Again.

He’d kissed me again.

That couldn’t be a fluke. He must like me, at least a little. I couldn’t figure out why he kept pushing me away though.

Maybe he didn’t know why he liked me. Or he didn’t want to feel the way he did. Or he liked someone else, too.

Oof, that hurt. Jealousy cut into me like a knife.

I didn’t want to think about that. Besides, there were zero signs of a female presence in his life, other than Cassandra and Kelly, who were like family to him.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled Paton into my side.

Maybe it was my ratty clothes. Maybe that’s why he’d done what he did. Maybe he didn’t want to be seen with me the way I looked now.

Hot tears of humiliation threatened to spill over. I took a deep breath and slowly pulled my arm out from under Pate. If I was going to cry, I was doing it in the bathroom.

Alone.

I carefully shut the bedroom door behind me and tiptoed down the hallway. I was reaching for the bathroom door when I heard it.

Muttering.

“Mason?”

I stared into the kitchen. Mason was sitting by a half empty bottle of bourbon with his head slumped into his hands. He looked up sharply and I took a step back from the hungry look in his eyes.

“Michelle…”

The way he said my name sounded like a prayer. I stepped forward, wringing my hands together nervously.

“Are you alright?”

He took a good look at me and moaned.

“What are you wearing? Are you trying to kill me, Michelle?”

I looked down at myself in confusion. It was a plain white cotton nightie with a tiny pink bow at the neck. Not remotely sexy. It was one of the few things I still had from growing up.

“It’s just an old nightgown.”

He shook his head.

“No. It’s… just don’t come any closer.”

“Maybe you should have some water and go to bed.”

I went to get him a glass but he stopped me, his tone harsh and his breathing ragged.

“Stay back. I’m no good for you.”

“That’s not true… you are a good person, Mason.”

He smiled bitterly.

“Oh, but I’m not. If you knew what I wanted to do…”

He shook his head and took a swig of the dark honey colored liquor from a tumbler. He didn’t look at me again.

“Go back to bed, Michelle.”

I exhaled sharply, my earlier tears forgotten. He did want me. There wasn’t something wrong with me after all. For some reason this incredible man thought he wasn’t good enough. For me, of all people.

I don’t know when I got angel’s wings, but I was well aware I wasn’t perfect. Pregnant at sixteen from the first boy who paid me a lick of attention. Protective and painfully shy ever since. Uneducated, though not a dummy. Barely getting by.

I thought I was almost a good mother, always finding creative ways to have fun and make memories. I was a decent cook and good with a needle and thread. But the circumstances we’d been in were awful for the past few months, and I doubted I would ever forgive myself for letting things get so bad.

The one thing I knew I had done right was Paton. I was raising an extraordinary young woman. My daughter was bright and kind and considerate. She looked below Mason’s gruff exterior and saw his heart of gold.

I knew that no matter what else had happened, Paton knew without a doubt that she was loved.

And I was going to do better. I had to. I’d protect her whether I had a man or not. I was saving up money quickly now, especially since Mason refused to let me chip in for gas or groceries.

But this… whatever this was happening between Mason and I… this was something else.

I wanted Mason as a man. My body ached for him whenever he was nearby. But it was more than that. It wasn’t just for myself that I wanted him. I knew he was already becoming like a father to my girl. It didn’t mean I would give myself to someone I didn’t want, but it took away a lot of my reservations about getting into a relationship. He was a good man and he was good for us. And I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching him in the car, or just sitting on the couch watching television.

So I didn’t just want him.

I craved him.

I slipped under the covers and Pate immediately snuggled closer. I stroked her hair idly while my mind wandered. I’d made a decision, standing there in the kitchen in my nightgown.

I was going to get my man. Even if it didn’t last. Even if it was a disaster. I wanted him, even if it was only a fleeting taste of happiness.

It would be enough.

And maybe, just maybe, we could have something real.

Tomorrow night was Kelly’s party. I peeked into one of the bags he had loaded into our room and smiled. There was a denim mini skirt in there that was too big for Pate. I felt a warm rush of heat. He’d bought this sexy thing for me.

I pulled out a top designed to look like a bustier and bit my lip. I’d never worn anything so revealing in my life. But it wasn’t cheap looking. It looked designer, I thought as I ran my fingers over the lace.

Oh yeah, Mason was in for a big surprise.

He wanted me too. Why else would he do something like that? But some stupid notion about him not being a good man was holding him back.

Whatever the issue was, I was going to get to the bottom of it. Even if I had to use my legs to do it.