CHAPTER SIX

Father

My heels clicked against the tile floor of the long, sterile hallway. I didn’t want to be here. He wasn’t worth my breath, but my father had to possess some answers for me. There was no way he could have been under Victoria’s influence and been completely unaware.

Marco’s soothing touch rubbed my lower back as we approached the door. I stopped just in front of the guard and turned to face Marco. A long, lingering sigh left my lips.

He brushed the hair out of my face. “You can do this. You are stronger than you believe, and if need be, you can borrow my faith in you.” His lips were warm against my forehead. I closed my eyes, inhaled a deep, cleansing breath, and opened them before turning toward the guard.

“Hi, I’m Elaine Watkins, here to see Daniel Simon Watkins.”

“ID,” the man requested with a stern, unwavering expression.

I reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet exposing my ID for him to see as my eyes assessed his crisp, blue uniform and the gun holstered on his hip. He looked over the card and held out his hand, palm up. “I need your right thumbprint to verify we have all of your identification on record.”

“I can assure you do. That first week after my father was arrested, I visited him every day. I was fingerprinted then.” I didn’t mean to be so difficult but my nerves were getting the better of me.

The guard pursed his lips, clearly aggravated by my refusal to comply, and pointed at the fingers I had clutched around my wallet. “Procedure ma’am. Your thumb please.”

I extended my hand. It was maximum security after all.

He guided my thumb to an electronic pad on the counter and rolled it from side to side across the screen, and watched my print appear on the computer display in front of him. Sure beat the old ink prints. The computer beeped.

The security guard rounded the counter and nodded, gesturing for me to move forward. When Marco shifted to follow me, the guard placed a hand on his arm. “You’ll have to stay here sir.”

Marco grabbed my hand. “It will be OK, bella. I’ll be right here, waiting.” He squeezed my hand and leaned in for a quick kiss.

I swallowed hard and entered the room through the door the security guard held open for me. The room was empty except for a chair positioned in the middle of the floor and…my father. I didn’t dare look at him, but instead, scanned the room until my eyes landed on the back of his head reflected in a two-way mirror that lined the back wall.

A few steps forward and the heavy steel door slammed closed behind me. I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans. No one should be this nervous visiting their parent. But then again, not everyone had to visit his or her father in a maximum-security prison.

“Elaine, sweetheart! God, I’ve missed you.”

I folded my arms, still unable to look at him. “Please, don’t… Just don’t.”

“I know you’ll never forgive me, but I still love you. Gretchen too. How is she? Is she still feeling all right?”

My words caught in my throat. I wished for the ability to compartmentalize him. To only know the side that he once showed me, the man who woke up each morning and poured milk on my Cheerios, followed by a kiss on my cheek. Every daughter should love her father, right? Yet this man’s actions had made it impossible for me to love him anymore.

My eyes wandered over the black and white tiled floor to his black boots and orange jumpsuit covered legs. I stared at the shackles fastened around his ankles and at the chain securing them to a thick, metal loop lodged in the floor. No one should have to see their father like this. I took a deep breath and tried to push the self-pity aside. “You don’t deserve to know about Gretchen.”

“I know.” Remorse laced his words, but I knew better.

“We might as well stop pretending I’m here for a social visit, and let me get to the point. Who is Victoria England?”

“Why don’t you at least sit down?”

“No.” I remained standing by the door, my arms crossed. I still had not ventured a look at his face. The hum of the air conditioner and the musty smell of the discolored ceiling tiles added to my anxiety. His voice alone caused the pit of my stomach to churn. “Answer the question.”

“She was my doctor.” His voice was unwavering. Matter of fact.

“When did you start seeing her?”

The chains rattled as he shifted in his chair. “Right after your mother died. I tried to be strong for you and your sister, but her death nearly killed me.”

I couldn’t help but think how many lives might have been saved had he been in the car instead of my mother.

“I got a referral to her from Doc Beckum. She’s a psychologist. I never told you, because I needed to seem strong for you and Gretchen. I didn’t want you to know how weak I was.”

