Doubt
After almost two full years of college under his belt, Eric was ready for a break. Now that Sofia was in college also, their time together was even more constricted. Even when he was finally free of schoolwork, sometimes she wasn’t. She was also running on the college track team, so that took up a lot of her time.
Both he and Sofia had been looking forward to the summer. They’d been saving for a vacation. Nothing fancy, maybe just a drive up the coast. Stop at a few bed and breakfasts. It didn’t matter where they went. Just being with her for an entire week, day and night, would be paradise.
Then a few weeks ago, his dad threw a wrench in his plans. The company he worked for was highly influential. Students lined up for the chance to do an internship there. A position in their IT dept was well sought-out. Eric was majoring in Software Engineering. He’d always been a natural tech, even when he was a kid.
An internship at this place would do wonders for his resume, might even open a few doors. His father always said success was due in large to hard work, but it also involved some luck, and it helped to know people. In this case, he was lucky his father knew people that could get him in. The internship would be for the entire summer. Unfortunately, it was at their head quarters in Los Angeles. He’d have to stay with his mom all week and be home only on the weekends.
Eric’s first thoughts were hell no! But after his dad stressed the importance of this and what it would mean for him in the future, he started rethinking. Sofia wouldn’t be happy about it, and the thought of being away from her all summer except for the weekends was the hardest thing to accept. Still, this was a huge opportunity for him. His father even said he was certain if he didn’t, do it he’d regret it later on.
Eric finally agreed, but he still hadn’t told Sofia. He’d be leaving in less than three weeks and there hadn’t been the perfect moment to bring it up.
After watching a movie and munching on pizza, they ended up naked on the living room floor. Eric worked on catching his breath when Sofia sat up. “God I miss this. I’m so glad summer is almost here. I’m s n="0els Erick of going days without you.” She kissed his neck. “I want this every day.”
Eric took a deep breath. “We need to talk, babe.”
Sofia stopped kissing his neck and looked at him. “About what?”
“This summer.”
She pulled away from him. “What about it?”
“I’m gonna be gone. But I’ll be home on the weekends.”
Sofia stared at him. “Why?”
“My dad got me an internship with his company in L.A. It’s for the whole summer, Monday through Friday.” He caressed her face. “It’s a dream internship, Sof. My dad pulled a lot of strings to get it for me.”
“You asked him to?”
“No.”
“I thought we we’re taking a vacation?”
“I know.” He kissed her. “I was looking forward to it, too. But my dad says this is something I really need to do, and I have to agree, Sof. I’d be stupid to pass this up.”
Sofia looked so sad it killed him. “The whole summer?”
He pulled her against him. “I promise, we’ll make the most outta every weekend. Okay?” He kissed her nose. “You mad?”
She took a deep breath, her expression completely heartrending. “Are you going to miss me?”
Eric sat up and cupped her face in his hands. “Of course I am—every minute of every day. You’re all I think of, Sofie. It’s almost embarrassing.”
Her face crumbled. “I miss you already.”
For a moment, he hated his dad, and he choked up, hugging her tight. “No, Sofie.” He took a deep breath, trying to hold it together. “We’ll talk every day. I promise.”
They held each other for a while, then Sofia asked, “Are you sure you didn’t ask your dad to take you away this summer—from me?”
Eric pulled himself up and leaned on his elbow. “Why would you even ask me that?”
She lay there, looking at the ceiling. “You’re not bored with me are you?”
Eric turned her chin gently to look at him. He gulped, trying to hold in the anger that question filled him with. “Don’t ever ask me that again. I can’t believe you would even think it.”
She stared at him, then in an instant, she wrapped her arms around him. “Maybe I could go out and stay with you a few times.”
Eric squeezed his eyes shut. He had a feeling she’d suggest that. But his dad had told him he’d be putting in some long hours. There’s no way he’d have time for her.
“We’ll see,” was all he’d commit to.
She pulled away, eyes pinched. “Or not.”
Eric pulled her to him. “Sof, I’ve only stayed with my mom a few times my whole life. I’m not even sure if this is gonna work out. I’m just saying, let’s wait and see what happens.”
Even though he knew how disappointed Sofia was, he was glad he’d finally told her. They’d been through so much already. They could get through this.
