Five.
Nik was in a good mood.
I knew this before I’d even seen her face – before I even opened my eyes – because of how I woke up. Smooth, clear vocals that wouldn’t have been out of place on a stage pulled me from the grips of sleep nearly an hour past when I’d set my alarm. I didn’t have plans, I just hadn’t wanted to waste my Saturday morning in bed. Still, I remained where I was, just listening as my cousin sang her heart out to Mariah Carey’s Butterfly album.
Heartbreaking lyrics she knew plenty about.
That thought alarmed me enough to pull me out of bed, flinging the door open to find her in the kitchen in her wireless headphones, oblivious to anything else as she did the weekly deep cleaning Aunt Darcy had instilled as a habit. I waved to get her attention, and the smile she gave me when she looked up, pulling her headphones down to rest around her neck, made my shoulders sink in relief.
“Good morning! Am I too loud?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“No, I was just worried about your set list,” I told her, pushing my arms out to stretch. “Had to make sure I didn’t need to kick any ass.”
“Oh! No, none of that,” she laughed, resting on the handle of the mop she’d been using. “The more heartache in the music, the better I clean.”
“Just like your mama.”
“You know it. They’re really excited about lunch today. Mama has had her chicken soaking in buttermilk since yesterday morning. She is ready to feed you.”
I grinned. “And I am ready to eat. We’re going together, right?”
“Yep, you’re driving.”
“That’s what I figured,” I nodded. “Let me go wash my face and brush my teeth, and I can help in here.”
Anika shook her head. “Oh girl you’re late. Once I finish this floor I’m done. And I’m starving now. You wanna come to the coffee house with me, grab a muffin or something before my mother stuffs us full of fried chicken and potato salad?”
“Hold up,” I said, raising a hand. Her plans sounded good, but I was stuck on the fact that she was telling me she was done with what was a good two hours of work. “You’re already finished? How long have you been up?”
She shrugged. “Since five or six. I didn’t mean to, but something woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Some loud thumping and bumping outside.”
My eyebrows went up. “I heard none of that. I must’ve been knocked out. Slept straight through my alarm too.”
“Mmmhmmm,” Anika smirked, going back to swirling the mop. “Must’ve been having some really sweet dreams about a certain barber…”
“Oh shut up!”
“I will not!” she teased. “Don’t try to act like you didn’t come in here the other night grinning your face off because Troy called your photos brilliant.”
I wrinkled my nose. “He did, didn’t he?”
“See there?” Anika laughed as she returned the mop to the pail full of soapy water – old school to the core when it came to things like this. “You’re beaming about it. And I still can’t believe you hit that. Troy Baldwin… just when I thought you couldn’t get any swaggier.”
Forgetting all about my plans with the bathroom, I plopped onto the couch to watch Anika… and pump her for information.
“Wait, what does that mean?” I asked, eyes wide. “Is everybody after him or something?”
“Obviously. I mean, Troy is handsome, single, has a good job, and doesn’t seem to be a creep. He has his little history here and there with people, casual flings, blah blah—”
“None of anybody’s business, except everybody knows because someone is always running their mouth?”
Anika nodded. “Precisely. But, my point is, he just abruptly stopped. He was kicking it regularly with one particular girl, but then he just dropped her, and started keeping to himself. We never see him out as much as he used to be, not even rumors about him dating anybody, and now here you come, bagging him on your first night in town. Like I said. Swaggy.”
Hoe rehab…
“Why? Like, what made him change? Did he have like a near-death experience or something? Almost get hit by a car? Get threatened by somebody’s husband?”
Nik shrugged. “Not that I know of. It really seemed like an all-of-a-sudden kinda thing. He didn’t wanna be a player no more. I mean, until—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Say what?”
“Don’t say “until you” again, as if he and I… have a thing.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “You don’t have a thing?”
“I told you what I’m on, Nik! And in case you need a reminder, it’s not that man’s dick, because that’s not why I came here.”
“Unexpected perks, cousin.” She bent to wring the extra water from the mop before she slapped it to the floor again. “You could do a lot worse. I mean, it’s not like he’s one of those who was out there, like his homey Russ is. He never had like a bad reputation, he was just… a bachelor. Normal stuff.”
