Koby wasn’t answering his phone. Vince hadn’t found the guts to call him last night after talking to Hernandez, but all day Vince had been trying with no luck. Koby wasn’t reading his texts either.

Vince was being deliberately vague, just asking to meet up and see each other, but so far, he’d heard zero back. It was probably nothing. Koby was more than likely in the zone, working on the sculpture. He could get lost in his work for hours and not even realize, especially if his phone was on silent.

So Vince took himself to the gym for a few hours. The guy who owned the place, Matt, was one of the dudes who had helped Koby carry his half-finished sculpture into the workroom at the start of the month. He was friendly but not so much that Vince felt harassed. By the time he’d completed his workout, he felt kind of relaxed again.

Except then a few more hours passed and still Koby hadn’t responded to any of Vince’s messages or calls. He was starting to feel like a stalker, but damn it, something felt wrong.

Vince escaped his overcrowded house to walk around the park for a while, trying to clear his head. He’d been wound up enough trying to work out what to say to Koby before he dropped off the radar. Now Vince didn’t know which to worry about more.

He’d put off booking a doctor’s appointment until he spoke to Koby, so Hernandez was up his ass, demanding to know when Vince was going to get himself on a plane. But Vince had to speak to Koby first. Otherwise, it felt like he was betraying him.

Urgh, this was insane. They weren’t even officially dating. They couldn’t. It was just a fling, an experiment to see just how queer Vince really was.

If he believed that for even a second, Vince might have had a shot at convincing himself.

But he knew it wasn’t true. Yeah, he was still figuring out where he stood in terms of his sexuality. However, none of that mattered without Koby. Koby was the guy he wanted, not anyone else.

Vince rubbed his jaw as the sun began to set. Sitting on all this was making him feel sick. He needed to talk to Koby and be honest about how he was feeling. About them, about his brain injury, about football, about his bust-up with Drew. Mostly, though, Vince just wanted to hold Koby in his arms and inhale his unique musk. He wanted to assure himself that this thing between them, whatever it was, was real.

After trying twice more to call without success, Vince walked back to his truck in the parking lot and made a decision. He didn’t care if it came off as a little nuts. Right then he was worrying himself into a state. At this rate, he was more likely to call the hospital to check if Koby had been admitted rather than book his own MRI.

Before he got that drastic, however, he figured he’d try Koby’s apartment. It was dark and there was no answer to his knocking, so Vince drove across town to H Triple C. The door was open, but the room was also dark as Vince walked down the corridor. His heart sped up along with his feet.

“Koby?” he called out as he reached the partially open door, pushing his way inside and flicking the lights on.

He stepped back and slapped his hand over his mouth. What the hell had happened? Half the pictures had been pulled from the walls and all the baskets of supplies were out on the desks. The shelves were in different places and the trash can was overflowing with bits of paper and broken crap.

But that was nothing compared to what was in the corner. It took Vince a couple of seconds to work out what it even was.

Koby’s beautiful work of art had been smashed and covered in red paint. Curled up at the base of it was Koby. His eyeliner was smudged all around his eyes as he blinked, as if coming out of a daze.

“Vince?” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Oh, baby!” Vince cried, swooping down and pulling Koby into his arms. “You’re so cold. What happened? Who did this?”

Koby shook his head, clinging on to Vince as they hugged on the floor. “Don’t know,” he mumbled.

Vince stroked Koby’s hair and rocked him. He was glad that Koby had jeans and a sweater on today. Otherwise he would have been even colder. As they clung together, Vince looked up at the ruined sculpture.

“I’m so sorry.” He felt his heart breaking. All that work. All the time they spent together. This was the thing that had brought them together.

And now it was gone.

“We can fix it,” he said, then winced. Chances were he wasn’t going to be around to fix anything. But he had to give Koby some hope. “Right? It’s not totally destroyed? You can save some of it?”

Koby’s breathing was shaky. “Don’t know,” he said again.

Vince kissed the top of his head. He was so fucking angry. Who would do this? Again, he realized with a jolt. Who would do this again? Koby said his big final project had been vandalized around the time he graduated, eight years ago.

“Do you think it’s the same person?” Vince asked. Why would anyone do this to Koby, though? All Koby tried to do was help other people and make the world a more beautiful place.

Koby shrugged. He seemed exhausted.

“I knew something was wrong.” Vince shook his head. “I was calling all day and you didn’t pick up. I should have known. I was so cut up I was just thinking about my own shit. I should have come and found you sooner.”

