Shane
Time. Time was an illusion. Whoever said that was dead right.
Shane had arrived at the floral conservatory at six. By the time they got to the first pub he saw, something quaint, nestled into the corner of a strip mall filled up with artsy stores that sold tea, handmade clothing, fair trade goods, and frozen fish, it felt like he’d lived a lifetime.
“Frozen fresh fish? Don’t you think that’s a bit misleading?”
“What?” Rayvn turned tired, swollen eyes his way. The rims were puffy and red, and the whites were bloodshot, but they were still easily the most beautiful eyes he’d seen in his entire life. What the hell is wrong with me? What does thinking that even say about me?
Shane didn’t want to think about what was going on with him. He didn’t want to dwell on the fact that if Nina was there, she’d probably take one look at him and tell him he was entirely smitten. Smitten. It wasn’t a word that should apply to him. He carefully steered his attention back to Rayvn.
It didn’t help that she was sitting right across from him and the pub was dark, the romantic kind of dark, and they’d had a few drinks to take the edge off and her long thick lashes kept fluttering down to rest on her perfectly smooth cheeks. Then there was the fact that her cheekbones were so prominent, her skin so smooth looking, her lips so full and kissable…
“What were you talking about? What about the fish?”
“Oh.” Shane grinned. “I keep staring out the window at that store across the parking lot. It says Fresh Frozen Fish on the sign. Isn’t that misleading? How can it be fresh if it’s frozen?”
Rayvn rolled her eyes. “Dork. Maybe it’s freshly frozen, not fresh.”
“Oh. I see. Do you think most people would get that?”
“I don’t know.”
Rayvn smiled slowly, those damn naturally red lips doing crazy things to his insides. Because it was highly likely she wanted to kill him, she bit down on her bottom lip. He imagined doing that, sinking his teeth there, nipping her and hearing her gasp. His insides clenched up hard and he purposely picked up his pint and took a long swig of it. He didn’t stop until the glass was almost drained. There was only an inch or two left when he set it back down.
“You have a nice smile.”
She blinked at him and it took him a minute to realize he’d spoken out loud. The heat that spread to his face was instant and he had to look away and just hope like hell she didn’t realize that he was blushing.
“Uhhh, thanks… I think.”
“Why don’t we order some food?”
Shane tried to cover his tracks. He flipped open the menu that had been left at the edge of the table by their hopeful waitress who was trying to drum up extra business. He hadn’t planned on it when they got there, but he decided he was hungry. Or at least, it would be a good distraction.
“Food?”
“You know, something to eat? I’m starving.” It was half a lie, but he had to roll with it once he’d started it.
“Alright.”
Rayvn’s lips curled up again. It was good to see her smile. He really did like it a lot, even if saying so made him look like an idiot.
He perused the menu while Rayvn waited, hands folded in her lap. She watched him. Even though he didn’t look up, he could feel her gaze on him. His blood heated and his pulse began to thrum wildly at the side of his throat.
“How about wings?”
“Yeah, I’d like those. It would be nice to be able to fly. Probably one of my three wishes if I was ever granted them.”
“What?” He looked up so sharply his neck ached.
Rayvn laughed softly. It was like the sound ice makes when it hits the side of a glass after someone twirls it softly. God, he liked it. He wanted to hear that sound more often. That feeling came again, hitting him hard. He felt like he was fighting a battle he’d already lost.
“I’m just kidding. I know you mean chicken wings.”
“Oh. Okay, well we don’t have to have those?”
“How about fish and chips? That seems like good pub fare.”
“How do you know they have fish and chips? You didn’t even look at the menu.”
“I was just taking a guess. Do they have it?”
Shane flipped through. “Yeah. They do. Looks like you’re going to get lucky.”
“Would that be fresh or frozen do you think?” Rayvn picked up her drink, a gin and tonic and took a sip. She smiled coyly at him.
He barely managed to suppress the urge to burst into sharp laughter. He knew that everyone in the pub, which was about eight other people at three different tables, would stare at them. He tended to snort when he laughed real hard and he didn’t want to do that in front of Rayvn either.
“Okay, fish and chips it is.”
Shane closed the menu, flagged down their waiter and ordered. He got them both a refresh on their drinks without asking Rayvn if she wanted one, but she didn’t protest after their waiter was gone.
“I like this place,” she said softly. Her eyes roamed the pub. “It’s cool, with the old barn wood on the walls and the vintage pictures. I like that kind of stuff.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed. It’s not like your store is full of it or anything. Antiques I mean.”
“Yup. That’s me. I’m lucky enough to be able to do what I love for a living. I get to pick antiques, sell antiques, refinish antiques and keep what I want for myself. I’m very, very blessed.”
“Or talented.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, I’m sure it’s not everyone who could do that and make a living wage at it. I think it’s more of a side hobby or a passion for people.”