I shook my head. “Why does it sound like you’re trying to talk me into him?”
“Uh, duh, because I am,” she said. “I mean you obviously like him. Your whole face lights up when you talk about him.”
“I do not talk about him.”
“We’re literally having a whole ass conversation about him right now.”
“Only because you brought him up.”
“And I only brought him up because you so clearly want him.”
Sucking my teeth, I sat up a little straighter, giving way more attitude than needed when I asked, “Based on what exactly?”
“Based on you coming home the other night gushing about his opinion on your pictures, how his hair felt, how good he smelled, need I go on?”
“I don’t understand why you’re attacking me.”
“Oh hush,” Anika laughed, finishing up the last of the floor. “The truth is the truth – nobody is attacking you.”
“Then why does it feel that way?”
“I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it’s because you like him.”
“I don’t know him to like him,” I argued, following her down the hall to the bathroom to empty the mop bucket. Even as the words left my lips, they felt like a lie, as much as I didn’t want them to be.
The truth was that after being around him a whole three times, I liked him more than I should. Liked the back and forth, liked the flirtation, liked the… danger… of knowing that I shouldn’t be around him, but playing with that fire anyway.
I knew better.
For someone who claimed to not be interested in a “thing”, I found myself way too comfortable in his presence, talking and touching and if I was honest… seducing. I knew the effect I had on him – would have to be blind not to. But our vibe was so natural, so easy, that it felt impossible to pretend I didn’t want him.
So I didn’t.
He didn’t pretend either.
And something about the fact that we both knew what it was, what it could be, and still managed to play it cool made the whole thing more appealing to me. Like smelling the frosting on a cake you knew you couldn’t eat.
“Okay, so get to know him,” Nik suggested, coming to stand beside me in the mirror as I prepped my toothbrush, then went to work scrubbing my teeth. “When is the last time you did that? Have you ever done that? Let yourself get to know someone long enough to really like them?”
“What would I do that for?” I asked, around a mouthful of toothpaste, before I spit.
“Because you’re human, and humans crave companionship?”
I looked up from rinsing my mouth to shoot her a wink in the mirror. “Oh I get plenty of companionship. No worries there.”
“I don’t mean by-appointment dick.”
“There’s another kind?”
“Jules…”
“What?” I shrugged. “Seriously Nik, I’m not interested in making anything any more than what it already is. I’m happy. Okay?”
She poked out her lip. “So you’re saying you’re not going to let me live vicariously through you while he sweeps you away in a fairytale love story?”
“Sorry cuz,” I told her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Maybe one day, but for now, I’m trying to keep these legs closed. I don’t need anybody making me all emotional and shit. Starting a business is emotional enough.”
Anika groaned, then gave me a squeeze back before she moved to the door. “Okay. I guess I’ll accept that. But you’re paying at the coffee house.”
I laughed. “Fine, crazy ass. I should be ready in a few minutes.”
So it took several minutes instead of “a few”, but we were still well within breakfast hours when we headed out the door of the apartment. My back was turned to lock it behind us, so I didn’t realize Anika had stopped cold until I walked right into her, trying to get to the stairs.
“Uh, what’s wrong with you?” I asked, stepping around her to see the wide-eyed expression on her face.
She blinked, then shook her head, nervously adjusting the purse on her shoulder. “Uh… nothing. It’s just… our neighbors are back.”
“Neighbors?” I asked, and then as if I’d conjured them up, the door to the stairs opened, and two men came through. It was then that I noticed the open door across the hall from ours, which had to be what they were headed for.
Both were dressed casually – for moving, apparently, based on the boxes in their hands – but even with fitted caps pulled over their heads, one forward, one backward, I could tell they were fine. Like this neighborhood just spawned fine ass Black men.
And then I did a double-take at the one with his cap pulled forward, and my eyes went wide. “Josiah?”
He must’ve noticed me at the same time I noticed him, because his mouth spread into a wide grin as he approached. “Juliet Nichols. Damn it has been too long. How the hell did you get finer?”
I tried not to smile too hard as he dropped the boxes he was carrying to pull me into the kind of hug you only gave someone you used to sex and still wanted to. I hugged him back, because… accurate.
