Nya went into Archer’s apartment with the brown paper grocery bag under her arm. After tugging her key out of the open door, she kicked it shut with her heel. 

“I put in a full shift of hard labor at the club only to walk out to a text telling me to bring home Cheetos and beer. I’m guessing I’m not in for a night of romance,” she said, putting the bag on the table so she could take off her jacket. A smell in the air made her wrinkle her nose. “What is that smell?”

It couldn’t be what she thought it was. Nya was sure it couldn’t. Except Archer was sitting in the middle of the couch, occupied by something on a small, yellow plastic dinner tray. The TV was on mute as usual and although he glanced up to read the subtitles once in a while, he hadn’t yet looked at her. 

“Thanks, babe, you can split if you want,” he murmured and she heard the crunch of paper. 

“Split?” she asked, going to the couch to look over the back and Archer’s shoulder. “Why are you sitting down? And what is that?” She gasped. “Is that pot?”

Skirting around the couch at super speed, Nya dropped down beside him, thigh-to-thigh. “Yeah,” he said, licking the length of the papers to stick them together. “Roach?”

He opened one hand toward her while the other twisted the end of the joint into a short, tight point. 

Nya shoved his hand away. “Since when do you get high?” she asked. Having dealt with one man’s drug problem, she now faced another and this one was worse. “Do you know what pot can do to your fertility?”

Smiling, he kissed her temple, then tore a rectangle of cardboard from the tobacco papers packet to roach the spliff. “Guess you’re serious about the kid thing after all, if you’re thinking about that.” She blushed, but her embarrassment was forgotten when he held it up to her. “It’s not for me.”

“I don’t want it,” she exclaimed, wondering at why he’d give her such a peculiar gift. 

“It’s not for you either.”

The toilet flushed, then the bathroom door opened. When Tag appeared in the living room to drop into the armchair at the couch, she could only gape at her friend who wasn’t usually wandering around like he was just a dude hanging out rather than a detoxing prisoner.

Nya turned her shock on Archer. “You’re getting him high?”

“We have a meeting,” Archer said, reaching past her to hand Tag the joint.

But she snatched it before her friend could get it. “You can’t substitute one drug for another,” she said.

What sense did it make to get him away from the cocaine only to give him a crutch? Marijuana might not be as damaging to his health as the harder drug, but she’d be concerned about Tag slipping back into his old ways if he had the excuse that they’d given him other illegal substances. It could be argued that the line was arbitrary and what right did they have to decide where it was for him? A zero-tolerance policy was better than being hypocritical.

Though it might be Archer’s reasoning that a stoned Tag would be less inclined to get himself into trouble, but she didn’t want to lobotomize her friend just to give them a break.

“This is a one-off,” Archer said. “His anxiety is gonna fuck us. This will chill him out.”

“A meeting? What kind of meeting? A meeting with who?” Nya asked, searching Tag and Archer for an explanation. “Look, I have the joint.” She held it in her fist. “And nobody’s getting this until I find out what’s going on.”

“You don’t need to know anything,” Tag said. “Just give me the damn thing.”

It was Friday and had been three days since the night Tag had agreed to play nice. As far as Nya knew, he’d been a good boy. She and Archer worked together to manage the renovations at Sizzle and they spent their nights here. Tag had been given blankets and pillows to make him more comfortable, but Archer wouldn’t let him leave the bathroom because he’d insisted that if Tag got the chance, he may still give in to the temptation of taking drugs.

Archer rose and moved around to his regular position of standing behind the couch. “We’re meeting Gio first,” he said, his eyes narrowed on the television. “If this prick doesn’t fuck that up we have another meeting after, a big one.”

So, it wasn’t just a meeting, it was two meetings, meaning the chances of something going wrong were twice as high. Tag surged to his feet. “Don’t involve her. Nya doesn’t need to know. She doesn’t need to worry.”

“She asked me a direct question,” Archer said, folding his arms. “And when she does that, I can’t lie.”

“Thought you said you protected her,” Tag said.

“It’s a balance,” Archer replied with a nonchalant shrug. “You give her enough so she doesn’t sulk, but not enough that she’ll get herself into trouble.”

“Do you want me to come?” Nya asked.

She’d become more accustomed to ignoring the men’s sniping because while it was clear they still didn’t have any love for each other, they had refrained from physical confrontations. So there was a tense kind of truce between them, although she did sense Archer was often the one restraining himself. Tag’s erratic behavior still flared up, hence why Archer had probably rolled the joint.

Nya put it on the table and kicked off her shoes to stretch her legs along the couch in a position she’d usually adopt if Ester was there.

They hadn’t seen Ester for a couple of days, Nya didn’t know if she was still in town, or still screwing around with Derren, or if maybe their reunion had caused the woman to split. She’d drift back in eventually and if Archer wasn’t worried, Nya had no reason to be.

