After tripping down the steps and almost breaking my neck, I sit at the bottom, set my bag on the ground, and drop my head in my hands. What the hell just happened? Clay’s words echo in my head. Wanna go back to my room, baby? We can show them how it’s done. God, he’s such a jerk! I can’t believe his solution to finding out Max forgot me because he was too busy with another girl is to compete with him in the moaning department. My disgust at his suggestion did distract me for a few precious seconds though, so I should probably thank him. But, I won’t. I can only hope Linc doesn’t grow up to be like his older brothers. One Mitchell hottie has to be a decent human being.

I pull out my phone and send my sister a quick text. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be. It’s close enough to five that she should be able to cut out of work and come get me.

Leave it to Anna to make me laugh even when my heart is crushed.

Standing, I slip my phone back into my pocket and pick up my backpack. The playground area of the apartment complex is behind the building next to Max and Clay’s, so it won’t take but a minute to get over there. I don’t want either of them to see me sitting out here all pitiful-like. Clay because he’ll make another asinine remark and Max because I don’t want him to know how much he hurt me. I’m sure Clay told him what happened though; hell, he probably burst in on them doing it to break the news. It’s exactly something Clay would do, and I have to smile at the thought of Max being interrupted mid-climax by his brother running into the room yelling at him for forgetting me. He’ll probably offer to take over where Max leaves off too. He’s such a pig.

Surprisingly, the playground is deserted. I guess kids are inside doing homework or eating supper. Dropping my bag in the mulch, I sit on one of the swings and think back on when I was younger. I only had to worry if my sister was going to get in trouble for being mean to me, or if my mom was going to force me to do the unthinkable—eat Brussels Sprouts. Now, I’m older, and even though I’m in that weird place where I’m not a child, but don’t quite feel like an adult either, things are much harder.

I don’t know what to do about Max. He’s my best friend, but I want him to be more. I’ve never come out and told him about my crush, but he has to know. Everyone else does. Surely he’s not that clueless. Does he not know how much it hurts to see him with other girls? With the exception of Gavin Doyle, a guy I dated senior year, I’ve been single since we met. Max was dating Kelly Wood and I was so jealous my vision should have been tinged with green. Gavin was just this guy I hung out with sometimes, a guy to go on double dates with where I could pretend I was with Max instead. God, if that doesn’t scream this girl is pathetic, I don’t know what does.

“Kat!” a familiar, worried voice yells, bringing me out of my pity party. Max is running towards me, no jacket, just wearing a t-shirt and jeans that aren’t buttoned, his dark hair messy. When he stops in front of me, his chest heaving, and his eyes wide and wary, I notice he’s not even wearing shoes. Leaning over, he braces his hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. A movement off to his side catches my attention and I see Clay coming our way. He’s wearing his jacket; hands tucked into his pockets. The Nashville U ball cap on his head makes his eyes impossible to see, even if he didn’t have his head down. It’s a posture I’ve never seen on Clay before. He looks uncomfortable, as if this is the last place he wants to be.

Max drops down on his knees in front of the swing I’m sitting on, his position forcing me to look down on him as he gives me his best puppy dog impression. “Kat, honey,” he starts, his voice cajoling. He takes my hands in his, “I’m so sorry. Please say you’ll forgive me. You know you’re my favorite.” He smiles up at me sheepishly, and I know he’s expecting instant forgiveness.

Ugh. He doesn’t even try to explain himself, although honestly, that might not be a bad thing. I’m not sure I can handle hearing how sticking it to some girl was more important than picking me up and keeping the plans we had for tonight. Still disgusted with him, I yank my hands out of his, doing it so fast he loses his balance, and almost falls backwards. It makes him drop one hand to the wood chips to stop his momentum.

“C’mon Kat, don’t be that way,” he pleads from his awkward position.

Before I can tell him to go to hell, Clay grabs him by the back of his t-shirt and pulls him up so he’s standing once more. “Jeez, Max,” he grunts, “could you at least try not to be a bigger pussy than the one you were just in?”