“Anika, you been holding down the fort?” his friend asked behind us. I pulled away from Josiah in time to see him step right up to Anika and kiss her temple, while she stood there grinning and blushing like a fool.
“Everything should be safe and sound,” she assured him, nodding eagerly. “But I thought you weren’t coming back until this Summer? How did the tour go?”
“It was lit, as expected,” Josiah told her, sauntering away from me to approach her as his friend stepped back. “But uh… Noble didn’t mention that the neighbors were baddies. Whassup man, why you holding out?”
“Uh… thanks I guess?” Anika responded, with a completely different energy than she’d given “Noble”. She was clearly not as impressed by caramel-skinned, hazel-eyed Josiah as I’d been… however many years ago. Noble, on the other hand, with his rich, pecan tone and high cheekbones was exactly her type. He was also vaguely familiar.
“So, can somebody fill me in on what’s happening right now?” I asked, stepping into the little circle they’d formed, now that Noble had put down his boxes inside the other apartment. “What is this?”
“Oh, sorry Jules,” Anika said, moving to stand beside me. “This is Noble. He is an amazing neo-soul singer, who happens to live across the hall from us now. He’s been away on tour. Small venues, cool cities.”
“You sure know how to make “hustling our way across the country trying to get noticed by the right people” sound good, Nik,” he told her, giving her another of those smiles that were like kryptonite for… well, everybody. I wanted him to stop smiling at her like that, especially with the way she grinned back.
“Just calling it like I see it. And this… his guitarist?” Anika asked, a question that I could answer myself.
“Yes, Josiah plays the guitar, among… other things,” I said, trying not to meet his eyes. If memory served, he was very good with his fingers. “We’ve actually met… back in Cali. A long time ago.”
“Too long ago,” he insisted, running his tongue over his lips. “And we did a lot more than meet, you—”
“So, you play for Noble, huh?” I asked, talking over him, not interested in the trip down memory lane. “Or are you like… a duo?”
Noble answered that. “A duo. Call ourselves “The Cure”… for whatever ails you. Problems with your man… an itch you need scratched… loneliness… a headache you need to go away.”
What kinda corny bullshit…
“Oh that’s cute,” I lied, then grabbed Nik’s hand. “Well, anyway, it was nice to meet you.”
Noble frowned. “We haven’t actually…”
“Oh! Sorry,” Nik chimed. “Guys, this is my cousin Jules. She is a photographer, and she just opened up across from Fresh Cuts.”
“So you finally went for it?” Josiah asked, nodding. “Nice.”
“Thanks. So, Nik and I are going to head out. Have a good day!”
“Jules, what the hell is your malfunction?!” Nik asked, pulling away from me as soon as I got us safely down the stairs, and through the bike shop door. On the street, the first thing I noticed was the sleek black SUV, doors open, speakers blasting a voice that sounded suspiciously like Josiah, sing-rapping lyrics about sex on a rooftop. “Oooh, that must’ve been what I heard this morning,” she mused, temporarily distracted. “But back to you – what is going on?”
I swallowed hard, glancing back at the bike shop before I grabbed her wrist, pulling her down the street before one of the guys came outside. “Okay… do you remember some years ago… maybe like five or six… me telling you about this guy who had me doing all kinds of craziness? Public sex, wearing nipple clamps to class, etc, etc?”
Nik stopped walking, her eyes going wide. “Ma’am. Are you serious? That guy is the reason you have an arrest for public nudity on your record? The one who barely let you out of bed enough to get all your graduation credits?”
“Yes,” I frowned. “And why are you saying “that guy” like that, as if Josiah West is not fine as hell?”
Her face pulled into a grimace. “I guess he’s aiight, but nothing like Noble. I don’t even understand why he’s with him – Noble is clearly the better artist.”
“Of course you’d say that, you have a crush on him. Or… have you already hit that?”
Nik waved me off immediately – too fast – as her face flushed. “No. I have not slept with Noble. We’re neighbors, can you imagine how awkward it would be? Especially if like things went bad. It’s best to just be neighbors, like we are. And besides, have you seen him? Or better yet, heard him? He can get anybody he wants – does get anybody he wants.”