“Trouble like that,” Archer said, tipping his attention to her. “You’re not coming anywhere near it.”

“Why not?” she asked. “If you want someone to keep Tag calm, I’m your best bet.”

“I’ll stay fucking calm,” Tag said, stomping over to grab the joint from the table.

If Archer thought it was a good idea then she would let her friend spark up, but she didn’t think it was smart for Tag to be taking anything, especially something that may make him paranoid. But if it wasn’t strong, it might have at least a placebo effect.

“You’re not coming because I don’t know how this fucker’s going to handle seeing Gio and that meeting’s not the one we should be worrying about.”

“The big one?” she asked. “Who will be there?”

“Some folks Gio’s made connections with,” Tag said, forcing to twist almost all the way around to look at him. “The fifty grand was a buy-in, least that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Buy-in to what?”

“That’s what we’re gonna find out,” Archer said.

Nya could tell from her lover’s lack of intrigue that he already knew the answer, and had to be withholding the information from Tag. He’d been having secret conversations with Gio. She didn’t know that as fact, but if he’d had one, he must have had others. Nya hadn’t told Tag about what she’d overheard, and hadn’t stumbled on Archer talking to Gio again.

Archer was holding this together and he was doing it for her, just the same as he’d got Tag clean for her and bailed Tag out so many times.

Lifting a hand, she reached for him, making him glance down. “What?” he asked. “Was there a problem at Sizzle?”

Sometimes it was just overwhelming to be with a man so dedicated to doing whatever it took to keep her safe. “No,” she said. “Hold my hand.”

He did as she said and went back to reading his subtitles. “You know, Yorkie, you should come,” Tag said. “Gio doesn’t like Archer any more than I do.”

It didn’t sound like a threat, but it did make her uneasy. “That’s true,” she said, squeezing her hand around Archer’s. “I don’t know if I want you to go, Fella.”

As per usual, Archer wasn’t worried. “If I stay here, it won’t happen,” Archer said. “This meet is only happening ‘cause of me, though I’ve made it fucking clear I don’t trust Lucas, not an inch. Gio heard about it, he got the money, and tried to scam his way in. It didn’t work. After I spoke to Gio and he told me what he was trying to do, I talked to a guy.”

He talked to a guy. He said it like it was nothing. Like it was no big deal. Gio hadn’t been able to get in. Tag was falling apart. And Archer had made it happen.

For the first time, she looked at her lover and wondered what the hell he could accomplish if he used all these contacts to his own advantage. He could probably run his own criminal empire, but she was pleased that he didn’t. Archer was happy with his simple life: his girl, his home, his crappy car, and his big TV. It didn’t take much to please her man.

The smell of the pot Tag was smoking hung in the air and she guessed that was probably responsible for her reflective mood. “I’ll stay,” she said, trusting Archer’s assessment of the situation. “But I’m staying right here and I’ll only let you go if you promise to come straight back. Both of you. How much time do you have before you have to go? Do you want to eat?”

“Maybe,” Archer grumbled.

Using her grip on Archer’s hand, Nya pulled herself into a kneeling position and looped her arms around his waist. “I’ll make that steak you like.”

Archer rested his hands on her shoulders. “Gonna take the plunge and prepare flesh for me?”

“I could try,” she said.

“You get this right, you’ll be doing all the cooking, and you know I have an appetite.”

Oh yes, she did and she recognized the innuendo laced through his voice. She took his hands from her shoulders and kissed each one before climbing off the couch to head for the kitchen. At least the first few times, she’d probably screw up making meat for him. But after all he’d done for her, it was about time she made an effort for him and this was a good place to start.

 

 

It seemed to take years for them to return.

There had been a mad rush of activity before the men went out. Archer got changed, checked his weapons, and gave her instructions, such as telling her not to answer the door. He did ask her if she’d rather stay in her apartment as opposed to his, but Nya refused. Her love didn’t have time to fight with her because he had to give Tag a bunch of orders too.

Nya begged her friend to listen and made it clear to him that Archer would protect him because of how much he loved her. If Tag did as he was told and paid attention to Archer’s cues, Nya was confident that both men would come back to her unharmed. But if they got into conflict with each other or Tag decided to act on his own, Archer might not be able to protect him, or he might not want to.

Her friend wasn’t at his peak, he was still recovering from his detox and his behavior was unpredictable. But he was impatient too, he wanted to know what Gio was up to and if this meeting was time sensitive, they couldn’t wait for Tag to get back to top form.

Tag kind of nodded along when Archer spoke, but his superior attitude told her he wasn’t taking her or Archer too seriously.

Although it could just be that the pot he’d smoked was chilling him out. He didn’t get agitated or anxious like he had been recently, which was a bonus.