Max look away, and his ears turn bright red when his brother shoves that mental picture in my head. Suddenly, I have visions of Max being a life-sized vagina. It’s not a pretty picture either. It makes me feel better to make him a dancing vajayjay though, one with poor grooming habits. Yeah, that’s right … in my head right now, Max is a hairy, dancing vaj. I put a hand over my mouth to try to cover my combination snort-laugh, but when I meet Clay’s eyes and see the smirk on his face, I know he knows exactly what I’m thinking. A two-hour class with him this afternoon was too much. Now I’m thinking like him.

Clay’s eyes dart away from mine, looking over my shoulder. I turn to see my sister coming our way, wearing a candy apple red coat with double black buttons that reaches to about mid-thigh on her. Her chocolate brown hair, so much like mine is tucked up under a black beanie, and she’s wearing black skinny jeans with black ankle boots. Just looking at her makes me feel frumpy and unfashionable in my black leggings and slightly baggy plum-colored top. I watch his eyes skim down her body and weirdly want to punch him. I’ve clearly been spending too much time with Peyton.

“Hey,” she says, whiskey-colored eyes assessing the three of us, trying to figure out why I wanted her to come get me if Max is here. Usually, I jump at the chance to be alone in the car with him. Max looks up at me, sadness in his eyes, knowing I asked her here so I wouldn’t have to rely on him to take me home. “Everything okay, Kat?” she asks, her gaze returning to search mine, silently asking questions I don’t want to answer. Instead, I just nod, and knowing me as well as she does, she lets it drop, for the moment, with a shrug. “O-kay. Well, I’m going to the ‘rents for dinner. Wanna come with?”

Now that Lyric’s moved in with her boyfriend, Anna eats a lot of her dinners at our parents’ house. She says it’s because she got used to not eating alone, and it gives her a reason to leave work on time. It makes sense because her boss is possibly a bigger asshole than Clay is, so I totally get it. “Yes,” I say, a little too enthusiastically, jumping up from where I’d been drawing random designs in the wood chips with the toe of my Chucks. One side of her mouth tips up in a smile, but it’s forced. She knows I’m upset, and I know she wants nothing more than to beat the crap out of both guys, not caring which of them hurt me or how. God knows Clay’s done enough damage to my psyche over the years.

“But, Kat …” Max starts, trailing off when I turn my head and glare at him. His next words come out sounding dejected. “Can we please talk? Just for a minute?”

I hesitate, the sadness in his voice getting to me, but I’m not ready to mend the newest tear in our friendship. Shaking my head, I say quietly, “No, Max. Not tonight.” I sound as tired as I suddenly feel; resigned to the friend zone he’s placed me in for all these years. Maybe I’m finally realizing that Max and Kat? Kax? Mat? Mitten? Yeah, it’s never gonna happen. If he cared about me that way at all, he wouldn’t have blown me off so he could get laid. Gah, Clay, get out of my head! Max looks down and away, concentrating on anything but me, Clay and Anna. Seeing him look so lost makes me want to hug him, tell him everything will be okay, but I just can’t right now.

He starts to say something else, but Clay cuts him off. “Max! For fuck’s sake, stop acting like a douche. She said she doesn’t want to talk, so stop trying to make her feel shitty for something you did.” He looks over at Anna, then continues, “She’s going to her mom’s for dinner, so you’re SOL.” His brow furrows, so fast I think I might have imagined it, but then he nudges Max with his shoulder. “Speaking of mom’s, we should go to ours. I bet she’s got some kind of cake or brownies. Something sweet. Plus, you know she makes enough to feed an army every night anyway.” Clay raises a hand to wave dismissively before dragging his brother by the back of his shirt and away from us.

Anna watches them go, one hand on her hip, before turning to me with a look in her eye I’m a little scared of. “Well, isn’t that interesting.” I narrow my eyes at her, but she doesn’t elaborate. I want to ask what she means, but she bends over to grab my bag off the ground and slings it over one shoulder. She hums a popular song as she heads back to her car, and I’m left to stare after her in complete confusion.