“Okay but why are you acting as if you’re not good enough for him to want you?”
“I’m not acting like anything,” she argued, not meeting my eyes before she suddenly started walking again. “I mean, you saw that exchange. He didn’t even notice that I’d chopped all my hair off. Just… “Hey Anika, nobody broke in while I was gone, did they?” Because he’s not checking for me like that – which is fine.”
I sucked my teeth. “You’re damn right it’s fine! His loss,” I told her, weaving my arm through hers as we continued toward Urban Grind, side by side. “But hey… why does he look so familiar? And do not tell me it’s because of that wack-ass wannabe Bryson Tiller ass music, because that’s not it.”
“That’s so mean,” Anika scolded, but at least she laughed too. “But no, he uhh… he’s Royal’s little brother.”
My eyebrow went up. “Little? There was nothing little about him.”
“Younger,” she corrected. “Royal is like 34, Noble just turned 30. And then there’s the older cousin, Roman.”
“Ahh, the one who owns the coffee shop?”
“Right. Just a fine ass family.”
I grinned. “No argument from me there. Hey… you think people say that about us? Like damn, Jules and Anika look good, that must be a fine ass family.”
“Maybe so,” Anika giggled. “You just make sure you have that fine ass wallet out to pay for this coffee.”
I knew there would be tears.
That was why I’d avoided this for as long as I could, waiting nearly three weeks after I’d moved in with Nik to make this happen. But, I’d done the avoidance thing long enough, had worn out the little grace period I had, to the point that I had to just swallow it, and deal.
Aunt Darcy’s amazing fried chicken wings had certainly helped.
But I still just hated the tears.
As soon as I came through the door, they’d been waiting for me, with shy smiles that made guilt tug at my chest. I knew I was wrong, knew I should’ve come as soon as I got back to town, but that knowledge hadn’t been enough to overcome my aversion to the emotional display.
Aunt Darcy’s tight, tearful hug had just made my throat hurt from trying to hold back my own feelings, my own hurt that she was the one to have this reaction to my presence. The pride in Uncle Will’s eyes just reminded me that the person who should’ve looked at me that way, chose to view me in a vastly less appropriate light. Don’t get me wrong – I loved them, so much. But the fact that there was a reason to even have the relationship I did with my aunt and uncle made it hard to face them – to face most members of my family, honestly.
But Will, Darcy, and Anika were the ones who mattered.
So I swallowed nausea and the urge to run, and sat my ass down at their table for a meal. Because despite everything else, they’d been good to me – better to me than anyone else – and they deserved for me to act like it. I wasn’t an overly-emotional teenager anymore, running away to avoid difficult feelings. I was a grown woman now.
I could handle this.
“You’ve gotta let us know your schedule baby,” Aunt Darcy said, reaching across the table to put two more wings and a fat, flaky biscuit on my plate. “Me and your uncle want us some of those naked pictures to hang up in the bedroom.”
I almost choked on a mouthful of greens, hurriedly reaching for the big glass of lemonade she’d put down beside me to clear my throat. “Like boudoir? And you want me to take them?”
“Why not?” she shrugged, really not seeing the problem, as my Uncle kept his head down, tucking into his plate. “Will doesn’t have to be in them. Just me.”
That got his attention to look up enough, with a frown. “Wait a minute now! You’re cutting me out?”
“We both know I’m the fine one baby, hush,” Aunt Darcy said, reaching to pat her husband’s face.
“You lucky you got that wagon behind you woman,” he teased, making her blush a bit as she leaned, giving him room to say something in her ear that made her blush even harder.
“Mom, Dad, please,” Anika whined, stopping with a forkful of potato salad hovering just in front of her mouth. “I’m trying to eat.”
Aunt Darcy sucked her teeth. “Who stopping you baby? I know you’re not grossed out, how you think you got here? Your daddy been knowing how to get my—”
“O-kay!” I chimed. “If you guys really want that, I know another photographer I can recommend you to.”
As much as I’d been around their open displays of affection – and lust – for each other, I wasn’t sure I was the right fit to do those types of shots for them. Anika and I were both used to their lovey-dovey, handsy nature – hell, they were one of the reasons I had the teensy, tiny bit of faith I did in fidelity and marriage – but couple’s boudoir was a whole different ballgame. One I wasn’t playing with them.