But it was actually Archer she worried for. Nya pulled him back before they could leave and kissed him hard, which wasn’t something she would normally consider doing in front of Tag. She stroked his face, told him she loved him, and made him promise to come back to her.

Although he must have sensed her concern, he didn’t address it directly. Nya walked both men to the door and closed it because Archer had demanded that she lock it while he listened from the other side.

The men walked down the hallway, Nya listened to their footsteps recede to the stairway until there was… nothing.

No more sound.

It was the worst silence of her life and Nya couldn’t help but feel some of Tag’s anxiety creeping around her. She had a horrible feeling that something was going to go wrong or that something was about to change and it was a feeling that didn’t subside.

All she could do was wait.

She couldn’t concentrate on paperwork and she’d promised Archer she wouldn’t go out. Ester wasn’t here and no one knocked on Archer’s door. She watched TV, flicking through channels faster than she could register what was on them. But it was the repetitive motion occupying her hands that kept her clicking the button. She made coffee. She drank wine. She took a bath. She tried to sleep…

All the while her gaze drifted back to the front door as she waited to hear the sound of a key in the lock. A dozen times she thought she heard footsteps. A dozen times she leapt up and held her breath in anticipation of seeing her men. But it didn’t happen.

Evening became night and with every second that ticked by, she grew more concerned.

How long did she leave it? How long did she wait until she tried to call? If they were in a meeting, she didn’t want to embarrass either of the men by seeming like the nagging wife or the overbearing mother. But if something had gone wrong, she had no way to help the men she loved.

Nya had no phone number for Ester, Derren, or for Kristof. Without any way to get in touch with Archer’s pseudo family members, she’d be left waiting for someone to find her if Archer and Tag didn’t come back. Rooting through Archer’s apartment might give her some clue about how to find his allies, but she doubted it. Her lover was too smart to leave information like that lying around.

Nya had been sitting at the dinner table for quite some time, although she couldn’t put an exact number on how many minutes it had been. She sat in the dark with her hands on the surface, staring at the door and waiting.

And then, it happened.

Metal touched metal and there was movement, but she was in such a daze that she almost didn’t believe they’d truly come home. It wasn’t until the door opened and Archer came inside that she finally sucked in a breath.

“Oh thank God,” she said, but didn’t get up because she couldn’t trust her legs to hold her yet.

Archer’s glare was cold. She hadn’t seen him appear so detached in a long while, probably not since the time she’d sat in this chair when she’d been tethered to the bolt beneath her foot. She wasn’t fastened to it now, but she might as well have been, the weight of those frosty eyes kept her pinned in the seat.

Tag came in next, with Gio, and another man she didn’t know.

The unknown man moved away from the door. He seemed the most relaxed of the bunch. He was big, tall, but not scary. There was something striking about him, almost mesmerizing, that drew her eye. Maybe it was the angle of his jaw or the keenness of his eyes, but as far as she could tell he wasn’t trying to intimidate her. After he registered she was there, he looked away to examine the apartment.

Tag was laughing. He had his arm around Gio; it seemed the men were the best of friends again. Gio gave the door a shove to put it back into the frame and Nya didn’t know what to think. Archer had moved into the kitchen to retrieve something from the laundry closet.

Tag and Gio were talking at a hundred miles an hour and laughing, their mood was so high it seemed they were bouncing off the walls. The new guy drifted into the living room and dropped into a chair, resting his hands on the arms, all loose, like he was in a doctor’s waiting room and not surrounded by the others.

“Yorkie!” Tag exclaimed like maybe he’d just noticed she was there. He opened his arms wide. “We’re moving to Phoenix!” He gave Gio a slap on the back, but ice cascaded through her veins. “Gio’s got it all figured out. We’re starting anew, just like you wanted, Yorkie. You, me, and Gio, we’ve got it made, we’re hitting the big leagues.”

“Phoenix,” she said. “Arizona?”

Tag laughed.

Nya couldn’t connect the joy from this man with the despair in her heart. Looking at him now was like looking at the Tag of the old days, before the drugs, before Hexam, before Archer. When it was just the two of them, happy friends moseying through life without all these terrible situations that had been thrust upon them recently.

“We’ve got a week,” Tag said. “That gives us time to get everything sorted out. There’s one little job we’ve gotta do first too, but you don’t have to worry about that.” Putting an arm around Gio, Tag gave him a friendly shake. “Isn’t this guy the best?”

Her daze was making it difficult for her to form new thoughts. “The best?” she said. Gio sure looked pleased with himself.

“How are you doing, Nya?” Gio asked. “I feel like it’s been an age since we all hung out. I leave town for a few weeks and everything goes to shit.”

“Yeah,” she said, wishing he hadn’t come back. “Phoenix.”

The word came out again as she wondered at how many thousand miles away that city was from here. It was all the way across the country, but it might as well have been in another solar system. Her gaze floated around to Archer who was on the other side of the breakfast bar with a half-full glass of Scotch in one hand and the open bottle in the other.

