CHAPTER 20
Sarah was both, shocked and overwhelmed with joy when she saw Sydney. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed him until she felt the emotion in his hug.
She had had so many questions for him she almost forget Angel was going to be there any minute. She’d felt so rotten having to lie the way she had. But she knew there was no way Angel was ready to meet Sydney, not like this. It would be a slap in the face. She needed to explain everything to both of them before she could have them meet.
This whole mess was her fault and now it threatened to blow up in her face. She was a nervous wreck all day and now she felt on the verge of a meltdown.
Sydney said he wanted to talk to her and she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be a short conversation. The only places she knew were places Angel had taken her. All of them were places frequented by everyone from school.
There was no way she was taking him to her and Angel’s special place. So, she decided to go to a place further down the beach where she’d never gone with Angel. She figured it was safe.
Getting there would prove otherwise. They got stuck in Saturday night traffic. It seemed everyone was out that night. She sunk in her seat several times when she thought she saw people from school. Guys from the football team even.
When they finally got to the beach, Sydney dropped a bomb. She’d been expecting something big since he’d driven all the way out here, but she was still shocked and upset when she heard it.
“Lynni.” He started. “I should’ve told you this a long time ago.”
Sarah braced herself. As long as he wasn’t sick she could take anything else. “What?”
“Remember Carina Santiago?”
Sarah thought for a moment, “The girl in orchestra who plays the cello?”
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Well, just before you left, me and her started talking, a lot. We actually started seeing each other. But you were going through so much crap and stressing out cause of your moms problems that I didn’t want to tell you about it.”
Sarah shook her head. “Why?”
“C’mon, Lynn, you had so much stuff going on. Half the time you were almost sick with worry about your mom. How could I sit there and tell you about how good things were going for me? It didn’t feel right, and even after you left, you were so miserable, and that’s when everything really started to happen for me and Carina. I couldn’t do it.”
Sarah stared at him, almost sick to her stomach, feeling so self-centered. All this time she’d been going on and on about having to be there for Sydney and now she was finding out that she’d been too busy wallowing in her own crap to listen to him. He’d been there for her, and through it all he’d kept his own feelings to himself; never once able to share his own anxieties or excitement about his own brand new relationship. Unless he’d kept anything else from her before this, Sarah knew very well this was a first for him too.
“Oh, Sydney. I’m so sorry.” She hugged him tight.
He pulled back gently. “What are you talking about? I’m the one that kept it all from you.”
“Yeah, but you did it for me, because I was such a whiny useless wimp. I dumped all my crap on you, time and time again, and never once thought about how hard it must be for you.”
Without warning the tears came in mass. She felt terrible, but when her eyes met his, he looked mad. “Don’t you dare do this, Lynn.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks. But spoke firmly. “You’ve been the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. You think I’ll ever forget what you did for me? If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have made it through middle school. I was the fattest, laziest piece of -”
“No, you weren’t.” She stopped him, infuriated.
“I was, Lynni. But you were the only one that didn’t think so. And just like right now, you were ready to kick some ass if anyone ever made me feel like I was.”
“That’s because I’ve always known what a beautiful person you are, Sydney. They didn’t know you like I did.”
“And I’ll never forget that about you. But I keep hearing you talk about how much you owe me. You don’t owe me shit. You got me through the roughest years of my life. If anything I owe you big time. If it hadn’t been for you I might have shot myself.”
She stared at him stunned.
“It’s true, Lynn. I’m ashamed to admit it but there were times I was thankful that things weren’t perfect for you, because I knew if your life had been just an inch more normal, maybe you wouldn’t need me so much.”
“How can you say that?” The tears burned in her eyes. “I would never turn my back on you.”
“I know that,” he said. “That’s why I’m here. You have to stay, Lynn. You belong with Angel, just like I belong with Carina. Why do you think I accepted the scholarship to Columbia?”
Sarah stared at him blankly.
“She’s going there,” he said. “It’s been killing me, because I know you want to stay here with Angel. It’s where you should be. If you came back to Arizona just because you felt you couldn’t turn your back on me. How am I gonna feel when I leave for Columbia? What if because you insisted on coming back to Arizona you lose Angel, and you’re on your own? How am I supposed to live with that? I’ll drop out of school Lynn. I swear to God. I’ll lose Carina before I abandon you.”
