Nine

The whispered sound of Anna’s voice broke through the silence of the hospital chapel. Luke sat quietly in a pew, keeping his eyes trained on Anna as she lit a candle for her brother. She was praying with everything she had that God would spare his life after his heart had stopped briefly a few hours before.

A day ago, he might have scoffed at the idea that God was listening, but then Anna walked into his life, and now he wasn’t sure. The way she reached inside and touched his hardened heart, making him come alive for the first time in years, felt more like divine intervention than fate.

As he watched Anna, he realized he was in a chapel much like the one he’d sat in more than four years ago when he himself begged for Matthew’s life. Had he come full circle? Was God finally answering him? And if so, what was the message?

Anna turned her tear-soaked eyes in his direction, and he couldn’t help but notice the dark circles underneath. It was closing in on ten, and she needed sleep.

His growing need to protect her in every way had him standing and holding out his hand to her. “Let’s get you to a hotel so you can rest.”

“I can’t leave. What if something happens while I’m gone?” Her eyes looked panicked as she tugged on her coat.

“Anna, they only let you in for ten minutes every two hours, and visiting hours don’t start again until ten a.m. There’s a Marriot within walking distance of the front of the hospital. We can leave your cell number with the nurses, and they’ll call you if his condition changes.”

She bit her bottom lip, uncertain, looking younger and more fragile than he’d seen her.

Christ, she’s killing me.

“Baby, look at me.” She raised her head but looked at his shoulder. “Hey,” he said a little louder until her eyes met his. “You won’t be any good to him if you’re exhausted, and right now, you’re running on fumes. Take my hand and let me care of you.” She hesitated for a moment, then nodded and reached out to take his hand.

He led her back to the ICU so she could check on her brother one last time before leaving. The nurses took pity on her, since it was after visiting hours, and allowed her to visit Gregg. Luke had a bad feeling it was because they didn’t think he’d last through the night after his heart had stopped.

He stood outside the room and listened as she held her brother’s hand.

“I need you to wake up, Gregg,” she said very sternly as tears fell. “You’re not a quitter. You didn’t quit fighting when you were born addicted to drugs. You didn’t quit fighting when you had trouble learning to read. And you certainly didn’t quit fighting when Jenny Stevens refused to go out with you our junior year.”

Luke’s eyes turned to the heart monitor as it began to beep a little faster. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear Gregg could hear Anna talking.

“You owe me for leaving town during my first Christmas back home. So suck it up and open your eyes.”

The monitor beeped faster yet again, and Anna looked at it, then back at Luke. He could see the hope in her eyes, so he nodded, smiling at her. She continued in that vein, browbeating him to wake up, until a nurse told them it was time to leave.

While she spoke with the nurses’ station, letting them know where she would be, he put in a call to the Marriot. Thankfully, they had a room available. He didn’t ask if they had two. He had no intention of being more than a few feet away from her until Gregg’s survival was guaranteed. She could argue with him if she wanted, but it would do no good. He was her shadow for the duration.

Her brother’s friend Darryl was waiting for her to finish. The man didn’t hide his feelings for Anna—or his aggressive nature toward Luke, for that matter. It was written in every line of his body when she was in the room, so he kept a close eye on him. When the big man approached her after she was through speaking with the nurse, pulling her to an alcove, away from prying eyes, Luke pushed off the wall he’d been leaning against and headed in their direction.

“You can send him home, Anna. I’ll take you back to Tulsa,” Darryl mumbled, raising a hand to touch her hair.

Anna’s head jerked to the side to avoid being touched, and Luke quickened his pace.

“I appreciate all you’ve done for Gregg,” Anna said in a stilted voice, “but I’ll be fine. Maybe you should head back to St. Louis.”

“I’m not leaving you alone with this guy,” Darryl bit out, his voice carrying across the room. “I knew his name sounded familiar. It’s the guy Gregg hit a few days ago. Jesus Christ, Anna, you don’t know this asshole from Adam. What the fuck are you doing with him? And why the hell are his hands all over you?”

Anna’s face blanched at his tone just as Luke arrived. “You need to calm yourself,” Luke growled.

“And you need to get in your vehicle and leave her the hell alone, or I’ll make you.”

Anna gasped. “Leave,” she bit out. “Leave and don’t come back.”

Luke stepped in front her, putting himself between Anna and Darryl. “You heard the lady.”

He could feel Anna’s hands clutching the back of his shirt, and they were trembling.

“You think you can come between her and me?” Darryl asked in a voice full of rage.

It was neither the time nor the place for a confrontation, so Luke raised his hands in a cease-fire, ready to step back to keep the peace in the ICU. But Darryl saw the move as a potential assault, and lunged at Luke, grabbing his collar. He could tell by the man’s eyes that he was on the edge. Someone would get hurt if Luke didn’t calm the situation, but he needed Anna safe first.