Archer never drank hard liquor. Never. Beer, sure, but he kept his wits and hated heavy drinking. He hated to see Ester get drunk and because his mother had done it so frequently when he was a kid, he had a kind of disdain for those who used booze as a crutch.

Her friend was exuberant like this development might solve every problem they’d ever had. How could he not see this was the worst thing that could’ve happened to her?

“It’ll be fucking amazing. The weather. The women. The life,” Tag said. “It’s exactly what we need. You were so right, Yorkie, when you said we had to start again and get away from this shitty town and all the crap. What better place than Arizona?”

Having a stranger in the room made this situation more difficult. Although the guy didn’t seem to be observing, he was staring straight ahead, he wasn’t even looking at any of them. For a brief second, she wondered why he was here and what was in his mind. But there was too much in her head and in her heart for her to worry about him now, so she blanked him out.

Warmth touched the outer corner of her eyes. “Tag,” she said, rising from her chair.

“I’ll take care of everything,” Tag said. “Don’t you worry. We’ll get your stuff packed up and shipped out. Don’t worry about Sizzle either; I’ll have someone step in to manage it until we can get the place sold. We’ll get you set up somewhere real nice in Phoenix.”

“Taggy.” The warmth in her eyes became ice as the moisture that gathered touched the cool air around them. “I’m not moving to Phoenix,” she said and it took a minute for his smile to fall. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to figure out what the hell she was saying.

“You’re not…? What?” he asked, stepping away from Gio for the first time.

Saying the words aloud gave her back some of her equilibrium. Nya was still devastated, but her determination was solid. “Phoenix. I’m not going to Phoenix.”

She felt the stranger turn his head, felt Archer’s eyes on her and Gio’s too. But Tag was the only one she could see. Even the apartment faded to a blur. Her friend came closer to the table until his hands touched the back of the chair opposite to where she was.

“I don’t understand,” he said. “Where I go, you go, and we’re going to Phoenix.”

“No,” she said and it was an odd sensation to feel her heart break for a man who she’d loved for fifteen years. Nya could tell as his anger grew and his tears fell that a fracture was forming between them. What they said now would dictate the future of their friendship. “I’m not going to Phoenix. I love you and I want you to be happy, but I can’t go to Phoenix.”

“Yes, you can,” Tag said and his head moved side to side in a disbelieving shake. “If I’m going to Phoenix, you’re going to Phoenix; it’s as simple as that, Nya. I’m not asking you a question. I can’t go without you. We’re family.”

In the past, there wouldn’t have been a question about her joining him, so she wasn’t offended by his assumption. Though it would’ve been nice if he’d realized her life wasn’t the same as it used to be.

Nya wouldn’t waver. “If you think it’s what’s best for you, I want you to go. If that’s where your future is, your life, then it’s where you have to be. But my future is here, Taggy. This is my future.”

It wasn’t easy to tell him the truth of what was in her heart because Tag was right that where he went, she went, and that had always been the way. For fifteen years, they’d been like planets in each other’s orbit—never far apart.

One would move a few miles and the other wouldn’t be far behind, almost like there was a bungee rope between them pulling them together. Though they’d become loose at times, she’d always maintained her ties with Tag even through her years with Damien.

“I can come visit,” she said. “And you can come back—”

“No,” he said. “You’re gonna pack your shit and we’re gonna leave. We’re setting up. A fresh start. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Because he always had. He’d always been all she had.

How could she make Tag see that things were different now?

“I can’t go,” Nya said. “I appreciate you wanting me with you. You know how much I love you and you’re right, we are family, that won’t change even when we’re far apart.”

But she had no way to know that for sure because they never had been.

Something changed in the way he looked at her and his confusion became a sneer. “This is because of him,” Tag said, extending an arm to point towards Archer who was still standing behind the breakfast bar. “You’re choosing him over me.”

“It’s not a choice,” she said. “I can always love you both. I will always love you both. But you don’t need me, Tag. You don’t need me hanging around, pulling you down, judging your life and sapping your resources.”

“And he does? You’re not staying here with him! I won’t let you! He’s no good for you. I told you that!” There was so much anger in her oldest friend. But Nya understood that while her grief made her cry, his made him angry. “You won’t survive without me,” Tag said, his volume increasing. “He’ll use you and dump you just like he did before. You’ve only been back together a week, less than that, and you’re choosing him over me?”

“Please, Taggy,” she said. “It’s not about a choice. My life is here. Yes, Archer and the club, and my home and… I don’t want to go to Phoenix and start again. This is my home now.”

But he didn’t see it. “Fuck home! This is not your fucking home! I’m your fucking home! And it is about a goddamn choice, one you’ll make right here and right now!”