“No!” Sarah gasped.
“Then stay here, Lynn,” he said. “Stop being so damn stubborn, and tell him you love him, already. Stay here and be happy. He looked deep in her eyes “Me and you, nothing will ever break us apart, not anyone, not any distance.”
Sarah smiled, feeling her heart swell a million times over. “This is why I love you so much, Sydney.”
“I love you too.”
Sarah hugged him tightly. Then they hung out for about another hour, with Sarah insisting he tell her all about Carina. Sydney didn’t hesitate telling her everything. To Sarah’s shock they’d been intimate for some time now. Sarah tried to shake the guilt off. He should’ve been able to share that with her. She knew it was huge. Then he hit her with yet another surprise. “She doesn’t know I’m here with you.”
“What?”
“Everyone at school knew how tight we were, Lynn. She did too. When we started going out she was incredibly insecure about you. You’re a pretty rough subject with us, but I’m trying to get her to understand. It’s too soon though, and I know if she knew I drove all the way down here to see you, it’d be over.”
Sarah chuckled. “Yea, well, Angel thinks you’re a girl.”
The expression on his face made her laugh. “He assumed when I told him about my best friend Sydney, that you were a girl and I never corrected him.”
She held her breath, not sure what to expect.
He smiled slowly. “Well, Lucy, we both have a lot of ‘splaining to do.”
Sarah giggled and slid her hand in his like she’d always done before. “I was gonna tell him today. My mind was totally made up. Why do you think I’m wearing this get up? But then you showed up.”
Sydney checked her out from top to bottom. “You know I was gonna say something earlier. Then thought I better not.” He shook his head still taking it all in. “Damn, Lynni. I almost didn’t recognize you at first.”
Sarah blushed. “It wasn’t my idea, okay?”
“Oh I didn’t say it was a bad idea. Just sayin, wow.”
Sarah laughed feeling self-conscious. “Stop.”
“Alright, alright, but yeah. Tell him as soon as possible. And, Lynni, if you need me to talk to him, I will.”
Sarah smiled, she just didn’t think that would fly with Angel. She just couldn’t picture him listening to another guy talk about his relationship with her, even if it was Sydney.
“I’m starving,” she said.
“Anything good around here?” he asked.
Sarah didn’t care about good. All that mattered right now to her was discreet. “We'll find something.”
*
Angel stood still for a moment. He knew it couldn’t be, but Romero sounded so convinced. He took in what he’d just heard, then shook his head and started walking again. “Nah, dude,” he said. “She’s babysitting for her neighbors right now.”
“Call her then,” Romero said.
Romero’s dogged tone made him uncomfortable. He was so sure. Angel stood quiet for a moment. “Did she see you?” What was he doing? This was absurd. There was no way Sarah would be out with another guy. He trusted her.
“No,” Romero said.
“I didn’t see shit!” Eric yelled in the background.
“Yeah, well, he would’ve if he didn't drive like a girl. By the time we turned back, they were gone.” Romero said.
They’d actually gone back to check? Angel picked up the phone at the hostess desk without mentioning it to Romero. “So, what was she doing?” He dialed Sarah’s cell phone number.
“Talking, I guess,” Romero said. “I saw her as we passed the car, and I had to do a double take but Eric was driving so fast and wouldn’t slow down. She looked different.”
“’Cause it wasn’t her!” Eric yelled again.
Angel listened to him with one ear, and waited to hear Sarah’s voice in the other. But it went to voicemail.
“So, she’s supposedly working then right?” Romero said.
Angel didn’t like the way that sounded. He knew Sarah wouldn't lie to him. He hesitated to answer.
“I’m just saying,” Romero said. “In case we see her again. I’ll go ask her, what’s up? If the asshole even thinks of saying anything I’ll pop ‘em.”
Angel chuckled but he didn’t feel the least bit amused. This was starting to feel weird. It wasn’t like Sarah to not answer when he called. She always answered. Even when she did miss his call, she’d call back almost immediately. But then he had called from the restaurant phone. Maybe she didn’t recognize it. He’d only called her from that line a few times.
“I’ll call you back, dude,” Angel said.
“Call her,” Romero persisted.