“Oh fine then,” Aunt Darcy agreed, finally pulling away from what had nearly turned into an impromptu make-out session. “But I’m serious though, you get me that number.”
I nodded. “I will. But, any time you guys want some fully-clothed, look how much we love each other kinda pictures, you just let me know. And you guys have to come see the studio now that I’m nearly finished setting it up.”
“You tell us when, and we’re there baby girl,” Uncle Will said, grinning across the table. “We didn’t want to just pop up on you, but your Auntie was ready to bust up in there last week.”
“I sure was. Mmmhmm,” she nodded. “I’m glad you came around on your own, cause I would’ve had you mad at me.”
Putting down my fork, I smiled. “You know I can’t stay mad at you about anything Auntie.”
“Sure could’ve fooled me. That was the only good reason I could think of for you to not be there for my sister’s memorial service.”
“Darcy…” Uncle Will grunted, giving her a warning look that she ignored.
“Oh, I’m not saying anything wrong, Will. I understand she had a difficult relationship with Doreen, but I would think she would come to be there for me.”
I swallowed the food in my mouth as the table went quiet. “She’s right,” I told my Uncle, then shifted to my Aunt. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It was selfish of me, to not be there when you were hurting. I’m sorry. Really.”
“And you should’ve been there for you too,” Aunt Darcy insisted, eliciting quiet groans from Anika and Uncle Will, who knew what she apparently didn’t – that she was pushing too hard. “Maybe it would’ve been cathartic for you, a chance to explore your grief. Have you done anything to help with it? Talked to anybody about it?”
“Uh…” I looked at my plate instead of looking at her, stabbing at a stray lump of bacon from the greens. “Not really. You kinda have to feel something, to seek help for it.”
Aunt Darcy sighed. “Oh, Jules, baby. You don’t have to pretend not to feel anything—”
“I’m not pretending,” I said, stopping her. “She was your sister. You grew up with her, you loved her, she loved you. Your experience with her is totally different than mine, and you… you know what she did.”
“Of course I do.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “But sweetheart, forgiveness is so freeing, and it’s not even—”
“About her, I know. It’s about me. And I am fine. I already feel free, and I don’t have any grief to work through about it.”
“She was your mother.”
“No,” I snapped. “She was not.”
“Darcy,” Uncle Will said again, louder, firmer. This time, my aunt pressed her lips closed, saying nothing else about it.
Thankfully.
I gave my Uncle a grateful nod, and then chanced a glance over at Anika, who had her eyes on her plate. All it took was the tightness of her jawline to know that she was probably pissed at me for having a back and forth with her mother, but honestly… she was going to have to get over that. It wasn’t anybody’s place to tell me how to feel about this, or force me to talk about it.
Especially when Aunt Darcy knew what the situation between me and her sister was.
“Um… the yard looked really beautiful when we pulled up, Aunt Darcy,” I said, breaking the silence after a few minutes had passed. “Anika told me you’d done your landscaping, but it still took my breath away. Those purple dahlias are everything.”
A little smile crept onto Aunt Darcy’s face. She was serious about that front yard. “You really think so?”
“She does,” Anika spoke up, grinning a little herself. “She actually squealed when we pulled up.”
After that, Aunt Darcy was outright beaming again. “Well, thank you baby. Your uncle purchased some space for me in a big greenhouse, just outside the city. They have different temperature zones set up, and you can go out there and grow whatever you want! I grew my dahlias and hydrangeas out there and then transplanted them. And I’m using a new fertilizer for the roses.”
“Well your effort really shows. It looks amazing.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Uncle Will said, looking at Aunt Darcy with another of those lusty gazes like no one else was in the room. “I told you, you were good enough to do this professionally.”
“Professionally?” Anika and I asked, at the same time, and Aunt Darcy looked a little flustered as she turned to us.
“Well… Will and I were talking, and I’ve been thinking about… maybe starting my own little business. A little boutique landscaping company or something, you know?”
“Mama, that would be awesome,” Anika gushed. “And, hey – you know Roman’s wife owns Posh Petals, right? I bet you could talk to her about sourcing for your plants, or even about wedding venues who might want permanent landscaping done.”