“No,” she begged. “You can’t ask me to choose between my oldest friend and my future.”

“So that’s it?” Tag said. “I’m the past?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You love him so much that you would betray me? You would turn your back on me? Kick me out of your life?”

“That’s not it,” she said. “Please try to understand what I’m saying. I love you. I love him. But I have no desire to leave and start again.”

His fingers curled around the back of the chair. This wasn’t a conversation they should be having in front of an audience. Nya didn’t want to embarrass or humiliate Tag, but his pride would be wounded and she was worried that he was playing to the crowd.

“How many times have you come to me and asked for my help?” he asked. “Every time you asked me to do something for you, I said yes. Every time I helped you and this is how you repay me? You’re a selfish bitch, Nya Yorke, and not the woman I thought you were. You want him? Have him! But don’t you dare come fucking crying to me when he leaves you in a gutter.”

This conversation, this argument, couldn’t be going any worse. If he got angry like this before, she would do whatever she could to calm him down and that usually meant giving in to whatever he wanted. But she couldn’t do it this time, if she gave in and went with Tag, that would mean giving up Archer, and she just wasn’t capable of doing that. Her life without Archer would be unbearable.

Tag spun around and marched toward the door. Gio hesitated and stumbled about a bit, but when Tag opened the door, Gio went after him and darted out of the apartment first. Tag turned to look at her one last time. Nya sealed her lips, praying he’d change his mind and apologize.

“You’re not even worth my time,” Tag said and stepped outside to slam the door.

She opened her mouth wide but all she could feel was the tingling around her diaphragm as her heart tried to keep up with the anxiety and adrenaline that was pulling her in different directions. A weird kind of wail came out of her mouth and her legs buckled. But somehow Archer was there to catch her and hold her up.

“I got you, baby,” he said, hauling her up into his arms. “You stay fucking there, don’t move.”

The last stern statement must have been for the stranger in the living room. But she was sobbing into the crook of Archer’s neck as he carried her into the bedroom and put her on the bed.

“Squirm, baby, look at me, Squirm,” Archer said, stroking her hair away from her face. “Come on.”

Clinging to his tee shirt, she lifted her head to look into his sorrowful eyes. “Archer,” she croaked.

“Why did you do that?” he asked, almost angry at her.

Oh no, the last thing she needed was to fight with Archer too. “Why? Why did I do what?”

“You told him to go to hell,” he said. “For me, you actually… you chose me.”

It made sense to her now why he’d come in with that look on his face. Archer had expected her to leave with Tag. Her lover had expected her to turn her back on him, to give him excuses and slip out of his life, proving that he had no intention of following her even if she wanted to go with her friend.

But Nya had known Archer wouldn’t live his life like she would, he wouldn’t follow Tag from city to city, job to job, apartment to apartment. And one thing she was sure of about Archer was his need for stability. That was why he’d lived in the same apartment for so long and why he’d put her in one so close to his. Why he stuck to his rules.

Archer didn’t want to be a nomad like his mother, like Derren and didn’t want to run away from his responsibilities like his biological father had.

Somewhere between Tag mentioning Phoenix and her saying she wasn’t going, she’d put all these pieces together in her head without even realizing it.

Pushing away from Archer, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and sat up. “You thought I was going with him.”

“Yeah,” Archer said, sitting up to face her. “I did. Squirm, I did.”

There was something incredibly sad about the look on his face, not that he looked sad, but that he was so surprised she’d made the decision to stick with him. It was a tender look, but a confused one like he just couldn’t figure out why he was enough or what he’d done to earn her love.

“I need you, Chase,” she said. “And I just got you back. Losing Tag, the only man I’ve had in my life constantly for all these years, I don’t know how I’ll…”

Her voice broke and she covered her mouth with a hand to prevent another sob from escaping. But Archer curled his fingers around her wrist and drew her hand down.

“I’ll make sure you never regret it,” he said. “What you did tonight, I… no one surprises me. I mean I always know walking in what will happen, I always know who the players are, what their motivations are, and I have a good idea of what they’ll say and how they’ll act. Something I’m sort of proud of is always being one step ahead.”

It was almost funny that he was so incredulous about this. “Well you stepped the wrong way this time, Fella,” she said. “I didn’t even think about going with him for one second. Not one. The only place I want to be is here with you. Right here… with you.”

Leaning in, she cupped his face and pressed her mouth to his. But as she deepened the kiss and tried to climb into his lap, Archer pulled back. “I can’t fucking believe I’m going to say this, but we have to wait.”

If there was a moment meant for making love, this was it. Archer had never told her they couldn’t be intimate, not while they were in a relationship. He loved sex as much as she did, so she couldn’t figure out why he’d be reluctant now.

“For what?” she asked.

“I’ve got to talk to Shaw, get some things straightened out with him, figure him out. But I want you to lie down right here and don’t move an inch.”