“I will.”
As soon as he hung up he called Sarah. It went to her voicemail again. This time he left a message.
“Sarah, babe, it’s me. Call me as soon as you get the chance, okay?”
Within a half hour the restaurant was empty and clean. Angel double checked the kitchen then closed up. On his way home Eric called again.
“Hey, dude, you still at the restaurant?”
“Nah, I’m on my way home.”
“What? You’re not gonna meet up with us?"
“I’m tired, man." Angel yawned. "I’ve had a long day today.”
“Alright then. Hey, did you ever talk to Sarah?”
Angel frowned. “No, not yet.” He glanced at the clock on the dash. It was just after nine.
“Well, don’t sweat it, dude. I’m sure it wasn’t her, but you know how Romero gets.”
Angel smiled. “Yeah, I know. I’m not sweating it. I’m just tired.”
He sat staring at the red light. Shit he was getting a headache. For some reason, Dana’s call popped in his head. He tried remembering all she was blabbing about. Now he wished he’d paid attention.
She’d said something about being there for him. The light turned green and it came to him.
I’m not calling to rub it in, I don’t know what happened with you and Sarah, but I know you were really into her.
What was that about? None of it made sense. Well, hell, he’d never make detective that was for sure.
That was it. He was done. He didn’t need this aggravation what he needed was sleep. And he planned on getting some when he got home.
If he had never talked to Romero tonight, he wouldn’t be questioning where Sarah was, even if he hadn’t been able to get a hold of her all night. He knew exactly where she was, at her neighbors, babysitting.
He was almost home and exhaustion was really setting in. His eyelids were getting heavier by the second. He kept blinking hard to keep them open.
Just a couple of blocks from his house, his cell phone rang, jolting him back to life. He grabbed it from the passenger seat and frowned when he saw it was Eric again.
“Hey, man.” Angel could hear Romero going on in the background but Eric, or something, was muffling the phone and he couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“You home yet?”
“No,” Angel said. “Almost.”
“It is her, man,” Eric said.
It took a moment for it to register. “Sarah?”
“Yeah,” Eric said. “She’s with a guy.”
Angel’s heart thudded to a standstill. He had to pull over, so he could think… breath.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s her.” Eric sounded almost apologetic.
Angel fell back in his seat but still squeezed the steering wheel. He swallowed hard, not wanting to believe. “Where?”
“Some greasy spoon off of Proctor,” he said. “I’d never even seen this place before.”
“She still there?” Angel sat up straight. It suddenly hit him that Eric wasn’t talking about seeing her earlier. She was still there with another guy.
“Yeah,” Eric said. “They’re in there eating. They were holding hands when they walked in, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold this guy back. He’s ready to run in there now.”
“No, no, no!” Angel put the car into gear. “I’m on my way. How do I get there?”
Angel’s mind raced. How long had she been doing this? He thought of all the Saturday’s she had worked and he’d never even questioned it. The rage ripped through his veins, and he welcomed it. It was a familiar emotion that he at least knew how to deal with, and it helped numb the pain.
She’d completely blindsided him and he felt ready to tear someone apart. He stepped on the accelerator. He’d have his chance soon enough.
*
Sydney and Sarah had driven for a while, with Sarah deliberately directing him into streets she and Angel never frequented. She saw a small café in the middle of one of the small streets that was still open. “There.” She pointed.
Sydney frowned. “Are you sure?”
She wasn’t, but it seemed perfectly discreet. Definitely not somewhere anyone from school would be hanging out. “Yeah.”
He held her hand as they walked in almost guardedly. There were only two other people in there and they were sitting together, yet it still took a while for the elderly waitress to come around and take their order.
Sarah took advantage of the time to ask more about Carina. She was determined to catch up on all of it, every little detail. She was still feeling terrible that he hadn’t been able to share anything about it with her. Even after their food came she continued to grill him, at times feeling moved and holding his hand across the table. How had she missed it all?
Finally, they finished, Sydney insisted on paying. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked out the door. She leaned on him, her eyes at the floor, and then she looked up. Her legs almost gave out when she saw Angel. The bitter repulsion in his eyes was undeniable. He glared at Sydney then very slowly turned until his eyes locked on hers.
“You been working, Sarah?”