Koby blinked and raised his head to look at Vince. He was frowning. “Cut up? What shit? What’s happened?”

Fuck. “It’s nothing.” Vince caressed the side of Koby’s face. Damn his big mouth. Now was not the time to discuss his football career.

But of course, Koby was too smart for that. He shook his head. “Something’s wrong. What’s happened?”

Vince bit his lip. Maybe it would be better to get it out in the open? He didn’t like the idea of lying to Koby. But Vince really didn’t want to talk about this now, either.

“It can wait.” Except he knew it couldn’t, not really. “It’s just…my coach called. He wants me back sooner.”

“Sooner than the new year?” Koby asked. “That’s only a couple of weeks away.”

Vince dropped his gaze and swallowed. “I said I’d get another CT scan or whatever the doctors need. I don’t know if I’m medically fit to be playing again. But Coach is pretty clear he needs me asap, so…”

Koby pulled away from him where they were sitting on the floor, just fractionally. Enough for Vince to feel it.

“So, you’re just going to go? Even though another head injury might kill you? It’s so important for you to play ball, you’d risk your life?”

Vince frowned. “It’s not like that. I have a responsibility-”

“No, they have a responsibility!” Koby shouted, balling up his fists. “But they don’t care, so long as they get their ‘Lumberjack’ back to smash some skulls in. So long as the Tulsa Harriers get to play every Sunday for family entertainment!”

“Koby, calm down!” Vince was completely taken aback. “It’s not like that. I don’t have a choice. I can’t do anything else! Football is all I’ve ever been good at. I won’t play if the docs say I can’t. But I…” Koby was looking at him like he’d just destroyed his sculpture all over again. Anger and frustration overwhelmed Vince as he rubbed his eyes and snarled. “We knew this was coming, all right? Don’t make me feel like the bad guy! I can’t just stay on vacation because I feel like it. I…Koby, I don’t want to leave you. But…but I-”

“You don’t have a choice,” Koby interrupted. “Yeah, you said. It’s fine, Vince. Just go. Don’t worry about me. No one wants my dumb art anyway. I’ll just go back to my tourist trinkets and you can forget all about that loser you fucked a couple of times.”

“What the fuck?” Vince shouted. He couldn’t believe how hurt those words made him, how furious.

Except…he could. Because he’d slammed his hand on the floor and leaned forward toward Koby.

Koby flinched backward, his eyes wide and fearful.

Vince immediately pulled away, horrified at himself. The only thing he’d ever wanted to was to make Koby feel safe. Yet here he was, scaring him just like those assholes had when they were at school.

“I don’t want to forget you,” Vince said quietly.

Koby licked his lips and looked down into his lap. “You’re right,” he said even quieter. “This was never going to last. We knew that. You – you should get back to your life. You’re a treasured sports hero. You make millions of people happy. Just…make sure you’re safe to play, okay. Promise me?”

Vince could feel the backs of his eyes burning. He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried. Men didn’t cry in the Russo house. But he felt close right then.

This was what he’d feared. That it had all just been a bit of fun, an experiment. Now Koby was ready to part ways and take the easy road.

Apart.

Alone.

All Vince’s arguments and suggestions of how they could work something long distance died in his throat. Koby didn’t deserve a big brute like him. Someone who had made a career slamming into people. He deserved someone beautiful, like he was. Someone smart enough to keep up with him and inspire him.

Not someone who scared him.

“You should go,” Koby said in a rasp.

Vince swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I can’t leave you like this.”

Koby shook his head and wrapped his arms around his knees. “I’ll be fine. I want to be alone. Please. Just…let me know when you’re flying out.”

Vince grit his teeth, feeling sick. “Can I see you before I go?”

Koby looked pained. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Vince nodded in bleak resignation and stood up, his legs stiff already from the cold floor.

He didn’t want to leave Koby there, looking like a wounded animal. He must be cold to the bone. But he wasn’t looking as Vince. He was looking sadly at his ruined masterpiece.

It was time for Vince to go.

He walked to the door, which he now realized was broken where the vandal had forced their way in. Vince touched the splintered wood with his fingertip. “I won’t ever forget you, Koby Duvall.” He frowned as he looked back at Koby still sitting on the linoleum floor. Koby glanced back at him. “I couldn’t,” Vince said. “You’re amazing and you changed my life and I…”

He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence. How did he explain how complete Koby made him feel?

“Bye,” he finished lamely, walking out the door.

Because he couldn’t hold the tears anymore, and he didn’t want Koby to see him crying like a damn baby.