Nya had forgotten the dude was even out there. “Shaw’s the guy in the living room?” she asked. Archer nodded. “Do you trust him?”

“Don’t know him well. I’m about to find out.”

“So this is the conversation?” she asked.

Archer didn’t tie everyone to his pipe, didn’t brand them and cut them and beat them. He tried the charm first; if he could make friends with the person they became more useful to him than they would be as his enemy.

So her love had to work and that was why they couldn’t get it on. But he was running his fingers through her hair, over her face, down her shoulders, appreciating her, probably in a way he never had before. She’d just proved how valuable he was to her.

“You need help or do you need me to stay out of the way?” she asked.

“Do you want to come and say hello? You think you’re up for it?”

Lying in here, dwelling on her argument with Tag, wasn’t going to achieve anything. It was never fun to be in Tag’s bad books, but she had upset him before, although maybe not as much as this. She couldn’t do anything about his mood right now, even if she called or tried to go to him, they’d just end up fighting again.

Her friend needed time, and she hoped that after he’d had a chance to think about her situation, he’d understand her point of view. “Yes… Tag’s angry, he’s not thinking rationally now,” she said. “I’ll just have to be patient.”

Although her heart was certainly still heavy, just spending these few minutes with Archer had given her a chance to center herself again so she could try to be rational.

Archer didn’t like it when women got overly emotional; it had caused a rift between them when she’d first cried in front of him. But he was actually doing her a favor, because his discomfort forced her to look at herself before she lost her senses to overpowering emotion, something she often had a habit of doing.

“You think he’ll calm down tomorrow?”

Tag might not come to her with an apology, but even if he maintained his anger toward her, he’d be stupid to put up a permanent wall between them. “I think he needs you,” she said and that was the honest truth. “Between whatever you set up for him tonight, and this job he needs to do… There’s a whole week before he moves and he’ll have to get himself established down there too without pissing anybody off.”

“He better not expect me to do him any favors,” Archer said. “After what he said to you tonight—”

“He’s angry,” she said again, sliding a palm over his cheek. “I love you. And I love that you want to protect me, but let’s be patient.”

“Patient?” he said. “The fucker’s leaving in a week. You’re gonna have to let me mark him before then.”

“Because he spent time on your floor chained to your pipe?”

“Because he hurt my girl.”

“My feelings,” she said, still trying her best to soothe him. “He hurt my feelings and if he leaves next week hating me, disowning me, my heart is going to break. And I don’t know how I’ll cope without him.”

Which was her way of telling Archer she might be emotional or erratic after Tag left. Archer picked up on what she needed and reassured her. “You have me,” he said, pulling her in to his side. “I’m not going anywhere. We all say things we don’t mean in anger. But nobody should speak to you that way. I was fucking pissed at you and I never—”

“Please don’t compare yourself to him,” she said, opening a hand against his throat. “I love you. But he’s already put both of you side-by-side tonight. I don’t think of you like that. I don’t think of you and him in the same way, so it’s difficult for me to understand why you both feel like you’re the same. I understand that you’re both men who love me, men who I love, but it’s such a different feeling for me.

“He’s a brother who I trust and rely on to give me a hug or to buck me up. He knows everything about my past and has supported me through everything, proving his loyalty and his love for me. I can’t put a value on that because it means the whole world to me. He’s a part of my identity; he helps me to understand who I am just by giving me a reference point. I can go to him to talk about anything, any person, any man, any job, any apartment, anything from my past, and he’s always been a part of it. So it’s like he’s a part of my DNA.”

It showed how much their relationship had grown that Archer let her talk so openly without feeling that he had to take action to fix her life. “Do you think he feels the same way?”

“I think he got angry fast. I think he’s confused. I think he’s hurt and I understand that. Farrah’s just broken his heart and now I’m doing the same thing just in a different way.”

“I broke your heart,” Archer said, his mouth in her hair.

“Yes, you did.”

“You’re not worried I’ll do it again?”

“You gave me your word that you wouldn’t,” she said, turning her face against his body. “And my love for you, Archer, is…” Nya had never thought to articulate it before, to put language on the emotions that swirled when she saw him. “You’re my sanity. Everything in my future, in my present, is linked to you and you’re the only thing that always makes sense. I fell in love with you because you were everything that I needed and everything that I want. I can trust you in a way I can’t ever trust anyone else. It’s difficult to describe how much I’ve needed that. How much I’ve needed you all my life. I can’t give that up now.”

“You could’ve asked me to move,” he said. “To Phoenix.”

It almost made her laugh that he was making the suggestion she’d discounted. “With Tag? What were we all gonna do? Set up home together? Socialize and party together? No. You’d be miserable. I know you have contacts in various places, but this is where you’re most connected, where you can do your work all over. Any place you walk into there’s someone you know or you know a guy who knows a guy. You’d have to start over in Arizona. Ester would come along. It would mean moving everyone. You give everyone a home base here; we can’t ask them all to relocate.”

