I should have known better than to believe Tasha when I ran into her outside of the bathroom. It had to be bad luck that a family of four was walking toward the bathrooms because if not for them, I would have never followed her toward that back entrance of the supermarket when she asked for privacy just for a minute to talk to me. The minute she fumbled her backpack in her hands, I knew I was screwed. And boy was I. Not knowing one thing about guns, except whether it looked real or not, I obediently walked through the back door and out into the back alley where her car was parked. If she had looked away for even a second I would have jumped back out of the passenger seat, but she kept the gun trained on me as she walked around the front of the car and got in.

In the back of my mind, I remembered Chuck saying something about there being guns at Bernie’s house. At the time, my only thought had been relief that I had no intentions of ever being around those people again. I never thought for one second that anyone would come looking for me while carrying one.

Tasha’s been gone at least an hour now, but there’s no way for me to get free. Not only did she handcuff me to the chair, but she cinched them so tight, I have no more circulation in my hands. They’re hanging at the end of my arm like limp noodles. The girl was whacked out of her mind and making no sense. Every time I tried to talk to her, she waved the gun at me and told me to shut up or she’d kill me. I don’t know exactly what she was on, but I know she’s always been willing to do anything and everything to chase a high, and I wasn’t going to chance fate by disobeying her.

“I’m baaack. Did you miss me?” she sing-songs as she walks through the door. On the one hand, her voice sounds clearer, but when I get a look into her eyes, her pupils are so dilated it’s scary, and her face is so contorted it looks like it’s melting wax. She stops right in front of me and gives me a big, toothless smile. (Oh my god, how did I never realize she has no teeth on the top row?) “I brought you a present.”

“Tasha, that was nice of you, but really, I just want to go home.”

“Don’t worry, Julian. I’m gonna let you go home, but first, I have to give you a present.”

Out of her bag she pulls a syringe, and I desperately pull on the handcuffs. “Tasha, what are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m not doing anything. I actually already did some. This is for you. You know what Phillip hates worse than someone who uses needles? A heroin addict. So I’m going to fix you right up, then I won’t have to worry about him choosing you instead of me.”

Panicking I plead with her to see reason. “Tasha, I have a boyfriend. You can have Phillip. I don’t want him. I swear.”

“But he wants you, Julian, and I can’t have that. He complains about you leaving all the time. He says no one sucks his cock like Julian, and no one takes a dick like Julian, and no one fucks him like Julian. How am I supposed to compete with that one, huh?” She waves the syringe wildly in the air around her before turning to a little side table she has and dumping out the contents of her backpack.

“Tasha, I understand why that would upset you, but—”

“Don’t lie to me, Julian. You may be able to fool your new little boyfriend that you’re not spending time with Phillip, but I know you are. He won’t return my phone calls anymore, and if I go by there he won’t even answer the door. I’ve only seen him once, once, since he ran into you.”

“No, Tasha, I swear.”

She stops whatever she’s doing over on the table to look at me. “You know, I don’t know how you do it, though. You’re way cleverer than I gave you credit for. I’ve been following you for days, and I really can’t figure out when you’re getting over there to see him, but no matter.”

She turns back to what she’s doing again, and icy fingers of fear grip my heart. Rehab was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and when I was in there I heard from relapsed abusers how much harder it was to stay away from the drugs once they introduced the needles. And heroin? I just found Vaughn, got Chuck back, started to figure out what I want to do with my life. I don’t want this. Tears course down my face as Tasha turns toward me with the syringe held up high and filled. “I’m pretty sure this won’t be enough to kill you. I’m not positive since I kinda lost track of what I was doing.”

It’s as she’s walking toward me that all hell breaks loose. I hear Vaughn scream my name as Nathaniel runs in and bulldozes Tasha to the side while being careful of the needle. She collapses with a scream, but hits her head on the floor. The sound of sirens comes in through the now open front door, and I hear Chuck outside yelling, “In here. In here.” Then Vaughn is kneeling by my side with tears streaming down his face, too.

“Oh, Jesus, Julian. Are you okay? Did she hurt you?” He rubs his hands up and down my arms frantically.

The ability to speak is beyond me, so I just shake my head and lean toward him. Vaughn knows exactly what I need and moves in closer, hugging me to his chest. Turning his head to look back over his shoulder, he yells, “We need handcuff keys so we can get these off of him.”

Like last time when we saw Phillip, I start to go into this weird alternate reality. Chuck and Vaughn thought it was shock last time, but I refuse to fade into the darkness this time. I lean on Vaughn while they get the handcuffs off. He squeezes my ankle as the paramedics lay me down to check me over. He holds my hand as I give the police a statement. There is not one point in time over the next several hours that he’s not touching me, giving me the strength and courage I need to push through to be able to end this day lying safely back in his arms at his house.

