I sat curled up on the couch in the dark feeling sorry for myself. The sun had set and I had done nothing at all. Not get up and start cooking, or get up and switch on a light, or get up and do anything at all. I had done everything Krista had suggested. I was going to put on five pounds from the sweets I’d eaten. The movie had been one of those art productions that had nothing to do with love.
It hadn’t made a difference at all. I still felt like shit. The moment the anger had faded away, I’d started feeling like my life was over and that feeling was still there.
I closed my eyes. I could still feel his hands on my body when I concentrated. I felt his fingers tracing the outline of my breasts, the wetness of his mouth on my nipples, the feel of his body against mine when he pressed us so close together it was impossible to tell that we were two different people. I knew every freckle on his body as if I had studied it for years. I knew the size and the feel of him when he pressed into me, the power of his thrusts in contrast to the gentleness of his hands and his eyes.
Dammit, why couldn’t I just forget about him? Why couldn’t I treat him like any other fling - that happened to have great sex as a bonus - and move on with my life?
The answer was simple. Because at some point he had become more than just a fling, and I had lost more than just a fuck buddy.
I had just lost a guy I’d actually considered getting serious with. I wasn’t sure which was worse - the fact that I’d ended up falling for the son of a bitch after all, or that it had broken me this much to lose him. Maybe it was a tie between the two for downright pathetic. How did you spell Jayna? P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
The problem was that even though I had been the one to break it off with him, and he had every right to go around doing whichever girl he wanted now - like that had stopped him before? - I couldn’t stand the thought of him out there with someone else. And I was sure that was what he was doing. There was even less reason for him to hold back now than there had been before, and it wasn’t like he’d seemed very upset about the whole break up. Was I the only one that gave a damn? Had I been the only one to care?
Maybe it was what he’d wanted. He’d tried to talk to me when I’d blown up in his face - had I overreacted? No, there had been scratches. Scratches. Besides, he’d ended up leaving without putting up much of a fight, and I didn’t see him running back. I was betting it was one of those cases where he’d really hoped I would end it so that he wouldn’t have to break my heart.
Bad news buddy, it had shattered anyway.
I was miserable, and I knew that I’d brought it all on myself. Krista had warned me. Hell, even without her warning, I’d known that it would be a mistake to get involved with someone like him. No one fell in love with an idiot that used you for sex and kicked you out like your services were complete. No one except me, obviously.
It was just the kindness that had started showing through afterward that had gotten to me. I hadn’t expected it from him, hadn’t expected him to have the capacity. It had started off with raw attraction because, in all honesty, who could say no to a bad boy? Those muscles, the fuck-the-world attitude that I envied. And it had developed from there because he’d had a personality under all that I-don’t-care. It had been one I’d wanted to get to know. My mother often said I spent time with people because they gave me what I couldn’t conjure up for myself - acceptance. I hated to admit that she was right, but it did happen from time to time.
And look where I was now? A blubbering mess on the couch. There was nothing worse than hearing I-told-you-so. From yourself.
What was keeping Krista and her wine? It was getting late, and God knew I could do with a drink. A bottle. Something that would knock me out long and hard enough so that when I woke up, I’d have somehow managed to have found some sense again. I’d been sitting in the dark for hours, wallowing in self-pity, feeling like I was the world’s most terrible victim.
I got up and closed the curtains that were still open. I flicked on the light and looked around the room. It wasn’t as neat as it could be - a dirty tea cup stood on the coffee table, and on the couch was a jacket I hadn’t taken to the cleaners yet, a stack of mail on the small table next to the door, but it would have to do. I wasn’t in the mood to clean up.
Krista had said she just needed to finish something up - I couldn’t remember what - and then she would come over. It seemed awfully late now, already.
A knock on the door shot relief through me. Finally, I wouldn’t have to be alone. Thank. God. I pushed my fingers through my messy hair before I opened the door.
Krista stood at the door in an outfit that could have been for a business meeting or for a night out. She always looked trendy. Her cheeks were a little flushed like she’d been running. She swallowed. I glanced down and saw the much needed wine in her hand, hanging at her side like a second guest.