“Kristof and Derren bounce around anyway,” he said. “Ester does too.”

“They’re happy to live like that, but you’re not. I don’t know what Tag’s going to do exactly, but what if it doesn’t work out and he wants to go somewhere else in three months or six? I know it’s not an imminent possibility, but how can you and me speak about having a family and then talk about bouncing around like college kids on a gap year? I want roots, Archer, just like you. I want to stop moving. I want stability and security, things only you can give me.” Drawing back, she took a second to examine him and wondered if she’d made assumptions of her own. “But if you think that’s something you don’t want or you can’t give me—”

“Don’t talk crazy,” he said. “You think I’m gonna say something to fuck this up or make you chase after him? You know how I fucking feel about him. He screws up your life, he’s endangered it. He’s hurt you. He’s made you vulnerable and it pisses me off. You’re not safer with him. If I thought you were and he was a good guy who really looked after you, maybe… maybe I would tell you it was a good idea or I would consider going with him for you. But I’ll be honest, Squirm, I’m not gonna be sorry to see the guy go.”

If Archer had said anything else, she wouldn’t have believed him. For a second, Nya wondered if maybe he’d set it up this way to force Tag to leave by hooking him up with people who wanted him in this new city. But Archer said it was Gio who had found this Lucas connection.

“You said the fifty grand was a buy-in, that’s what Gio had needed it for. But on the phone to Gio you said something about me suspecting something.”

“Gio wanted to know if I’d set up the meeting, and I had, he was asking if you suspected I was talking to him. He was worried about Tag jumping to conclusions because Gio was never my biggest fan and suddenly we were working together.”

“Why did you work together? Gio never liked you, he was always suspicious.”

Gio had made his dislike of Archer known when she started dating him, even before Tag had. “Because when I saw what the guy was doing, it made sense. I knew where he was, it didn’t take long to track him down, but I couldn’t figure out what he was doing or why he was talking to the people he was talking to. Lucas is a shady guy. Then I realized that Gio wanted an in. Yeah, he went around town settling debts and trying to make friends, but it wasn’t to re-build his empire here…”

“It was to start a new one there,” she said.

“Yep… And he was damn sure he didn’t want to start small, that’s why he was hitting up Lucas. Dicey, ‘cause I don’t trust the guy, but like I say, Gio was damn sure it was worth the risk. Gio sorta went out of his way to make friends with me. Thought I was gonna fuck Tag up after I told him I had him.” Given Archer’s reputation, Gio’s assumption wasn’t farfetched. “I let Gio keep wondering.”

Archer never gave away any more information than he had to. Gio might have been worried about Tag’s safety, but Archer would’ve let the guy stew and wouldn’t make any promises. Taking into account how Tag loved to piss him off and how frequently they came close to exchanging blows, Archer probably wasn’t able to make any promises about not hurting Tag when he wasn’t sure he didn’t want to. Breaking his word wasn’t something Archer liked to do.

“Did you know about Phoenix?” she asked. “Before the meeting?”

“No, and neither did Gio. The word on the street was about a big op going down here in town, and if the guys involved proved their loyalty, Lucas would name new lieutenants. Didn’t know they’d be set up in…”

When he trailed off, she finished. “In Phoenix.” So this op was in town. “What is the job and who’s this guy sitting in your living room?”

“Shit, Shaw,” he said, getting off the bed and grabbing her hand. “Come here.”

Archer pulled her from the bedroom and into the living room. Much to her surprise, they found this Shaw guy sitting exactly where they’d left him. “Nice place,” Shaw said. “Quiet.”

It would be quiet right now because the neighbors were out. Well, there was nobody staying in the apartment opposite Archer’s now and she lived downstairs, except she was up here, so her apartment was empty.

“We like it,” Archer said.

“Listen, man, I’ve got shit to do,” Shaw said. “What you want to talk about?”

It was understandable that Shaw wanted to get going—they’d left him sitting here for an age while they chatted in the bedroom. It had been kind of rude.

“This op doesn’t seem like your thing,” Archer said.

Relaxed and unmoving, Shaw couldn’t have cared less that Archer was probing him, which in itself was unusual. “You know who I am,” Shaw replied, nonplussed by Archer’s observation.

“Yep,” Archer said.

This was an odd conversation; Nya wasn’t really sure what to do with herself. “Shaw Spencer,” Shaw said to her, bobbing his brows in a hello.

“Nya Yorke.”

“You’re Archer’s girl.”

“Yep,” she said in much the same way Archer had, maybe being curt was contagious, but if the men didn’t want to speak to each other and didn’t want to hang out, why was this Shaw guy here?

“I know your work,” Archer said. “I know it well.”