I nodded. “That would probably be really, really cool. Have you thought about your name yet?”
“Or a website?”
“Oooh! I could take pictures for the website for you,” I added, earning an excited, “yes, exactly!” from Anika.
But. Aunt Darcy held up her hands, urging us to calm down. “It’s still early, girls. Just an idea. But I appreciate how excited you are – it helps convince your Uncle to invest in me when it’s time to take it further.”
Uncle Will scoffed. “Woman please, everybody at this table knows you can have everything in my wallet. Especially if you keep frying this chicken like this.”
“Oh hush,” she told him, as Nik and I laughed. “Oh, Jules – speaking of investing in people’s passions, hold on.”
I watched her as she stood up, rushing off somewhere. I had a feeling of what was about to happen, especially when I noticed that both Anika and Uncle Will were suddenly looking nervous.
Sure enough, when Aunt Darcy came back, there was a check-sized envelope in her hands. I took it when she handed it to me and sat back down to watch as I opened.
I was already shaking my head when I saw her and Uncle Will’s name printed at the top of the personal check, dated for the day I’d arrived in Mahogany Heights. “You guys really, really didn’t have to do this,” I told them, pausing for a moment before I pulled the check the rest of the way out. My eyes went so wide it hurt for a second as my gaze fell on the amount of the check. I’d expected a few thousand dollars, because that was just the way they were, but there were… too many zeroes. “What is… what is this?” I asked, an uncomfortable feeling in my chest.
And from the expressions around the table, there was some discomfort there too, and Uncle Will was the one to speak up.
“We know it’s more than you were probably expecting to see when we handed it to you,” he started, in an overly-soothing tone that let me know I wasn’t about to like what was next. “And it’s more than we’d be able to do anyway… if Doreen hadn’t had a life insurance policy. Your Auntie was one of the beneficiaries, so… we were able to do this for you.”
I nodded, blinking back tears. “I probably don’t need to even ask who the other beneficiary was, do I?”
“Jules…” Aunt Darcy said, using the same soothing tone as Uncle Will, while on the other side of me, Anika grabbed my hand.
But I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. It’s fine. I get it. You’re… doing what you always do, trying to make up for her. That’s what this is, right? A check for the money she “should’ve” left me. I get it, guys.”
“Jules, baby…” Aunt Darcy stood up, approaching the side of my chair to put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s not about making up for her. It’s about doing the right thing, period. And the right thing is for you to use this money to help make your dream come true. Okay?”
I’d rather shred it to tiny pieces and light it on fire.
“Okay Auntie,” I said, instead of spewing what was actually on my mind, because she didn’t deserve that. I stood up, pulling her into a hug and choking back my disgust enough to bring up the real gratefulness I felt to her and my Uncle Will. Not just about this check, but because of exactly what she said – their constant efforts to “do right” by me, since the people who should’ve… wouldn’t.
Luckily for me, Anika had to go to work for an afternoon shift, so pretty soon after that, we were able to get away.
“Thank you for being cool about the check thing,” Anika said, once we were closed inside my Jeep for the twenty-minute drive back to Mahogany Heights. Her words confirmed what I suspected – that she knew about it and hadn’t warned me, but I couldn’t blame her. If I’d known about the tainted money currently buried at the bottom my purse, I probably wouldn’t have come.
I didn’t respond other than to squeeze her hand back when she squeezed mine, and it was enough. Anika knew the full, ugly depths of what that visit with her parents had stirred in me, had witnessed that trauma from the beginning, so she was gracious enough to just let me be, even once we made it home. I crawled into bed and went to sleep, just to avoid thinking or feeling or hell… being. Even if it was only for a few moments.
A few moments turned into a few hours, and I woke up with the sun having gone down, in an empty apartment. Darcy and Will had sent us home with plenty of leftovers that could’ve soothed the hunger pangs that hit as soon as I was upright, but I was in the mood for something even more comforting than Aunt Darcy’s fried chicken.
Something sweet.
I washed up and threw on some athleisure gear, opting for comfort overlooking cute. My hair went up in a high puff, and I grabbed my bag to leave, heading straight for the storefront I’d been avoiding after Anika’s warning.