“Anna, get to the nurses’ station,” Luke ordered before Darryl lost it completely. She didn’t hesitate to listen, darting past them in a wide arc to keep out of the crazed man’s reach.

Darryl kept hold of Luke’s collar, ignoring the hushed voices of the other visitors in the waiting room.

“You need to leave!” Darryl thundered, his control slipping further.

“I’m here as long as Anna wants me.”

The color in Darryl’s face rose to a pale shade of lethal, and Luke braced. He’d take the man down if he had to, but he’d rather no shots were fired, not with Gregg twenty feet away fighting for his life.

Then, just as quickly as the man erupted, his demeanor changed, swinging from hostile to clam, like a man on drugs. He shoved Luke back, mumbling, “You’re not worth it.” But it wasn’t in time to avoid hospital security from observing the aggression. They had Darryl strong-armed within moments, asking Luke, “Do you want to press charges?”

Luke shook his head. “Just make sure he leaves and doesn’t come back.”

Anna watched from a distance as they slapped cuffs on Darryl, then she moved to Luke’s side as hospital security took him to the service elevators and disappeared. Once they were gone, she looked over at Luke with an expression of pure indignation. “And he wonders why I won’t go out with him?”

Luke couldn’t help himself. He threw his head back and laughed.

The stillness of the night wrapped around them as they made their way across the hospital parking lot. The air was crisp, the hint of snow threatening. Luke kept an eye out for Darryl as they passed a pine tree, its limbs heavy with snow. Anna paused at the tree and touched the branches.

“It’s Christmas soon,” she whispered. “I’d forgotten. I’d meant to put a tree up today.”

“I noticed you hadn’t decorated.”

“I didn’t see the need with Gregg out of town, but I wanted a small pine tree for my parents’ ornaments.”

Luke stepped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “How long have your parents been gone?”

“Mom died six years ago from breast cancer,” she answered, brushing snow from a lower branch. “Dad followed her four years later from a stroke. This was going to be my first Christmas in Tulsa since he died.”

He could hear the longing in her voice. The wanting of a past that was no longer there, along with the uncertainty about her future.

“Let’s get our bags and get you settled,” he mumbled, a plan forming in his mind, then he kissed the top of her head and led her to his SUV.

I sat numbly on the bed, trying to erase the image of Gregg’s body convulsing with shock, and brushed the tangles from my wet hair. Then my mind wandered to Darryl and his irrational behavior, and I shuddered. I’d never seen him that angry.

I’d taken a shower to try and relax from the trauma of the day, and when I emerged from the bathroom, Luke was gone. I should have been nervous about sharing a room with him, but I was too keyed up with worry to care. Which was good, because in my haste to get on the road, I’d packed my mother’s flannel PJs. If Luke had harbored any thoughts of us sleeping together, my PJs would stop him cold in his tracks.

My brows creased with the thought. How could I even think about sex, when my brother lay fighting for his life a few hundred yards away?

“And I called him a deviant,” I mumbled to the quiet room.

Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV. It was set on a local news channel. The station had decided to leave up a Santa Sighting app to alert children in the Springfield area. According to the app, Santa was within a few hundred miles and closing fast.

I smiled, thinking back to my own childhood and the way Gregg and I had tried to stay awake for the jolly old elf. We never caught him in the act, of course, but the memories of a better time eased my anxiety. For the first time since Darryl had called with the news, I felt a sense of certainty that Gregg and I would spend dozens more Christmases together.

The air was cool inside the room, so I got up and pulled on my father’s sweater. I heard the door click open, but I didn’t turn around right away. Instead, I kneeled on the floor to reach a slipper that had managed to find its way under the bed.

“You were gone a long time,” I said as I rose and turned to face Luke. Then I gasped. He was standing in the doorway holding a small pine tree that still had snow clinging to some of its branches, staring at me like he’d figured out the meaning of life.

“You bought a tree?” I asked stupidly, my heart beating rapidly at his thoughtful gesture.

He moved into the room carrying a bag from Walgreens, then set the tree against the wall. “I couldn’t find a live tree this time of night. Luckily, I always carry tools, so I cut one of the smaller trees down from the parking lot.”

I blinked. “You cut down one of the hospital’s trees?”

“You wanted a tree, I got you a tree,” he stated with a shrug.

I looked at the bag, and he raised it. “I bought a couple of ornaments for your parents and brother.”

My nose began to tingle, tears fighting their way to the surface. “You cut down a tree and bought ornaments for my family?”

“Yeah,” he answered hesitantly, his eyes hooded with caution. “Is that a problem?”

