Gator

“I’m not.” I brace myself above her. “Not done with you. Don’t see how I could ever be.”

“You lied to me. I think it would be better if you left now.” Her eyes snap, promising the hellfire and brimstone I deserve. She’s not wrong, but I can’t make myself leave, not now. Not if there’s any chance at redemption and a second chance. My place is with her, and if she doesn’t understand that, I need to make her see the truth.

Or maybe not.

“You have to know this can’t work,” she announces. She’s not wrong. I’m a liar and a bad man, and this has to be about what she wants. Not me. I roll off her and shove to my feet.

“Just hear me out, okay?” I say as she glares up at me. “I know I’ve kept secrets from you. We can argue semantics about whether or not I flat-out lied, but what I did was wrong. Nothing I can do about that now, but I had orders from my president and I did what was right by the club. It was also wrong by you. I hope that maybe you can find it in yourself to forgive me, maybe forget the shit I’ve screwed up. Think you can do that for me?”

Poppy sits upright so fast that her tits bounce beneath her shirt. “You think it’s that easy?”

“Honestly?” I can’t hold back a smile. Fuck, but she’s gorgeous when she’s pissed at me. “No. But a man can hope, sweetheart.”

She makes a scoffing noise—kind of like a pin puncturing that whole balloon of hope thing I’ve got going on. “Hope is not a strategy.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got a plan, too.”

“What?” She crosses her arms over her chest. And since getting anywhere near her with a weapon is likely to end with her killing me and Fang having a hell of a clean up job on his hands, I step away for a second to strip off my knives and my gun and set them on top of the dresser by the door.

“I might want those,” she says slowly.

“You want to make me hurt?”

“And if I say yes?”

“You don’t need a blade or a bullet to make me bleed for you.” I cross the room so that I’m back by her side. And then I drop down on my knees. “You tell me to go and really mean it, I’m gonna bleed. I may have rammed your canoe that day we met because I had orders to stop you from investigating the wolves you’d found—” her indignant curse reminds me that I hadn’t shared that little nugget of truth with her—“but I kept you because I wanted you. I’m not good at figuring out feelings or being romantic, but here’s the truth. These weeks we’ve had together have been the best of my life. I miss you when you’re not by my side.”

“You kidnapped me,” she points out. “You destroyed my boat, my research, and my career.”

“I did,” I admit. “Like I said, I had my reasons. Club reasons. I thought that shit had to come first.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m on my knees.”

“And?”

“And I’m begging you for a chance,” I growl. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I know you’re the woman for me, and I can’t just give up on the possibility of us being together. Don’t ask me to walk away from you and our baby because I’m not strong enough to do that.” I would if she needed me to, and that is the truth. I think we both know that. “I’m no fucking poet, so this isn’t gonna be pretty or dressed up any, but I love you. Doesn’t mean you have to love me back or give me that chance, but I’d really fucking appreciate it if you thought about it.”

Poppy’s not a wolf, but part of me is and always will be. I lower myself in front of her, sliding my arms on either side of her as I rest my head on her thighs and expose my throat. I’m down on my knees. Open. Vulnerable. She stares down at me, and I have no idea what’s going through her head. If this can work. If I still have a shot at heaven.

“You love me,” she repeats softly.

“I do.” I’ve got no clue what she’s gonna decide about us, so I just breathe her in, my body trying not to crowd hers but wanting to be close at the same time. Christ, we just fit together like the last two pieces in a puzzle. Not sure how she can’t feel it, too, but that’s her call.

“No more lies,” she whispers. “No more secrets. Not ever, Gator.”

“If I can’t tell you something because it’s club business, I’ll make that clear,” I warn. “I can’t promise to tell you everything, but I can promise you this. You’ll always come first for me. The Bean will be second, and the club comes third. You feel me?”

“I do.” She nods her head.

I press my mouth against her thigh because I need to touch her or die. “You gonna let me up? Or do I have to spend the rest of the night on my knees?”

Because I’ve got no fucking problem with staying right here. I’ll wait as long as it takes for her to say yes. Funny how the most important fight of my life doesn’t involve fists or guns or even blades… and yet it feels like someone’s digging my heart out one lonely inch at a time.

I tilt my head back so I can look into her eyes. “I love you. No matter what happens between us, nothing changes that. I’ll always be here for you.”

“On your knees?” Her voice is soft.

“If that’s what it takes. You’re everything for me. You’re all I want, and I’m gonna be whatever, whoever you need me to be, and Christ I hope it’s enough for you to think about keeping me in your life. I want us together, whether it’s here in your place, or out in the bayou on the island because whatever I have is yours and we both know that.”

“I don’t want you on your knees.”

“Tell me what you need and it’s yours.”

She stares at me. Fuck. Are those tears in her eyes? Or maybe it’s something in mine. Fuck if I know. Fuck if…

“Come here.” She tugs at my shoulders and I move. She’s still finishing her sentence when I roll her beneath me on the bed. No. Wait. Since I need to look out for Number Two in my life, I twist until she’s straddling me. Looking down at me, inside me. She plants her palms over my heart.

“I love you,” she says.

“Thank fuck,” I growl right before I pull her down on top of me so her heart’s touching mine just like it should. Like I’ve dreamed of every night and most of the goddamned days since I first saw her.