Chapter Eight
Leo was shivering when Alfie led him by the hand into the living room, and Alfie didn’t think it was just from the cold. He felt the same nervous tension because, whatever this might look like on the outside, it didn’t feel like a casual hookup. It felt significant in ways he couldn’t begin to explain.
The only lights were those on the Christmas tree, a warm ivory glow that bathed the room in gentle shadows. He turned and Leo walked into his arms, looking up at him through foggy glasses.
“Huh,” Leo said in a nervy, laughing voice, “I’m steaming up.”
“It’s because I’m so hot,” Alfie said, smiling.
Leo laughed as he pulled his glasses off to clean them, tugging out the hem of a t-shirt from among his layers. And Alfie’s breath caught. It changed him, losing those heavy dark frames from his face, turned him elfin. The pale green of his eyes shone darker in the half-light, his mobile mouth hovering between a smile and something else, and all Alfie wanted to do was kiss him. Taking the glasses from his hands, Alfie set them aside and tipped Leo’s chin up to capture his mouth once more. Leo softened under his touch, relaxing against him, compliant in his arms.
The feel of him, tensile under his heavy sweater, wiry arms looping around Alfie’s neck as they kissed deeper, sent what blood was left in Alfie’s head pounding down below his belt. He stiffened in his jeans, and might have felt embarrassed by the speed of his reaction had Leo not started a slow, circular grind of his hips, groaning into their kiss as his own hard cock nudged against Alfie’s.
Fuck, it felt good. They were igniting, going up in flames. Everything happened so fast between them, and so fucking fantastically. It felt like fate. Alfie fought his way beneath Leo’s layers, seeking out hot bare skin, and sighed as his hand finally found it, slipping along the smooth curve of Leo’s lower back. “What do you like?” he murmured. “What do you want?”
Leo’s lips caressed his jaw, working down his neck. “Anything. Whatever you want.” He groaned, grinding his hips against Alfie’s as Alfie dipped his fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans and over his ass. “Fuck, Alfie. It’s been… God, it’s been forever.”
“Me too,” Alfie whispered. Everything had been about LLB for months. “Fuck, I really want you, Leo.”
In his arms, Leo stilled.
Alfie pulled back cautiously. “Okay?”
His eyes were impossibly wide, oddly pleading. In an uneven voice he said, “Do you, though? Do you really want this? With me?”
Alfie laughed, although he felt a pulse of uncertainty. “Uh, yeah… Do you?”
“Yes, I—” A frown flashed across Leo’s face. “Oh, God, but you don’t really know me, do you?”
“I know you well enough,” Alfie said carefully, “but if you’re having second thoughts…?”
“No.” Leo grabbed his hand, keeping him in place. “No, I just— I need to know that you want this. That you want me—Leo Novak, owner of a failing bookstore, pompous prick. Semi-Grinch.”
Relaxing, Alfie leaned in to kiss him again. Wired tight, was Leo Novak, and pretty adorable with it. “I do want this,” Alfie said against his lips. “I want you—Leo Novak, owner of a soon-to-be successful bookstore, occasionally pompous prick. And reformed-Grinch. I want you a lot. Right now. Right here.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Good enough?”
“Yes,” Leo said after a pause. “Yes, God, I want you too, Alfie. So much.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
They stripped themselves and each other, sweaters, undershirts, and shoes left in their wake as they stumbled toward the couch and tumbled onto it together. Alfie had Leo under him, which he liked, one thigh between his legs as they rocked together. In the glow of the Christmas lights, Leo’s body was beautiful—silken skin, lightly muscled, an interesting trail of dark hair leading down beneath his jeans, hard pink nipples the same color as his lips. He moved with sinuous grace, hips arching as he looked for more friction, the tempting jut of his hipbones making Alfie’s mouth water.
He leaned down and kissed Leo’s mouth, pillowed his head in the crook of one arm and let his other hand trail down over that sensuous body, over ribs and the plains of his stomach, the curve of his hip to the small of his back. Beneath him, Leo moaned and squirmed against him, arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. After a while, Leo pulled back. “Sit up,” he whispered in a rasping, kiss-ravaged voice. “I want to see you.”
