep before the end, but when I wake up, I’m in bed next to Liam with the morning sun shining through the window.

He rolls over to face me. “How’d you sleep?”

I stretch. “Like a baby. I didn’t even wake up when you carried me to bed.”

“You must have been worn out. Going back and forth between your clinic and the ranch must be wearing you out. You know, if you take the vet position full-time, you could just move into the house. It would cut out a lot of this traveling you’ve been doing.” He wags his brows at me as a big smile pulls across his face.

Hearing him talk about me moving into his house at the ranch causes my heart to pound uncontrollably. I open my mouth, but no words come out. These last few months, I’ve been doing exactly what I said I would. I’ve been present in the relationship, but I’ve also kept my distance, waiting for the day he was done with me.

“It’s not something you have to decide on right now, Ves. Just something to think about.” He stands from the bed and walks over to the bathroom where I hear the shower start up.

My mind is an endless loop of what should I do? I love my job at the clinic and only said I’d take this full-time spot at the ranch to help him out. But I feel like if I do take that step, move in and work there, I will only be getting further away from my dream. It would be all too easy to work at the ranch and wake up one day to realize that I’m out of time and I never got to do what I wanted to do.

I think its time to look more into those applications, see if I can find him a full-time vet. I can keep working toward my dreams and we could continue the relationship like we have been.

With a plan in place, I can finally breathe easy.

Liam and I spend the day truck shopping. He ends up buying a black Ford F-250. It’s big enough to use on the ranch, and it has four-wheel drive for the winter months. In the spring, he can go back to driving his little sports car around while the ranch has a brand-new truck to use.

I drive the truck back to the ranch and he follows me behind in his sports car. Every time I look at the mirror behind me, he’s slipping and sliding all over the road. Several times, I had to brace myself when I stopped at a stop sign, thinking he was going to slam into me. Luckily, he never did.

We walk into the house and remove our coats. While he begins preparing dinner, I slip into a pair of his flannel pj bottoms and one of his t-shirts, then pour us both a glass of wine.

“How did the truck drive?” he asks, tossing some onions into a pan to sauté.

“Great. It’s a smooth ride. I think once you get used to driving that big truck, you’ll hate that little sports car.”

He laughs. “I doubt that.”

“After riding in SUV’s and trucks for so long, every time I get in that little car of yours, I feel like I’m going to bump my ass off the road.” I laugh, and he joins in.

We have idle chit-chat while he finishes up dinner and I load the dishwasher. When we sit down, I feel like I need to tell him I’ve thought about what he said this morning but there is a growing knot forming in my stomach.

“Liam,” I breathe out his name.

He looks up from his plate and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“I’ve thought about what you said this morning, about moving in and taking the position.”

He nods once. “And?” His blue eyes look so hopeful, and I hate knowing that I’m going to be the reason that changes.

“I think I’m going to keep my spot at the clinic.” A weight has been lifted from my chest, but he diverts his eyes back to his plate.

“It’s just that, I have dreams of my own, you know? I want to bring in more business, so I have the money to expand. It’s always been my dream. And if I take you up on your offer, I know I’ll be so busy and comfortable here, that it won’t ever happen.”

“I understand, Ves.” He picks up his fork and continues eating.

“I will go back to looking at the applications on Monday, if you’d like. I know I forwarded you some before. Did you not like any of those?” I pick up my wine glass and take a sip while watching him.

“Honestly, I didn’t even look at them.”

“What?” My brow furrows. “Why?”

He drops his fork and it clatters to his plate. “Because I don’t want anyone else. I want you!” He has worry lines forming on his forehead, and his eyes nearly burn with passion. He’s not used to not getting something he wants.

“I understand that, Liam. But I’m not something you can buy. I declined the offer. You need a vet,” I point out.

“You’re not something I can buy!? What the hell does that mean, Ves? Have I ever given you the reason to believe that I’m trying to buy you?”

“No,” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “That’s not what I meant.” I let out a long breath. “I just meant that I know you’re used to getting what you want. And I’m sorry, but I can’t give you what you want. I have to make this decision for myself. Why is that hard for you to understand?” I stand up, picking up my plate, and carrying it to the sink. I’m too amped up to eat, not to mention, I need to put some distance between us.