“I’m so glad you made it,” I said.
Krista didn’t answer. She pursed her lips and shook her head almost imperceptibly.
“What’s wrong?”
She looked scared. I realized that was what it was. She swallowed again, and when I looked at her neck I realized she wasn’t breathing, the dimple at the bottom of her throat betraying it. Her eyes were widened a little, her empty hand stretched out flat against her thighs.
“Krista—” A low growl cut me off. That was the sound of an animal. I popped my head around the corner. Three pitbulls stood in the hallway, straining against their leashes. They didn’t have their teeth bared, but they looked deadly, with black empty eyes. I opened my mouth to speak when a woman stepped into view. She held onto the leashes, and I recognized her.
“Akira,” I said. It had to be. The name matched the face. The dark hair and olive skin I’d seen when I was on the back of the bike with Dax that one time was still beautiful, but her eyes were dead - empty like those of her dogs - and she looked like a disaster waiting to happen. I recognized two of the dogs from her car from back then, too.
“Hello, Jayna.”
How did she know who I was? Although, from what Dax had told me, she wasn’t all there. Looking at her now, with her eyes empty of life, and that smile painted onto her face like she was trying to convince someone she wasn’t all bad, made me think he’d been honest about it. If she was really crazy maybe she’d been following me, stalking me, finding out who I was. It would explain everything.
“What are you doing here?” I tried to sound confident, I really did. My voice was thin, instead, and I sounded about as scared as I was.
“Why don’t you go inside?” She was speaking to Krista, ignoring my question. “You were planning to visit your little friend, weren’t you?”
Krista swallowed another time, her eyes trying to tell me something I didn’t understand. Akira put a hand on Krista’s back and shoved her into the apartment so that she crashed into me. I managed to stay upright, and stopped Krista from tumbling to the floor, too. The dogs followed us in so that we stumbled over each other again to get away from them, and then Krista was in my personal space. I felt raw and exposed. She looked around, and it felt like she could see every part of my life just by looking at the surroundings, and she was judging it.
“Sorry,” Krista mumbled when she finally found her footing and was stable again. She turned around and shot Akira a stare that would scare almost anyone. Akira just laughed. She stepped around us and closed the door. I didn’t want those three dogs in my house. For that matter, I didn’t want her there, either. At this point I wasn’t sure which of them was more dangerous, the dogs, or the human I was sure had made them that way.
“Get back against the door,” Akira said in a voice that made me want to do what she asked; there was a big “or else” that came with it. She had those three dogs straining to get to us, and I doubted they would just sniff and growl a bit. Who needed a gun when you had three bloodthirsty pitbulls to use instead? Akira had chosen her weapon, and I had to admit it wasn’t a bad choice.
Krista must have had the same thought; she backed up against the door without being asked twice. She didn’t take her eyes off the dogs. I followed her, doing what she was doing because it seemed safer that way.
I’d taken some self-defense classes back when I’d just finished high school. What was the point of having all that knowledge? I’d always thought the situation had to be perfect for the self-defense moves to actually work, and this just proved my point. I wasn’t exactly going to attempt a forward kick at the dogs. I would more than likely lose a foot. Maybe if we got out of here alive I would find a self-defense instructor and ask him what we should have done in this situation.
Akira laughed. The sound was off, a little too high, and it skipped around my apartment. I glanced at Krista. She was still staring at the dogs. I was fine with dogs, but some people weren’t; was she one of them? Her fear didn’t die down, the adrenaline working itself out of her system like it did with me.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “We’re going to be fine.”
“We’re going to be fine,” Akira mocked, like a child did in elementary school. With the fear seeping away, irritation crept in, taking its place. I wanted her out of my apartment, away from my friend, out of my life. I wanted to say something snide, but then one of the dogs started growling again and I changed my mind. I wasn’t scared of dogs, but I preferred them not to get off those leashes.
Akira took out her phone and aimed it at us. She clicked and the flash went off before either of us could do or say anything. I was sure we looked great in that one. Not.