“Are you sure she didn’t supply any other services?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking. She gave me medication and we talked through my grief. That’s about it.”

Anger flared from within; I knew there had to be more to his story. Surely, he had to know her game. My moment of rage caused me to look at him. My breathing halted. He was thinner than I remembered, and his hair was cut close to his scalp. His orange jumpsuit and shackles erased all of the images I had of him in the JC Penney suits he’d worn for work, and the dark-rimmed glasses that’d made him look like a kindly schoolteacher.

“You didn’t carry out any side jobs for her, did you?” I glanced up at the cameras monitoring the room, and a thought occurred to me. If I could get him to confess to her involvement, what the authorities might do to her would make things a little easier for me. I didn’t choose to join that damned Society, so the most dangerous thing about me was that I couldn’t give a fuck about their rules.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. What’s your issue with Dr. England?”

“Did she make you kill those women?” I pleaded with him with my eyes. Not only did I want to fuck-up Snake Bitch’s plans, but also deep down I wanted it to be true—for him to have some redeemable quality. For him to have been a victim of their games and not the monster I saw him as now.

“You think Dr. England made me a hunter?”

Tears appeared at the corner of my eyes. “A hunter? You aren’t a hunter, you’re a psychopath.” I glanced up at the ceiling, licking my dry lips and fighting back tears. “Why did I even come here? Why did I honestly think you’d answer my questions? God, why do I keep hoping there is an ounce of compassion in you?”

“There’s my Elaine. I love you. I’ll help you in any way I can. I just… I… I don’t know how to help you.”

I swallowed hard, reminding myself that his sincerity came wrapped in a very scary package. “Victoria England. I need to understand. Did any of your sessions ever seem strange? Did she ask you to do things you didn’t feel right about?” The moment the words left my mouth, I realized just how stupid they were. How would he even know? If he could recognize right from wrong, he wouldn’t be here. He would never have done the things he did, with or without the Society’s influence. I’d still have my family. I would never have agreed to Dr. Vincent’s proposal. That thought gave me pause. Declining his tryst would have saved me the Society and the horrors that followed, but did I want to wish away my time with the complicated man? I loved him, that much was true, but would I survive the baggage that came with him? My father’s words broke through my musing.

“I don’t know what you think happened. Remember when I used to drop you and Gretchen off at soccer practice on Wednesday nights? That’s when I scheduled my appointments with her.”

“Yes, just another thing you kept from us.”

“That’s not fair.”

His words caused something inside me to shatter. “Fair? You have no right to talk about fairness.” I clenched my fists at my side and stared directly at him, too furious to avoid a glimpse of the demon that I knew lurked inside him. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to my life? You’ve ruined my career. I can never work in PR again as long as I’m the daughter of a serial killer. You’ve tainted every happy memory I had of my childhood. You’ve stolen my ability to fully trust anyone, leaving me to always linger in a sea of doubt. Don’t ever speak to me about fair.”

“You were never supposed to know.”

“Right. That’s been your defense all along. Somehow, this is my fault. I saw the missing persons notice for the woman you dined with at that hotel flash on the TV screen in my hotel room, and I was supposed to say nothing. What? Was I supposed to be a good girl and stay out of daddy’s business? Please… As much as I hate you for what you did to those women, I hate you more for making me feel guilty for turning you in. This is completely pointless.” I shook my head and turned my back to him.

“Elaine,” he called, forcing me to hesitate. “Did you keep anything from the house?”

“What the hell does it matter? You’re never going to see any of it again.”

“I was wondering if you or Gretchen were able to keep your mother’s old wardrobe? Remember the tall one we kept in the guest room?”

“Gretchen has it, but you should know that. You helped her move it into her apartment.”

“You might want to ask her if you can have it. Your mother intended it for you.”

I turned around and stared at him. “Thanks for telling me now… I mean, how many years has it been?”

“She really wanted you to have it.”