One of those honeybuns from f.w.b. sounded like exactly what I needed.
My stomach started rumbling as soon as I stepped inside, obviously eager to get filled with whatever was permeating the air with that mouth-watering smell. I wasn’t surprised that there was a line, but I was a little sad about it, and so was my damn stomach. My impatience drew my eyes to the walls of the bakery, taking in the cute artwork that lined the walls. Still in line, I turned a bit, following the path of the imagery.
A path that led me right to Troy, sitting off in a quiet corner booth to himself.
Immediately, my heart started racing. His back was to me, and his head was down, probably looking at his phone or something. I didn’t have to go say anything – he hadn’t even seen me. And hell, even if he had, it’s not like I was required to seek him out every time we ran into each other.
But the thing was… I wanted to go talk to him.
There was no denying that I felt insanely good walking away from every interaction I’d had with him. And after the emotional mess of that lunch, the time I’d spent in tears once I was alone, and how I felt now… I could use a little of the way he made me feel.
The decision was pretty easy.
I stepped out of line and went straight for him, not considering until I was halfway there that he could’ve been meeting someone. My footsteps faltered over that thought, but I kept going, telling myself that I could easily just cut the conversation short and move on, if necessary. Still though… my steps slowed as I got close.
Peeking over his shoulder, my eyes landed on the picture he was looking at on his phone – one of Storm tolerating being held by a gorgeous, caramel-skinned little girl with a mass of brown curls. He swiped his thumb across the screen, to a picture that was almost identical – just a different angle – and I smiled when I realized what he was doing.
“Is she yours?” I asked, getting his attention with the question. He flinched a little, caught off guard before he turned, eyes coming up to meet mine.
“Nah, my friend’s little girl. He brought her to the shop earlier. Why are you sneaking up on me?”
I shook my head. “My bad, I didn’t mean to bother you. Just wanted to say hello.”
“You’re not bothering me,” he said, grabbing my hand before I could walk off, embarrassed. He used his hold to pull me in front of him. “I just wasn’t expecting you over my shoulder. I used your tips, to take pictures of Storm and Bell. They actually turned out pretty good.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I saw. I’m glad it worked for you.”
“Me too. So… when is my next lesson?”
My teeth grabbed at the inside of my lip, nervously chewing as I considered my response – a sensation that was a little baffling to me. I chalked it up to my irregular emotional state, and pushed another smile to my face. “Uh… whenever you want, I guess.”
Instead of responding to that, Troy’s eyes narrowed a little, like he was trying to figure something out. “You want to sit down?” he asked, which struck me a little out of the blue, but I nodded anyway. As soon as I’d slid into the space across from him in the booth, he leaned over the table. “Hey… what’s wrong?”
Immediately, I frowned. “What?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know… you’re just really low key right now, not like the Jules I’ve met these other times. And… your eyes and nose are pretty red… like you’ve been crying.”
“Oh God, I knew I should’ve put some makeup on,” I whined, immediately dropping my head. “I should go.”
“Nah,” he said, and then slid out of the booth to come to my side. “Scoot over,” he said, and I did, giving him room to slide in beside me, smelling good enough to rival the aroma of baked goods. “What’s up? One of these knuckleheads around here piss you off?”
I laughed. “If only it were that simple.”
“Rarely is.” He fixed me with that penetrating gaze that was so hard to look away from, especially when he leaned in a little more to ask, “You want to talk about it?”
My eyes dropped to the polished table top. “No. Maybe.”
Whatever he was going to say in response was interrupted by the arrival of a plate of… heaven. It was a honeybun alright, but it was the size of the large plate it was on, drizzled with layers of icing and pecans. My internal drooling must’ve translated to my expression, because Troy chuckled, then asked the server to bring a second fork.
“What?” I asked, shaking off my little dessert-induced trance. “You don’t have to do that. I can order my own, so you don’t have to share.”
He shrugged. “I insist. You’d be doing me a favor. Nobody needs to eat a whole one of these in one sitting.”
I sucked my teeth. “Jokes on you, because now that I’ve seen it, I plan on ordering two of these to take home.”