“I’m not that talented,” Rayvn protested softly. “A lot of it has to do with the fact that we do sell other stuff. We sell fare trade coffee and tea and handmade products and stuff from other people. You probably didn’t see all the knitted section or the canned jams and what not. Anyway, that’s a huge part of the sales. Charlotte paints the art on the walls and Laney makes dream catchers and she also crochets and refinishes furniture. They’re both a part of why we’re really good at what we do and why we’re able to make a living doing it. It’s not a huge chunk of money, but that’s okay. I’d rather budget and do what I love than have lots of money and hate my life.”
“Or make a good wage and hate what you’re doing. I do have money, but it didn’t come from working.”
“Really? Where did you get it then?” Rayvn leaned a little further in. Her eyes were intense, and he could tell she truly was interested.
“Oh…” Shane backtracked. How do I even get myself into this. He didn’t want to talk about his dad, but he’d opened up his own can of worms or made his own bed or whatever stupid cliché people used. “Uh- well, it’s a long story.”
“Okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, no, I’ll tell you. You’ll think I’m an asshole though.”
“What if I already do?” Her dark eyes twinkled, and he could tell she was just kidding. At least, he hoped she was.
“Then there’s no hope if I tell you about this.”
“Tell me. Then I’ll decide.”
“Alright.” He folded his arms, ignored the drink he wanted to pound back and settled in. “A few years ago, my dad died. He left a will naming my brother the sole beneficiary. It was a pretty big chunk of money. My brother and I weren’t really close. He left home early. He was way older than me. He stayed in touch. He told me he’d give mom a share, since obviously she deserved it and it was the right thing to do. He made me work for mine though. He had this idea, since he didn’t know me well and didn’t know Nina at all, that he could bribe his way into getting to know her. He said that if I arranged a few dates with her, he’d sign over a third to me as well.”
“What? That’s crazy.”
“Yup. I guess he was crazy into her. They went on their dates and Nina wasn’t into it. At least, she promised me she wasn’t, but I could tell she was. She was attracted at least. It was a horrible thought, my best friend and my brother…”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It just made me insane at the time. I didn’t want Nina getting hurt and I didn’t want my brother coming back into my life and fucking everything up. I’d known Nina for a long time. She was my best friend. She still is. I guess maybe I was jealous too.”
“You think?”
“Yeah.”
“That was a rhetorical question.”
Shane let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I got that. Anyway, it worked out. There was some shit that went down, and I tried to tear them apart, but then I realized how shitty that was and I made it right. It was their start and they’ve been together ever since. They’re married now. They have the shop together. She’s a teacher, which she always wanted to be. They’re happy.”
“And what about you?”
Shane squirmed in the wooden seat. The thing was old. Every single table in there looked like it was picked out of someone’s old farmhouse. They were beat up and scarred from years of use. That was probably half the allure. The chairs didn’t match the tables. Most of them didn’t even match each other. He knew it was purposely done and judging by the way Rayvn looked at the place when they walked in, she was in heaven just being there. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect place if he’d actually planned it.
“What about me?” His mouth watered for a sip of the pint bubbling away in front of him. He purposely didn’t reach for it, as he thought it would be a direct tell that something wasn’t right.
“Are you happy? Or- or does being alone sometimes get pretty damn old?”
He couldn’t take it. He gave in and took a long sip of his pint. He needed it, since his throat suddenly felt like someone had wadded up a sock and jammed it down there.
“Actually, I don’t know.” He set his glass aside. “I don’t know anything. I feel like I’ve lived five different lifetimes since I got to the conservatory.”
“Really? I feel like I just lived through one bad one. Well, it was bad for a couple of minutes, but now it’s okay.” The sarcasm, no, maybe the wit, in her tone was unmistakable.
More than anything else, Shane liked that. He liked Rayvn’s sharp wit, her snapping retorts, how she wasn’t afraid to ask him the hard questions that he couldn’t even ask himself. He didn’t like the questions exactly, but he did appreciate the fearlessness behind them. And maybe even the care. She’s asking because she really wants to know. At least, he thought so. She gave off the vibe of someone who really did care deeply about everything she did, and the people close to her. I want to be one of those people.
The thought didn’t come as a surprise, but it did disturb him. Not the thought itself, but how very much he wanted it.
He thought hard about trying to elaborate on the answer he’d given, about his happiness, or maybe ask her why she’d burst into tears and what that was all about, but their waiter appeared with two loaded up plates of breaded fish and home cooked fries and he forgot all about the hard stuff for the moment.
Apparently, Rayvn did as well. She dug into her fish like she hadn’t eaten for a week. Her eyes closed, and she sighed in delight.
“Okay, this is amazing. Definitely fresh. Or,” she grinned. “Fresh frozen. I can’t tell the difference.”
Neither could he. He didn’t care. At the moment, all the wanted to do was concentrate on Rayvn and her ethereal beauty and the fact that he was lucky enough to be there witnessing it all. It might scare the hell out of him, how much he felt already when he knew he damn well had no right to, but, for the first time ever, he was done trying to fight it, pretend he didn’t care, or drive her away so he didn’t have to.