ENGAGED! I CAN’T WRAP MY mind around it. Ham was engaged to her. It’s not the fact that he was engaged that has me upset because everyone has a past, it’s that he was engaged to her. Elizabeth. She is so far from the type of person I am, and hearing her say that made me realize I have been deluding myself yet again by thinking Ham and I could have a future. If Elizabeth is the type of woman, substance, and means he likes, then there is no hope for us. I could never measure up to her and I am done trying to be something I am not.
I hear Ham yelling my name, but right now I want to go to my Nana’s and cry. As I make it to the truck in record time I ask “Max can you please take Nana and me back to her house?” I see the indecision in his eyes and hear Ham yelling “Max don’t you move that fucking truck. I swear to God Max.”
“Max please. I don’t want to talk to him right now. Please.” I know he is going to do what Ham says, but then Nana says “You heard her Max. Drive. When a woman asks you for something, it’s the gentlemanly thing is to do as she asked. Lawd. I told you’re mama she wasn’t done raising y’all yet.”
Thank God for Nana. He starts the truck and speeds off like lightning. I glance back and see Ham standing there with his head hanging and his shoulders hunched like he is about to morph into the Hulk or something. I want to get out and go to him, but it’s too much pain knowing that I should have stuck to my plan.
Nana looks at me with questions and I give her a slight shake of my head, letting her know I am not doing this in the car with his brother. When I look up, his brother is giving me the same look, and I. I just can’t. The whole ride I am conscious of the stares I am getting from both of them, but I don’t care. Knowing that he likes his women rich, bitchy, and trashy has me feeling used in the worst way; and I don’t know what to do. What could he possibly want with me, other than to say he broke my cherry? I am nothing like her.
We finally pull up to the house, and I jump out before Max can say anything. I run inside as fast as my feet can carry me. I enter and have an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, which makes no sense. I barely know him. So how can I feel like I just lost the one thing I have been searching for my whole life?
“Girl you wanna tell me what happened? You took off like your britches was on fire. What made you run this time?” I flinch as she says that because from the outside looking in, that is exactly what it looks like. I run. But seriously, can you blame me?
“I found out he was engaged to Elizabeth McIntosh and I couldn’t believe it. We are complete opposites, and it hit me that I don’t know anything about him. What could he really want with me when he marries girls like that?” I know I’m spiraling at this point, but panic has set in. Is this always going to be my life? Me, alone?
“Girl, slow down. Now who in the Holy Hell told you they used to be engaged?”
“Elizabeth.”
“And what did Ham say?”
“I don’t know. I just got out of there.”
“Ah. You ran without listening to the man you love.”
“Love…Nana I just met him. I don’t lo…”
“Now child, you might be able to fool yourself, but I been around this town a few times. I know love at first sight when I see it. You need to sit your obstinate butt down and listen to an old lady for a second. I swear you are just like your mama. An ear full of wax and the temperament of an alley cat.” What the hell is she going on about?
“Ham was no more engaged to that plastic trollop than you would have been happy with the Ken doll.” “But, she said…” “Shut it and listen. She has a grudge against Ham because he exposed her. Three or four years ago Ham went away to some training school their father insisted all the boys go to. He would only send them one at a time, and for a year each, to help prepare them to take over the family business.
While Ham was away, Max and Elizabeth began seeing each other. The whole town thought it was serious, including Max. If anybody had asked me, I would have told them that girl got so many miles, even a rotation wouldn’t fix all those uses.” Lord. I smack my forehead with my hand. What the hell is wrong with her, the sweetest old lady but vile sometimes. God I love her!
“When Max went away, he thought she would wait for him to get back. Ham came home after Max left and he and Elizabeth started seeing each other.”
Ugh. That is even worse he stole his brothers’ girlfriend.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but the way she just popped me in the lip says I did. I can’t remember the last time I was physically punished. Ghee’s! She is still a pistol.
“Hush your mouth and stop jumping to conclusions. Ham didn’t know about her and Max until Max came home. Don’t ask me how a secret like that stayed hidden in a small town like this, but no one breathed a word. I could only surmise people wanted to see the fallout. To make a long story short: when Max came home, he caught them in bed together. They fought. When Ham realized what happened, he dropped her; but Max was too but hurt to listen. They hadn’t spoken in three years, until this morning with you.”
Oh God. If this is true, then what did I do? Jumping off the couch, intent on finding Ham and apologizing, I make it to the door just as I hear someone pull up. Relief floods through my body because he came for me. I ran from him and didn’t listen to what he had to say, and he still came for me. Love for this man is all I feel right now.
“AvaLynn get your fine stubborn ass out here right now, woman. Don’t make me come and get you.” Hmm, that sounds promising.