Breathless, Alfie sat up, straddling him. He was so hard he had to unbutton his jeans to ease the pressure, and Leo’s eyes widened, teeth biting at his lower lip in a way that almost undid Alfie right there.
“Look at you,” Leo whispered, fingertips trailing over the ridges of muscles on Alfie’s body. He was in good shape and he knew it, but it had never meant anything until this moment with Leo’s hands on him and his eyes bright pools of want. “All this time,” Leo whispered, “I wondered what you’d look like. And look at you, you’re gorgeous.”
Alfie smiled, taken aback by the idea that Alfie had thought anything about him beyond disdain for the past year. Not that he was complaining.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he said, running both hands over Leo’s body, loving how he arched up in response to the touch. “Fuck, you’re so hot.”
“And this,” Leo whispered, his fingers drifting down to the head of Alfie’s cock, freed from his jeans but not his underwear. He shuddered under that gentle touch, had to struggle for control. “Can I…?” Leo looked up at him. “I want to suck you. Can I?”
“Fuck, yes. Are you sure?”
Leo only nodded, sitting up as they shifted around, and then sliding to his knees on the floor between Alfie’s thighs. With eager hands, he freed Alfie’s cock and for a moment just knelt there, gazing up at him with eyes darkened by desire, the Christmas lights glinting on his black hair and ivory skin. Alfie didn’t think anyone had ever looked so beautiful. “Leo,” he said, reaching out to touch his face. “God …”
For an instant, Leo leaned into that touch, then he closed his eyes and bent down to brush his lips over the head of Alfie’s cock. He almost jerked right up off the sofa, had to fight the urge, sucking in deep breaths as Leo kissed and licked his way down the shaft and back to the top before finally, finally taking Alfie into his mouth.
“Oh fuck!” It came out as a shout, his fingers clenching into Leo’s hair. “Not gonna last,” he gritted out. It had been too long, he’d been wound tight with unresolved tension for months, his body was urgent with the need for release.
But Leo seemed much the same, the fingers of one hand clamped firmly on Alfie’s hip, his other holding the base of his cock as he sucked and moaned and let Alfie thrust lightly up into his mouth. Stars began to dot his vision, the tension building unbearably in his thighs and stomach, along his back, down his arms. “I’m coming,” he warned as the tension boiled over, “Leo. Fuck, I’m—” He tried to pull him off, but Leo just went deeper and Alfie jerked up once, hard, as he cried out and emptied himself into Leo’s throat.
It felt like it lasted forever, that he was floating up and out with the snow, with the lights, weightless as the tension broke and pleasure suffused him from head to toes. And then he was sinking back into his body, aware of Leo’s head resting against his thigh, of the thundering of his own breathing, and the sharp rise and fall of Leo’s back under his hand. Of Leo’s desire, still raw and unfulfilled.
Bones like honey, Alfie made himself move, curled his fingers into Leo’s wild crop of hair, found his cheek and lifted his chin. “Your turn,” he said, slow as molasses.
“You don’t have to—”
He didn’t bother answering that, simply slid himself off the sofa and lay Leo on his back on the rug. “So beautiful,” he murmured, tracing a hand over the angles of Leo’s face. Alfie leaned in and kissed him, tasting himself, raw in that kiss. It would have been enough to stir him, had he not been so totally spent. Even so, his body flooded with a low heat beneath his skin.
Leo was breathing fast. “Alfie,” he said. “Alfie. Oh God, I should…” He broke off when Alfie pressed a kiss to his chest, took a hard pink nipple into his mouth and sucked. Then worked his way lower, mouthing down his ribs to his stomach, kissing the arc of his hip, sucking in a mark that would last, and heading down to that perfectly slender, beautiful cock. He looked up through his lashes, saw Leo staring at the ceiling, chest rising and falling.
“Shall I?” Alfie asked, just checking.
After a pause Leo nodded. “Yes,” he whispered, looking down to meet Alfie’s gaze. “God help me, yes. Please.”