“Look, it’s at Gretchen’s for safe keeping. She needs the extra closet space at school. That’s why we took it there in the first place. I don’t even have an apartment, so—”

“What happened to your apartment? Where are you staying? You’re not homeless, are you?”

“No, I’m not homeless. I’m living with someone.”

“Sweetheart, that’s great. Does he treat you well? That’s the most important thing.”

I laughed. “Yes…well…compared to my father he doesn’t exactly have to stretch very far to surpass my expectations.”

“I never mistreated you or your sister.”

“Yeah, that’s right. You didn’t. You just killed people. Well, you don’t have to worry, daddy dearest. Remember the good looking doctor that discovered the cure for Gretchen’s cancer?”

“Yes, Dr. Vincent.”

“Well, that’s who I’m staying with.”

His brow furrowed. “You’re living with Xavier Vincent?”

“Yes.”

“Elaine, I don’t think that’s a good idea. He might be charismatic and good looking, but he’s not for you.”

I raised an eyebrow. Why would he care? “I don’t think you get to make that call. And could you be any more offensive? What? You don’t think I’m good enough?”

“Elaine… That’s not what I meant. I’m serious.” He glanced around and stared up at the security camera. “You need to get away from him.”

“Why? Is he a serial killer?”

“No. But he’s connected to some very…dangerous people.”

Now we were getting somewhere. “Like Victoria England?”

Worry lines appeared on his face. “Just get out of there. Thank him and leave.”

“Why are you so upset? What do you know about his associates?”

“Elaine…please… There is nothing I can tell you. Go see my attorney. He can help you find a new place.”

“Tell me what you know.”

“I know that I love my daughter, and I want what’s best for her. A man like that can’t be trusted.”

I laughed again, the sarcastic edge biting. “What’s best for me? You can’t be serious. What was best for me was to have a father who didn’t chop women into pieces. That would have been helpful.”

“As I’ve told you, I’m sorry. I had my reasons. It’s not something I will ever make you understand. You know where my attorney’s office is, right?”

I rolled my eyes and huffed. “Are you going to tell me what you know, or not?”

“Elaine, there’s nothing to tell you. Just rumors. But better safe than sorry.” He glanced up at the camera again.

“My serial killer father is advising me to leave one of the most influential men of our time, one who saved his own daughter from cancer, because there are rumors he might be associated with dangerous people. That’s priceless.”

The door clicked and the guard looked in. “Time’s up ma’am.”

“Elaine, call my attorney, please. He can help you. And tell Gretchen that she needs to give you the wardrobe. Your mother wanted you to have it. She knew how much you enjoyed playing in it as a child. Remember how you used to empty out all of the clothes, thinking that it led to Narnia?”

I paused. The memory caused an ache in my chest. My mother used to feign frustration, but even as a child I knew she enjoyed my wide-eyed creativity. It almost made me smile, until I considered the source of the words. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

“I love you, Elaine.”

I walked through the doorway, bumping against the guard on his way into the room. Marco immediately wrapped me in his arms. The door slammed shut behind me.

He kissed the top of my head. “Bella, are you OK?”

I sighed, trying to will away the tears. “What a waste of time. He knew more than he was saying, but won’t tell me. He had a visceral reaction to Xavier that doesn’t make sense unless he knows more.”

“Xavier?”

“Yeah, he told me to leave him. That he’s associated with dangerous people. It only makes my suspicion about his association with Victoria more plausible.” What had that evil bitch done to him? Had she made him into what he was on purpose? Or had he always been a sociopath? Either way, I didn’t have time to dwell on it. “Let’s get out of here.”

Marco draped his arm around my shoulder and led me out of the prison. I couldn’t have my father far enough away from me. My pace was frantic as I made my way to our vehicle. Marco said my name softly, but the tears I fought would win if I slowed down.

When I reached the SUV, I stood with my arms crossed over my knotted stomach, my knees shaking, trying to hold myself together. With my hand on the door handle, I waited for Marco to unlock the SUV.