Warmth and something I couldn’t put a name to—except extreme wanting—rushed through my body. Here was a man who had lost so much, yet he was still so full of kindness. My heart swelled to the brim, beating fiercely in my chest. I knew at that moment, I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted another man. So I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, then found his mouth. Startle by my bold move, he dropped the bag, then pulled me hard against his body, opening his mouth to mine. Then he kissed me until my mind blanked and all I sensed was his warm mouth and hot, hard body.

I shoved his jacket off his shoulders, then began to pull his flannel shirt from his jeans so I could run my tongue along his hard lines and plains, but he covered my hands with his and stopped me.

“Not like this,” he breathed out harshly, leaning his forehead against mine. “I don’t want you giving yourself to me while you’re upset, then regretting it later.”

“I won’t regret my decision,” I told him, then buried my face in his neck and touched my tongue to his salty skin. He sucked air sharply into his lungs as I nibbled my way to his earlobe.

“Jesus,” he groaned before grabbing my ass and lifting me from the floor. Then he took the three steps to the bed and fell, twisting as we went so I landed on top of him. “Tell me something,” he whispered into my ear, peeling my father’s sweater up my arms, then twisting it so my hands were trapped. “Do you shop at Trader Joe’s often?” His mouth was twitching as he watched for my reaction.

Busted.

“Um,” I murmured.

He rolled me to my back and pinned my arms above my head, leaving the sweater in place so I couldn’t use my hands. “You followed me through the store, didn’t you?”

I rolled my lips between my teeth. I was positive he hadn’t noticed me in the store. “You weren’t supposed to recognize me.”

He grinned. “I didn’t until tonight, but you crawled away from me on your hands and knees, leaving me with a specific view. I would remember that ass anywhere, baby.”

I blinked. “You were watching my ass when I crawled away?”

His mouth twitched. “No, I was wondering who’d be caught dead in that sweater. But I didn’t recognize it until you were on your knees just now, so I’m assuming it was your ass that caught my attention, not the sweater. It’s a great ass, by the way,” he said smoothly, then nipped my lips before burying his face in my neck. “I think we should get some sleep. The sun will be up in no time.”

He was trying to distract me. Thought I needed more time to decide if I wanted to sleep with him. Most men would have taken the advantage I’d given Luke, but even though I could feel his hardness pressing against my stomach, he was still giving me time to change my mind.

My mother used to say there were two types of men in this world. Real men, and boys with hair on their upper lip. The second type clings to their women, wanting to be mothered and taken care of. Basically have their asses wiped for them. Real men, she said, put their women and children first. They are the hunters among men. The alphas who stand between you and the rest of the world because their whole focus, their whole reason for being, is you.

Luke, not that I’d had any doubts before, was a real man. And his effort to protect me was futile. I wanted him more than ever for the very reason he held me now at arm’s length.

Wrenching my hands from where they were pinned, I threw the sweater to the floor, grabbed his face, and then pulled his mouth back to mine.

“I need you inside me,” I begged against his mouth. “I know what I’m doing. I promise. I just need to feel alive for once instead of alone and scared. Please, Luke. Please make me feel alive.”

Luke’s eyes blazed instantly, then he captured my lips in a deep kiss that curled my toes, as raw desire ignited.

My hands moved to his shirt and began to unbutton it, desperate to feel his skin. Moments later, his bare chest was all I could see, and I ran my hands down the taut flesh covering hard steel.

Luke hissed at my touch as if I’d burned him, then kissed me deeper, his tongue fighting for dominance with mine as he pushed my top up to run feather-light touches up my side.

I needed to feel his skin on mine, but my flannel PJs were in the way. Our thoughts seemed to be in sync, though, because Luke grabbed the hem of my top and pulled it up until my breasts were on display. Then he lowered his mouth to my nipple, sucking deeply until my blood rushed to the surface, sensitizing it further as it seared hotly in response.

Like a switch had been flipped, my body reacted and a dull ache began to pulse between my legs as a whimper of need spilled from my lips.

Lifting my hips, searching for friction to ease the building need, I writhed on the bed as his hot mouth moved to my other breast and attacked my neglected nipple.

Luke breathed, “Shhh,” against my breast as I squirmed uncontrollably, then my bottoms were gone and his mouth was on me. Sweet torture assaulted me as his tongue danced across my heat, pushing me closer to release.

My hands tangled in his hair as he flicked his tongue against my swollen flesh. Need burning hotter with each caress. I would explode soon if he didn’t give me what I wanted; filling me until I felt whole.

“Luke, please,” I begged.

With a growl, he stripped off the rest of his clothes, centered himself against my core, and then surged forward until he was sheathed fully. Then he moved, and I thought I would die from the sheer bliss of it.