***
Eric had only been gone a few days, and Sofia was feeling it. She tried so hard to put up a front when he left, but she couldn’t help feeling like somehow he wanted to be away from her. It felt wrong. She should be happy for him. Even her brothers had agreed this was an awesome opportunity for him, but she couldn’t help it.
Weeks later, even after Eric had come home and two weekends in a row they’d spent most of their time together in a hotel room, she tried pushing it to the back of her mind. Sofia had only signed up for two classes over the summer. She regretted it now, because it gave her too much time to think.
She used her writing as therapy, spending hours with her laptop. For the most part, it worked. She’d been writing for hours when her phone rang. It was Eric. She answered eagerly.
“Hi, baby.”
“How’s my girl?” He sounded tired.
“Okay, but God, I miss you.” She had to stop telling him that. He was going to get tired of hearing it.
“I miss you, too. Just two more days and we’ll be together again.”
They talked about their days. His was always more exciting than hers.
“Oh, hey, guess what?” Eric’s tired tone seemed to wake a little. “My dad’s always going on about what a small world this is. He’s forever running into people from way back even when he’s out of the country. Now I know what he means. So far, I’ve run into two people from La Jolla. Remember Jacob Taylor?”
Sofia thought about it for a moment. “No.”
“From the football team in high school.”
Sofia wracked her memory. “Ah-uh.”
“Anyway, he’s going to school out here. I ran into him the other day at the market. Then just today I ran into Asia, remember her?”
Sofia was trying still to remember Jacob when she heard the name Asia, and her mind halted. How could she not remember the neighborhood slut?
“The one that lived up the street?” Sofia’s cheeks were suddenly warm. If she wasn’t mistaken, she’d heard a few things about Eric and Asia, way back in the beginning of high school.
“Yeah, I stopped at the place where I get my coffee on my way to work. She works there. She said it was her first day. I almost didn’t recognize her. She’s changed a lot.”
“Does she still dress like a whore?” Petty, but for some reason the fact that Asia worked at the coffee shop Eric would be at every morning didn’t sit well with her at all.
“No, Sofie.” He paused, the regret in his voice about telling her apparent. “She was in uniform.”
“What else did she say, Eric?” She hated the mood the conversation had taken. She’d taken it there, but couldn’t help herself.
“Not much. I was in and out of there as soon as I got my coffee. But she did say she’s out here trying to become an actress.” He laughed.
Sofia didn’t laugh. It didn’t surprise her. Asia had always been about the drama.
“You still there, Sof?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“What’s wrong?”
Deciding not to make a big thing of it, she took the high road. “I just miss you. That’s all. I can’t wait ‘til this weekend.”
“Me either.”
Eric told her about buying tickets to Sea World for the weekend. As much as she liked Sea World, she would rather spend the weekend the way they’d spent the last two, but she pretended to be excited, anyway.
*
A few weeks later, Sofia went to the movies with Naomi. They’d become pretty close in school. The only reason why she never did anything with her outside of school was because any free time she had, she preferred to spend with Eric. Now that he was away, she had more than enough free time to spare.
After the show, they grabbed a burger. They sat down in a booth with their trays of food.
“So how’s it feel to be free?” Naomi asked, sticking a fry in her mouth.
Sofia looked at her. “I’ve never felt trapped.”
Naomi glanced up at her. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, you finally get to do whatever you want without your brothers or Eric having anything to say about it.”
Sofia felt unease set in. The same unease she’d been feeling the past few weeks. Naomi had an annoying way of always hitting things on the nose. She’d never given it much thought, but she had gone from her brothers watchful eyes to Eric’s.
Her brothers had passed on the responsibility of looking after her to Eric. It was never said, but that’s exactly what had happened. Now she understood how after so many years of being so overbearing, they’d grudgingly, but a bit too painlessly, been okay with her dating. They knew she was in good hands with Eric. Even when she took the trip to Cancun, they’d been more than happy Eric would be with her.
Not that she thought Eric took advantage of that. He never told her she couldn’t do things without him. When her parents had given her the gift of Cancun, he assumed she was going without {oinher she cohim.
Since Eric had been gone, she’d been doing things she hadn’t done in a while. She told herself it was just because she was trying to keep herself busy. She used to run every day for pleasure. Ever since she and Eric started sneaking off, she stopped. She only ran for the team, even back in high school. There was no way she was going to let anything, even her running, cut into her time with Eric. And she’d all but given up on any writing, for the sake of writing. The only writing she’d done was the mandatory stuff for school. Now that Eric wasn’t around, she spent hours every day doing both.