Alfie smiled, stroked a hand over Leo’s cheek. “Relax,” he said. “I’ve got this.”
And he did. He loved this, was good at it, and Leo sank back with a soft sound as Alfie took him down in one swift, deep plunge. It had been a while, but he hadn’t forgotten how. Leo, it turned out, was a screamer, kept up a constant babble of obscenities as Alfie drove him closer and closer to the edge. At one point, Alfie found Leo’s hand with his own, threading their fingers together as Leo tensed, hips jerking as they found their rhythm, and then with a final shout –“Oh God, Alfie please”—he came, fingers clenching around Alfie’s hand as he spent.
Alfie took every drop, kissed him as he softened, and then crawled up his body and dragged him limp and boneless into his arms. “Christ,” he said, when he could find words. “That was…”
Leo buried his head into his shoulder, one arm sliding tight around Alfie’s waist. “Perfect,” he whispered. “Oh God, Alfie, it was perfect.”
Why he sounded so devastated, Alfie couldn’t say. But sex took some people that way, toppled all your emotions and it took a while to get them settled again. So he just held Leo close, pressed his lips against his shoulder and waited for the storm to pass.
***
Leo came back to himself as his body began to cool.
He was sprawled on a rug, gazing up at Christmas lights glinting through the boughs of a beautiful tree, pressed against the naked form of Alfie Carter.
The man he loved.
He’d been in love with Camaro89 for months, but somewhere between Alfie first kissing him in the snow outside his shop and coming apart in his arms, Camaro89 and Alfie had blended into one man. And Leo loved him.
“You okay?” Alfie’s hand rubbed lazily along Leo’s arm, his voice a bass rumble in his chest.
Leo tipped his head to look at him. “Yes. You?”
Alfie’s answering smile looked bemused, as if he couldn’t quite believe where they were. “Very much okay, yeah.” He rolled them until Leo was on his back, head cushioned by Alfie’s arm, and they kissed, tasting of sex and warm heat. “We should get dressed,” Alfie said, “before we freeze.”
They laughed and shivered as they hunted around the living room for their clothes, apparently scattered to the four winds, but eventually Leo had found underwear, jeans, a t-shirt and his sweater.
“Is this yours?” Alfie asked, holding up a billfold.
“Yeah.” It must have fallen out of his jeans, along with his phone.
Alfie set them both on a side table next to the sofa, reaching over with a distracting glimpse of bare midriff to switch on a lamp at the same time. Warm light flooded the room, glowing on blond wood floors, a grey stone fireplace and wood burner, dimming the lights on the Christmas tree that stood in the corner by the window. Outside, Leo saw the frantic whip of falling snow against the glass, heard the wind howl down the chimney.
Alfie reached for his flannel shirt and slipped it on. “It’s wild out there,” he said, following Leo’s gaze.
“It got pretty wild in here,” Leo said, earning a broad grin that melted him from the inside out.
Alfie crossed the room, padding over the floor in his socks, and tugged Leo into his arms. “C’mere,” he said, and just hugged him, breathing deep.
Hardly usual hookup behavior, but this was no hookup. This was something else entirely, this was the culmination of a year of slow-building friendship and love—only Alfie didn’t know it. Leo put his arms around him and squeezed, burying his face against Alfie’s shoulder, and let all his fears blow away with the snowstorm. They were for the morning, for the real world. Tonight, there was only them. And it was perfect.
Leo’s stomach began to growl and Alfie laughed, arms tightening before letting go. “Let’s feed the beast,” he said, poking Leo gently in the belly. “I think I’ve got a couple frozen pizzas.”
While they cooked, Leo nosed around Alfie’s living room, taking in the shelves of audiobook CDs.
“I’ve got most of them on my phone now,” Alfie said, slipping an arm around Leo’s waist and offering him one of the craft beers he enjoyed so much. “But I like being able to see them. They’re like old friends.” He cast Leo an adorably shy look, given what they’d just done together. “If you want to borrow any of them, feel free.”