“It’s not hard to understand. I just don’t like it.” He stands and throws his arms in the air.

“Look at the applications, Liam. Set up the interview. Then we can go back to living the way we have been these last few months. Instead of coming here to check on Lucy, I can just come here for you.” I feel like I’m pleading with him.

He looks at his feet, and breathes out a soft, “Okay, Ves.” He looks back up at me, but his eyes don’t hold the same emotion as they did before. Now he looks defeated. “If that’s what you want.”

“Really?”

He presses his lips together tightly. “Really.”

I feel my smile stretch across my face as I move in to hug him. “This means a lot, Liam. I love what we’re doing. But I love my job too, and I have to be true to myself and give my dream a shot. If I give up now, I’ll always wonder what if.”

He hugs me close. “I know,” he whispers in my ear.

In the morning, I leave Liam asleep in bed and go downstairs to make a pot of coffee. While it brews, I head out to the barn to check on Lucy. I stand at the bottom rung of the fence and pet her nose. “Good morning, Lucy. How are you and that baby today?”

I hear the crunch of gravel and turn to see Tyler standing at the open door of the barn. He walks in and closes the door behind him.

“You really should leave this closed, so the heat doesn’t get out.”

“Sorry,” I say, turning back to Lucy. “I just wanted to check on Luce really quick.”

“You’re here awfully early to have such a long drive.” He grabs a saddle and tosses it onto a hay bale.

“Yeah, I just got an early start.”

He nods his head like he accepts my answer, but then walks closer. “You’ve been here a lot lately. I see your car here at all hours of the morning and night, but don’t ever find you in the barn.”

I know what he’s getting at. He’s going to ask about me and Liam. But I’m still confused about us. This whole time, I thought we were just hanging out and having sex, but lately, Liam seems as if he wants more. I am not even sure what we are at this moment. I don’t have an answer for him. And not only that, but it’s none of his business.

I step down and start toward the door.

“You know, I’ve noticed a difference with you two. Are you dating now? I haven’t seen that super model girlfriend of his around lately.”

I reach the door and turn to face him. “Tyler, what I do is none of your business.” I open the door and step through, closing it behind me.

When I walk back into the house, Liam is standing in the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee. “Hey, where were you?” he asks, leaning in and pressing a kiss to my lips.

“I went out to check on Lucy.” I step around him and pour a cup for myself. “I ran into Tyler. He’s asking questions about us.” I take my coffee and sit at the table.

“And what did you tell him?”

“That it is none of his business,” I answer.

He presses his lips together in a tight line. “Mmm…” He takes a sip of his coffee. His response confuses me. Did he want me to tell Tyler that we’re sleeping together? Is it his way of bragging or something? Surely, he didn’t want me to tell him we’re in a relationship. We haven’t even had that conversation yet.

I open my mouth to ask, but my cell rings. I pull it from my pocket. “Hello?”

“Ves, you need to get to the clinic now. We’ve had an emergency call in. Mr. Arnold’s dog got hit by a truck. He’s needing him to put down.”

My heart cracks and breaks. This is the worst part of the job. “Well, how bad is it? Can he be saved?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. I’m on my way now. But from his description, it sounds pretty bad.”

“I’m on my way.” I hang up the phone and stand, spinning in circles as I look for my coat, purse, and keys. “I have to go. There’s an emergency down at the clinic.”

Liam stands. “Is there anything I can do?”

I shake my head, finally spying my purse on the counter. I rush over to it. “No. I’ll talk to you later.” I grab my purse and dig through it for my keys.

“Ves,” he says, following me to the front door.

I open it and pause in the doorway. “Yeah?”

“I’ll let you pick the vet for the ranch. Just let me know when the interview is.”

“Okay.” I nod, leaning in for a kiss.

I pull away and rush out the door.

“Ves!” he calls after me.

I look over my shoulder.

“Never mind. I’ll talk to you later.” His hand sails through the air as if he’s pushing away his thoughts. He retreats back into the house, closing the door between us.

I want to ask him what’s going on. Why he’s acting so strangely, but I don’t have time. I make a mental note to call him later and figure out whatever is bothering him.