“Oh, that’s a nice, one,” Akira said. “You look so scared.” She laughed again and pressed buttons on her screen. A moment later it beeped the way it did when a message was sent. Or uploaded. What kind of screen name would Akira have on Instagram? @bitchesbecrazy?
“Who did you send that to?” I didn’t know why it was suddenly important to know. Maybe it was just something to mull over while I was being held up by pitbulls in my own apartment.
“Does it matter?”
I wasn’t sure if it did matter. I doubted she would be sending it to Dax - all that would do was make him hate her more. If he even cared, which I wasn’t sure he did. She would send him a photo of the two of us and he would look at it, shrug, and have another drink. Or another broad.
The idea made me want to cry. If that was how he felt about me, it was good we were over. I hoped it wasn’t true, but I had to prepare myself for the fact that it might be. That it probably was. I took a deep breath and blew it out in a shudder. Krista took my hand and squeezed it the way I’d done for her before. I glanced at her. What were friends for if you couldn’t stare death in the face together?
“The three of us are going on a little trip,” Akira said when she was done with her phone. She looked at me. “You’re in video editing. I want to know where you work. Your details online aren’t updated.”
“I’m still working on my Wikipedia page,” I said. Akira looked at me with empty eyes.
“You’re funny.”
I shook my head. There was no way I was going to help her do whatever she wanted us to do.
She whistled low and long. One of the dogs started snapping its jaws, straining against the leash toward Krista. Krista’s face paled and she tried to back away from the dog, but there wasn’t anywhere for her to go. I was sure that if Akira let go of the dog, it would go for Krista, and somehow she would find away to get right through that door. Her fear was almost palpable in the air, so strong even I could taste it.
“You know what comes next, right?” Akira asked. She had an arrogant smile on her face; even her eyes were laughing at me. I did know what came next but she said it anyway. “You’re going to give me an address for your office, or I’m going to let one of these dogs kill your friend.”
I glanced down at the dog. I knew it was capable of killing, and judging by Krista’s face, the fear of being attacked alone would kill her before the dog reached her.
“Just so you can’t give me the wrong address, I’m going to Google what you tell me so that we can see how much you really care for your friend.” Why did villains always make threats like that? Ransom? Was there a Villain101 class they attended telling them what to do in a hostage situation? I’m sorry, miss, you failed your villain exam, I’m sorry you’re not bad enough.
Dammit. I had in fact planned on giving her the wrong address. She waited, her phone in her hand, looking at me. The dog tugged and yanked at the leash but she had him in some sort of iron grip and stood there like it was nothing. I might have been impressed by the fact that she managed it if I didn’t hate her so much. The other two dogs were getting riled up by their buddy’s reaction. If I didn’t move quickly, it wasn’t just one dog we were going to have to worry about.
“Fine,” I said. Akira looked at me and her eyes drained of emotion, a small taste of the heartlessness that lay underneath. I gave her the address. What else could I do? She typed it into her phone, and a moment later she nodded.
“Good girl.” Wow, I hated how patronizing she was. There was nothing I could do or say about it.
I just needed her to tell us we could get outside the door, and then we might be able to outrun the dogs. A dog wasn’t like a gun - there would be time to react.
Akira must have known it too. Like she knew what I was thinking, she pulled out a black gun that fit in her hand like it was made for her and smiled. The smile held promise of pain.
“Just in case you’re thinking of running.”
Who me?
She flicked the gun and I took it as a command to open the door. We stepped away and I did as she asked. Akira stepped toward us and I felt Krista stiffen. I pulled her through the door, but I didn’t run like I’d wanted to. A gun was serious. There was no time for games. Definite death by gunshot sounded so much worse than possible death by dog
Akira stepped through the door after us and let go of the leashes. She closed the door, locking the dogs inside.
“You’re leaving them there?”
“In case Dax comes looking for you.” It wasn’t like he would, but on the off chance that he did actually come and look for me - which seemed farfetched - he would really get hurt. And I had no way to warn him that he was walking into sure death.
Shit. I wanted to say something, but suddenly I was staring down the business end of the gun. I shut my mouth.