“I would,” Leo said, running his fingers over the titles. “I can’t believe I’ve never thought of engaging with books like this.” Although, in the privacy of his own mind, he admitted that he’d had something of a snobbish aversion to the idea—as if the act of reading words on paper was inherently superior to hearing them read aloud. Stupid, now that he thought about it, but then rather a lot of his recent ideas had turned out to be stupid.
There were DVDs on the shelves too, and among them Leo spotted a number of familiar and favorite titles. “P&P,” he said, pulling out the case. “The Colin Firth version.”
“If you tell me you prefer the other one, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
“Please.” Leo made a face. “Give me some credit.”
Alfie kissed him soundly on the temple. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”
“Do you want to…?” Leo looked at him, caught those smiling dark eyes. He and Camaro89 had planned to binge watch the show together on Christmas day, and suddenly all Leo wanted to do was cozy up and watch together, in real life. “We could watch an episode or two maybe?”
“Absolutely.” Alfie’s face filled with astonished delight, as if the sun had chosen to rise in Leo’s eyes. “I think you might be my soulmate,” he said with a shaky laugh that did nothing to dilute the intensity of his words.
Leo’s heart juddered, losing its rhythm. I think so too, he wanted to say, but kept it to himself. Instead, he caught Alfie’s laugh, giving it back to him as he leaned in to kiss his smiling lips.
So they ate pretty decent frozen pizza snuggled up together on the sofa, while the snow fell outside and Darcy and Elizabeth began their to-and-fro courtship on screen.
It was impossibly perfect.
Later, when even Austen couldn’t distract them from each other, Alfie took Leo by the hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. This time, they undressed with more decorum and slid, naked, beneath the heavy covers, finding each other between cool sheets, kissing and touching, sliding against each other in an intimate, unchoreographed dance.
They fit so well. Alfie’s gorgeous, muscled body seemed made for Leo’s touch, their legs entwined, hard cocks thrusting together in the spaces between them, hot and slick. Alfie’s hands ranged all over Leo’s back, into his hair, over his ass, his mouth a wet heat against the bolt of Leo’s jaw, his throat. “Incredible,” he murmured, breathing the words hot against his skin. “This is so… God, I feel so much.”
“Yes. Me too. Me too, Alfie.”
With a tender hand cupping his face, Alfie kissed him. A deep, thorough, hungry kiss, his weight pressing Leo into the mattress, their cocks grinding between them as their hips rolled together.
Groaning, Leo wrapped his legs around Alfie’s waist, changing the angle, increasing the pressure. Alfie growled, one hand sliding underneath to grab Leo’s ass, thrusting harder, cocks riding against each other in a crescendo of friction. “Leo,” he growled. “Fuck, Leo, come on.”
And then he bit down on Leo’s shoulder. The jolt of delicious pain sent him sparking over the edge, and he shot between them with a startled shout of joy.
“Christ. Fuck.” And Alfie was gone too, arching up, rigid, as he pulsed in warm waves against Leo’s belly, hot and sticky and perfect. And then they were collapsing into each other’s arms, laughing at the mess, dragging in long heaving breaths.
There was no question of Leo leaving; it wasn’t even something they discussed. After Alfie hauled himself to the bathroom and fetched a warm washcloth to clean them up, he just switched off the lights, slipped back into bed, and pulled Leo into his arms. He lay there listening to the steady beat of Alfie’s heart beneath his ear, to the sound of the storm raging outside, and sank into vast contentment.
But then Alfie spoke, his voice soft in the dark. “I can’t believe how fast this is happening,” he said, the words ruffling Leo’s hair. “I feel… It’s almost like we already know each other.”
And suddenly the darkness became tense, watching. Waiting.
This was the moment. Leo recognized it as he let it drift silently past. This was the moment when he should have spoken. But he was too afraid; the thought of losing Alfie now, of losing everything, terrified him. The risk was unbearable and he couldn’t take it.
Burying his face into the warm skin of Alfie’s bare shoulder, he said nothing and his chance slipped away. Alfie’s arms loosened around him, his breathing deepening, evening out into sleep.
But Leo lay awake much longer, resisting the pull of sleep for fear of what waking might bring.