His arms encircled me. “Bella, look at me.”

“This is hard, Marco. I can’t.”

“Of course it’s hard. What that man put you through is inexcusable. But unlike when it happened, you’re not alone.”

The tears escaped, and I sniffled. “It’s not fair to burden you with any of this. This isn’t what you signed on for.”

His hands gripped my waist, twisting me, forcing me to face him.

I stared at his chest not wanting him to see my tear-filled eyes.

With one finger, he lifted my chin. “It most certainly is what I signed on for.” His mouth covered mine in a soft and comforting kiss. He released my lips with reluctance. “I’m not just here for the sex, bella.” He chuckled softly before continuing, “Not that it isn’t the most incredible sex of my life and would certainly be worth staying for.” A rumble of suppressed laughter escaped his chest a moment before his expression turned serious again. “There is so much more in this for me.” He cupped my cheek with his hand. “I watched what you did for X, and now Sebastian. How you asked for nothing in return, but gave all of yourself to us. I could spend my entire life looking for someone just like you and end up a fool, when I could have had you all along. Why would I take that risk?”

I swallowed, trying to choke back a sob. “But don’t you want someone who is only yours?”

“I might, if you didn’t have a heart big enough to love us all.” He wiped a tear from my face. “I’m not insecure, bella. I’ve dated plenty of women. One-third of your passion is more than what most are willing to give. Many are self-absorbed. You…you give of yourself, but are strong enough to never allow anything to be taken. It’s that strength wrapped in your ability to heal that makes you so unique.” He smiled and searched my eyes. “I can tell by the way you’re looking at me that you don’t see yourself the way I do, but that’s what I see, and I’m not about to give it up. I love you.”

“But…”

He placed a finger on my lips. “If you won’t accept that explanation, which is entirely true by the way, I’ll give you another reason.” A wicked grin pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Do you have a favorite book? One you’ve read over and over again?”

I nodded.

He removed his finger from my lips. “What’s the first thing you do when you’re finished reading the book—not just any book, your all-time favorite?”

A perplexed expression wrinkled my features. Where was he going with this? “I don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you what I do.” He smiled. “I tell the world, especially my closest friends. We then discuss the book, allowing us to share that experience. Every conversation, every new insight makes me love the book even more. Now imagine if you could read your favorite book, but no one else was allowed to read it. You couldn’t share with anyone. It would still be good, but your passion would be stifled. Not to mention the instant bond created between people who love the same book. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Yes.” I did understand. When Xavier asked me to tell him about my time alone with Sebastian, telling him the details had heightened the experience. Made me feel closer to both of them. But I wanted Marco to be certain. “But—”

“No objections. There is nothing else for you to say. Just accept my love, my devotion, get in the SUV, and tell me where we’re going.” He swatted my ass.

My mouth gaped open.

“You can tell me all about what your father said once we’re inside.”

“You make statements like that and…”

“And what? You want me to stand around and listen to all the reasons why I’m wrong? I’m not. I think you sometimes underestimate me, bella. I’m as smart as Xavier, but without the troubled childhood to make me bat-shit crazy. I love the man, but his past impairs his judgment. Me, on the other hand, I have none of that to contend with. My decisions are sound. Maybe not based on the same American principles your suburban upbringing engrained in you, but I’m confident in my choices. I will not allow you the opportunity to try to dissuade me. You’re just going to have to deal with me loving you. You’ll either return the sentiment someday, or you won’t. I like surprises. I have no problem waiting to find out.” He slipped past me and opened the SUV door. “Get in, you can stew on the way if you want.”

I shook my head, sighed, and let out an exasperated chuckle. “You don’t lose too many arguments, do you?”

“One is always the victor when they refuse to be a participant in a losing battle.”

I slid across the leather seat of his SUV.

Moments later, he took his place in the driver’s seat and started the engine. “Where to?”

“We’re going to pay my father’s attorney, Craver Adams, a visit.”

“Sounds like an excellent place to start.”