Tasha is arrested, but transported to the hospital to be treated for a concussion. When she first wakes up she screams something about wanting Nathaniel charged, but we all say we have no idea how she fell. The police agree that with no witnesses other than her, they’ll be waiting to see what tune she’s singing when she’s discharged from the hospital.

Vaughn doesn’t let me go, but massages the back of my neck, when Chuck and I cling to each other, crying over this near catastrophic event that would have shipwrecked my life, again—or possibly killed me.

When it’s all said and done, we all head to my parents’ house for dinner. I want to go home and sleep with Vaughn, but I know my parents need to see me and spend time with me. It’s not fair for them to hear how any of this happened from someone else. Not even my dad is his normal goofy self when they see us all walk up the walkway. Chuck had called ahead to let them know an entourage was coming so that they could be prepared, and Mom has put out drinks and snacks, but their faces are grave as they greet everyone by name with a hug and a slight smile. However, when Mom pulls me into her arms, I lose it, and for the first since they found me, Vaughn steps back so that my parents can sandwich me between them. Not knowing what happened yet, they still hold me close and whisper words of love.

After the emotional greeting, I go to the loveseat and tuck in close to Vaughn’s side while Jack takes over and shares the story with my parents. It’s at this point that Vaughn falls apart again, and we turn and clutch each other. I notice that Nathaniel stands pressed up against the corner of the couch where Chuck leans into his thigh. That’s a story for tomorrow though, for tonight I can only focus on getting through this day until I can crawl into bed with my man. Silent tears stream down my dad’s face as he listens, and my mom makes it all the way through before saying she’ll go get something together for dinner. She stops to kiss me on the head as she walks out of the room, and it’s not until she’s out of sight that we hear her anguished sob. My father immediately hurries out after her.

Nathaniel leans down and whispers to Chuck, and they disappear through the door toward the kitchen. Jack calls their parents and plans are made for us to go over to have dinner with them and Patsy this weekend. From what I’m able to figure out, Jack had called his dad when they were coming to rescue me so that he could go and be with Patsy. I’ve known their father since I was a teenager, too, and while they know Vaughn and I have started dating, we’ve spent most of our time alone, just getting to know each other better, and he comes to all of my NA meetings with me now. After this ordeal, his family wants the official introduction. Half an hour later, Chuck comes in to announce that dinner is ready. Nathaniel had urged my parents to go gather themselves in their room while he prepared spaghetti, a quick meat sauce, and Chuck threw dinner rolls in the oven. It’s a simple meal, but filling and delicious.

At the end of the night, we all go our separate ways. I promise my parents I’ll be home for Sunday dinner. Mom says it’s time for us to reconnect as a family unit, aka, we’re having a coming to mama dinner. This isn’t the first she’s wanted to do it, but I’ve always asked her not to in the past. With Vaughn by my side, I know it’s time to rebuild my relationship with my oldest sister, and I really do miss my niece and nephew.

Finally, we’re home and Vaughn runs us a nice bath, throwing some oils in it to scent the water and lighting a candle so that we can turn the overhead light off. “Are you okay?” he whispers in my ear from where he sits behind me.

“I think so. It was a crazy day, but I survived, and I’m here with you right where I want to be.”

He leans so that his chin is right on my shoulder and asks, “Do you think it’s too soon for me to ask you to move in with me?”

Chuckling, I say, “I’m probably the wrong one to ask. I’ve spent every night here since the first time.”

“Mmm… I think we should tell your mom to start looking for someone else to take in to her basement haven.”

“Yeah?” The smile that blooms on my face actually hurts my cheeks. “I think she’d like that.”

“Well, I was primarily thinking of her.” Vaughn turns his head to kiss my cheek before nuzzling his face into my neck for a minute. “You know it’s funny how falling in love works. You see a person and think how hot they are, the next thing you know you’re charmed, but that’s a slippery slope right into infatuated. Then, all of a sudden, someone’s trying to kill your person with a horrific drug and you realize that you can’t live without them. That that person facing potential death is it for you. It’s like you need them to breathe the same air as you when you first wake up and before you go to sleep or your life will never be whole again.”

The icy fingers that clenched my heart earlier are now like a million volts of energy coursing through it. “Vaughn, do you think that’s how it happens for everyone?”

Chuckling into my neck, he says, “I hope not, babe. But that’s definitely how it happened for me.”

“Hmm… for the record, I wouldn’t want to live without breathing your air, either,” I whisper.

“I love you, Julian.”

“And I love you.”