“Ah damn,” he laughed. “It must be really bothering you then. Whatever this is that you don’t, but maybe do, want to talk about.”
Instead of playing it off, I nodded. “Yeah, actually. It is.”
“Aiight then, well,” he said, then accepted the extra fork from the server to hand to me. “Eat, and talk.”
I ate, but didn’t talk.
At least, not at first. At first, we ate in relative silence, with me devouring much more than I intended, but still barely making a dent. And for his part, Troy minded his business. He glanced at me a few times, but said nothing, just… waited. That patience, and the quiet comfort of his company was what made me loosen my tongue.
“My aunt and uncle gave me a check today,” I said quietly, sitting back against the cushioned leather of the booth. “A really big check.”
He gave me a deep nod. “Okay. Most people would be pretty excited about that.”
“Yeah, but… the money is from my… mother,” I said, only because I didn’t care to explain why I didn’t think she deserved to be called that. “Well… technically. She didn’t want to give me anything, but they decided I should have it.”
“So… they made her write it?” he asked, and I shook my head.
“No. She died. Left them the money.”
“But nothing for you?”
“No…,” I whispered. “Not a thing. Not that I was expecting anything. We hadn’t spoken since I was sixteen years old.”
Troy’s eyes went wide. “Oh. Damn.”
“Exactly.”
There was silence between us for a moment before he leaned over, nudging my shoulder with his. “Hey… so what makes a sixteen-year-old stop speaking to her mother?”
His question brought the tears I’d been trying to hold back to the forefront, and I quickly swiped my thumbs under my eyes, wiping them away. “Um… I didn’t stop speaking to her. She stopped speaking to me. And… I don’t want to talk about more than that right now.”
“Okay. You don’t have to.”
I pushed out a deep breath, knowing how crazy I probably looked and sounded. This man had come here to … eat five thousand calories worth of pastry, not sit with me while I cried about shit from more than ten years ago. And just when I thought there was no way I seemed like anything other than a complete mess, I felt his arms around me, pulling me into him for a hug.
And it was glorious.
I shamelessly tucked my face into his neck, but I had just enough restraint not to break into sobs like I wanted. Closing my eyes, I inhaled his cologne, and indulged myself in the soothing strength of his arms for a few moments before I pulled back. Before I had to pull back, because my body hadn’t caught the memo about this not being a good time for hard nipples or heat between my legs.
“Okay, go back over there,” I said, nudging him away from me. He frowned for a second, but then did as I asked, returning to his original seat with confusion playing across his face. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I shrugged. “Letting me talk. Sharing your honeybun. That hug.”
“You don’t have to thank me for any of that. And I thought the hug was too much, since you kicked me off your side of the booth…”
“No,” I shook my head. “It wasn’t that at all. I needed it.”
His lips spread into a smile. “Well, in that case, you’re welcome. You feel a little better?”
“I actually do. I’m still about to go get in this line and order one of these bad boys to take home with me,” I told him, gesturing at the unfinished honeybun.
“Well, actually…” he moved to the end of the booth, glancing around it as the same server from before approached the table with a box in his hand. He and Troy exchanged a short fist bump, before he handed over the box, and Troy turned back to me with a grin. “Already got you taken care of, mama.”
I had to catch myself to keep my mouth from dropping open. “I… what? Are you serious? When…?”
“When you were all quiet earlier, when we were eating. I had a feeling, so I used their little online service to order up another for you to take.”
I gotta get out of here.
“Well, at least let me pay you for it,” I insisted, only to be met with a firm headshake I wasn’t about to even try to argue. I knew he wasn’t going to budge. “Thank you. Really.”
“Not a problem. I hope you feel better.”
“I will,” I told him as I stood up, grabbing the box to take with me. “See you around?”
He grinned. “We always manage, don’t we?”
I headed toward the door with a bounce in my step, willing myself not to look back. As I pushed it open to leave though, I couldn’t help myself. When my eyes met his, letting me know he’d turned all the way around to watch… butterflies erupted in my chest.
I gave him one last smile, feeling so good that not even getting the stink eye from some woman in line, some woman I didn’t even know, made my good vibe falter. I just smiled at her too as I left, and went on about my way.