Shaw lifted his shoulders. “I know yours too.”

“So how come you don’t owe me any favors?” Archer asked.

“Why don’t you owe me?”

Oh great, so this was what she was here to see, a pissing contest. Except each man was loose, the conversation seemed more like a joke without laughter than an attempt to gain the upper hand or prove how powerful they were.

“What’s your specialty, Shaw?” Nya asked, moving slightly away from her man, but not far enough away that he would be worried about her safety. Her question was meant to hurry things along a bit, but their guest didn’t answer it.

Shaw’s eyes drifted down her body. “I’ve heard about you,” he said. “Heard a lot about you.”

“Yeah?” Archer asked, sidestepping to bring himself in at her back. “Heard what from who?”

“Plenty from everyone,” Shaw said. “I respect you protecting your privacy. I’m kinda the same about mine. No one thought that Archer would get himself a girl. A lot of people are curious about you, Miss Yorke.”

“What does that mean?” she asked Shaw and when he said nothing, she tipped her head to Archer. “What does that mean?”

“It’s a warning,” Archer said, his focus on Shaw who lifted a finger.

“Not a threat,” Shaw said. “I don’t give a damn. I never really saw the appeal of having an old lady waiting at home. I always figure they slow you down.”

“You move around a lot?” Nya asked.

“No, born and bred right here in the city. Home is not far from here,” he said, looking around the room as if he could see through the walls. “Is that what this is, Archer? Getting to know me time? Well here’s what you need to know, I work alone. I know it’s a cliché and I know you’d say the same. But I don’t bog myself down with loyalty, I go where I please, do the jobs that I want to, and fuck whatever pussy I like. So I like your set up, your style, I actually think you’re a decent guy. But you won’t be getting any secrets from me.”

Shaw stood up.

To Nya, no loyalty meant no integrity and she didn’t respect people who had no integrity. “Are you happy, Mr. Spencer?” she asked and she’d bet the men were thinking about how female that question was, that it was a typical kind of question for a woman to ask, even in a business conversation.

“What the fuck does that matter?” Shaw asked.

Nya moved away from Archer, one slow step at a time. “Working alone I understand. Going where you want, I get that too. Doing only the jobs you want to, Archer’s exactly the same. But loyalty, a man without loyalty has no boundaries, has nothing to lose, nothing he cares about. If you can’t care about something, you can’t be happy.”

Shaw had picked the wrong night to push her buttons on this subject. While she kept calm, she was using this conversation as a bit of a vent for her emotions about Tag. “Are you gonna tell me there’s a thick black line between right and wrong too?” Shaw asked. “That there’s always a right answer to every question?”

“No. You can’t love a man like Archer and believe there’s no grey. But you have to be fighting for something more than yourself. You have to have a purpose. Archer has one.”

“You,” Shaw said.

“He had purpose long before I came along. But yeah, I’m a part of it now.”

“So I should find myself an innocent little girl like you and play house with her?”

“You should do what the fuck you want, Mr. Spencer. But either you’re lying about your lack of loyalty—which I could understand because it protects the people you care about—or you’re the lowest of the low. The man who’s price is less than a pack of smokes or an hour with a hooker. Nobody respects that man. That man never dies happy.”

“Are you trying to save me, Miss Yorke?”

“I see this more as an intervention, ‘cause one day you’re gonna need help. You’re gonna need advice or backup and if you’ve shown no loyalty to anyone, every door will slam in your face. Sometimes you’ve got to stand up for someone and if you do, that person may stand up for you and could end up saving your life.”

“Your little showdown with Taggert tonight, was that you standing up for him or him standing up for you? It seems to me that loyalty’s got you in a lot of trouble, Miss Yorke.”

“Yes,” she said. “But it was my loyalty that brought me to Archer. And my loyalty that helped him to fall in love with me. And my loyalty to my love that made me sure about my decision tonight. Tag’s angry, and even if he shuts me out, my loyalty to him won’t change and he’d never sell me out. Start somewhere, Mr. Spencer. Trust one person. Show integrity. Loyalty. And who knows, one day you may get it back.”

Turning around, she folded her arms around herself as she moved past Archer and went back towards the bedroom. If the men had more business to discuss, they could. But she was too tired to think about making a new friend.

If everything went down with this job that she still hadn’t heard the details about, Tag was going to leave. Nya didn’t really know what her life looked like without Taggert in it for more than a few weeks.

Even if she wasn’t in Phoenix she should be able to pick up the phone or visit, if he didn’t put up barriers between them before he left. If he did and she lost him for good, Nya would be left with a set of questions about how to tackle their relationship; how to fight to get their relationship back, or whether she should let it drift away and die.

She didn’t want to lose Tag, she loved him as a brother, but she was absolutely certain that being with Archer was right. Tag wasn’t her home. Archer was.