What bothered her most is how much she’d missed it. She forgot how much she enjoyed both. It made her wonder if Eric was discovering he liked time to himself, also. She worried that he’d begin to enjoy time away from her, maybe even with other people.
He’d mentioned Asia once more since the first time. Again, she kept what she felt to herself. She didn’t even make a smart remark like she had the first time. But she’d decided if he brought her up again, she would definitely say something.
Sofia brushed off Naomi’s comment and changed the subject. Even after they’d moved on, several topics later, she still couldn’t shake the unease.
The next morning, Sofia got ready for her daily run. She stretched out before starting on the grassy area to the side of the walkway behind her house. Someone was coming up the walkway with their dog. She focused on the puppy that mulishly refused to walk as the owner tugged on the leash. He was adorable, big and chocolate brown. “Is this his first walk?” She knelt down to pet the pup.
“Actually, it’s his third.”
Sofia looked up, immediately recognizing the voice. She hadn’t even realized it was Brandon Billings from up the street. The last time she’d seen him was just before he left for the Marines years ago. He looked different—more mature. He smiled at her. “Brandon?” She stood up. “When did you get back?”
She couldn’t get over how different he looked. He was in much better shape than when he’d left and he looked so put together. The despondency in his eyes was gone too.
He was taller and much more secure, more distinguished somehow. “Ah, so you noticed I was gone.” His playful smile revealed a perfect set of white teeth.
She remembered him hardly smiling in high school. He’d worn braces all four years.
“Of course I noticed,” she smiled. “You’ve been gone a while, haven’t you?”
“Obviously you didn’t notice the first time I was back in town, but since then I went back for another fourteen months.” He glanced down at the pup who was chewing on his pants. “Just got back last week.”
“And this is your puppy?” She said, bending back down. She smiled, touching his big paws and wrapped her hands around his ears and face.
“Yeah, this is Troop.”
“Hey, Troop,” she said, “you’re beautiful.”
“So are you,” Brandon said.
Sofia stopped petting Troop and looked up at Brandon. The compliment was so unlike him. It made her a {It igh little uncomfortable, but she was flattered anyway. “Thank you.”
“You look so different, Sof, so much older.” He looked her over. “What are you, eighteen now?”
Sofia smiled. “Just turned nineteen, actually.”
“Really? Wow.”
She picked up her leg, bringing her foot up to her behind, stretching it.
“I see you’re still running.”
Sofia was a little surprised he remembered. “Yeah, I’m on the team in college, but I kind of stopped running for fun for a while there, just started to again a few weeks ago.”
He eyed her as she stretched.
“Hey Sof, I’ll be in town for a few weeks, maybe we can get together and do something. You know, catch a movie or something.”
She felt a little bad, but there was no way she could take him up on the offer. “I would, Brandon, but I’m sure my boyfriend would object.”
“Ah,” he nodded. “Is the lucky guy anyone I know?”
“Yeah, you remember Eric, right?”
“No shit?” His blue eyes sparkled. “Well, I’ll be damned. Since when?”
She smiled, stretching her other leg. “Technically, since I was sixteen, but officially, since I was seventeen.”
Brandon’s eyes widened. She knew what he was thinking. “How the hell did he pull that one off? I remember your brothers were all over anyone that messed with you.” He laughed. “Hell, I got my ass kicked a few times.”
Sofia laughed, remembering how Eric almost got a beating from Alex. “It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure.”
“Well, that’s too bad. It would’ve been nice to catch up.” He tugged the dog’s leash to pull him away from Sofia’s shoe laces. “You run everyday?”
She nodded. “Yep, Monday through Friday.”
“Maybe I’ll take run with you one of these days.”
She thought about it for moment. “Sure, I wouldn’t mind the company. I’ll see you around, Brandon.” She started running toward the park.
Sofia decided she wouldn’t mention to anyone she’d run into Brandon. Even though things between her brothers and Brandon had actually become amicable just before he left, she had a feeling they still wouldn’t like the idea of her agreeing to go running with him. Eric probably wouldn’t be too crazy about the idea, either. She made it clear to Brandon that she was in a relationship, and she didn’t see the harm in running with him. It might not even happen. She’d keep the whole thing to herself.