Chapter Twenty-Two

Harper

I’ve never been happier in my entire life. That’s a bold statement. One I’d repeat a million times if it means I get to feel like this every day for the rest of my life. My dad is walking me down the aisle, just sand marked by white flowers on either side, to the man of my dreams.

Ben is standing barefoot by the water wearing a white shirt, untucked, and a pair of khaki pants. We’re getting married in the exact spot he proposed. There are about ten chairs on either side of the aisle, all filled with our closest friends and family who could make it on such short notice. We didn’t send out invites or make a registry, or do anything stereotypical brides and grooms do. That’s for everyone else. They can keep the customs and pomp. We just want each other. My dress, a white lacy, curve hugging number, flares at the bottom in a mermaid cut. Ben came with me when I tried on dresses and said if we’re doing it on the beach, I should get my Ariel fantasy.

“I love you both, so much, baby. You don’t know how happy this is making your mother and me,” Dad says, squeezing my arm. “After all this time. You’re finally doing it.” It’s a statement as much as it is a question.

I squeeze his hand resting on my arm. “Thanks, Dad. Took a little longer than it should have,” I whisper, laying my head against his shoulder. The pride that oozes from his body is enough for a million daughters instead of just one. He’s always been proud of my scholarly and work accomplishments, but somehow validating my lifelong love for Ben is enough to wash all of those away. It’s because I’m finally being honest with myself, finally taking the chance I never took. “I love you,” I tell him.

He sniffles next to me, and I have to focus on Ben to keep from tearing up and ruining my makeup prematurely.

My hair is down, because I know that’s how Ben likes it. I took a photo of Lyla Garrity, C/O Minka Kelly with me to the makeup artist. She did an amazing job replicating the look, and it’s a small tilt to a weird way this was all brought to a close. The sun is setting just enough so that the heat isn’t severe and the clouds are that beautiful color they become just before night hides them away.

Ben’s smile is this huge, beautiful work of art. It reminds me of when we were kids and we had the inability to stop laughing at some stupid joke. We’d look at each other and start cracking up all over again. This is a smile he won’t be able to wipe away. My dad hands my hand to Ben and they share a quick man hug before he takes his seat next to my weeping mother. She has a tissue in each hand and a smile that matches Ben’s.

Ben hugs me straight away, ignoring all normal wedding rules. “Harper, you are stunning. The most beautiful girl in all the world.”

“Thank you,” I reply. “You look pretty handsome yourself.” I squeeze his biceps and he laughs. His eyes are so happy, so jubilant, that I’m truly transported back to when we were innocent, happy children. Smiles for miles and not a care in the world. And isn’t that how you want a marriage to start? I lean up on my tiptoes and Ben’s on the same wavelength. He kisses me on the lips once, very chastely, and then on the bridge of my nose.

“Get a room,” Tahoe calls out, causing everyone to giggle.

Ben glares at Tahoe and turns the megawatt smile out to everyone else. “I’ve waited too long for this! I’ll kiss her when I want!”

More laughter followed by clapping. My mom sniffles some more.

The pastor starts in on the simple ceremony. We listen, but we don’t take our eyes off each other, like maybe the words he’s saying will telepathically melt into our systems. Ben touches my face, my neck, my shoulders instead of merely holding my hand. He’s checking to make sure it’s real. I’m real.

“Harper and Ben have written their own vows to each other and they would like to share them with you today. Ben,” the pastor says, clipping a small microphone on the edge of my capped sleeve and one to the open collar of Ben’s shirt. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Ben bites his lip in a grin. “I love you, Harper Jean, sneeze queen. Every moment and mistake in our lives have led to this right here. It could have happened earlier,” he says, looking at the audience when they laugh. “But it wouldn’t have meant as much as it does right now. Standing here after trials and tribulations that would make Gandhi question our sanity means that despite everything else in our past, we choose each other. You are the part of my life that has been constant because of how much I love you. I’ve never been scared of the depth of my feelings for you because I fell for you gradually. A little bit at a time during each phase of our lives. Now I’m at a level so deep I’ll never make it back to the surface in this lifetime. It’s only deeper from here to eternity. I vow forever to you. You hold all of my yesterdays and I vow to give you all of my tomorrows.” Ben works down a hard swallow and cradles the side of my face. “You’re my girl now. I knew you’d be my last dance.”

It’s my turn to sniffle, sob, and halfway choke on emotion. “I love you,” I say to Ben, laying my hand on top of his. “How am I supposed to follow that?” There’s tittering from our audience as I try to compose myself enough to get my vows out.

Ben smiles wide and pulls me into another hug. “Finally!” he announces. “I made her cry out of happiness!” Everyone roars with laughter at that comment, and while highly inappropriate, it’s also pretty endearing at the same time. We’re allowed to poke fun at our torrid past.

I pull away from the hug. “All right. I’m ready,” I reply, sucking in a deep, cleansing breath. The sun is almost gone and the sky sets the perfect backdrop for this moment, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. How could I possibly appreciate a life with Ben without realizing how challenging it’s been without him?

“I could say a million things to you about how our marriage will be one that stands the test of time, but you already know that. I could tell you how everything about you is what I love, but you know that too. The fact that we’re standing here right now is a testament to our love. A weaker variety would have run in the opposite direction, would have sneered at computer pairing logistics.” I smile when I see tears form in Ben’s eyes. “My vows to you are simple, because after all these years I think this is the vow that means the most.” I have to clear my throat. “You are the person who knows me most in this world. Every single piece of me, down to cellular level is imprinted with your kindness, your understanding, your love of country, your persistence, your knowledge, your love.”

I pause, pressing my lips together. “I vow to be your best friend because those are just as important as wives. I promise to never take another breath for granted. I promise to take all of you and love it the best way I know how.” If you don’t believe in magic, I’d tell you to look skyward. The answers are out there. You just need to know how, and when, to look. I’ve never seen so clearly than I do in this moment.

I cross my hands in front of me and with tears filling his eyes, Ben does the same, grabbing onto mine. I take in a deep, jagged breath and say, “Harbenny, Harbenny, getcha, bitchen some, we rule the world, you’re my life plus one.”

Our parents stand, cheering like maniacs, the only people in on the joke, and the pastor pronounces us husband and wife. I leap into Ben’s arms and we kiss like our lives depend on it.

At this point, they kind of do.

++++

There are those stories that speak to an author on soul level. LIFE PLUS ONE is one of those stories for me. I honestly can’t think about Ben and Harper’s love without getting a little misty eyed. There’s different kinds of love everyone experiences throughout their lifetime, but the kind that is the most devastating is the kind you don’t embrace fully. In the first draft of this novel, the story ended at the water tower. Ben and Harper looking into the distance—a sky half-dark and half-light, the atmosphere tinged with equal parts sadness and happiness. I envisioned their future, and it always, always ended in a forever after, but showing it was hard, painful almost, because of all of their missed chances and because of how much time was wasted not embracing this epic, life altering love.

To my readers: thank you for coming on the journey with me. You make my dream possible! Thank you to all of the people that made this story possible: my early readers, my Racy Readers, my editor, and proofreader, and formatter. They take my blood, sweat, and tears, and polish it, validate it, and hold my hand thorough the process. Your support means more than words ever will.

Thanks, as always, to my ultimate, lifelong muse, my husband. You’re all the best parts of my characters and I wouldn’t have them if I didn’t have you. You choose to run in the direction of chaos and destruction. Like Ben, 9/11 was a deciding factor in serving your country, and that is the greatest, most respectable decision one can ever make. You’re my life plus one. Always.